How Much Love?

Rob snorted again and his face went to anger. Cheryl couldn't figure out what he was pissed about.

"Somehow with you, everything is about sex isn't it," he snapped. "You were a woman long before we met. And a very special one. I thought that you were my woman when you claimed that you loved me. So sex had nothing to do with it. That night all that happened was I started warming you up for the legions of men you'd eventually fuck when you got tired of me."

"So Rob how many girls did you fuck before we met?" asked Cheryl. "Be honest, I know of at least 5 or 6. So you're way ahead of me when it comes to being a slut."

"The difference is that when I met you, I stopped," said Rob. "I knew what it was like and I enjoyed it, but I stopped for you. Since we met there's been no one except you. I kept the vow we made, that's the difference."

"I waited my whole life to meet you Rob. You were my first. I love you so much more than you'll ever know. I loved making love with you. It was magical and special and nothing or no one has ever come close to that. But I didn't really know how special because I had nothing to compare it to. I just felt that all of those silly women in my office were doing all of these incredible things, that I'd never got to experience. Rob, part of that was your fault after all because you spoiled me. You made me feel like the most special woman in the world. And I just wanted to see what they were talking about. The first guy was a young guy with lots of energy, but it was awful because he didn't know what to do with it and he turned out to be an asshole. He made me feel cheap and stupid.

They told me to try an older more experienced guy who'd be gentle and caring. He had trouble keeping it up and stole all of my money. After that you stopped having sex with me. They told me to try one more thing, a real pussy hound with a great big dick. Rob I know what you think you saw but as soon as he started fucking me I knew it was just wrong and I knew what was missing. Didn't you notice that I didn't move or react?

You told Connie that I let him fuck me. You were absolutely right. I just laid there and let him do it to get it over with and agreed with what he said. He said something about me wanting him to get me pregnant. Rob I swear on my life I was thinking about what I'd make you for dinner. That's why I said something like just do it, or yeah I want that. What I really wanted was him out of me and our house. I'd already decided not to ever do it again. I never had the chance to experiment during my teen years when everyone else did, Rob. I didn't get to neck in the backseat of cars or whatever teenagers do. So I went crazy for a couple of weeks and you just won't forgive me. Fourteen years of happiness should outweigh two weeks of stupidity, Rob."

"Cheryl, if you'd stopped after the first guy, I'd have been angry but we'd have gotten past it," said Rob. "You could have explained what you just did and we could have worked it out. It was too late after that. You put your friends at work ahead of us and your need for more dick ahead of us too. So now you can experiment and compare and try out everything you want. You don't have anyone to cheat on. I don't give a damn how many guys you try out the backseat with as long as it's not my car." He shrugged his shoulders.

"The thing I don't get though," he said. "Is why you didn't just come to me and say, Rob, It's been great but there are things I want to do that I can't do while I'm with you. That would have been honest and the right thing to do. I'd have given you a divorce and as soon as I moved out or you did you could have started fucking whoever you wanted. Why play me like a sucker? All that did was make me hate you."

"Because, you asshole," snapped Cheryl. "You weren't a sucker. And I wanted to stay married to you. I loved you as much then as I do now. I'll love you even more a year from now. I just made a mistake. Can't you get that through your head Rob? I'm not perfect. I made a fucked up decision. I was stupid. You and I are meant to be together, but I fucked it up. I regret it every day. The day you walked out on me I wanted to die. The only day I can think of that was worse was the day I got the divorce papers, or the day the judge granted the divorce. I have nightmares about it every day."

"You have nightmares!" screamed Rob. "There are so many times that I wake up in a cold sweat watching that bastard pump his juice into you while you just lay there and let him. I wish just once that you could come in and watch me pumping my stuff into some woman, while she just lays there begging me to get her pregnant. Do that and then we'll talk about nightmares."

"It'll never happen Rob," snapped Cheryl. "I'd kill her first, who ever she was."

The next day Rob took Cheryl to get the cast taken off of her arm. He took her back to the house and helped her get into her bed. When he got home from work there was a strange man in the dining room. Connie and Cheryl were there. Cheryl looked up at Rob and smiled. They hadn't spoken since the previous day's argument.

