How You Meet Your Trans Girlfriend

You meet me in college. I am the most beautiful woman you've ever seen -- I get attention from everyone. Somehow, I agree to grab a coffee. Then you text. More class. More coffee. More text. I'm Anna. My pronouns are she/they. You're he/him. I don't smoke; don't drink; don't seem to eat anything except salad, tofu, and coffee. You don't smoke; drink very little; eat healthy. I'm 168cm; 50 K. You are 176cm; 70 K. Even your buddies like me, though they snigger you're batting way out of your league. I take you to the gym and for the first time you try my workout routine. You drop out part way ("gotta pee") and vomit. You like that I'm serious about taking care of my body.

We kiss one night. A day later, I say "I identify as a woman but I am non binary" and you're not positive exactly what that means. But you don't much care because your feelings for me are so intense. I am concerned but pleased at how you respond. More class. More coffee. More text. More gym. I'm very modest; very slow to physicality. With other women this would be a deal-breaker for you. With me it's OK. About the time you can complete my daily workout, you get to a light second base and it's the best second base you've ever stolen. My breasts match my face -- perfect. Small, silky, beautiful. Your buddies mock you for being in love. I tell you I have no family, and very few friends. You meet a few of them. They seem to be a mix of standoffish but pleasant, like they're waiting for you to fuck up.

The semester ends. Your life is revolving around me. My routine is your routine. I ask you if you're ready for trying sex. You are ready for trying sex. Still, I'm slow to physicality -- sex remains elusive. You introduce me to your parents at their annual summer barbecue. I'm in a tiny bikini -- enough to drive you to distraction. I'm witty and charming and funny. Even your parents like me, though you dad good-naturedly tells you you're batting way out of your league. He thinks it's funny. You wonder if it's true. Your mom calls you later to let you know it's OK with her if you are thinking of getting serious. Your parents have never acted this weird before.

I finally take you to a hotel room -- neutral ground. There is a lot of making out and I'm wearing crazy kinky lingerie, to advantage. I strip you down completely, tell you that your cock is beautiful and amazing and make you believe it. I run lubricated hands over your cock, your balls, run my fingers up your ass. I know exactly how to handle you. I'm shy about your groping and instead I go down on you. I swallow your cock down my throat, all the way to your balls. I cup your balls, cover you in spit, massage your shaft, sloppy. I know exactly how to handle you. You want to wait until fucking but I won't let you and you explode trying to pull out of my mouth. I take your cum into my mouth, snowball it around, spit it out onto my tits, pick it up with my fingers, put it back in my mouth, swallow. It's strange to you -- I seem like a long-time pro at all of it; you thought I was so modest, so demur. You say "it's my turn to go down on you" and I say OK but you can tell I'm very nervous.

You hook your fingers through my waistband, slide my lacy panties down. I'm waxed all smooth; you like that. I have a cock; how could you not have known? You don't know what to do. You hem and haw, make your vapid excuses. Your hideous, hurtful excuses. As you dress and leave, I'm sobbing hysterically. I say "Why are you acting like this? I love you" as you walk away.

Your buddies say "it figures" when you tell them you broke up, but you don't tell them why. Soon you ask around, and one of your buddies knows a girl who's easy and available. You take her out. Take her back to her place. Fuck her pussy. You go home, you can't think straight, can't stop thinking about me. You tell your buddy his hook-up was hot but boring; he finds it incomprehensible that you think that's a bad combination.

Days pass. Weeks. I never show up at any of the places we used to go. You come by, but my roommate Dana tells you through the door "Anna moved out, fuck off, don't come back, I'll call the police." You leave, can't think straight, can't stop thinking about me. There is nobody you want to talk to; nobody could understand or explain any of this to you. Except me. You decide to text me -- 'Missing you'. No response. Days pass. You text -- 'Can we talk?', response 'That's a bad idea.' Days pass. You text 'My feelings for you are very confusing', response 'You made your feelings very plain to me. I loved you. Please don't torture me.' You text -- 'Can we talk it over?' No response; unread. Days pass. You text -- 'Missing you'; blocked. Days pass. You have to see me. You think, "I love them. I can't live without them. I'll figure out the... sex thing."

You decide you can find me at the gym. I'm not at the old one. Then... the gym chain's closest other location? Yes. There's my car. Now what? Going in seems... too aggressive. You park where I will have to see you. Not too close; not too far. Hours pass and I come out. I see you and freeze for a moment a few yards from my car. You can see I've started sobbing. I get in my car and you just sit there and wait. You don't know why but you start crying, too. After what seems like hours, I finally pull up next to you, crack down my window about an inch, say nothing, cry, don't look at you.

You say, "I miss you. I love you. I'm sorry. Please give me another chance."

I say, "You will never understand how deeply you have hurt me. You totally rejected me. I wanted to die."

You say, "I have no defense. Please give me another chance."

I say, "Why would I do that?"

