I Say Ass, You Say Arse: Different

Lisa let him put his arm around her and lead her to the exit. A perfect, normal, conquest. He called over to Rachel.

"Rach? You're right, I'm not that adventurous. I'd like a simple night, just me and her, actually. I'll see you when you come to New York."

Rachel grinned. "Fair enough. I'm in the mood for partying, anyway. Oh well, I'll just have to cope for three months without you. Darn."

"I'll leave you in your girl's capable hands, hon," Bradley assured her.

A quick kiss, before Rachel pushed him away so she could return to the dance floor.

"You OK with that?" Lisa asked.

"Yes. Really. Call me kinda boring, but one girl is all I want for the night." They stepped out into the cold night air.

"And you... You think I'm girl enough?"

Bradley looked her up and down, for effect. You couldn't see any cock through her skirt. He could see the outline of some great breasts, and he'd already felt the curve of a fabulous ass. He'd even kissed her. She tasted like a woman.

"Yeah. I'm looking forward to seeing all of you. Actually, make that almost all of you... Sorry."

She gazed out at the sea, or rather the blackness where the sea was and the lights of the pier weren't.

"I'll take that. No, really." She sighed, heavily, more than he'd expect from a woman.

Bradley panicked for a moment, as to whether he could treat this woman right.

Lisa continued, "Honesty, it's good, right? I mean, I was wondering how to say, figuring you hadn't guessed, and my subconscious must have figured out that one... I never, normally. I mean, gents' toilets reek..."

"True. But we were in a gay bar. You didn't have much choice. No-one did!"

"I normally go in the cubicles, in that situation. I guess I was distracted by you..."

"You sure seemed to be..."

"Yeah, well. I always have to try outing myself while still in a public place, for obvious reasons."

"What?" he asked, confused, until realising yes, they were obvious, and hating humanity.

"Not getting beaten up. Or worse. Hell hath no fury like a straight guy faced with a surprise cock. Present company excepted."

"I like to think I'd have just gone, 'Thanks, but no thanks'? I mean, I tell guys that often enough."

"Guys think you might be gay? Bi, rather? That surprises me."

"I'm glad you think so! I guess, it's not so much they seriously think I am, as I hang out with scientists. I'm a molecular biologist. The thing with scientists is, they like to experiment! You get me? So even if most of them are mostly straight, they generally have tried..."

He laughed, adding, "And they drink a lot, especially at conferences. You know that old joke about what's the difference between a straight man and a bisexual, right?"

"About eight pints?" Her amused voice chimed with his 'six pints', and she laughed. "Brits out-drinking the Yanks again! And our pints are bigger."

"I'm not even trying to explain that most Americans aren't Yankees." The Brits never appreciated the difference.

"Yeah, don't bother. I do know! It's just how we use the word here; tough shit. So you haven't been tempted to experiment with any men, then?"

"Not ever. I can cope with a guy in the same room -- hell, I had a tutorial on how to go down on this one lady, her kinda-boyfriend lying next to me... That was quite close enough!"

"Wow. A guy who hasn't run away because of my," -- she gestured to her crotch, "and who goes down? And who likes anal?"

"Your lucky night, huh?"

"So far, so good." She seemed distracted, but squeezed his hand.

They entered the hotel. Bradley nodded at a couple he recognised, but they entered the elevator alone. At which point Bradley took her hand again and dared to tuck a curl back behind her ear.

She gave a small embarrassed smile.

Bradley let go to unlock the bedroom door, knocking first. Just in case Emily was... busy.

The room was blessedly empty. The freshly-made bed awaited them.

Bradley smiled at her, gesturing to the large luxurious bedspread.

Lisa returned the smile with a weaker version. She sat on the bed, tense.

"What's up?" he asked.

She exhaled, a long, lingering breath. "Where do I even start? Sorry. But this is a bit new to me." She gestured, indicating the room.

Bradley tried to look encouraging. Apart from anything else, he could tell he wasn't going to get his leg over until Lisa got some things off her mind.

"There's only been a few men who've known about... she pointed at her groin, again. And still wanted to go to bed with me. Mostly it's a 'thanks, but no'... But, all of them who did? It was a fetish thing. They wanted a woman's body, with a cock. Wanted my dick. Some were in denial about being gay, some just wanted the excitement of a freak. What I wanted wasn't really important."

Again, Bradley felt embarrassed by his fellow men.

"You..." She reached to his cheek. "You wanted me because I was a woman. Then you found out about my... body. Less gently than I'd meant to explain it. And you didn't run away. That's... That's pretty special. A first, in fact."

