I Am Jack's Life Ch. 05

In all fairness, Todd and I actually started getting along after incident with Anna. Not so much with his friends, but they treated me well enough. At the very least they stopped treating me like a peon. But Todd though, he was dating Beth again, and Beth was being sickeningly nice to me once more. So between Kimmy, pressure from Beth, and the fact I was generally accepted by the rest of the popular clique by then, he started actually talking to me.

The funny part, is I actually started talking back.

I guess at some point you have to forgive someone for being a stupid asshole, or you just can't move on; so I quietly forgave Todd, I guess. Besides, he was also treating Beth pretty well. They acted happy together at least. So by the time the first semester of our senior year was in the bag, Todd was the sixth member of our five person gang. He hung out with us, not as much as he did with his buddies I think, but enough that I stopped blanching at his presence and got used to having him around.

Truth be told, I was kind of glad to have another guy around.

He was a man's man too. Fully machismo and oozing testosterone, he was a surprisingly welcome balance to the presence of four girls and their auras of estrogen. He was crude a lot of the time, but crude in a guy way I kind of missed, without being actually offensive to the girls. (Though they often pretended to be, enough to hit him playfully in the shoulder at least.)

I give this to the guy, he was Mr. Charisma. He had a way of getting under your skin and being likable even when he had previously been the anathema of your existence for seven years prior.

Maybe I was growing up too.

I won't pretend we were best friends or anything, but alright, I got used to the guy. And in getting used to him, I grew to kind of like him. He was the guy I was cheering for when we went to basketball games, or wrestling meets. Beth dragged us along. Besides, it was a senior school spirit thing. I was dating one of the cheerleaders, so school spirit was unavoidable. When a D in algebra threatened his academic eligibility for basketball, Beth suggested I tutor him; to my surprise - and his I think - I agreed.

#

I know a lot of kids who sort of slack off their senior year, especially the last term.

I wasn't one of them.

A full load of advanced placement classes, tutoring Kimmy full time, and Beth and Todd in a couple of classes, going to basketball games, hanging out with my friends, going to parties, and of course, having sex with Kimmy every moment we could steal alone; I was running ragged. By the end of February I was averaging probably four hours of sleep a night, sometimes less. I was in a constant state of exhaustion. If I stopped moving I started to doze off. It took a couple of lattes to get me through the school day, and a couple more No Doze to get through studying and tutoring. I once saw a saying posted on the wall of my college dorm; 'Grades, Social Life, and Sleep: Pick Two'. It's so true.

Also, I was still in the running for Valedictorian.

It was down to Tommy, Christina Wu - Tommy's girlfriend, and myself.

Of the three of us, only Tommy and I were really in the running, because Christina had taken a couple of skate courses her sophomore year, and our principal weighed class difficulty in the case of ties. So assuming we all finished with a 4.0 GPA, Tommy and I had the better class load

I hadn't really spoken to Tommy much in the last year. When I'd become friends with Beth and the gang, I'd let myself drift apart from Tommy and those guys, the Scholars and C&C crew. I hadn't even been in C&C for almost a year, and the last time had been to sell Elliot a bunch of my old Spider-mans. I forgot what I'd used the money for. A shirt and some pants that Beth had liked I think. They didn't fit me anymore.

By some twist of fate, it was at the ticket sales table for Prom that I ran into Tommy again. Even though we were both in all advanced placement classes, we'd basically reverse ordered them, so the classes I took last semester, he was taking now, and vice versa. I still saw him around school in the halls and stuff, but we didn't even nod hello any more.

I was in kind of a rush, like I always was really. I needed about twenty two hours a day to get everything done I wanted too, but was unable to make due on just two hours of sleep, so I had to rush everywhere to find the two extra hours I needed for sleep. So I ran up toward the end of lunch to get in the line for tickets and stumbled a bit into the person in front of me. It was Tommy.

"Oh sorry... ah, Hey Tommy," I said as I recognized the person who I'd shouldered into.

"Hey Jack," he said indifferently. I think it was the apathy in his tone that stung and brought out the guilt.

He was wearing the same style of loose tee shirt and baggy jeans he'd been wearing when we were freshman. They fit him poorly and I could see burrito grease stains on the bottom hem of his shirt. He'd let his hair grow out and get shaggy, and he had a day's stubble on his cheeks and neck. After two and half years of hanging out with the image and fashion conscious crew I had been, I noticed this stuff. I couldn't help but notice. And judge, to my distaste, I judged.

I myself was dressed pretty well, I had a fashionable button down shirt on, and some kakis, my hair was trimmed pretty short and well groomed in a stylish manner. I still didn't need to shave much, so I had no visible stubble, and I had about two inches of height on him, but he had probably fifty pounds on me. It wasn't muscle either.

I caught myself thinking that he was still kind of a slob, and should take care of himself better. That he didn't look like valedictorian, he looked like underclassman slouch. Then I remembered that this was Tommy Johnston, his parents were not all that well off, and his dad was kind of a jerk about spending money on new stuff for his kids, and that he had three little brothers that were always getting into his stuff.

But I still found myself wondering how he'd gotten a girlfriend. Christina Wu was not exactly super model material, but she was thin, and cute enough I guess. She was always immaculately dressed and was the picture of organization. Kind of a stereotype I guess, but she fit it well.

I felt bad for judging him. I guess it showed on my face because he started to turn around again.