You say, "I can't live without you." Minutes pass.

I say, "I hear you've been fucking girls with pussies." How do I know that, you wonder?

You say, "Only once."

I say, "And that makes it OK?"

You say, "No. I wish I hadn't done it."

I say, "Who was she?"

And you say, "Amy. I think. Something like Amy."

And I say, "Men are disgusting." And drive away.

Days pass. You go back to my apartment. Through the door, my roommate Dana says "I'm calling the police."

You say, "I didn't come to talk to Anna. I want to talk to you."

She says, "Fuck you. I don't want to talk to you. The police are on the way." You're almost out of the building when she catches up.

She says, "OK shithead, what do you have to say to me?"

You say, "I need to talk it through with somebody. You know them."

She says, "There is no fucking way I'm talking about them with you."

You say, "If... they say it's OK, they've got my number. I can't live without them."

She says, "You've seemed to manage so far." And she waves you toward the door and you leave.

However, you get a text from Dana. And you meet her. She's antagonistic, but says she will hear you out. And you walk her through it, as you see it, and most importantly you're honest. And very concise. And then she says to you, "How can you be with them when their body disgusts you?"

And you say, "It does not disgust me."

And she says, "Part of it disgusts you."

And you say, "Why can't I have a chance to figure it out?"

And she says, "You had a chance, and you..." And you wait for her to finish her sentence because she's smiling, "...and you muffed it."

And somehow that breaks the barrier and she actually listens to you and talks to you. And she finally says, "You know there is no reason to expect anything to change, right? I don't think it will change."

And you say, "At least I can hope."

And she says, "I was born with a pussy. Are you sure you wouldn't rather be with me?"

And you say, "My days of muffing it are over." And she thinks that's kind of funny and kind of sad.

Days pass. I text you to meet, again at the hotel -- neutral ground. I open the room door completely naked, say "Come in." It's very awkward. Dana's inside, too, but clothed. I say, "She's not going to talk. She's just here for my safety. If we're going to have this discussion about bodies, we're going to do it naked so there is no illusion. No misunderstanding. No excuses. Strip."

You say, "OK. This is weird." And you strip.

And I say, "At least it's totally honest."

And Dana eyes your cock which is betraying you by trying to stand up. And my friend says, "Damn, girl..."

And I say, "She's, ahem, not going to talk."

We sit on chairs I've covered with folded towels because I'm proper that way. You talk. You cry. I cry. I get up and stand in front of you, inches away, and say, "Look at my body. Look at all of my body. This is me. This is me on the outside. You say you love me, but you only love me on the inside. I can't be with you if you don't love me all the way through." I turn around and around, say "Really look at me. None of this is going to change. I am never going to change any of it, except that I'm going to get old. Can you love me?" You have a raging hard on and you are swallowing spit.

You say, "I fell in love with you as I got to know you. I will fall in love with your body as I get to know it." You glance at Dana to see if that was stupid to say. She's flushed and lightly sweating and her nipples are hard and you don't know how to interpret that. My beloved Dana.

I say, "I will like you to go down on me. I don't... it's difficult for me to get hard like you. And I don't cum like you. But that doesn't mean I don't like sex. Because I do." And you are committed and put your hand out and take my cock gently.

I'm small and soft and you say, "OK."

And I turn to my friend and say, "You can leave, we are going to try to have sex."

And Dana starts to stand up but then says, "Remember that I'm supposed to remind you that he cheated on you."

I say, to you, "I can't ever forget that. But I will try to move past it."

And my friend stands up, and you stand up, and Dana eyefucks you up and down and says, "Damn, girl... for reals." And she goes home.

I'm in your arms, wet tongue in your mouth, soft breasts against your chest, hard abs against your stomach, cock against your hard cock, one leg wrapped around your leg, one hand in your hair, one hand on your ass, both hands pulling you toward me. You want me so bad it's painful, put both your hands on my ass, lift me up, and I wrap both legs around you, start gently humping my hips against you, rocking up and down. You carry me to the bed, lay me down, climb on top, suck on my breasts, move up to my mouth, rub your cock against my cock, you say, "Let me know how. I don't want to hurt you."

I say, "Like that, just like that, put your leg between mine, you can sort of hump me like that but do it lower. Lower." And then, "Please be gentle and careful. I'm really sensitive, so handle it like, you know, you would handle your own." And you're starting to get a little confused and I say, "It's easier if you will let me be on top, to show you, if that's OK with you", and it is.

I straddle you like a cowgirl, pulling my cock forward and up, rub your cock with my... You ask, "What... what do you call that, uh, spot?"

I say, "Gooch, I guess." I lean way over, pull a tube of lube out of my discarded jeans, squirt it all over your cock, and start sliding back and forth.

You say, "You're prepared."

I ask, "What do you mean?"

You say, "You brought lube."

I say, "Busted."

