House of Sand

"It's a shortcut," she grinned, wiping the sweat from her brow.

"A shortcut?" I grunted, raising my voice. "You wanna run through the woods?"

"Is your leg okay?" She asked.

I rubbed my legs, "yeah, it's not my legs that are the problem. It's the lack of exercise that --"

Anna stepped off the path and into the greenery in the middle of my sentence.

"Wait, where are we going?" I shouted as she moved away from me.

"Come on, Blue," she beckoned. "Keep up!"

"Seriously?" I yelped as she disappeared from view. "Slow down, Anna!"

"Keep up, Blue!" She hollered. "I wanna show you something."

"Jesus Christ. She's crazy."

We ran through the woods proper, hopping over fallen trees and ducking beneath low-hanging branches. Anna had gotten so far away from me that I could neither hear nor see her. Instead, I was only aware of the sopping of my feet against the damp ground, the crumpling of leaves beneath my shoes, and the heat of my raging lungs. The wildlife sang too, and I would have cared more if I didn't feel as if my chest was about to explode. One could easily forget we were in the middle of a metropolitan area with over six million people. I emerged from the trees upon a grassy hill, once again against the river's shoals. Anna waited expectantly with her hands on her hips.

"What was that about?" I exhaled, my face and chest lobster-red. "Running through the forest isn't exactly--" I laid my weight on my knees again. "It's not easy work."

Anna pointed to the large, red-roofed building at the top of the hill. "Know what that is?" She raised her eyebrows like a teacher.

I moaned, "that's -- that's Mount Vernon. George Washington's home."

"Yup," her dimples appeared. "We get in free if we take my little shortcut."

I shook my head, "we're not actually going up there, right?"

"Why not?" she shrugged. Her chest glittered with sweat and pumped in tandem with her breathing, and I couldn't help but find myself staring.

"Oh, come on, Anna, we can't sneak into--" She charged up the hill before I could finish.

"Anna, wait!" I roared.

"Come on, Blue!" Her laughter crippled her running. "Where's your sense of adventure?"

"Adventure?" I bolted. "I left it at the 'no trespassing' sign."

We jogged around the mansion, straddled by the Potomac on one side and immaculate gardens on the other. Tourists wandered about the grounds with their backpacks, sun hats, knee-shorts, and cameras. Meanwhile, two girls with running shorts, dripping and rosy-skinned, emerged from the hill. We entered into a gravel-paved circle where Anna squatted to rest.

I groused, "what are we doing, Anna?" My lungs begged for air. "How much money did these people pay to get in here?"

"Fifteen bucks," she chuckled, picking up a tiny rock from the ground.

"Seriously?" I whispered, looking around in all directions. "What if we get caught?"

Anna wiped the perspiration from her forehead with her hat. "We're not going to get caught," she assured. "You were a rule-follower in school, weren't you." She looked at me comically.

I returned, "as a matter of fact, I was -- still am. Not tryna get charged with anything either."

She shrugged casually. "Nobody has even noticed us," she defended.

"We stick out like a pair of jackasses, Anna."

"Relax, Blue. We're not taking the tour, just passing through."

"Yeah, but still," I attempted to justify.

Anna gestured her hand toward the largest building, "that's where the president lived." She directed my attention to a smaller building, "and those were his horse stables."

She pointed to a brick building in the background. "And that's -- that's where he pulled teeth from his slaves' mouths to make his dentures."

My face hardened. "Wait, really?"

"Yup!" Anna answered.

"Damn. They always told us they were made of wood in elementary school."

"Of course," she jabbed. "They like to sugar coat things to make them sound nicer. I call it historic bullshit."

She checked her watch with a sense of urgency. "Let's head back."

"We're not going to take a break?" I pleaded. "We just got here."

"A break? You're the one upset about sneaking in," she let on a sarcastic chuckle. "And it's only been two miles."

"Two miles while traipsing through the jungle of mystery." I rubbed my skin, "and I think I got scratched from a twig or two. If we're here, we might as well sit for a minute."

Anna's shoulders bounced. "Okay, let's sit in the shade."

We rested on a bench nestled against a brick wall. Tourists walked passed us, grazing about like cattle. "How many times have you sneaked into this place?" I whispered in condescendence.

She pretended to count on her fingers, "maybe twenty or so?"

"Good grief," I grumbled. "Ever get caught?"

"No, Charlie Brown, they don't care."

