I Posted An Ad

I Posted An Ad

By

LAHomedog

This takes place a year ago. Please enjoy.

© LAHomedog, 2021

I Wasn't Expecting This:

A guy will do a lot for a fine piece of ass.

I was chowing down on Suzy Jane's pussy devouring it while rotating my tongue around her throbbing clit screaming that it wanted to cum. I pinched the hood back and started motorboating around her nub making her even more excited.

"That's it. That's it Come on now, make baby happy. Make me happy," she purred.

Instead, I pulled off.

"No, no, no" I wagged. "Not yet! I really want to eat this luscious pussy some more "

And put two fingers of my left hand into my mouth soaking them. I slid my fingers out, slammed my mouth back on Suzy Jane's clit to a loud moan, and shoved my fingers into her very wet cunt all the way to the bottom to a screeching cry as I bounced off her cervix and hit her G-Spot.

My right hand moved behind her and was now caressing and manipulating her ample ass cheeks and playing with her sweet rosebud, teasing it with my fingers, circling around it, and dipping a finger in and out, feeling it grab around my fingertip.

I abandoned her clit as Suzy Jane moaned, "Nooooo... Where are you going, lover? My clit needs you back," as she squirmed against the black cloth straps she had asked me to use to tie her arms up high to the bedposts.

Her undulating firm but generous ass was so inviting I ignored her pleas, diving down to her ass, its tempting, pink rosebud, and the brown, highly sensitive ring around it. My tongue found her asshole and shoved itself in. Suzy Jane gasped.

I reached up to her clit and sure enough, as my tongue went into her asshole Little Suzy Jane came out to play even bigger and hotter.

I tongue fucked her ass until she actually had a clitoral erection. It never fails, I thought. Tongue fuck a woman's ass for a while and it is guaranteed to make the clit get longer and harder and demanding to cum.

She fought against the ties around her arms again making the bed rock, desperate to grab my head and shove it back into her crotch and onto her clit and shouted. "Will you eat me already!!!"

I forced my head away, looked at her and said, "Oh, do you want me to lick your clit until you cum?"

"Lover please! Ohoooo!" as I dove in, eating her pussy and clit as if it was crème brûlée, my favorite dessert.

"That's it! Just like that. Make me cum," the sultry southern drawl growled down towards me urging my tongue to lap harder

I squeezed my lips tightly around the base, and started giving Suzy Jane's clit a hum job vibrating my lips as if I was humming a song. Changing speeds and pressure as she began to buck, against my fingers that were ramming her without mercy as I devoured her delicious clit.

She had the greatest boobs I had ever seen in my life. Natural. Huge,. Ungodly firm with the smallest and tightest nipples for breasts that size. I mean better than "Playboy" boobs. No exaggeration.

Her pubes had been waxed bare.

I lowered my head and started to lick around the smooth vulva and along the soaking wet slit licking up and down Suzy Jane's lips, working my way deeper into her with every lick until my tongue was fully fucking her pussy licking it with all I had. My cock was pouring pre-cum. I put my finger under the head of my cock, soaked it in my slippery pre-cum, brought my left hand up to the nipple on her right breast, rolled the slippery liquid around her areola and erect nipple and started to circle it. Moving faster and faster in pace with my tongue fucking her gushing snatch.

"Oh, that's it. I'm almost there."

I could feel her pussy starting to spasm on my tongue. She started to shudder and cum screaming to Jesus in high heaven over and over.

Man, was I happy I had answered that email!

Chapter 1

Like many of you, I am single and made it through this pandemic lonely, desperate, and thanks to my hand sort of okay. I mean how many times can a 32 year old guy whack off?

I miss my life. I miss my friends and family. I miss my workplace and colleagues. I miss people. I miss talking to strangers and my God, I miss sex. I needed sex. Not with myself, some pornstar on my screen, or a Fleshlight. With a naked woman who had breasts, an ass and a wet pussy between her legs with my hard cock in it fucking until we both had screaming orgasms.

Sex!

So WTF. I posted an ad on one of those web personal ad websites:

I'm a teacher, now fully vaccinated so I feel safe to explore.

I haven't had sex with someone else since March 11, 2020 when the world stopped. I want to be with others. Laugh, eat, drink, touch and have sex.

How about you?

