I Didn't Text Him...Vodka Did Ch. 3

Lucas disappeared, returning just as my dress floated down to pool at my feet, a bottle of mouthwash in hand. Just like he had before, only back then it had been a bag filled with shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, and perfume, all in the brands and scents I used.

Then he'd blushed and explained that he needed me to smell like me after we showered, tonight he was quiet. Without taking his eyes off of me, Lucas reached over and pulled a toothbrush out of the holder by the sink. It hit me then, everything was still the same. That was my toothbrush.

The small pink bottle of perfume on the counter was the same one he'd given me for our third Christmas. My shampoo and conditioner were in the same place they'd always sat, and the blue kimono style robe hanging on the back of the door had been my first anniversary present. He hadn't changed anything in all this time.

Looking back I found him still watching me, the hurt in his eyes shining more clearly now. I had a dozen questions I wanted to ask, but the words couldn't seem to make it past that lump in my throat. With hands that shook as badly as they had that first night I reached up to take off my bra then my panties.

This time I didn't close my eyes or cover myself in embarrassment, I had grown accustomed to feeling exposed and vulnerable with him. Lucas liked to watch me, it had been his favourite pastime once upon a time. So when his hungry eyes raked their way down my body, every ounce of me quivered with delighted anticipation.

I was aching for him to touch me, but he didn't. Without meeting my gaze or tearing his from my body, Lucas leaned into the shower and turned it on. When the temperature felt right he motioned for me to get in, just like that first night.

Only now he wasn't leaning against the sink, arms crossed, watching me with what looked like tortured desire. Tonight he looked angry, putting down the bottle and toothbrush long enough to pull off his clothes, Lucas watched me furiously scrubbing with the loofah.

"Trying to clean me off of you?" He grumbled, I turned away when he stepped into the shower. Choosing to close my eyes and face the wall instead of watching the water trail down his body. I wanted to touch him, I wanted to kiss every inch of his skin but I knew he'd never let me now. Fighting back my tears, I just scrubbed harder, it wasn't him I was trying to rid myself of. I just needed to be clean for him.

I washed with the same attention that he did, it was second nature after all these years. After a few minutes he pulled the loofah out of my hands and replaced it with my toothbrush. "Here," he said in a voice rough with something I couldn't quite name.

I brushed my teeth and then gargled with mouthwash when he handed me that. The next thing I knew, there was a hand on my head, slowly pushing me to my knees. My heart ached but in that bitter sweet way and I welcomed him into my mouth with a soft moan.

His fingers wove into my hair and clenched as my tongue ran up the underside of his shaft. Lucas tasted better than I remembered, I eagerly took him deeper and deeper, desperate to make him forget. He couldn't forget though, every once in awhile I would feel him shudder and hear his small groan of frustration.

Each time I felt the tears surge to the surface and tried to pull away. Each time his hands would tighten in my hair and holding me in place, Lucas would get a little more rough. Thrusting deeper, fucking my mouth a little harder, until that last time when he held me still so his cum could coat the inside of my mouth.

I hate swallowing, it's never nice, the texture, the taste, the warmth it all combines to make me gag, and not in the good way, but I did it anyway. Knowing that he needed to erase the memory of that stranger, I swallowed everything he gave me. Praying it would be enough.

When he pulled me to my feet, Lucas growled at me to, "Turn and face the wall." I'd half expected him to make me brush my teeth again but he didn't. Instead he leaned in and pushed my hair to the side. "Hands on the wall kitten," he whispered in my ear.

I shivered but obeyed, closing my eyes as he took his time washing my hair, then conditioning it. My head dropped forward to rest against the cool tile as his hands slid the bar of soap over every inch of my skin. Lucas pulled away long enough to bring the removable showerhead closer and it's spray followed his hand as he explored every inch of me.

My moan of pleasure rang out echoing out a little too loudly in the small bathroom when both found their way between my legs. I arched against him, my head falling back to rest on his shoulders when he parted my lips and directed the spray on my most sensitive area.

His growl answered the call of my body and I marvelled at the hardening of his cock as it nestled its way between my thighs. How was that even possible when he'd already cum twice? For whatever the reason that didn't seem to matter, it was like he was determined to make up for lost time.