"Sit down Rob," said Cheryl. At first Rob thought that the man was a doctor, and then he realized that something different was going on.

The man asked Cheryl question after question, and she answered them. Then the man turned to Rob and gave him a print out.

"Here are the results of your wife's test," said the man.

"Ex wife," corrected Rob.

"Not according to the test," said the man.

"I asked her if she was your wife. She said, "According to the law, you were divorced but it was against her will and in her mind you were still married." She wasn't lying."

"I asked her if she ever cheated on you, she admitted to three times. I asked her if there had been any others. She said "No," and she was telling the truth. I asked her if she enjoyed any of those three times. She said "No," and she was telling the truth. I asked her if she wanted the last guy to get her pregnant. She said, "Hell no," and she was telling the truth. I asked her if she did want to get pregnant. She said, "Yes very badly," but she wanted it to be you. I asked her if she loved any man other than you, she said, "No." And she was telling the truth. I asked her if she loves you. She said, "yes," and she had since the day she met you. And she was telling the truth."

"Told ya," said Cheryl.

The man held out a cuff that looked like a blood pressure sleeve. Rob moved away from him. "It's your turn sir," said the man. "I have a list of questions for you too."

Rob looked at the questions. There were only five questions on the list. "I don't have to do this," he said. Rob headed for the door.

"Question number one," screamed Cheryl. "Did you hate what Cheryl did? You'll answer yes and it'll be true. Question number two. Do you hate Cheryl? You'll say yes again and you'll be lying Rob. Question number three, do you wish things were back the way they were before all of this shit? You want it as badly as I do," she screamed. Rob slammed the door violently.

"Question number four, do you want me back? You'll say no, and you'll be lying again. And question number five, Rob. Do you still love me? You'll say no and you'll be lying," screamed Cheryl.

"You're full of shit, Cheryl," screamed Rob coming back into the room.

"Rob, you are too," she snapped. "You're just stubborn. If you hate me so much why do you tell me you love me and kiss me goodnight every fucking night when you think I'm asleep. Rob, you even kissed me in the hospital. Why is it so hard for you to be honest? The only thing keeping us apart now is your fucking ego."

"That and the fact that you threw what we had away once," said Rob. "I won't let you hurt me again. Ever. No matter how I feel."

They sat still glaring at each other for a long time, and then Rob went up the stairs to his room. "You pushed him too far, Cheryl," said Connie.

"I know," said Cheryl crying. "But he just makes me so angry. Sometimes when I look at him I want to just touch him so badly and I can't. When we watch TV together at night, it drives me crazy that I can't kiss him or hug him. I just hurt all the time. I was desperate. I thought that maybe seeing the results of the test would at least let him know that I was telling him the truth."

"I'm not sure he even paid any attention to that," said Connie. "But I'm sure that when you tried to get him to take a test as well, that was the bad part. Cheryl, I've been telling you since day one that we needed to take this slowly and carefully. We see this differently from the way a man would. To most men their woman cheating on them is a blow to their ego and their masculinity. What you called curiosity or experimenting most men would see as them not being enough for you. If he takes you back for any reason, he has to deal with the fact that a lot of people will think that he's a wimp. So no matter how much he loves you, and let's face it, we know he does, all you just did was to push him farther away from you."

Cheryl nodded her head. "I know Connie, but I'm desperate. In only two more weeks the casts come off of my legs. My legs will be weak for a while but I'll be able to get around. There won't be any reason for him to stay here anymore. I have fourteen days to get my husband back."

"Well, did you like having him come in here every night and kissing you goodnight?" asked Connie.

"Of course, I do," said Cheryl. "It's the best part of my day."

"Well you just gave that up. He'll never do it again now that you threw it in his face," said Connie.

Things changed that night as Connie predicted. Rob still took care of Cheryl as he'd promised but it was different. For one thing since she had the use of her arm back he no longer helped her in the bathroom. When he brought her dinner to her, even though he didn't need to feed her anymore, he no longer sat and talked with her or watched TV with her. Cheryl missed those soft goodnight kisses and furtive whispers of how much he loved her most of all.