I'm early 30s and looking for a single girl who is also vaccinated and as lonely and horny as me. I am 6'-0," 175lbs., fit, the girls say I'm decent looking -- my picture is here -- I try to be a nice guy, and the pandemic has made me scared to do this, but I am trying to put my toe in the water again.

Are you?

I am drug and disease-free. I have my vaccinated card. Please be the same.

As you would expect I got a lot of bullshit responses:

A few escorts.

A lot of gay guys offering or wanting various acts, some highly descriptive.

And some official with an important sounding title from a foreign ministry informing me of a long-lost relative who had left me $hundreds of millions of dollars in his will and all I had to do to claim it was send them $10,000 for court and administrative fees.

The only real one was from a woman. It said:

I read your post, and think you are more than decent looking. You're hot, and I would love to hook up with you. I know a lot of people lie in ads like this, but I'm a older than you, I hope that's OK. Like you, I'm an English teacher and vaccinated."

And I'm married.

I'm in a loveless marriage. All he does is work and sleep. I think he's screwing his assistant. I no longer care.

Before the pandemic I was in a long-distance affair, but it stopped because of COVID. After a year of being trapped in my house masturbating in the bathtub and cooking for my sexless husband, he's a good companion, but I am anxious to find a man who will appreciate me as a woman and fuck me until my eyeballs bleed.

I know this is an unusual reply and will probably scare you, but honesty is best. Don't you think? Well, it is to me.

Are you open to something more than a one and done? I am looking for a lover. Think of me like Mrs. Robinson in "The Graduate. I need someone who I can spend time with, talk to, and fuck. Do you think you can make me cum? Here are more pics. Tell me what you think."

"If yes, please reply. I look forward to hearing from you. I have my vaccine card, and I'm also drug and disease free even though I smoke a little weed now and then to let my hair down 

Wow. Married? Mrs. Robinson? A possible affair? I didn't know how I felt about that.

I mean, who hasn't seen "The Graduate." It didn't end well for Benjamin. Well, I guess it did. Yeah, I'm wrong. It did end well. He got to fuck and marry the daughter Elaine and who wouldn't want to fuck Katherine Ross. Hell, Sam Elliot did. He's been married to her since 1984.

Lucky devil.

I had never done anything like that. An older married woman. Shit, that one I had to think about.

Having said that, it did arrive with some of the hottest photos I have ever seen. She had world-class breasts. I'm talking Playboy Centerfold quality and for such huge boobs -- I was guessing D -- surprisingly small and tight nipples. Not spread like a lot of large breasted women. Small, firm and tight like B-cup nipples.

She wanted to meet. How could I say no to that?

Hey, I'd spent a year watching porn videos, and yeah, like most guys, eventually surfed over to what got me hot and off. Alright, my kink. I liked it all, after all. I have a penis, but I had developed an obsessive fantasy during the pandemic over anal. Fucking a girl up the ass. I had never met a girl who let me put it in her back door. I got my rocks off a lot fantasizing that I was the lucky guy who finally got to put his cock up a hot woman's ass.

I wondered if my mystery woman did anal?

I reread the email a few times, closed it out, read the other responses, all lame, and went into my bedroom to work out.

I had given up my gym membership and bought one of those Total Gyms. It turns to be a great, one piece, home gym, got undressed to change into my workout shorts, and stopped to look in the mirror and to check out the goods.

Years of working out showed. Not like Schwarzenegger or The Rock, but a nice 40" jacket chest and 32" waist. Both my stomach and butt were firm, and I was no pornstar, but I had more than enough to get the job done, kept everything shaved, and never had a girl complain.

Speaking of hair, good thing I was only in Zoom meetings wearing my baseball cap. The boss would be going crazy over how long my wavy, brown hair was now, and yelling at me to cut it.

I put the music on and did a full workout of my lower body since it was its day in the rotation, spending extra time on my hammies and butt just in case...

I took a quick rinse, went into my kitchen, opened a beer, and turned on the game to watch with dinner then off to bed. Work came early.

Chapter 2:

A robin poking in the grass for breakfast hopped to the side as Suzy Jane and her dog, Daisy, passed it on the front steps. She took her hand and swept her vibrant, blonde hair back. This was the first day in months she could go out in just a light fleece jacket and the sunshine on her face felt heavenly as they turned down the sidewalk toward the park.

