How to Survive Depression

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Depression really sucks, but it can be survived.
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Part 1 of the 2 part series

Updated 10/21/2022
Created 05/09/2007
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One of the bad things about depression is that it can sneak up on you and blindside you when you least expect it. Another bad thing is that you may not realize that you have it until your entire life is unraveling around you.

Consider too that there are a lot of different kinds of depression: seasonal, manic, post-partum and more. My symptoms were not the classic signs of depression. I did not stay in bed all day with my head under the covers. I was irritated. Everything irritated me: my kids, my husband, my dog, the way my cloths fit, my job. Another major symptom was that I lost all coping abilities. My daughter would spill milk on the table and my day was ruined along with any kind of positive mood. The moral to that paragraph is that you don't have to have all of the classic symptoms to be depressed. Do some research or just go to step #1. This leads me to step number one of surviving depression.

1) Talk to a doctor. Yes I know, the easiest thing in the world right? NOT. Actually going to the doctor and saying I am depressed and I need help was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Probably the only reason I did was: I was scared of how I acted with my kids and my husband said get help or move out, without the kids.

2) Get your medication and keep trying till you get it right. Once you get to the doctor and get some anti-depressants everything is peachy, right? No, sorry but It doesn't work that way. The first medication I took helped a great deal but I was nowhere near one hundred percent. The dosage was upped once and then twice helping a bit more each time. Two years later I got a new doctor (we moved, I didn't actually seek one out) and she kept me on the original medication and had me try another along with it. HOLY HELL what a difference it made. The sun shone down and the angels sang in four part harmony. Two days on my new meds and I was a different person. I was awake for the first time in two years and I was horny as hell (much to the delight of my much neglected husband).

You may think that one kind of medicine is all you need but I discovered that there are THREE different chemical pathways of the brain that can all be malfunctioning; one at a time or in any combination. This means THREE different types of anti-depressants that you take one at a time or in any combination.

Do not think that you can't ask to try something else if you feel that it is not working for you. If your doctor won't work with you FIND ANOTHER DOCTOR.

3. Try a therapist at least once or twice. If you can't afford one check out one of the pastors/priests/rabbi in your area. Yes I did this, I called a total stranger and asked them to help me, and you know what? She was available to me immediately, on a Saturday, on her day off, she dropped everything to help this sobbing stranger on the phone. I don't remember her name at the moment but she is one of those people that I will never forget and will always be grateful to.

I know you are thinking --hey I have my meds now everything is going to be great and I shouldn't have to do anything else. WRONG. Chances are that the relationships around you have taken a beating and so has your own emotional self. You may have withdrawn from everyone around you and you need an outside party to help you figure things out. Could be you only need to go a couple of times, or a couple of times a week. Which ever it is don't shortchange yourself from getting the help you need.

4. DON'T STOP TAKING YOUR MEDS WHEN YOU START FEELING BETTER. My doctor warned me that the first drug I was taking was one of those that you take for a while and it builds up and maintains a steady amount in your body. The withdrawal symptoms could be WORSE than the depression itself. The second was one that acted in much the same way.

Talk to your doctor if you want to get off your meds and they will tell you the best way to do it and can monitor you.

These are definitely strong drugs that you are dealing with and you need to treat them with respect.

My doctor warned me too, that although it was post-partum depression I was dealing with I had enough history of depression in my immediate family that I could have triggered something in my genetics and be on meds for a long time.

(And yes I think people like Tom Cruise who have the gall to criticize people that have gotten help (Brooke) should be locked in a small room with ME, OFF OF MY MEDS until they realize what idiots they are. If God ever grants me one wish it would be that people like him experience post-partum depression in all it's glory so they can see what it is like.)

5. Be active in your recovery. Do research to find out more about your type of depression and the best ways to treat it. Join a support group. Do what you need to do to stay healthy and realize that sometimes everything else must take a backseat to you working on the problem. Everyone around you will benefit from you staying healthy.

6. Try not to strangle friends and family when they offer well meant advice, comments or do anything else completely stupid about your depression. Depression is a disease. In some cases it is temporary and can go away. In many others the 'hard wiring' of your brain is off and you are not making enough of the right chemicals. The only way to fix this is to take your meds. Sometimes you think you have it licked and you end up facing the same problem again. Most people don't realize that some people can never be cured. Short term depression does happen and you can get off the meds, end the therapy and live happily ever after. For the rest of us, we will be living with it for a long time. It is a chronic condition that can be managed quite well.

My own mother who has suffered from depression, and holds a Masters degree in mental health keeps asking me if I am off my medications yet. HELLO she should know better, but apparently doesn't. After putting up with it for so long I simply told her that I didn't appreciate her comments as they made me feel that I should be able to cure my depression all by myself; which was like telling a schizophrenic that they could stop taking their meds and be fine. Furthermore her comments were undermining the fact that I was taking my meds to make me feel better and maintain my health. I also told her that my doctor was the one who would help me make the decision of if and when I would go off them. She shut up about it and hasn't said anything since. It is nice.

