I Love Luci Ch. 19

Chapter Nineteen: Psyche Rediscovered

Gwendolyn

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"As much as I want... *very* much... to stay in bed with you all day," Eros sighed, long fingers still languidly stroking small circles around my right nipple, watching it harden as they ventured closer and closer to its sensitive peak. "I actually came for a reason."

Evangeline had rescinded her control over our body after she had well and truly fucked Eros in all the best ways. I have definitely enjoyed being a voyeur in our mind, watching, and lusting just as much to join in the play. While it was true that I wasn't as much into women as Evvy was (she deeply enjoyed dominating them), and I wasn't the biggest fan of eating pussy like she was... that it was our Eros seemed to make all the difference. It was his body... no, I thought, kicking myself little. *Their* body. Eros had confessed to me that while the bulk of humanity saw the God of Love as a "he", and thus that was how the form they wore most often was shaped, that they were, in fact, born both a man and a woman. Like the Norse trickster god, Loki, who routinely changed gender in the oldest tales, modern incarnations had trapped them in one or another gender, creating a gender dysphoria that was hard to quantify. And because Eros had feared losing Evangeline and especially me... they had embraced that masculine role, because they saw what my other lovers looked like, and assumed that was what I wanted.

It frankly broke my heart.

"I want you to be *you*," I had said softly, tears brimming on my lower lashes. "Not my ideal, not anyone else's. I want you to be only your own ideal."

A look of worry shattered Eros's violet gaze and then their whole expression changed into one of stern resolve. They knelt before me on the bed and took both of my hands, looking almost uncomfortably deep into my eyes with the lavender-blue depths of their own. "Worship me. I have never asked you to, not really. When you have invoked me for spells you do only on a very small scale. You are still allowing others to shape me for you. We don't have that... that *bond*... that a Priestess and her God have."

I am sure my gaze looked stricken. "But Herne..."

"You will always belong to Herne. You'll always be in love with your Sean... and Lucifer. I don't want to replace them. Just, for this moment, close your eyes, touch me, see me in your mind as you know me to truly be and *believe* in me. Love me." Eros brought one of my hands to their soft, gently curved face, wrought with such beauty. Such full, sensuous lips, made for kissing. Made for so many other, far filthier things, as well. Cheekbones models would die for. Golden brows with a perfect, graceful arch. They didn't need make up to look flawless... they simply were. They had looks that made people stare endlessly, such as those borne by David Bowie and Tilda Swinton, just marveling at the beauty, careless of the gender associated with it. Gender was irrelevant; beauty was beauty.

My other hand was lazily coaxed down Eros's flat, well sculpted chest, across small, tight nipples that were rock hard, down a well formed six pack, and finally wrapped around a very hard cock. These parts spoke of their masculine nature, to be certain, and definitely were a glory unto themselves, but they did not define the person in front of me exclusively, as now I understood the hidden wonders of their form, and the heart that beat in that beautiful chest.

Eros winked at me, joy and anticipation alight in those now-familiar Elisabeth Taylor purple eyes as they said again: "Close your eyes, Gwenny. Please." I did as told and felt the soft heat of breath across my cheek and shoulder as Eros leaned close and murmured into my ear softly: "And darling, I'm the motherfucking God of Love... seven inches is insulting. I think we can do better."

I almost barked out a startled laugh of shocked delight and the open my eyes. "Excuse me?" At the stern look on their face, I closed them again.

They started moving my hand over that smooth, well-known member and I couldn't help but think that an Eros with a larger cock would be absolutely irresistible. I mean, they were perfect in my opinion, but if they liked the idea, and wanted such a thing... I had to admit that it made me ache a little to think of that already wonderful cock reaching farther into my body.... stretching me wider....

Eros moaned aloud and rocked their hips against our hands, theirs atop mine and both wrapped around that pulsating arousal and I felt it throb as they thrust harder into our hands.... lengthening... widening... like they had never really been completely hard for me in the past. "Fuck," they murmured, and I couldn't help peeking through my lashes to see their mouth falling open a little as they slowly thrust another time, and another, until I was holding one of the largest cocks I'd ever seen in real life, just over ten inches and easily an inch and a half in diameter. Pre-cum oozed out of the tip, and I *wanted* to worship them, as I did Herne.