No matter what she said or did, Rob didn't speak to Cheryl again after that other than to ask her if she needed anything or what she wanted for dinner. He simply refused to engage in conversation with her.

Two weeks to the day, from their argument over Cheryl's lie detector test. Cheryl got her casts taken off of her legs. She still had trouble walking and had a few weeks of physical therapy ahead of her. The doctors had also told her that she'd probably have a very slight limp due to the fact that one of her legs was a bit longer than the other since the surgery to repair the damage to her ankle.

None of that mattered. Cheryl had trouble breathing and couldn't stop herself from crying. She knew that Rob would be leaving, probably as soon as he brought her home, and there was nothing she could do about it.

As they drove back from the hospital he still didn't say a word to her. He very gently carried her in from the car even though the doctors had told her to start walking short distances and to get up and get things for herself.

He went up the stairs and when he came back he had his suitcases. He'd already packed. Her eyes filled with tears.

He walked to the door and put the suitcases down. When she looked up he was standing over her.

"You were right," he began. "I didn't want to take your stupid test because I do still love you more than I can stand. I hate what you did to us. But I don't think I'll ever love anyone the way I love you."

"Then why do you have to leave?" she asked softly.

"Because after what happened between us, I could never trust you again Cheryl. You were my whole life. You hurt me too badly for us to fix. We just need to move on with our lives," he said.

"No," she said sharply. "There's no moving on for me. The one thing I learned in all of this is that you're the only one for me. I don't care how long I have to wait for you. I will. If we get back together when we're eighty, I'll still be here and still be yours. Maybe you should move on and find yourself some hot young chick, or an older experienced MILF. I won't like it Rob. It'll hurt me badly, but I'm sure you'll end up back with me. It's just a matter of time. I think you're going to go out bar hopping and meet a few girls and have sex with them and then you're going to realize that we wasted a lot of fucking time."

Rob leaned over and very gently kissed her, this time on the lips. And then he left.

For over three months, neither Cheryl nor Connie heard from Rob. Cheryl and Connie did remain friends but there was a note of sadness between them. They never talked about Rob. Connie went back to bar hopping and sport sex. She tried to interest Cheryl in dating or at least going but couldn't. "Remember what happened last time you took me out?" said Cheryl.

And then one day, it came. They both received it on the same day. An invitation to Rob's wedding. Cheryl was heartbroken. She'd truly expected for him to come back to her. She thought that he'd probably have a few flings and some sex and then come home to her. He'd even admitted to her that he loved her. She hadn't expected him to fall in love with someone else.

"Are you going?" asked Connie hesitantly.

"Yes," said Cheryl.

"Why?" asked Connie. "Why put yourself through that pain?'

"Because I love him so much," said Cheryl. "I want him to be happy more than anything else. I really want him to be with me again. But if that can't happen I still want him to be happy. So I'll take any chance I can to see him."

Two weeks later Connie and Cheryl got out of Connie's car outside of a church they'd never been to. They were running slightly late but they noticed that there were a lot of people outside of the church still so they didn't rush. Cheryl did notice that there were a lot of Mustangs outside of the church.

"Here they come," said a voice in the crowd. "It looks like he's winning again."

Cheryl craned her neck to see what was going on. As she watched a Black Mustang came in view. It was driving way over the speed limit and there was another car just slightly behind it. The two cars came around the last bend and the Black Mustang's driver squealed his brakes and the car slid into a fast 180 degree turn, leaving tire tracks across the parking lot and nestled against a parking bump just a fraction of a second before the other car, a White Mustang stopped. The two cars were nose to nose and the crowd outside of the church was clapping and shouting.

As she watched Rob got out of the Black Mustang. As he closed the door behind him a tall, slender yet curvy woman who seemed oddly familiar got out of the white car and she was pissed.

"Dammit, Rob you cheated," she snapped.

"Did not," he yelled back. "I'm just faster."

"Are not," the woman pouted. As she spoke she reached down and took off her flats. Someone in the crowd handed her a pair of white high heeled pumps. The woman had on a very strange outfit. The bodice of the outfit was white, brocade with tiny pearls and rhinestones sewed into it. It culminated though in a pair of very brief boy short panties. She had white thigh high stockings on under and the pumps she'd just donned made her incredible legs seem even longer. Connie grimaced thinking that the woman's legs were even better than hers used to be before the accident.