He kissed her. It seemed the only appropriate response. Besides, he liked kissing her. As he kissed down her neck, he felt his cock stiffen again. Yes, he was doing the right thing.

Even if he had to ensure she wouldn't see him the answer to life, the universe, and everything. "I'm not that special. Really, I'm not. I'm just a regular guy, who likes pretty women. And who really likes fucking pretty women in the ass." A guy who liked sex was hardly unusual, right?

"Exactly. You still think I'm a woman." She looked like she might cry.

"Well, let's confirm that. I'll need to check all over your body..."

She made a tiny tense smile, and began to unbutton his shirt.

Of course. Women always wanted to have at least as many clothes on as the guy. In case of needing a quick exit, he'd been told. He helped undo buttons, shucked his shirt and undershirt.

Lisa let her fingers circle idly through his chest hair and round his nipples. They weren't especially sensitive, but he liked it. Bradley let her strip off his pants. Then she pulled his shorts to the floor.

From her kneeling position, she glanced up, shyly, at his nude body. "I guess you're a man, all right."

Resisting his urge to shut her up with his cock, Bradley told her, "I don't pretend to understand much about gender and all. But I've learned not everyone with a dick is a man. For example..."

Bradley was as gentle as he could, reaching for the hem of Lisa's stretchy top so he could pull it over her head. Her cleavage looked even better in a lacy bra, and better still once he'd removed the bra and flung it aside.

He bent to push his face between her pair of perfect breasts, then held her close as he explored both breasts with his mouth.

"Oh..." she gasped.

Yes, that was exactly the sort of feminine noise he expected. Amazing tits. He supposed, if you were going to have breasts created by surgery, you might as well have exactly the shape and size you wanted. But they felt right, not fake. Could they have been made just with hormones? Eventually, the biologist in him would be curious as to how she'd got them, but right now, enjoying them was his only priority.

He sat up, grinning at her. "Yup. A woman."

"So far so good, I guess." She really was scared.

Bradley hated that. "Come on, let's lie on the bed. Sure, face down is fine. My God, lady! You have one damn fine ass!"

He pulled her skirt away, then had to inch down her black lacy panties, down her firm thighs -- were her legs slightly more hairy than other women? He'd not had enough other women to say. Nothing jumped out at him to say that her legs, clad in sheer lace-topped hold-ups, were anything other than gloriously female.

Underwear now on the floor, he could return to fondling Lisa's backside. White and curvy, with a beautiful crack between those buttocks. He spread her cheeks apart with his palms, and kissed down each side of the wonderful crease which was revealed.

"You've got a beautiful ass."

"Yeah," she sighed. "But if I turn over, you'll change your mind."

"Not about your ass. Look, you're worried I'll panic and go crazy. I can't blame you. But I can tell you, I coped with Rachel wearing a big strap-on cock last night -- she didn't even fucking warn me! She'd forgot she was wearing it, crazy woman!" At least she hadn't tried to use it on him.

How could he reassure Lisa, without over-promising? "I like you, I like your ass, I like all of your top half, your legs... How about you turn over, I'll try not to look too freaked, then you can chill out and we can do something more fun?"

After a pause, she nodded. "I can't argue with that, I suppose. Could... could you pass me a towel or something?"

Bradley fetched a white hand towel from the bathroom. "There you go, ma'am. Protect your modesty!"

She managed a weak chuckle, and turned over, the towel across her crotch.

Bradley blew her a kiss. He kissed the top of her foot, and up the front of her legs, before sitting up. He tried to look as unthreatening as possible as he slowly lifted the towel.

There was indeed a flaccid penis, lying on a wrinkled scrotum. Just like he'd seen in too many locker rooms.

Boring.

Totally unerotic.

Oddly out of place. He dropped the towel again, covering it.

Lisa expected him to say something.

Bradley shrugged. "Yeah, it's a cock. Can I go back to enjoying all the rest of your body now?"

He lay beside her, taking her in his arms. When they kissed again, she slowly relaxed, at last.

Bradley let his hand roam. She really had a fantastic body. Presumably surgery had helped -- he could see a couple small white scars under her breasts and behind an ear -- but she must have looked good beforehand, right?

Rachel had thought so. And Rachel had taste. Rachel liked him, as well as her stunning Amazon of a girlfriend, which proved it, surely?

He reached down to Lisa's toned ass. His own cock stirred. No question about it -- this was a gorgeous woman's ass!