I glared skeptically. She altered her statement, "well, maybe they care, but it's not like they have security roaming around checking tickets."

Anna advised, "and it's nice to do stuff like this and take your mind off work."

"So, running with friends helps loosen up. What else do you do to stay sane?"

Anna looked up as she thought, "go out for drinks every now and then, which you already know. Read a good book or watch TV at night. Sometimes, a nice meal is good too. And oh!--" Her face lit with enthusiasm. "And masturbate every day."

"What?" I covered my mouth while my face reddened with embarrassment.

Anna responded in fun, "how old are you, Blue? Thirteen? Yes, I said 'masturbate'."

"But--" I stopped mid-sentence.

She concluded, "trust me -- do it when you wake up and your day'll be ten times better. And if you can, do it before bed too."

"You're so weird," I contended. "Who has the time?"

"How long does it take? Not long for me. And you know I don't give a damn about being weird," she returned. She leaned toward me and whispered as if she thought someone could overhear us, "I did it this morning as soon as I woke up, and I'll probably do it tonight with the shower head. Water's a fantastic feeling if you've never tried it. Find yourself a good detachable shower head with a lot of pressure and a long hose. It'll change your life."

"Oh, my God," I mumbled, confounded by her remarks, looking away to conceal my blushing. "It's not that easy."

"What do you mean?" Anna asked, her expression morphing to one of intrigue. "Are you offended, Blue?"

"No," I blurted, "and it's not like you'd care if I were."

"I wouldn't, and what do you mean?"

My words foundered, "I-- it's this anxiety thing I have."

"You can't masturbate because of anxiety," her face wrinkled in confusion.

"No, it's the medicine I take. Sometimes it's-- it makes it hard to finish." My discomfort translated to a deeper shade of red.

"Oh," Anna grunted. She hesitated a moment before adding, "so, you can't do it at all?"

"No, no I can," I returned. "And I do frequently. I just have to be really -- I don't know -- excited." I crossed my legs and looked toward the mansion.

"You have anxiety?" She prodded.

"A little," I breathed. "It's not too severe. The meds usually prevent me from overworking because I'm afraid that something's going to go wrong. It basically helps me sleep at night without worrying about tomorrow. But the medicine stifles my -- I paused, searching my mind for the correct word -- my ability to finish."

"Is that normal with the medicine?" She wondered. "I've never heard that medicine can keep you from orgasming."

"It's a side effect," I informed. "Before I started the meds, I used to--" I chuckled softly at the reality that I was having this conversation. My Christian, conservative background was consuming my nerves. I continued, Anna bending herself forward in inquisitiveness. "I used to do it with ease before the meds. Now I still do, but I just need something to -- you, know -- something to help out."

"Like porn?" She asked.

Reading something sexy is usually how I get going. Porn works too but is just not as interesting to me. I flip through what seems like hundreds of videos before I find something." I looked away from her again. Why am I telling her this?

"Hey, nothing wrong with medication and porn," she assured. "What do you read or watch?"

"Oh, God," I exclaimed, burying my face in my hands.

"Well?" Anna investigated.

"This conversation is so weird," I groaned, muffled through my fingers, dancing the line between an anxious laugh and misery.

"You brought the whole porn thing up, dummy," Anna joked.

"I know, I just -- I usually don't talk about this with people."

Anna rolled her eyes. "Okay, bring it up and leave me hanging, that's cool."

"Fuck off," I joked. "I come from a religious family."

"Okay, I apologize," she withdrew. "If you don't want to answer, then you don't have to. I don't aim to be inappropriate with you." She leaned backward and asked, "but you're religious?"

"Not really. I mean, I used to be. But I've moved away from it. Embarrassment is of old habits, I guess."

"Oh," Anna breathed, seemingly lacking a response.

I added, "I still go to church with my mom and dad, but I'm not sure if I believe or not. It's been a mental debacle of mine for a few years now, and church itself seems like a chore only to make my parents happy."

I yielded to her questions. "For stories, it's mostly romantic stuff I read. Stories with a lot of sex. Porn -- I guess anything I'm in the mood for."

"Any lesbian stuff," Anna asked, a cheeky smile growing on her face.

"Not often, but I have before. And no matter what I watch, I feel guilty or disgusted afterward."

"No reason to be disgusted. If that's what it takes to cum, you gotta do what you gotta do."