"I won fair and square, now pay up," said Rob. His eyes were alive and fiery.

"I'm not giving you shit," snapped the woman. Something about her face was nagging at Cheryl's memory. Someone in the crowd handed the woman a long silken skirt that she snapped into place completing her very classy looking wedding dress. Someone also gave Rob a tux jacket. The woman glared at Rob and then stopped as he put his jacket on. Her face melted into a smile that just broadcast her feelings for Rob to everyone present.

"Oh all right you did win, even though you cheated," said the woman. "Here's your prize." She stepped into Rob's arms and the two kissed for a long time.

"I love you Rob," the woman said, and Cheryl's heart broke. "Now let's get married."

"Me too, Molly," echoed Rob.

Then they went into the church. Cheryl fell to her knees ruining the dress she'd just spent a week's pay on. She couldn't go inside that church and watch Rob marry Molly. She knew that Rob was exactly what Molly had been looking for. Molly was about 13 years younger than Cheryl and would be a great wife for Rob. They both wanted the same things too. Molly had already sown her wild oats during her modeling days and would not be tempted or fooled the way Cheryl had been. She silently wished Rob well and then went home to cry alone. She'd made her bed when she decided to cheat on her husband and though it was a lonely bed, she'd have to lie in it for the rest of her life.

# # # # # # # # # # #

Author's note: For the hard-nosed people out there who don't believe in romance or forgiveness, Stop reading here and I'll see you next week.

For the open minded people and the romantics out there, in the words of Paul Harvey here's "the rest of the story."

# # # # # # # # # # #

Cheryl settled into a deeper depression. For about a month she was very sad and barely left her house. After a while it started to get better though. She joined a couple of volunteer groups to help fill her time and took on more responsibilities at work. She even went out on a couple of dates but they were disasters. In one case she even looked at the man's face while they were ordering their meals at a restaurant and started shaking her head. "I have to leave," she told him. She'd realized that there was simply no point in her being there because she would only ever love one man. Nothing took away the ache in her heart but there were times she could forget it for a few minutes at a time. One of those was when she spent time helping out at an orphanage. Cheryl always looked at the kids and wondered what her and Rob's children would have looked like.

Almost 8 months after she'd almost attended Rob's wedding Cheryl was sitting at her desk at work. A tall woman with flowing dark blonde hair made her way over to Cheryl's desk.

Cheryl looked up to see Molly glaring angrily at her. Before Cheryl could say anything, Molly reached back and slapped the shit out of Cheryl. Cheryl's head tipped backwards and she fell off of her chair.

Connie and a couple of the other women in the office ran over to see what was going on.

"If you even think about pulling that shit again, I'll hit you much harder next time," said Molly calmly.

Cheryl was confused. "Why did you hit me, Molly?" asked Cheryl. "You should be happy, not angry. You won the race."

"Yeah but it's not much fun when you're driving someone else's car," snapped Molly. "He's yours and he always will be. Let's go, we have a lot to do and not much fucking time."

Cheryl started to get up, but Connie stood between her and Molly.

"She's not going anywhere with you," snapped Connie.

"Look Fattie," said Molly. "This has nothing to do with you. She can either come with me, and get her happiness back or stay here with you and be depressed and withdrawn for the rest of her life. In a way I hope she doesn't come."

Then Molly started walking towards the door. Before she got there Cheryl was right on her heels.

Rob's Black Mustang pulled into his driveway near his wife's White Mustang. He got out of the car and put his key in the lock before he noticed the note taped to the door.

He read the note and smiled.

"Rob. Pretend that the world has been through an apocalyptic event. There is no longer any technology to help us. Most of the human race has been wiped out. You stumble blindly through a wasteland, sleeping in burned out buildings or wherever you can find shelter and a roof over your head. On this particular evening, you find a bedroom at the top of the stairs. You get into bed and take your clothes off only to find that someone else is already there. It is a woman, only she isn't able to speak for some reason. Neither are you. She's naked also. What happens next is up to you.