Hush

It was nearly sundown when Femt of all people approached me, and they looked very concerned.

"Where's Hush?"

I felt like my heart stopped beating.

"What do you mean? Didn't he return to camp?"

Their eyes widened. "No, he never did. I was so worried about him, but I had my work cut out for me all day tending to the wounded. I only just now had enough time to break away and ask you about this!"

I cursed. Hush must have gotten caught after he set the fire. My blood boiled at the thought of the baihu getting their claws into the wisp. Immediately I ran to where the soldiers originally stationed at camp were.

But what was even more worrying was that none of the baihu even knew what I was talking about. They never captured a young fae dressed in white.

Now I began to truly panic. Hush had disappeared and nobody had any idea where he went. I became frantic, running to find Quintus so he could hopefully help me with his tracking abilities.

We tried to trace Hush's steps, starting with the charred remains of the tent he had set ablaze. Quintus was able to pick up a faint scent and we followed the trail. If he didn't get captured in the enemy camp but never returned to Femt and the infirmary that meant something happened to him on his trip back. My mind was buzzing with all the horrible possibilities. Hush falling off a cliff. Hush getting mauled to death by some horrible mountain animal. Hush getting so lost we would never be able to find him no matter how long we looked.

Why was I thinking like this? What kind of heartless man was I where I could so casually brush off the deaths of my comrades as unfortunate sacrifices in the name of peace but fall apart at the seams over this wisp I had grown close to? I didn't understand my own feelings, but I knew that in all the confusion I had made a grave mistake and now I might lose Hush forever. For the first time in a long time, the sadness I was feeling made me cry. I felt so worthless.

At some point Quintus surprised me by stopping in his tracks. He turned to me with a worried look on his face.

"The trail stops here."

We looked around and it became clear why. This part of the trail was next to an icy ravine. Hush had fallen down. How far, we didn't know, but there was a point that if he had fallen far enough, he was gone.

Now in hysterics, I attached a rope to myself and began climbing down, Quintus tying the other end to a rock and holding the belay. I didn't notice how much my hands stung as I gripped the icy walls. I ignored the searing cold of the tears on my face. I needed to find Hush.

But it was getting dark. Hush was essentially invisible, and even if he was alive, he couldn't call for help.

This was my fault. If it weren't for me Hush would still be living safely in the woods.

At some point I began talking, for what reason, I wasn't sure.

"Hush, please just hold on. I'll find you, I promise. And after that, I'll make sure you're never in this kind of danger again. I don't care if that means I'm giving you special treatment. I want you to be safe. I want you to be happy. I want you to be at my side. I..."

I stopped my movement. At that moment, my heart opened up and told me the truth.

"I love you, Hush! I need you in my life! I've been such a fool to not realize this sooner! Please, Hush, I need to find you so I can make this up to you somehow!"

I started climbing even more desperately, tears pouring down my face.

"Hush, please let me show you how sorry I am! I need you to know how much I love you! I want to be there for you no matter what! You told me that you wanted to live with me, I'll take you with me wherever I go! I'll figure out a way for you to be with me in the barracks, and if they don't let you in, I'll just keep living at my house. With you!"

My hand slipped and I almost fell, but the rope caught me. Shaking from the strain, I recovered my grip on the side of the ravine wall.

"I don't want to live a life without you. I can't lose you now, not before I can show you how much you mean to me! And if you don't love me back, even if you hate me now..."

I sobbed.

"...that's alright. You don't have to love me back. You can find someone else. Or not! It doesn't matter, as long as you're happy. But that can't start until I find you again. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you, helping you live the life you deserve. Please, let me change for the better! I need to find you! I NEED TO SAVE YOU!!"

I lost my grip again and Quintus wasn't able to catch me in time. I fell down a moderate distance and felt my leg break on impact. I lay there, frozen, broken, and utterly defeated. I wailed in pain, tears freezing my cheeks. I felt myself give in to despair. I wanted to die.

But then...

Then I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Something so unusual, so beautiful, so miraculous, that I was sure I was just imagining it at first. But it wasn't my imagination. It was real.

Deeper in the ravine, I saw a glowing light. It started out dim, but kept getting brighter until it was like a blazing fire.