I decided to try and talk to him. Hey, he'd been my best friend from 4^th grade until our freshman year, the least I could do was hello.

"So, uh, how's it going?"

He shrugged, "Alright."

"So, senior prom huh. Finally. Almost done with this Popsicle stand," I said, forcing some lightness in my tone.

"Yeah, can't wait. I fucking hate this place," he said with a lot more venom in his voice than I remembered

"So, uh, going with Christina right?" I offered, trying to change the subject. Every guy liked to have his girlfriend brought up right?

He shook his head. "We broke up over the summer."

Crap. "Sorry to hear that man."

He shrugged again, "She dumped me for some other chink guy, Yinn."

I frowned, that was awfully damn racist. I didn't remember that about him.

"Yinn? Alex Yinn?" I asked. Alex was a nice guy. And he wasn't Chinese, he was Korean. I knew because he was on the baseball team, and Kimmy loved baseball, so she was friends with a lot of the players. I'd met and hung out with Alex a couple of times at parties. Like I said, nice guy.

"Yeah." he said simply.

"So, who are you going with?"

"Ellen Sanders."

I somehow managed not to make a face. Ellen was in band, and no one would accidentally call her pretty. She was about sixty pounds overweight, and had an acne problem. I won't repeat the names a lot of the people I hung out with had for her, but I'm ashamed to admit they crossed my mind.

"Cool, she's nice."

He frowned at me, like he was suspicious of my statement. He was probably right to be so, but I kept my face neutral.

"You?" he asked after a second.

I couldn't help but smile, "Kim Allison." Hey, I was proud of my girlfriend.

He raised his eyebrows slightly. I could tell he was impressed, but he didn't want to admit it. That kind of pissed me off. Two and a half years ago he'd been high fiving me in the halls because I was going to tutor Beth Jenkins. Now I was going to senior prom with Kim Allison, the exceptionally hot cheerleader, easily one of the sexiest girls in school and all I got was raised eyebrows and naked jealousy.

He was jealous. In a bitter way, not a mildly envious of your friend's good fortune way.

Well fuck him, I'd earned my place where I was. It wasn't my fault if he couldn't be bothered to clean up and take care of himself long enough to get a decent girlfriend.

Holy hell, had I just thought that?

I was saved from further troubling thoughts by Todd coming up to me and interrupting

He slid up next to me, cutting ahead of probably a dozen other people at this point. But no one said anything, because he was Todd Smith, captain of the wrestling team, starting point guard for the basketball team that was taking us to finals.

"Hey dude," he grinned at me.

"'Sup." I replied. I was used to Todd. Heck, we were almost friends really.

"Think if I gave you the money you could pick up tickets for Beth and me? I gotta run," he asked. He was actually asking. Not demanding; not asking in a way that said he was going to dumpster me if I said no. I had his respect.

"You haven't gotten them yet?" I smirked, "You told Beth today at lunch you'd picked them up yesterday when she asked."

He chuckled, "Welllll what Beth doesn't know isn't going her hurt her, am I right bro?"

I just shook my head and chuckled. It was typical of him really. I'd gotten to know him well enough to know that he hadn't lied to Beth out of maliciousness, he was just terrible about remembering to do things, and he'd been put on the spot by his girlfriend.

"Sure man," I said with a grin. I dunno why I did. Maybe it made it seem more like we were friends. Why was I acting like this?

He pumped his fist down a little, "Yesss, you are a life saver bro. I gotta dash." He pulled out his wallet and passed over two twenties. Doubles tickets were thirty five bucks, a single was twenty.

I took his money and put it in my wallet.

He gave me his trademark bro fist slap, which I had down by now, and he dashed off.

I looked up from putting my wallet back in my pocket and Tommy was staring at me like I was a total stranger.

"What?" I asked.

"You're friends with Todd Smith now?" he asked, more than a little bitterness in his voice.

Tommy knew about the Dumpster incident. He was the only one besides me who did. Well, Todd and his friends knew of course, but I hadn't told anyone else.

I shrugged, "He's dating Beth, I'm friends with Beth. We hang out sometimes. I'm tutoring him in Algebra too." I added, because, I don't know, I felt like I needed to justify my acceptance of Todd with something else. Maybe I wanted to demonstrate I had power over him, maybe I just wanted more social status. Todd Smith was an athletic god around campus. He was captain of the wrestling team, point guard for the basketball team that was about to go to state, and dating the hottest girl in the county.

And I was his math tutor.

I guess.

Even twenty years later it sounds lame. But what can you do?

Tommy looked at me in obvious disgust and turned back around to wait in line in silence.

During the next ten minutes, three more people came up and said hi to me in line. Two girls, one of them a cheerleader, came up and gave me hello hugs; both asked if I was going with Kimmy. I said yes of course. I swear one of them looked disappointed. Matt Ethan, one of the basketball starters and probable prom king just gave me a bro fist slap on his way past the line.

No one said anything to Tommy, or even acknowledged his presence.

When they asked him for his money, I noticed he only gave them a twenty.

All this because I answered the phone two and a half years ago.

Maybe. I just don't know. Maybe I'd have become popular anyway. Maybe I'd have found a way out of the quagmire of nerdom and being beat down by bullies. Maybe I'd have broken free of the mold I'd been cast in all on my own.

Maybe I'd have been just as alone and bitter as Tommy.