And why shouldn't I? Herne had given me permission to invoke Eros, which meant doing this very thing, but... but it usually didn't mean opening my heart and mind the way worship did. Worship meant so much more than just sex.

But I loved Eros. It was impossible not to. They were simply *lovable*. They were patient, thoughtful, kind, forgiving... I had to laugh a little as that cliche wedding Bible verse came to mind: "Love is patient, love is kind..."

But that was so true. In fact, when I thought of deities that embodied true, selfless love, Eros was the first that came to mind. Aphrodite was too self-centered. Hera too jealous. Cupid too weird because of his mixed incarnations, the man and the diapered baby. Despite Brigid being my patron Goddess, she was a distant goddess and as a result, I was not very acquainted with others of her pantheon, nor was I on close terms with the Asgardians, the Loa, or any of the hundreds of tribal love deities that I simply had never crossed paths with or had reason to call on. For me, if "Love" had a face and form... a personification... it was Eros.

How could I deny them?

"Worship me, my Priestess," their voice was husky and low, tightening my insides in response, and I opened my eyes and raised them, taking in the beloved face of my friend, my oldest companion... the first celestial lover I have ever had, when I thought back to the very beginning, when I was a girl. When I had read the story of Eros and Psyche for the first time, I became wet. I had not even really decided to become pagan yet... I just knew I was a shit Catholic and it wasn't for me. It felt wrong. We were learning about Greek myths in school. And I read about the girl Aphrodite had cursed, for others compared her beauty to the goddess's, and how the goddess has sent her child to deal with the girl. Eros ended up in love instead, and tried to keep the girl... I could never remember why but she was forbidden to look on her "husband", Eros, and had betrayed Eros's trust. In some stories they reconciled. In others, she was lost to him forever. Given that I was her reincarnation, I suppose I knew which it was.

Did some part of me know that? Did my innocent touching of my own body for the first time call to Eros because I was a young witch who needed her spells heard? Or was it because, somewhere deep down, part of me belonged with them? Part of me.... missed... them.

I gathered myself up, moved off the bed, ignoring the startled look of my lover as I slid out of the sheets, totally nude and shameless and knelt at Eros's feet, my gaze raised up to their face, letting them see in my eyes and expression how I saw them... the love that I bore them. I ran my fingertips from the tips of their toes, tickling the instep of their foot, up their toned and well formed legs and thighs. Raising myself up, I ran my nails along the well muscled buttocks as I leaned forward to envelop as much of that massive cock as I was able past my lips. I admit, my jaw ached! As I sucked, licked and stroked Eros's enlarged member, I kept my eyes upon their face, our eyes burning into the other's, as one of my hands found that molten center hidden behind the rigid phallus under my lips and tongue. I had the distinct pleasure of seeing Eros roll their eyes back as their breath caught in their chest and I felt that huge organ jerk between my lips spasmodically. I sank my fingers deep into the warm, wet crevasse of the deity to whom I now knelt before, and watched the flickers of passion and joy, pleasure and delighted agony flash across the face of my beloved friend, my lover... my god, for this moment. And I *saw* them, truly, golden-hued and gorgeous. The soft pale wings made them look angelic, as if Eros was closer kin to Lucifer than their own father, Hermes, who was gifted with speed, certainly, but not flight in the traditional sense. That chest which might well have been sculpted by a Renaissance master was beginning to heave a bit as Eros's breathing deepened, becoming small gasps and moans under my ministrations. Their hands delved deep into my red tresses, struggling not to take control of what I was doing, to not tangle in my hair, grip it painfully tight and start fucking my wet lips and hungry mouth. Instead, their fingers just flexed in my hair and they looked down into my eyes, their own lavender depths wild with need.

"I still want you as a man wants a woman," Eros moaned softly, drawing me off of the prize I was greedily licking on and raising me to stand before them, lifting my chin so that we were once more intimately connected by our gaze. "Never doubt that."