"Hush? Hush, is that you?"

I scrambled to my feet and looked down seeing the light not far beneath me. Ignoring my broken leg, I climbed down. It took time, it was hard, painful work, but at long last I made it. And what I found was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Hush was a beaming light, a creature made out of fire. But it wasn't the hot destructive fire of the drake. This fire was a soft yellow, glowing with comfort and warmth. I ran up and hugged him, not burning. His light healed my soul, giving me life.

"Hush, I found you! You're alive!" I hugged him even tighter. I looked right at him, not caring if the light blinded me.

Even though he was engulfed in magical flames, I saw his small body, his beautiful face. Hush was in my arms. We were together again.

I heard Quintus's voice, from what sounded like worlds away.

"CAPTAIN! WHAT'S HAPPENING? IS HUSH ALIVE?"

I smiled and yelled back at him.

"HUSH IS JUST FINE! AND I'LL BE ALRIGHT!"

"I'LL GO GET SOME HELP! STAY RIGHT THERE!"

I almost laughed. I couldn't move very far even if I wanted to.

"THANK YOU!"

Quintus left and I looked again at Hush in my arms. Now he was almost completely weightless. It was like he was a pure will-o'-the-wisp.

His mouth opened, but no sound came out.

"Hush, can you not make any noise like this?"

He tried to speak again, but he nodded when he realized he was silent.

I cupped his cheek.

"That's okay, Hush. You don't have to say a word right now. Just let me hold you. Let me be with you."

The wisp nodded again and leaned into me.

"I love you so much," I murmured.

After what could have been a few moments or an eternity, I heard Quintus return with a team. We were pulled up on ropes and got out of the chasm. I remember seeing Hush, looking so radiant and magical. Hush was alive. He was safe.

That was my last thought before everything went black.

*****

I awoke in my tent, with the familiar dull ache of knitting bones, but this time in my leg.

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was Hush, right beside me. He looked like he always had, no longer a glowing creature of fire. Slowly, I reached out and touched his face. He was real. He was with me.

"Hello, Captain," he whispered.

I pulled him close, hearing the faint bell on his wrist.

"You healed me again. Thank you."

I felt him shake in my arms, but when I looked I saw that he wasn't shivering. He was crying.

"What's wrong, Hush?"

He wiped a tear from his face.

"I was j-just so worried about you," he sniffled. "You got frostbite and mangled fingers and broke your leg. All t-to save me. I'm sorry."

I held his head in one hand and petted his hair.

"I would do that a thousand times over to find you, Hush. Gladly."

"So...it's true what you said to me? How y-you love me?"

I pulled back so I could look him right in the eye.

"I love you, Hush. I love you with all my heart."

He cried more and I shed a few tears of my own. It felt so right to have it open now. I loved Hush. I never wanted to let go of this feeling.

"You said it was alright if I d-didn't love you back, but...what if I love you, too?"

I smiled and held him even tighter.

"Then that would make me the happiest, luckiest man in the world."

He adjusted his position so we were face to face.

"I love you, Gerard."

I leaned in and kissed him. After a moment he kissed me back and we both drank in each other. I felt our love and devotion in that kiss. It was perfect.

I don't even know how long we stayed in that bed, holding and kissing each other, but eventually we were able to break apart and talk.

"I think I developed these feelings for you when we were living together in castle town," he told me. "I realized how much you meant to me. I wanted to be with you everywhere."

"I'm sorry I couldn't see that."

"No, I was trying to hide it from you. It was all so confusing. And then there was that night..."

I knew what he was talking about. That time he asked me why I treated him so gingerly compared to everyone else.

"I shouldn't have said what I said. I didn't understand my own feelings. You are my comrade, but it went deeper than that. I wanted to protect you."

The wisp nodded.

"It was on my mind when I escaped Gleydor's camp. I was distracted on the trail back and fell down that hole. I didn't get injured, but I wasn't strong enough to climb out."

My heart broke at the thought of my Hush so afraid, so alone.

"Part of me was certain I was going to die. I wanted to take off that enchanted armor. Freezing to death would at least be a quicker way out than dying from thirst or hunger. But something told me to hold on and wait."