"You missed this," he whispered in my ear. He was right, my body was in tune with him on an almost cellular level. My nipples throbbed in the most intense and lustful way when a hand brushed against them. Lucas cupped my breast and thrust his cock between my thighs and along my core again. I shuddered with need.

The spray suddenly left me and there was a cry from my lips at the loss of sensation. Lucas kissed the side of my neck and quickly replaced it with a hand. I was oblivious to the cooling water, I didn't care that goosebumps were forming along every inch of bare skin, or that my nipples were almost painfully cold. All that mattered was the precipice he was pushing me towards with every stroke of his finger on my clit.

"Please," I begged, angling my body in a shameless attempt to bring his throbbing cock inside me.

"Please what?" He asked, sliding his delicious length along my now soaking slit. "What do you want Addie? Tell me what you need and I'll give it to you."

I moaned, but held still while he thrust against me over and over. One hand moved to brace himself on the wall, the other continued his attack on my clit. He seemed to be content to just rock against me, meanwhile I was standing there shaking with an almost uncontrollable need.

"You know what I want," I gasped when he scraped his teeth over my skin.

"But I need to hear it, and you like to tell me." He held out on me, playing my body like it was an instrument and he was a musical prodigy. Intuitively knowing just where to touch and when, pulling the most beautiful sounds of need from my lips.

I held out too, there was this energy between us. Caused by too much history to just instantly get back to where we had been, and while he was pushing me to cave and to expose myself to him. Deep down I was reveling in the torture of hanging on the ledge between madness and release.

He knew it too. Lucas could always read me like a book, he knew exactly what I needed to push me over the edge. He also knew just how much I liked moments lIke this to last. So, he kept up the same maddening pace until I couldn't do it any longer and the words burst from my lips.

"For god's sake just fuck me already!" I all but bellowed in frustration. There was a moment when all I could hear was the falling water bouncing off the tile, then a loud slap startled me and pain exploded across the side of my ass.

"Wrong answer," he growled fiercely in my ear. "You know better than that." His rocking never slowed but the fingers mercilessly circling my clit became angry and unforgiving. "Be careful how you speak to me or I'll just make you cum without it."

I sobbed with need and pushed to get free of his grasp, he just latched onto my hip and ground against me even harder. My nails scraped against the tile and Lucas mimicked the action on my thigh making me shiver with pleasure as his nails dug into my skin.

"I'm sorry," My gasping reply was equal parts arousal, regret, and desperation. "I just need you so much it's been so long."

"Why did you wait so long then?" He whispered, "I've been here waiting for you." My body throbbed when he said that. I was aching for him to keep giving me what I needed, because yes I needed this torture just as much as I needed the pleasure he would give me soon.

There was no lying, there was nothing to do but close my eyes be honest. "I'm weak, just like you said."

One of his hands tensed on my hip, the other pressed a little harder on my aching clit drawing a quiet scream from my lips. I felt my knees wobble and so did he, wrapping an arm around my waist Lucas positioned himself at the throbbing opening to my sex.

I was so close to the edge it was uncomfortable and I found myself writhing between his burning heat and the cold tile. "Please let me feel you inside me," I moaned, trying to push back and force him inside my weeping body. "Please bite me, I need to feel it again, even if it's the last time."

Those last words were nothing but a whisper, my greatest fear spoken aloud. That maybe he was holding back because this was secretly just his form of revenge and tomorrow he'd kick me out and I'd never see him again. I never meant to say it, I was just so far past any semblance of control that it had just slipped out.

There was only the slightest tensing of his body around me before he let his mouth drop to my shoulder and murmured, "Ask me properly Kitten," against my skin. My heart ached when I heard his name for me, I needed to hear that too.

"Daddy," I gasped feeling him give that skin a gentle nip in unspoken reward for doing as I was told. "Daddy please let me feel your cock inside me," it ended in a moan of delight as he sheathed himself inside me without a second more of hesitation. My body quivered and shook as my sex throbbed around him pushing us both further towards inanity.

He groaned into the crook of my neck and struggling to hold himself still inside me. "Good girl, how does that feel?"

"So good," I sobbed into the tile. "Oh god, please don't stop. Daddy, you feel so good."

Every time I called him that name, his cock twitched inside me and my body milked him in response. Another series of gentle nips trailed up to my ear and I shivered when his lips pressed against it. "What else baby? What else do you need?"