"I don't," I said, smiling, leaning forward to kiss the full, soft lips that honestly were my favorite to press my own against. Eros made kissing an artform, naturally, and making out with them was always as sensual as making love with them. Eros didn't mind the leather and chains of kink... they even reveled in the free expression of passion and lust. But where they were most gifted was the sensual dance of the act, the seduction, the helpless succumbing to passion and sensation. Eros was more a being of love and sensuality than pure carnal lust and sexuality... that was one of their brothers, actually.

"You don't need to change for me, either, Gwen," Eros said very gently, their fingers spreading through the crimson waves of hair at my temples, moving through drying ringlets damp from the sweat of earlier activities to the back of my neck. The fingers flexed, pulling, making my body respond instantly, like a cat being caught by its nape. My lips parted and raised to Eros's, wide in surprise. I think, because I had begun thinking of them differently now that I was acknowledging their gender queerness, I was making assumptions that Eros possessing a vagina would suddenly make them more... submissive? How narrow minded, I scolded myself. Knowing who Eros was physically changed absolutely nothing about what I knew about the heart of the God of Love. But I think I assumed that Eros had only played the Dominant man for me.

"Tell me," they said, looking at my expression. "Keep nothing from me, my priestess."

"I think... I just always assumed that perhaps it wasn't just that you were making an effort to be more masculine around me because you thought that was what I wanted... perhaps you were also making an effort to be more dominant because you knew that was what I preferred."

Eros looked perplexed and seemed to think carefully how to respond. "That is both completely accurate and not at the same time."

I admit I felt my stomach plummet. I loved them being dominant with me, and the idea that they really were only doing this act for me.... it made me chilled and sickened, like I coerced them into a type of play that they wouldn't otherwise be in were it not for me... play that they didn't like and might come to regret. I never wanted to create regrets.

I looked up into those startling purple eyes, unable to voice all of the worries and guilt and confusion rolling over me, all mixed up with my love of them and fear of ever causing them pain. I felt the mental touch when it happened, unlike with Lucifer who seemed to just instinctively know what was happening in my head. My whole body felt suddenly aflame with sheer, unadulterated *lust*, and I nearly assaulted them with how quickly I rose to seal my mouth to theirs and drag them back down to the bed with me. The moment our lips met, the whole inner struggle poured from me, as if I spoke it all to him, from my mind in a warm, heated breath of passion and the wet slide of tongues that spoke every word in sighs in moans that I couldn't articulate aloud.

And in the same language of flesh, blood, passion and tactile sensation, Eros said to me: "My Priestess.... my dear friend... my lover... I was always myself with you. I chose every role I played with an open and glad heart and regret nothing. I hope to play them all again...." This was spoken through an almost ritualistic series of kisses that Eros bestowed upon my body as they lay me upon my back in the middle of the bed. First upon my toes, with which I couldn't help but giggle. Then upon my knees, my thighs, left then right. Next, upon my mound, and here he paused to part my thighs, and lick me from bottom to top in one flat-tongued lave across my entire cunt from ass to clit. I nearly came on the spot, and the almost sinister chuckle against my clit was enough to make me arch my back and for my eyes to roll back a bit.

"You have always gotten my personality right," Eros said, continuing to move up my body kissing each and every chakra point from my root chakra up wards. "And nothing we have ever done has been because you willed it more than I. You aren't *that* powerful. Not yet." When they got to my heart chakra, they detoured again and caressed, nuzzled, licked and even nursed for a time at my breasts. That was different... and somehow... it didn't feel wrong, holding him to my body, stroking his hair, feeling him just relax and soothe in my arms, enter an almost trance-like calm that seemed similar to me when I was in deep sub space. And it dawned on me.... that was *exactly* what I was seeing! Something in me shifted and I just.... held them close, kissed their forehead and whispered how I loved them, how they soothed me and always had, for as long as I could remember. Part of me almost wished we were in Hathor's realm so that I could...

Eros's eyes rose to mine as a sudden spike of desire cut through us both, originating from me, shocking me. "Do you mean that, my priestess?" The spasming in my pussy made me nod, cheeks burning, there bring just... *something* about this that made me feel ashamed of myself for desiring it, which just made me wetter.

They continued to finish their blessing of my chakra points, biting my throat and , kissing my forehead softly, lovingly and then kissing the top of my head as if I were some treasured pet and then they winked at me.