I kissed his forehead.

"When you finally arrived, I was so relieved. I tried calling out to you, but you couldn't hear me. You were so close, but still felt so far away. But...then you said how much you loved me."

He started to cry again and I wiped a tear off his cheek.

"I had spent years feeling alone. Feeling like I was too small and feeble for anyone to want me. But you saw a potential in me I couldn't even see in myself. You became my family. And when you said those things to me, I felt so warm on the inside."

He smiled, his red eyes glimmering.

"I can't tell you what happened back there. I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again, but at that moment the most important thing in my life was helping you find me, showing you that I was alive and heard what you said."

He kissed my cheek.

"Thank you for risking everything to save me."

"And thank you for being my light in the dark."

After some more kissing I carefully got to my feet, making sure not to put too much weight on my healing leg.

"I'm sorry to leave like this, but I have a job to do right now. We can continue this tonight."

Hush grinned and sat up straighter, more at attention.

"Yes, Captain."

*****

I had a lot of people to talk to for the rest of the day. I apologized to my friends in the battalion for doing something reckless and making them worry about me yet again. I went to Femt and thanked them for working so hard to help the wounded while Hush was missing. I asked Ronin how things were going between the two warring countries and she told me that the Techil and Gleydor leaders were going to meet up soon to possibly an alliance, or at least stop the war between them.

And I went to the graves of the fallen. My comrades in the Peregrine Battalion. My allies from Techil. Even my former enemies from Gleydor. I thanked them all for their sacrifices, told them how their heroism and strength will live on forever.

The Peregrine Battalion was set to leave the following morning, with two new recruits: Graphire the drake, who had become fast friends with Ruelle, and Ifrit the baihu. She was the guard in front of the general's tent that I almost died trying to overpower. There was no resentment in her heart towards me. She wanted to learn from me and become a stronger warrior.

I hugged both of them.

"Welcome to the battalion, my new brother and sister."

Jacqueline had actually commented on a change in demeanor from me. Apparently I was now smiling more often and more outward with my feelings, hugging and showing gratitude to my comrades openly. She said it was a nice change.

I was sure it was because of my new love with Hush. I had no idea love could be so powerful. It made me want to be a better person.

Our love had become a force in my life, and I couldn't be more thankful.

*****

That night, I returned to my tent, though at this point it was our tent, and could tell with one look that Hush had the same idea I did. I gave him a kiss before leaving to get something. When I returned Hush was nude, his body on full display in front of me.

I felt a stirring in my loins and I approached, hugging my wisp. I stroked his soft skin before I realized something.

"Wait, aren't you cold?"

The boy grinned. "It's a little odd. Ever since I did that thing when you saved me, I haven't been as cold anymore. It's like my body has an internal heat it didn't before."

I remembered how the drake said fire flowed through their veins.

"That's wonderful, Hush."

"I am still a little cold, though," he admitted. "Would you mind coming closer to warm me up?"

"It would be my pleasure, but I'm not dressed properly."

The wisp sat back on the bed and watched me disrobe.

I saw a hunger and lust in Hush's eyes I had never seen before. I thought back to the similarities between him and a white rabbit. Tonight the rabbit was in heat.

I was now naked, my muscled and hairy body proudly shown to my love. I raised my arms up and turned around in place.

"Do you like what you see, little rabbit?"

"I...I do, Gerard. I've never felt like this before."

"It's okay, Hush. What you're feeling right now is perfectly natural. I'll be here with you every step of the way."

He nodded and sat back. I took the opportunity to pounce, pinning him down on the bed by his wrists. His eyes were wide, surprised, but not frightened.

I kissed the tip of his nose.

"You're beautiful, my boy."

I used my mouth and hands to roam around his body, wanting to know every corner of him. He appeared hairless, but in reality his body hair was so fine and transparent it looked invisible. It was certainly a stark contrast to the thick hair that covered so much of my skin. His whole body was soft. Delicate, but not fragile. He was perfect.

"Hush, will you let me mate with you?"

He nodded. "Please, I need it!"