"You're beautiful," he murmured in her ear. She didn't seem convinced. "Seriously, you're attractive as all hell."

"A beautiful freak."

"No! I mean, there's..." He waved vaguely at her genital area. "I mean sure, that part's kinda weird. But ignoring that, look at the rest of you!" He nuzzled her hair. "Awesome face. Soft skin down here. Breasts. Come on, girl, breasts! And then," -- he reached for her bottom again -- "you've got this fantastic ass! And you did suggest what you'd like there..."

He prayed she hadn't changed her mind.

"So you're willing to overlook a dick, is that what you're saying?"

"More than you are, it looks like! You sound... disbelieving?"

"I suppose." She sighed, the air passing over a nipple and making it wrinkle up adorably -- It's just since I," -- she indicated up and down her body -- "either guys have been totally terrified and run away. Or they've been really fascinated, you know what I mean? It's a girl and a cock in one! Bonus! Wahey!"

"Like, they want the cock, not the rest of you? Their loss."

"It's not gay, if it's a woman's cock..."

"That's the stupidest justification I've ever heard. Anyhow, I wasn't into men's dicks, and I'm clearly not into women's ones either, so moving onto the rest of your body... oh, don't cry!"

"It's just moisture. I'm fine."

He kissed the tears away. Then he kissed down her smooth back, and over her amazing round ass. He fetched a warm washcloth, cleaned her crease carefully, and continued those kisses down to her asshole.

He had a brief fear that he'd encounter a hairy crack. Like, again, locker rooms. But no. Lisa's asshole was as cute and tasty as any woman he'd ever rimmed. Wonderful tiny circle of pleasure. The subtle hairs and skin texture changes were similar to Rachel the night before. Or to Emily, before that. Beautiful. Delightful wrinkles under his tongue.

More importantly, the same amazing squeaks and gasps of breath and wriggling, as Lisa responded just like any other woman who liked it in the ass. Like Emily, like Rachel... Happy memories. Bradley's cock responded, back to maximum stiffness in a moment.

"Mm! Yeah!" Her squeal was muffled by the quilt.

Her buttocks pressed against his face, her fleshy scent keeping him rock-hard, that slightly oily ass aroma adding to it. Yes, Bradley decided he had an ass fetish, and that was a very good thing.

He needed to come up for air far too soon. Bradley was loving how she wriggled against his face, cool smooth firmness pressing his cheeks. He kissed one pale ass cheek. "Are you ready for me to use lube? For my fingers, to start."

"Get to it, already!"

"Ah, a demanding woman!" Another one. "Discerning, should I say?" He returned with Emily's tube. "How's that? I'll push in some more. Good for you?"

She shuddered, happily. "Go on. Explore round my arse. You've got lube there already! Fingering would be ace..."

"I thought you'd never ask."

Bradley slathered slick over her crack, getting his face close to see what he was doing.

She made some happy purring sounds. Bradley pressed his middle finger inside her. The firm grip of a woman's hot asshole round his finger never got old. Even if different women felt pretty similar. He smeared his fingertip around her inside.

"Oh!"

"You like that, huh? Good, cos I really like girls who like it in the ass."

"Yeah, that's how I like it... Please?"

She couldn't have been more feminine, nor more of his fantasy. Diving straight into anal, before any other sex? That was kinda hardcore. But then, it wasn't like she had a pussy to take first. He hesitated, before he told her, "Okay, then. Coming up."

"Are you sure?"

That made him certain. "Sure, I'm sure! My libido says you're a beautiful woman. You're a beautiful woman, who wants me to fuck her in the ass. I should just stop thinking right there, right? I mean, is that okay, just not thinking about...?"

"You and me both, sweetheart."

"I guess. Yeah, that. You like that?" He scissored his fingers.

"Fuck, yeah," she swore.

"Oh yeah. I'm gonna fuck your sweet little girlie ass. Mm-hm. Open that. Roll it on me." He held the base of his cock, keeping himself hard. "Yeah. Are you ready, lady?" The words sounded like his hokey attempts at being a whore for Emily, but tonight there was no hidden meaning.

"Yes!"

"Okay, here goes... Man! You're so tight..." It was a cliché, but the pressure of a woman's ass round his cock was a pleasant shock, every time.

Lisa moaned, deeply moved. He moved, deep within her.

He appeared to be hitting the spot. He'd heard of prostates; put the thought away and reached for her breast. Rounded, it hung down into his hand just like a breast should. She breathed sharply as he brushed her nipple.

"Good?"

"So good. Yeah!"