Be polite but be firm. You and your doctor know what is best for you. And they need to but out.

7. Express your appreciation regularly to the people that stuck with you. My husband did not divorce me. I WOULD HAVE DIVORCED ME. He stuck with me because he loved me and cared enough about me and our kids to help me work it out. He is regularly thanked and gets laid all the time. (He loves my new meds as much as I do!)

I would love to hear comments from you. (With the exception of Tom Cruise of course, unless it is an apology to me and every other female and family member that has been effected by depression. A box of chocolates would be nice too, Tom.)

Keep in mind that I am not a medical professional and my advice is just that...advice. Stay healthy.

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48 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Damned useful

A most helpful guide, for which many thanks.

HP

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Been there.

Been there, most of my life. Youa are so right about making sure the ones that stuck with you and supported you are appreciated. My poor wife has been by my side for 37 years, don't know why, I would have dumped me a long time ago.

The most important thing is that people must get past the stigma of mental health diseases and be open to talk to anyone that will listen.

Keep helping people Dragon.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
You Understand...

I've been suffering from depression for the last eight years mixed with another disorder that causes seizures. I've been referred to as lazy, a hypercondriac, dramatic and other offensive titles. Very few people see depression as a medical condition, they think it's an excuse to get out of being responsible. I didn't choose to stop living my life, it seemed as if something took my will to push forward and my ability to cope. Not that I want anyone to go through what I went through its good to know someone else understands.

littlebittyjetlittlebittyjetabout 11 years ago
Great article!

Thanks for writing this! I applaud your courage and honesty.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Fighting for years

Wife doesn't get it. So lonely

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago

I have suffered depression for over 20 years. I have been assaulted and suffer PTSD causd by someone who "Loved me". He loved me so much he killed himself when I divorced him. I have been on every medication out there and seen multiple counselors and psychiatrists. One counselor blamed me for my husband's suicide, yes seriously. When on two diff occasioans I told psychiatrists I was suicidal on the medications they told me it wasn't their fault if I killed myself. The newest thinks I don't have depression I have ADHD. I suffer. It destroys me with intimacy. I have a supportive wonderful husband and beautiful children which keep me alive. I survive by holding it in and telling myself I could not hurt my kids by leaving them. I want to see them grow up.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
survivor

I have survived serious deprssion (by which I mean I was in the bath, with the knife touching my wrist), and am now a neuroscientist, I would like to point out some things. First, medication and therapy together work much better than either one alone. Second, we have no idea why. We do not know what causes depression, what its physiology is, or even what it effects. We have no real idea how SSRIs work (seritonin itself does not seem to effect mood), but we know they do. The bottom line is this: no one actually knows how to cure it, but there are a lot of things that can help survive it. This subission is excellent because it covers a lot of them.

And to anyone who still strugles (like I do) with depression: don't lose hope, and you are not alone.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
this is horseshit

Chemical imbalances have multiple cures, and medication should be a last resort. This new lifestyle is not suitable for a body adapted to life as it was so many a year ago.

What I recomnend:

Diet + Excersize

You are what you eat. Running releases endorphins. A body who is working on health improvement could be nothing but happy with himself

Figure out cause of depression

Acknowledgement is key. A lot of the time it is something repressed (or not). Seek therapy/psychie help.

Meditate

A buddha meditates in hopes of one day achieving enlightenment/nirvana: A permanent state of mind in which the beholder finds happiness in all aspects of life.

Medication? what the ****. The problem is still there. Unless the cause for chemical imbalances is genetics, (which, by the way, meditation can still fix) medication is should be a last resort. You can't say it's genetics because it could be something supressed. Even if you're sure of yourself!

This response comes from a teenage drug abuser: I found out I abused because I saught after making my brain happy. My 'addictions' diminished after I learned how to self-produce Serotonin, meditation.

flgffs36idtuoathdwm

Scotsman69Scotsman69over 12 years ago
Thanks for airing this.

I sometimes feel that nobody in my life, including my children, has any understanding of where I am. I've been depressive on and off for nearly thirty years, but recently it's been permanent.

It certainly doesn't help my writing...

ashholeashholeover 12 years ago
just a quick note

i find one thing that doesn't help is keeping your feelings bottled up inside, i used to do that all the time until it came to the point where i basically felt nothing at all, no happiness; joy, sadness, nothing. i felt that just releasing everything every now and again helped, by that i dont mean keeping it bottled up and unleashing every few weeks, i mean maybe in bed at night or when you're with someone who understands. so basically even if it seems to be the right thing to do at the time just dont keep your feelings to yourself.

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