I smiled at his eagerness and stood up to get the item I originally left the tent to retrieve. It was a small pouch of oil. Normally I applied this oil on my skin before long days of training, so I could move freely and not chafe against stiff armor. But that wasn't all I used it for.

Unlike Hush, I was no stranger to lovemaking. Sometimes, between missions, I would go to the tavern and meet young women. Once it was clear we were both there for the same reason, we would go somewhere private and mate, though I never impregnated any of my conquests. This oil was useful as a lubricant, and I always wanted to please any woman I was with.

I was aware that there were a good number of men out there that preferred other men, and in my years as a warrior I had befriended and coexisted with a few, though I never saw the appeal. But with Hush it was different. I wanted him in a way I had never before wanted anybody.

I applied some oil to my chest, making my skin glow softly in the dim light. Hush got that lustful look in his eyes. He looked one step away from thumping his foot and begging to be bred.

We kissed before I gently turned him over on his stomach, exposing his round, feminine buttocks. I held them and each one fit in my hand perfectly. I kissed his tiny little entrance and he twitched slightly.

Using a generous amount of oil I massaged around the wrinkled little knot, gently stroking it with my fingers and my tongue. I could feel him breathe heavily.

"How does this feel, my rabbit?"

"It's strange, but good. I'm liking it more and more!"

After some further teasing I could tell that Hush was ready for more, so I poked my fingers inside of him and he let out a quiet little yelp.

"Does that hurt?"

"No, I just wasn't expecting that."

I massaged his insides with one finger, then two. He spoke up after a bit.

"Gerard, can you angle your finger a little differently?"

I adjusted my hand and stroked again. He moaned.

"That feels so good!"

It appeared I had found his pleasure point. Now I wanted to breed him good and proper.

Once I pulled back my hand I flipped Hush over so I could see his gorgeous face. I kissed his lips deeply.

"Hush, do you trust me?"

"More than anything."

I soaked my rod in oil and pushed his legs back, revealing his little hole.

"I love you."

With that, I pushed forward and entered him. It didn't fit at first, but the oil helped me slip in, penetrating his body.

I moved slowly, sensually, making sure to hit the spot that he loved so much. I was completely lost in the sensation by the time he spoke up.

"Could you move faster, please?"

That was not a request I was expecting.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't. I already said I trust you."

I sped up, and the change in pace awakened some kind of animalistic desire within. I began moving not just faster, but harder as well. He even moved with me, our bodies in sync.

We were doing what we were meant to be doing. Our bodies were created to join like this. I kissed him again, now hungrily sucking and biting.

Hush was the first to find release. His back arched and he pulsed, seed pouring out of him. His facial expression was that of pure joy.

The sight of it, the thought that I was able to bring him such pleasure, was enough to push me over the edge as well. I growled like a feral beast and bred my love for all he was worth. By the end of it both of us were winded and panting.

We held each other, basking in the warm glow of our love.

That night, the two of us slept soundly, knowing that we were with the man we wanted to be with for the rest of our lives.

*****

I woke up right around sunrise. All days started early in the knight's barracks.

I nudged the wisp sleeping in my arms until he was awake, too.

"Good morning, Hush. It's time to train."

"Can't we just stay here for a little bit longer?" he whispered.

"No. We can't." I kissed his lips before getting us both out of bed.

It had been two moons since our offensive in Techil. We both now lived happily among the knights, even though he was technically a commoner.

The two of us trained every day. I would work to get stronger and better in combat. Hush trained right alongside me, but would sometimes go off to practice his stealth techniques. As tiring as all the training was, I knew Hush was grateful for it. He became stronger, faster. He wasn't the weak little fae he was when we first met.

I had changed, too. I was happier. Every day I had something to look forward to, someone who would be there for me, on and off the battlefield.

Hush was always so kind, so caring. It made me want to help others, display the compassion I loved so much in him. He admired my courage and strength, and wanted to better himself because of it. Both of us gave the other some sort of guide, an ideal to strive for. It was like Hush was a star in the sky, forever pointing me in the direction I needed to go.

That was the best part of having Hush in my life. My battalion was my family. I loved each and every one of them. But Hush was different. He was always at my side, always supporting me. And I did the same for him.