I Am Not A Wimp Pt. 01

I bought some groceries in town and settled in to the cottage. I was hoping that the beauty and the tranquility of the place would help ease the pain. Over the following two days I began to appreciate what kind of anguish my father might have been going through. I periodically checked my regular mobile and found 2 or 3 messages each day, all from Jenny.

I am not a wimp and I'm not going to turn into one so I deleted them without listening to any of them.

On my third day at the cabin, Rob called on my new mobile. After asking how and where I was, he told me he had important information and wanted to see me. I love Rob but I could see he was caught in a squeeze between his sister and me so I said we would have to just talk as I was still on the move.

He went on to tell me that he had very carefully reviewed all the FBI surveillance reports on Jerry Craig and it was clear from all of them that although Jenny had been with him at the lunch hours and at the Havercroft they had parted company after each meeting without going to any place where they might have indulged in a sexual affair. The reports accounted for all of Jenny's time.

I am not a wimp. At best, she was dating the guy and all we did was get there before they got to fucking each other, otherwise, what was she doing with him in the first place?

Rob then asked if I would at least speak to her. I wasn't about to tell him where I was and I hated to tell him no, so I undertook to call at 8:00 that night, but only to talk to Jenny.

That afternoon a courier arrived with my copy of the divorce petition. It was pretty simple. Our pre-nup said that most everything was Jenny's and I had already taken my personal stuff. All we really needed was a formal dissolution to the marriage.

Other than my description of the events, I had not thought about it nor given Reg any directions about the petition and I was concerned that it stated that the grounds were Jenny's "adultery".

I just wanted to end it, not get revenge. The 5 years with her were the best 5 of my life and I wanted to recognize that in the petition. I called Reg's office but it was closed for the day.

That evening, as promised I called and Jenny answered. I wasn't sure what to expect but Jenny took immediate charge of the conversation.

"Ted, your avoidance of me has made it very difficult to get this matter resolved. There really is very little to it but I'm not trying to minimize how it must look to you. Rob and Diane have told me everything and it is obvious I allowed matters to look a great deal different than they were. For that I am truly sorry. I can see that you are hurt and embarrassed by what I did. Please know that I never meant to hurt or embarrass you. I was trying to find a way to attract your attention. I'm sorry Ted. Please believe me.

I need you to know above all else that I never even came close to fucking Jerry Craig. Please call Reg Westin, stop this process and come home. Please give me a chance to make up for the pain I've caused you."

My emotions were mixed!

I could feel joy encroaching on my mind. I could see my love for Jenny soar when she said she hadn't fucked Craig and I almost jumped for joy when I finally realized that that would have been what my Dad did. I remember his absolute joy when he and Janice made up and then I remembered his devastation as he repeatedly allowed her to come back into his life only to hurt him again.

"Jenny I'm far too upset to come home or even to continue this conversation just now. I will need some more time to get my thoughts together so please leave me alone. I will however, call Reg Westin first thing in the morning and about that divorce petition. I'll be in touch as soon as I can get my own emotions under control."

"Ted, please come home. We can work this out together. Believe me, at worst it was just a harmless flirtation to mislead him into thinking I was interested. I love you and I want to be with you."

"I'll call when I can. " I said as I closed the connection knowing I had just wimped out. I really wanted to rant at her. "Just a harmless flirtation" in my pain and anguish it sounded all too much like Janice and "Just harmless sex . . . ."

Well if it was that important to her I could accommodate her and would and, true to my word, I called Reg Westin the next morning.

Chapter 5 - Jenny:

I had mixed emotions about my conversation with Ted. Most importantly, he agreed to call the lawyer and put a halt to these divorce proceedings. I feel terrible to have hurt him so badly that he would go that far and I wanted to do what I could to make it up to him.

I never intended to have an affair. I never even came close. I just wanted to spark some jealousy in my husband and regain the close loving relationship we got into the last time he saw me with Jerry Craig. Never in a thousand years did I want to hurt or embarrass him, yet that is just what I did do.