"I need your mark," I answered, "I want to feel it when you cum inside me." He stilled and I held my breath. We hadn't talked about this yet. This new habit he had for slipping inside me without protection. I hadn't told him yet that I liked it, but maybe I didn't need to. Just the thought of him cumming inside me was pushing me closer to orgasm, my hungry pussy clung to him over and over begging for it.

"Dirty girl," he growled in pleasure. "That's it, milk my fucking cock." Eventually he started moving again, pinning me to the wall and driving us both to madness. "You dirty fucking cum slut."

My heart seized and a strangled sob got caught in my throat at his words. Lucas heard all the things I didn't say with it and quickly changed tactics. With a kiss he gently bit the skin on the back of my neck, just hard enough to turn my sob into a moan.

"I love how hungry you are for me baby. I love how your body keeps begging me for more. You do still want more don't you?" I nodded my reply and was rewarded with a nip at my ear. "Good girl, you're going to want more long after tonight aren't you?"

"Yes," I gasped without hesitation. "Always."

His cock twitched again. "I'm going to cum inside you again," he promised me, "and don't think I've forgotten what time of the month it is baby. Tell me, did you ever find a birth control that didn't fuck with your anxiety?"

The sounds he was pulling from me were almost possessed, but still he dragged it on. Whispering in my ear all the things he was looking forward to doing now that I was home. Then finally his thrusts became short and erratic, my body throbbed as I anticipated my reward.

"Please," I begged.

"Yes bitch," he growled in reply, moving his mouth to the back of my neck, "beg for it."

"Please fill me," I cried, "mark me." Each thrust now slammed me into the wall. My back was arched at a painful angle and my legs were unsteady and shaking. I was starting to think I was at that point where I was too far gone to cum, And cried at that awful thought. "I can't...I need...oh god, Lucas please."

A sharp, blinding pain consumed me seconds before I shattered and fell in oblivion. Lucas gave a yell and thrust one more time until he was lodged painfully inside me pumping jet after impossible jet of cum deeper than I thought possible. The whole time he held the back of my neck in his mouth like some feral cat holding his mate still while he fucked her.

He held me there, one arm around my waist, the other gently cupping my throbbing sex. Our breath was coming in frantic pants and neither of us wanted to break the moment. So much so that when his grip on my neck lessened and he tried to move away, I let out a tortured sob and for the first time moved my hand from the wall to pull Lucas back.

"You can't go, you can't leave me." I could hear myself and the part of me no where near in control, cringed at how weak and pathetic I sounded. "Please don't leave me, I'm not ready for this to end."

I was instantly this sobbing, blubbering mess. The pleasure and pain mixed together with all my fears, anxiety, and exhaustion, then topped off with a more than a healthy dose of alcohol brought me to a terrible place. Lucas stood there in shock for a minute before reaching over to turn off the water.

"Hush baby," he murmured to me, "I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. We just need to dry off, I want to take you to bed."

It was surreal having him pick up my pieces, to gently put me back together. I hadn't crashed this bad since our early days, but he handled it seamlessly. Pulling me out of the shower Lucas dried my hair and then my body with a reverent touch. He dressed me in my robe and had me stand, sniffling, on the side as he wiped down the shower, threw the towels in the washer, and washed his hands.

"Ready?" He asked, glancing over at me. He dried his hands on a new towel and led me to bed, his hands rarely leaving me, like maybe he too thought he was going to wake up and find this a dream.

I slid into his bed and stifled another sob. Lucas just slid in behind me and turned off the light without saying a word. We lay there in the dark for a stretch of forever, me curled on my side away from him crying softly; and Lucas on his back, hands folded across his stomach, staring up to the darkness.

"If you tell me what you need..." it kind of faded off there, like he couldn't quite promise to give me anything I wanted. Which of course only made me cry more, and the hole I was praying for, never showed up to swallow me whole.

I fell asleep like that, wallowing in my misery. Some time in the night I woke, wrapped in warm arms, my head pressed against his heart. Lucas' hand trailed up my spine, stopping to brush against the tender skin at the nape of my neck.

"This doesn't change anything," he spoke softly to the darkness.

My heart ached, but I chose to hug him closer and ignore it. "It changes everything," I replied with a tired smile.