There were no kids on the playground, it was surrounded in police tape discouraging gatherings even outdoors during the pandemic. Suzy Jane sat down on a bench to enjoy her travel mug of coffee. Daisy laid down by her side.

She wasn't movie star gorgeous, but attractive. Around 5'-8", 140lbs, shapely with a generous but firm ass from her many hours working out.

She liked it. Suzy worked hard at the gym to keep it firm, but she was proud of her ass. It balanced her large top. She was a curvy woman in the old school way of Marilyn Monroe and Rita Heyworth. After all, "baby got back." And all of the locals who kept hitting on her all seemed to feel the same way. A tight waist for her age, and very large breasts. Her workout buddies frequently joked that when they were in the pool, she'd "never drown with her large boobs to keep her afloat." She thought they looked hot in a sweater.

She was lucky, got both of her shots early because she was a teacher. Teacher, yeah right! That was a joke. She spent her day attempting to teach literature to high school seniors whose attention spans have been shortened by years of online streaming and playing video games.

That's why she was working on her Master's Degree in Education so she could move up to college-level where the students might appreciate her. One more year to go.

"Daisy, what should I do with this adorable young man?"

Daisy looked at her as if to say, "Do you have a cookie for me?"

"Funny," She said to her. "I have a hunch I've got him hooked. He's as lonely as me, I think as horny as me, and my woman's intuition is telling me yes."

She looked down at the dog, "Is yours?"

Daisy wagged her tail.

"Good. I thought so too. I'm going to send him another email including another photo or two, and see what kind of response I get."

She patted Daisy on the head, stood up and the two of them headed home. She had to get on the computer and get to work.

It was a long day. Teaching remotely was not how the classroom was supposed to be. It was break time. She was going to go to the kitchen and get a cup of coffee and start to write her email when one from her mystery man pinged into her mailbox first.

"Yeah, I'd say hooked and eager," She thought.

Hi -

I'll admit I'm a bit uncomfortable with your email. It was not what I was seeking, but I find the idea sort of intriguing, and exciting, and you seem hot.

Candidly, I wasn't thinking older and long-term. I was thinking a hookup or two. That's why I posted in "Let's Hook Up Now" rather than ""Let's Date."

But you got me curious. I'll admit it.

I've never done anything like this before. Meeting someone from an online post let alone a married woman. I'll confess to being a little bit nervous about it. It feels dangerous, scary, but I'm willing to explore a bit more.

How do we start?

Call me,

Curious.

She replied:

Dear Curious,

No worries. I feel the same way about you being hot, and can take it a step at a time.

I'm 5'-8", around 140lbs.womanly, but fit, with blonde hair. I haven't done this before either, but for some reason, I'm attaching pics of my boobs and ass since you seem like a nice guy.

Don't share them please 

Since I am taking the leap here, some of your stats would be nice and maybe a pic or two? After all, you're seeing me. Don't forget what I assume is your pert ass for me since I'm an ass-girl ❤❤❤

And we shall see...

Suzy Jane

(What's your name, BTW?)

Some more pictures were included: Her terrific breasts, nude with bikini tan lines and firm D-cup boobs. Another of her ass. Generous but very firm. Something to grab on to like Meagan Tainor's "It's all about the bass."

Yeah, it was.

I never thought I was a butt man before, but she got me hard as a rock and once more aroused me with my anal fantasy.

Above it was a tramp stamp of a vine with roses, leaves, and large thorns woven around the word, "PISTOL."

Hmmm.

I closed the email. I couldn't get the idea of her tits out of my mind, trying to imagine what it would really be like to have them in my mouth as I was ass fucking her.

Her breasts were amazing. Large but with small areolas for her bra size. A dark pink, around the width of a silver dollar and tall, erect nipples point towards the camera.

From the side, there was surprisingly limited sag sitting high up on her ribs and they looked firm, and more than a handful.

I climbed into bed, grabbed my cock, squeezed some lube on it, and very slowly started to jerk my cock up and down. Starting at my large, mushroom head, squeezing it, slowly moving down, lingering on the ridge underneath, all the way to the base, and then back up again.

I imagined Suzy Jane in bed taking her blouse off revealing a red laced bra. Then peeling down the jeans revealing a red lace thong with a red rose on the front as we made out and I fondled her boobs and slowly crawled my hand down her stomach towards her wet pussy as he reached around grabbed my ass and my jeans and started to pull them down along with my boxers, grabbing my cock.