It feels... right. You are playing with my tits; you're playing too hard and I turn around, drop back onto you like a cowgirl riding a horse backward. You say, "Sorry, too hard."

I say, "You have to be careful. I'm really sensitive. Everywhere." You start rubbing my ass. I say "I like it if you finger me. But just a little. You can, you know, fuck me there if you want. I don't love it but I'll do it for you. Later, though, not today." You slide a finger up into my ass and I... coo for you. I'm hunched over and hump faster and faster and the friction on your cock is intense; I've got a finger inside your asshole, too, and you shoot cum all up into your own face as you orgasm intensely. I turn around, lay down on you, lick cum off your face and out of your hair. Your cum is sweet. It reminds me of the beach. And candy. And pineapple.

You say, "I love you. I'm sorry. I want you so much."

I say, "I love you, too. And you should be sorry."

And you say, "I want to make you cum. Show me how to do it."

And I say, "I won't always cum. It's OK if we have sex and I don't cum -- I still like it."

And you say, "I want to make you cum so... so I know I can... know how to do it."

I drop back on the bed, say, "We'll have to have a conversation about what I like to call the parts of my body. There are some words I do not use or like. I can be flexible, though, so if you're uncomfortable with a word we can find another word."

You say, "OK".

I say, "I like to call her my cock, but if you have trouble sucking on a cock you could call it a girldick."

You say, "Cock is fine."

I say, "Suck my cock, baby."

You suck my cock into your mouth; it's hot, slightly swollen, softish, longer than it looks. I say, "Now use lube and carefully put two fingers up my ass, pretty deep, with your palm up, and... yeah, like that... and feel for a little bump... that's it... oh yes, that's it, right there... just put a little pressure on it. Too much! Just a tiny... yeah... like that... press and release, press and... like that... OK, baby, that's the technique. It takes a while. I hope you like sucking cock as much as I do." You roll your eyes up to my face and I'm smiling down at you. You keep sucking my cock, and I say, "That's right, baby. Can you learn to love it?"

And you mumble, "I love it" around a mouthful of soft cock. And you keep sucking and sliding your fingers around and you ask, around a mouthful of cock, "Do... are you... going to get hard?"

I say, "I don't often get really hard. But you are doing good, and I am going to cum. Just keep doing that..."

And you watch my face and see me flush, all the way down my décolleté, and my cock gets a little bit stiffer on your tongue and you taste something liquid and salty but not a lot and it's not very sticky, and then my asshole is clamping down and my abs are flexing and relaxing and my nipples are hard and pointing. My eyes roll back and my back arches and then I relax and am still and say, "I just came... you... felt..."

You say, "I felt it. I tasted it, too."

I say, "It's always like that. Just a little bit." And I push your hand out of my ass and say "come up here and kiss me." And you do and I'm crying a little, but I say, "It's OK. I just cry sometimes, too. It's a happy cry. Just hold me. I'm happy."

You hold me and I'm snuggling into you, and your cock is rock hard again and I lube my hand and jerk you off against my thigh, then rub your cum into my skin and ask, "How many times are you going to be able to do that?"

And you say, "I... a lot more, I hope."

And I say, "I mean today, right now."

And you say, "I do too."

And I laugh and say, "You're going to be a lot of work, aren't you?"

And you lay there and talk and it's good. You ask me, "What, uh, do you call your... you know, your balls?"

And I say, "I am uncomfortable with that subject and I guess I just don't talk about them. But if you have to then... what do you call yours?"

You say, "I dunno... Junk?"

And I say, "You can call that my junk."

You say, "Do you want me to, like, touch or suck on your junk, ever?"

And I say, "We'll see. It usually doesn't do much for me. But if you like it, it'll be OK."

And you say, "Got it."

And so, life happens. Some of your buddies tell you to step off. Some of your buddies do a quick fade. Some of your buddies don't care. One of your buddies has too much to drink and while you're pissing next to him in some bar he confides "Knowing she has a girldick... it makes her even hotter."

And you say, "You're talking about my girlfriend."

And he says, "Yeah, and she's fucking hot."

And you say, "She is, but you don't get to talk like that."

My friends become your friends. Dana, flamboyantly bisexual, becomes one of your best drinking buddies. After too much to drink she'll confide in you, "You're a total fuck-up. But as total fuck-ups go, you're a good one." You think she means it as a compliment. Sometimes she tells you that you're almost like a real adult. You think she means it as a compliment. At first, she liked you because of me. Now, she likes you because of you.

And the days hand us off to the months and our lives zip together into one. After work you come back to me; after work I come back to you. Slowly, you find my body and learn it; slowly, I learn yours. There is nothing to it, this falling in deep love. It's as natural as drowning. As dangerous, too. The sex becomes as normal as breathing in the salt air on a cool sunset at the beach when fall is in the air. Yet it always ends in another spring season of wet heat and stained linen.

But most of all, you have me. And we are happy. And that's how you meet your trans girlfriend.