As I wasn't really doing anything wrong with him, other than keeping it from my husband at the time and as I somehow thought I might have him see that Jerry was interested in me to conjure up more interest on his part, I really didn't try to hide the relationship except to behave with some dignity around my own staff and see Jerry away from my office and Ted's. It never occurred to me that word would get back to Ted from those other people. I knew Jerry was an SOB and I suppose I should have guessed he would do something stupid. I never thought he would lie so blatantly.

To have been watched by the FBI is so humiliating to me.

What must Ted feel?

I wanted desperately to have him come home so we could start the process of rebuilding our relationship but he said he wasn't ready yet. As much as it pains me, I have to give him the space to do it.

The following afternoon a courier dropped off an envelope from the lawyer's office. That one positive step toward reconciliation greatly improved my mood and I felt much more confident that we would get past all this.

That mood was shattered when I opened the envelope and read the petition inside. It was identical to the original except that the reason for the petition was changed from "adultery" to "irreconcilable differences".

Ted was still proceeding with the divorce.

I don't know how long it was before I regained my senses and called Rob. He and Diane came over almost immediately.

Chapter 6 - Ted:

I had intended to have Reg change the petition. I had no intention of making Jenny out to be an adulterous slut. I just wanted to end this so I could start to recover from the pain and go on with my life and most of all, not be a wimp like my Dad.

I had taken to walking through the woods around the cabin looking to get back to things that would give me some comfort but this was turning out to be a bad idea. I found myself hurting all over again that these would not be things I would be sharing with Jenny as I originally intended.

I was getting worse, not better and I knew I needed to do something different.

On my third evening there as I sat in front of the fireplace, once again deep in thought about how nice it would have been to have Jenny here with me, I was surprised and mildly alarmed to hear a vehicle drive up to the cabin. I was at the end of a long lane, clearly marked "Private" and incidental traffic shouldn't be here.

I don't know if I was concerned or relieved when I saw Rob's SUV park in the drive behind my truck.

Given my current relationship with Jenny, Rob is now my best friend so I went out and welcomed him with a hug and an invitation to come in. At first he seemed ill at ease and I assumed it was because he loved both of us and was hurting as well but being the straight forward guy he was, once he was settled in with a beer in hand he got right to the point.

"Ted, I want to talk about you and Jenny. I want you to know that I'm hurt and embarrassed by what she did both as her brother and your friend. She hurt and embarrassed you and I don't expect you to ignore that. Having said that, I need you to know that after Diane and I spoke with her at length and after I reviewed each and every pertinent FBI surveillance report, I am convinced that not only did she not have any sort of affair with Craig, I believe she mistakenly thought she might be doing something to improve things between the two of you.

She had no idea about this cottage Ted. As you well know, she thought you had gone back to your old "all work and no play" schedule and she thought she was going to attract your attention back to the marriage. It was stupid I know and it hurt and embarrassed you.

Hell, it hurt and embarrassed me and I can only imagine what you feel, but I believe she sees how nuts all that was. She loves you Ted and she wants you to come home. I know from our time together building this place, how much you love her.

I'm urging you to come home, work with her to get past all this and let her try to make it up to you. Believe me, I care too much for you to ask you to do that if I didn't really believe it was best for you."

I should have been better prepared for this. Janice used the same ploy. She would have her sister, or some other friend, come to Dad and convince him that it would be best to forgive and forget.

"Rob, I couldn't love you more if you were my own brother but I think you are speaking as Jenny's brother and not my friend. I'm not about to subject myself to repeated abuse of our marriage. What she has already done has hurt too much."

Over the following 50 or 60 minutes the conversation continued in this vein until Rob made his final comment before leaving for home.

What he said shook me to the core.

"Ted, you are my best friend and I, like you, couldn't love you more if you were my own brother. I have admired and respected you for quite some time. I watched you stare down a huge client, showing the guts to stand by your principles even if it meant a huge financial loss. Your courage has been a major factor in the huge success of your business . . . but . . . to see you deal the way you have with a woman who loves you unconditionally and one whom you love to the extent of risking all to make her dream come true, all over not wanting to take a chance on her possibly hurting your feelings again some time in the future, . . . well Ted I can only say that in this matter, . . . you're a wimp!"