In my fantasy, she took off the bra and thong showing me that heavenly pussy, my tongue traced down her Happy Trail, which was a nicely trimmed landing strip.

My favorite kind of runway.

I started to eat her delicious pussy then slowly moved down to her scrumptious ass with my tongue, and began to lick around her rosebud.

She moaned and pulled my head in deeper giving me a clue.

I moved up to kiss her and put some lube on the head of my cock, aimed it at her world-class ass and she opened easily and wide as my large cock eased its way into her ass. I started fucking her, feeling the heat as Suzy Jane's butt started moving back and forth.

We were ass fucking like crazy, her hips bucking her way into a gigantic orgasm as she moaned and pulsed and trembled on my cock.

Oh shit! My cock erupted shooting gigantic streams of cum over my head, onto the headboard of my bed, some actually landed on my face and into my mouth and covered my chest.

I didn't even know who Suzy Jane was but the fantasy of her made me cum harder and faster than I had shot in a year.

I was going to have to clean up the headboard.

Chapter 3

Later, I sat on my bed rereading the latest email thinking, "Jeeez, what are you getting yourself into?" Well, the website said all replies were anonymous. What's the worst that could happen?

A dicpic. I had never taken a dicpic before. And how do I take a picture of my own ass? Someone had to help, but all I had was my dog Dodger and he didn't have opposable thumbs to hold the camera!

I took a shower making sure that my junk was nicely groomed, dried off, and went back and laid on my bed with my phone in my hand.

I went to my favorite pornsite, found a video of a sexy babe with tits about the size of Suzy Jane's pictures who was taking it up the ass. It didn't take long for me to have another raging hardon.

I laid back, put my phone on photo mode, and started moving my phone around my cock. A good dicpic turns out to be challenging!

Turned out the best angle was from the side looking up slightly so you could get a sense of how large my cut, mushroom head was, the full length of the shaft, and a hint of balls. I fired off a bunch to pick the best later.

My ass, now that was another question. It had to be a mirror shot.

I stood in front of the full length mirror, struggled again with framing and focus, and click. Shit. Who knew?

I downloaded the shots to Photoshop, picked out the two best, color corrected them, edited the ass photo to get it in the center of the shot, saved them. I was happy with the results. Not bad on the dicpic, I thought. Hell, I'm no pornstar, but a bit over 6-1/2" and thick. Wider than most with hefty balls. That's why I cum so much and so hard.

I had to have a sperm count a while back for a prostate problem and the doctor called back and after I said "Hello," she said, "Hi is this Mister Sperm??!!"

The doc and I had a long conversation about birth control after that.

I waited until after work the next day and wrote

Suzy Jane, hi.

I'm attaching the requested pics and I hope they are what you desire and they please you.

I would really like to get together with you and have been thinking about you a lot.

Please understand there is a lot of newness here for me. I wanted to ask you one question, and I hope it doesn't make you mad at me. You said that you are an ass-girl. My largest unfulfilled fantasy is anal. Is that something you might consider? If not, I understand, but I thought I would ask.

I hope that was ok and you like my pics.

And I hit the send button.

The reply came back immediately. "You're hot! Let's meet!"

Chapter 4

We agreed to a date. I had no idea how to have dinner with a married woman but going back to "The Graduate" again, I figured Benjamin went to the best hotel so I made a reservation at the Bel-Air Hotel, a quiet, private oasis in the city tucked up into the hills of the posh neighborhood of Bel-Air, for a junior suite and dinner in the restaurant.

The Bel-Air is on Stone Canyon Road deep inside the wooded hillside of the neighborhood. You would not even know from the street that one of the finest hotels in the world was hidden inside the lush landscaping. You enter on bridges over ponds with pink flamingos swimming around to greet you.

A hidden sanctuary amongst the wooded hills. A secret paradise with 483 specimen trees and more than 4,000 plants surround paths that weave through the hotel grounds like an intriguing secret.

It is not a modern hotel. Originally built in 1922, the neighborhood -- one of the most expensive and desirable areas in the Los Angeles Hills was built around it. You can only enter Bel Air two ways through stone gated streets that have been seen in countless movies.

Because of its history of being hidden from the hubbub of L.A., it is an oasis for the rich of the world. There's nothing over two stories, You can drive to your bungalow without ever going to the lobby, which is why President John Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe had their affair there.