"I know," my shoulders sank. "Again, old habits." Amid my discomfort, I felt a strange excitement. A little flutter between my legs -- a hint of arousal. How bizarre is it to be timid, reserved, and aroused all at the same time?

She suggested, "have you tried any toys?"

"Ugh," I grunted, shaking my head.

"Well, have you?" Anna repeated.

"No, they're too expensive."

"Toys help," she stated. "They give you that extra little boost."

"Maybe one day," I mumbled.

"And if I ever offend you, just tell me to stop," she conceded.

I flaunted my hand, "don't worry. Nothing offends me. I've just never been open about my personal life, that's all."

"But sometimes you need to just tell me to shut up if I'm being stupid."

"You're fine," I insisted. "Be as stupid as you want."

Her cute dimples reappeared. "You're funny, Blue."

"I try my best," I retorted facetiously.

"Nah, it seems natural," she observed. "But I gotta tell you something."

"What?"

"And this is serious," she led on.

"What is it?"

"I need you to know this," she dragged.

"What!" I raised my voice.

"And I mean this from the bottom of my heart," she said, now whispering in my ear.

"Come on, Anna." I giggled.

"You need a shower, Blue."

"What the hell, Anna!" I yelled and gave her a friendly punch on the arm.

"Let's go," she directed. She started toward a different area than which we came.

"We're going this way now?" I blurted.

"No more fence hopping, Blue. We can walk right out the front door. Of course, we have to go through the gift shop."

"You're something else."

* * *

After school a couple of days later, someone burst into my classroom while my back was to the door. I jumped, and just before I exclaimed, "Anna!" I saw Jefferson standing in the doorway, stone-faced.

He maintained silence as his stare burned into my brain. His skin was blood-red and his hand gripped the doorknob so tightly that his knuckles were white. I felt the floor moving beneath my feet. He raised his finger and pointed it sharply at me. "Did you tell the admin that I've been bullying students?" His voice was rasp and harsh, but surprisingly soft and calm.

Nervousness grabbed me by the throat. "I -- I got an email from a student and--"

He interrupted, "who's the student?" He walked closer to me, shutting the door behind him, though not before peering into the hallway to see if anyone was in earshot.

"I can't tell you that," I fired, my voice shaking.

"Seriously?" His volume intensified. So did the redness in his face. His arms shot upward so that he briefly resembled a depiction of the crucifix. "You could've talked to me about it before making a big deal about it. It was just a big misunderstanding. The student was confused." He pointed in a general direction toward the front office. "Now the admin are breathing down my neck wondering what's going on."

I stepped backward into the corner behind my desk. "Well, I went to my department head. She said that--"

He interjected, "Anna?" He shook his head, now putting his hands on his hips, forming right angles with his arms. "Jesus Christ, that woman."

I snapped to Anna's defense, and seemingly to Jefferson's surprise. "What?" I blurted. "I did what I was supposed to do. She did what she was supposed to do. It's not my fault, her fault, or the student's fault. Don't come in here criticizing me." I trembled in place; my heart thumped so harshly that it rattled my hands.

He let on an out-of-place laugh as he scratched his balding head. "And who are you? A first-year teacher? You haven't even been here a full quarter and you're acting all high and lofty."

I had no idea how to express my thoughts. But it didn't matter because Jefferson was going to continue to interrupt me. "I just--"

He put his hand forward to silence me. "In the future, sweetheart, tell me when a student says something about me. You don't need to go above my head for something that really doesn't concern you."

I clasped my hands together and breathed deeply before gathering my thoughts. "With due respect, if the student makes an allegation against a teacher, that's the last thing I'm going to do. It'll cause--"

He clapped his palms together with each syllable and yelled slowly. "It -- is -- a -- cour -- te -- sy. You don't know anything about the situation, Maddie."

I contested, "but that's why they'll investigate it."

Jefferson went on, "but there's nothing to investigate, sweetheart." I cringed at the word "sweetheart." It dripped with fraudulence.

"All I did was forward the email to admin. That was the advice given to me. That--"

"But why did you go to Anna with it in the first place?" He laughed awkwardly. "You two -- huh! There's something fishy between the two of you."

I felt my face become the color of lava, but I could not speak. The words came through my throat, but my tongue would not allow me to articulate them. Jefferson flamed loudly, "in the future, just mind your business. And if a student has something to say, let them say it to me first."