"I got distracted again," Eros said ruefully. "I came for a reason.... and if you're in the mood, I was actually sent to talk you into hanging out with some celestials you might not otherwise have a chance to get to know. It was one of the agreements Herne and Lucifer negotiated out for you...well, we all sort of did."

"Yes. Tiny, weak, pathetic human ok to fuck, but too dumb to negotiate for own self." I didn't mean for it to come out as harsh as it did, but Eros visibly winced. "Or is it just because I am a woman?"

"Yes to both," they answered honestly. "The Gods rarely evolve as fast as their worshippers." They wrapped me in their arms. "But I can tell you this... no one may touch you without your consent; I will not permit it." There was a flash of pure darkness in Eros's hyacinth eyes as they tilted my face up with a gentle finger under my chin and I felt a little chill. "I am not a weak God, Gwendolyn. So many have forgotten my name, but who I am, *what* I am... I can cripple Ares — stop war itself. I can create civilizations. I could heal this whole planet if everyone looked to me for wisdom. And just as easily, I can tear it apart merely by my absence. I can and will protect you and woe unto them that would challenge that."

It took me a moment to catch my breath and simply smile. I would be lying if I said the sudden intensity didn't arouse me as much as it terrified me. I didn't want to imagine a world devoid of love. Sometimes that world felt too real already.

"I know you won't let me be hurt," I said gently, placing my hand over their heart. "Are you asking me to come over and play with your friends, Eros?" I gave them an arch look, awkwardly responding to the tension with amusement. But it had the desired results and they smiled and the darkness was gone as quick as a passing cloud. Then the intensity shifted once more as Eros pulled me closer to them on the bed, tumbling me so I was pinned on my back.

"Yes. But not before I remind you to whom you belong tonight, Priestess." Eros ran their palm up my chest, firmly, pressing the caressing the flesh between my breasts but touching neither, as it climbed to wrap lightly around my throat, tilting my head a bit as the grip tightened. My heart pounded in my ears and I managed a surprised gasp as Eros leaned down and kissed me sweetly on my parted lips.

"I will take you to meet some new friends, and I will keep you safe. But I want you to trust me. I want you to serve me. Please me... that is how I call you to worship me today. Can you do that?"

Eros released my throat but kept eye contact with me as they allowed me to process exactly what was being said. "Do they expect to have sex with me?" I asked.

"I am sure it will be something they consider a possibility, given how you generally practice your Craft."

"But I don't know them. Not like you, or Luci, or Herne... even Dionysus and I *knew* one another even if we don't often work together."

"That is accurate. But nothing without your consent, Gwen, I promise you that."

"Be straight with me," and at their amused smirk, I rolled my eyes. "You know what I mean." Eros gave a nod and waited for me to continue. "Will it help? If I am open to that. Will everyone just... leave Luci the fuck alone and *not* do stupid shit like kidnapping me if I allow these other celestials access to me like that?"

Eros sighed but answered quite seriously. "It will go a long way to making those afraid of you less fearful that your ignorance of them will mean their utter annihilation," they said carefully.

"They think I am even remotely capable of such a thing?" I asked, shocked. "I am one woman."

Eros took my hand and wrapped it around the evidence of my very real affect on their form... because I chose to believe and imagine that cock was a reality, it had changed now by my will. "You have this affect on us all," Eros said softly. "They fear what you create you may one day destroy, but they *know* your power is one they would rather have access to and they definitely do not wish enemies to have you. So my advice is make friends of all if you can... if we have to go to war for you, you will want all the allies you can and worship is always currency... yours just happens to be expressed sexually. And they know it. But it is still your choice."

Stroking the silky hard member under my fingers, I closed my eyes, considering and finally said: "Command me."

"What?"

I opened my eyes again, and I felt Evangeline helping me come up with a solution that somehow worked for me. I looked meaningfully into his eyes and felt Ev's energy merge with mine in a way I had never felt before. But it felt... *right* somehow... like we were both speaking with the same voice. "I am your High Priestess tonight, my Lord Eros, and as such your will is my own. We surrender our being to you and lay our body at your feet to do with as you will, to use as you will... and to be used as you see fit."