She was on all fours beneath him, pressing her ass into him, making his cock sink inside her. His shaft became invisible, then partly on view again, then her soft skin nestled back into his hair round his cock.

They strengthened their rhythm, moving together, harder, faster. She was taking his cock as firm as he could give it, a regular pounding demanded by her rocking movements. Her curves of her ass accepted him between them like they'd been designed that way.

The idea that they might have been, like she might have considered that when having surgery, make her even sexier. Forget any extra bits; Lisa was the sexiest woman he'd ever met. Or at least in the last week, up against very stiff competition from both Emily and Rachel. Though what clinched it was simply that his cock was being clenched by Lisa's tight ass right now...

"God, I'm gonna..."

"Good," she growled, her voice husky and deep.

He did. She gasped in satisfaction.

Lisa bucked slightly, and groaned. Then squirmed, rubbing her groin on the bedcover.

She twisted to try to look at him. They slid apart. By the time Bradley returned from disposing of the rubber, Lisa was under the covers. It was cold, he supposed.

Then he realised she was hiding. Nervous? Maybe.

The only thing to do was to slip under the eiderdown himself and cuddle her.

Kissing was another good option. It was really good, in fact.

After a good long while, Lisa pushed herself far enough away to tell him, "Thanks. You're a really special guy, you know that?"

Bradley objected. "I'm not special."

"You are."

"No, I'm not some magic special guy. I'm just a 'chilled dude', who loves anal."

"Just 'chilled'? I thought Americans couldn't do understatement? Along with thinking irony is 'like bronzy and silvery, but less shiny'?"

He laughed. "Hey, we're not all dumb! Some of us have even seen Blackadder! No, seriously, I guess, a couple years ago? Yeah, then, I'd have run. But since then? I've ended up having some amazing experiences, just because I didn't freak out."

"Do tell." She curled a finger round his, and looked expectant as they lay cosily, side by side.

"Okay. Once upon a time, a year ago, I came over to London for a month. I'd recently broken up with my girlfriend. And I'd never done anal sex. That wasn't the cause of the break-up, but it sure didn't help!

"On my last day, this babe I've been working with has split from her guy, so my leaving party had her drowning her sorrows, and her friends telling me to be a gentleman. Take her home and 'cheer her up', you know what I mean? They couldn't have been more obvious about it!

"It turned out, one reason he dumped her is she wanted anal sex, and he hated the idea. So she tells me it's that time of the month -- I later found out she was lying -- and asks if I'll take her up the ass instead..."

"How could you not?"

"Exactly. I mean, before, I'd have politely suggested another day if there might be any blood involved, but then, it was a now-or-never deal! So, real quick, I got over myself. She rode with me to the airport in the morning. It was awesome.

"Then, five months later, we both went to this conference in Vegas. She was speaking at it. After a false start -- she was interrupted by a phone call from her boss -- we're going at it in her hotel room. I'm inside her, on the hotel bed, thinking I've made it in life! When her sort-of boyfriend walks in."

"Oh, my god!"

"Yeah. And the guy's all horribly English about it. 'Don't mind me,' he says. And he gets her to give him a blow job, while I'm still mid-fuck! I was trying to keep going, anyways. Then we had a drink, and she sucked me off while he took her. That's not all! Then he gave me a tutorial in how to eat her out!"

"Mad!"

"Oh, sure, the guy's totally nutbar! Richie. But he likes seeing her happy. So then, this conference, I've run out of travel funding, so she said I could share this room -- she'd be in his most of the time. She paid for most of my flight, too. She said she'd cover my expenses during the week, and I could pay her back in sexual favours. We were joking about me being her rent boy. It was a joke, but it's been kinda hot.

"Actually, really hot! Then, yesterday, she had to go somewhere. So she suggested she could subcontract me, and I should go off with Rachel."

"That Rachel? You really did? You lucky sod!"

"Oh yeah... I made sure her girlfriend would be okay with it. We talked to her, after, and get this -- the pair of them want to meet up with me for a weekend in New York, in a couple months." He was very much looking forward to that, though also nervous about what they might want to do with him. Then Bradley interpreted Lisa's comment. "Hey! Do you mean you like women, too?"

Lisa blushed. "Mm. It's why I couldn't get surgery on the NHS -- partly. Back when I first got to a gender clinic -- ten years ago, now -- if you said you'd be anything other than straight after, they wouldn't approve any surgery for you. Said you were just 'in denial' about your sexuality. Though how they justified that for bisexuals, I don't know."