I responded, "I don't know what to tell you. What's done is--"

"Is everything okay," Anna peeked open the door, overhearing our flaring tensions from the hallway.

"Everything's fine, Anna," Jefferson answered, the sharpness of his tone contradicting his lie.

I objected, "no, he found out that I forwarded that email to the administration, and now he's pissed at me and accusing me of nonsense."

Anna became death. She pointed at him and snarled, "Jefferson! Maddie did the right thing. The student accused you of bullying her. That's not ignorable. It's something the admin will have to handle."

"You guys are ignorant to how things work. You're a ten-year teacher and a first-year teacher." The veins hardened in his face as he pointed at himself. Droplets of saliva flew from his mouth as he argued. "I've been teaching twenty-three years. He gestured toward me, "this broad wasn't even out of diapers when I started."

"Mr. Jefferson!" Anna yelled dangerously loud. "You are well out of line."

Jefferson waved his hand in ignorance. "Whatever," he said. "You're going to defend her no matter what."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Anna crossed her arms and shifted her weight to one leg. Her face hurled scorn at Jefferson. "I wouldn't defend her if she were wrong. You of all people know that. I don't say anything I don't mean."

Jefferson pointed at me, "but she is wrong! You're only defending her because you have a crush on her."

"What!" Anna shouted.

A sly grin crawled onto his rotten face. He lowered his tone, suggesting he knew he was not right. "We know you're gay, Anna. And we all know the story about how you found her in that crash. It's the Florence Nightingale effect -- when nurses fall in love with their patients."

Anna stepped closer to him, "You -- there is no--! There are more things in heaven and earth, Mr. Jefferson, than are dreamt of in your philosophy. I've learned more from Maddie than I have from many other long-time teachers in this school. Her being a first-year teacher has nothing to do with anything. I've certainly learned more from her than from you. She is a fantastic teacher and she's highly intelligent. And for you, her mentor of all things, to belittle her like that is unequivocally immoral and disgraceful. You're supposed to support her -- to uplift her, not degrade her." Jefferson shook his head and looked to the floor, making an obnoxious noise in place of a legitimate rebuttal.

Anna threw her arm toward the door, "just get out." Jefferson obliged and stormed out of the classroom.

"There are more things in heaven and earth?" I questioned.

"It's Shakespeare," she snapped, her cheeks changing from rosy to pale.

"Oh," I muttered. I forced a smile to combat her still-raging fury.

"See what I mean?" She whispered loudly. "He's a bastard. He'll make you feel wonderful, then he'll throw you and the world under the bus. You didn't tell him who sent you the email, right?"

"Of course not," I answered. "And what do we do now?"

"Well, now we probably need to tell the admin about this too. But I definitely don't want him to be your mentor anymore. That's only going to be insanely awkward for you in the future, and it won't be any benefit either."

"I think that's a good idea," I murmured. "About what he said--"

"Maddie," Anna jumped. "None of that's true. Florence Nightingale? He's an idiot." Anna stayed quiet for a few moments as she gathered her thoughts.

"What about me as your mentor?" She suggested. "Technically, you have to have one -- district policy."

"Of course," I gleamed. "You're already a fantastic mentor, just unofficially."

"And I don't care about the money. I'll do it because you're a halfway decent person."

"Halfway decent?" I challenged. "I'm spectacular." I strutted a tiny dance. Anna's rage melted into a smile. I questioned, "and he's getting paid to be my mentor?"

"Not anymore," she quipped. "But it's stipend at like $300 per year -- really small, especially after taxes. And you are spectacular, indeed." My stomach filled with butterflies. "And by the way," Anna went on. "I came down here to remind you about tomorrow. You up to go to La Mer if I pick you up around eight?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed.

Chapter V - Un-trespassed Sanctity

Saturday night, I spend the better part of two hours getting ready to meet Anna. This outfit's too bright. This one's too long. This doesn't match. Is this too slutty? Finally, I decided on a garnet top, quite revealing with its deep v-neck. I wore an equally revealing black skirt, reaching only to my mid-thigh, coupled with a mid-section belt to accentuate my slender figure. My phone rang: Shit, it's 8:01.

"Hello," I answered cheerfully, seeing Anna's name on the screen.

She yelped so loudly that I had to move the phone away from my ear. "I'm outside, Blue. Let's go!"

"Coming," I ruffed. "Give me -- uhh -- give me two minutes," I delayed as I combed my hair with my free hand.