I Say Ass, You Say Arse...

Emily came forward on her knees, met his eyes, then sank her mouth down over his cock.

He could never compare blow jobs he received. The most recent was always the best, but he would swear this innocent-looking English woman going down on him really had to be the best ever. Above her head, he could look along her back and watch her butt rocking, as she sucked him off.

Oh man, he was in heaven, just staring alternately at that butt and that face!

He felt his balls clench. He couldn't decide whether coming in her mouth would be the best thing ever, or a bitter disappointment as then they'd have to wait before he could get to her ass.

She'd pre-empted him, squeezing his base harshly so he groaned, dragged away from the edge.

"Don't want you too carried away," she informed him sweetly.

"I could get hard again," he moaned, frustrated.

"I'm sure you would. But I haven't had anyone fuck me up the bum in over a year, and I'm not waiting any longer!" She did that barely-restrained hysterical grin again. "Don't worry, we can wash you off and I can finish sucking you after..."

It was just as well she was still gripping his base so firmly.

She rummaged in a drawer of the cluttered nightstand, clearly 'her' side of the bed as 'his' was empty. Plastic pump bottle dumped on the bed, various squares scattered by it.

Emily pulled herself to the head of the bed and lay back, her legs wide, that wonderful pussy on full display, and, below it, a dark shadow promising amazing mysterious delights.

Bradley flipped himself into his front and put his face back between her thighs to closely examine what he was being offered.

"Come on! Play with me!"

"Play with what? You've got me spoiled for choice, ma'am!" If she could tease him, he could tease too.

"Get some lube on my arsehole now, and bloody play with it!"

"Ohhh..." He faked dumb. He got a blob of the gloopy lubricant on one finger and brought it to an inch from her hole.

"Go on!" She tried to lift her groin up to him, but he held her in place with both forearms.

"All in good time, honey," he admonished. He lowered his chin to the sheet and gazed at the darker skin all round her hole, goose-flesh making it a fascinating texture. At the center, that tiny wrinkled brown ring, so tight but so stretchy -- or so he'd been told.

In awe at his first welcoming asshole, he tentatively stuck out his tongue and took a delicate lick.

"Oh, my god," Emily breathed. "More!"

Bradley tugged her body down closer to his face and applied his tongue again. It was a strange taste, sort of familiar from going down on women, but with a hint of meaty oiliness and soap scent that was all new but not unpleasant.

Emily's small squeaks of pleasure were far from unpleasant either, but he figured she was gagging for more just like he was. More of that goo on his finger -- two fingers -- and now, time to penetrate a woman's ass.

Her ring seemed to open easily to let in his sticky finger, so he was surprised by how tightly it then clung onto him. He actually needed force to move his forefinger at all. Would his cock actually fit?

"Come on, another one," she pleaded.

If that what she wanted, and she thought it would fit...

He added more slick to his middle finger, pulled the first most of the way out, was somewhat relieved to see it looked clean, then tried to wriggle both fingers together into Emily's ass.

It was like a portal flickered into existence for a microsecond, just long enough to swallow his fingers. He could move them, just, but all her flesh held him in place. Like the heavy weighted blanket his young cousin had. He bent both digits, and Emily made a soft keening noise, the sexiest sound he'd heard in months.

Unlike watching porn, he knew, 100%, Emily really was loving it. Loving him in her ass.

"Please, fuck me," she whimpered.

He swung his cock to his fingers, and compared the widths.

"Not yet, baby. Another finger, then you'll be ready."

He had no idea, really -- if she thought she could taken his cock now she was probably right, having the experience, but stretching her as wide as his cock before applying that blunt instrument seemed wise. It was hardly like she was suffering during the wait.

Okay, she might be muttering under her breath about exquisite torture and calling him a fucking bastard, but that was in a good way, right?

He considered his ring finger, then went for a different plan. One fat thumb could press lovingly inside her. Emily's arched back and groan made it clear that that hit some good spot.

Then he pressed his other thumb to join in. And then spread his thumbs apart.

"Oh!" That was a scream. A good one.

When he blew gently in between his thumbs, the pitch of her squealing went ultrasonic.

"You sure are an ass slut, aren't you girl? I can't blame you. What an awesome asshole, all sweet and wanting to play. Yeah, baby?"

She seemed semi-conscious, murmuring to the ceiling, "yeah, I'm an ass slut, a great big ass slut..."

The 'ass' sounded odd from her mouth, but he couldn't say 'arse' with a straight face to suggest she say that instead. "Hell yeah, the most beautiful wonderful ass slut in England! And a great big beautiful asshole." A last check that she was sober enough to know what she was doing, despite all his distraction. "You want that wonderful asshole filled with my cock, honey?"

"Fuck, yeah."

"Come on, tell me what you want. Do you want my dick?"

A smile across the unfocused face.

"Hell yeah. Your cock in my tight wee arsehole, you gripping my arse... Just fucking do it now!"

She'd shouted at him, gentle sweet Emily. She'd become her alter ego superhero, awesome ass-slut Emily...

Only one thing to do. Get his cock clad in a condom, slicked up with her silicon lube, and do what she demanded.

Her gaze was focused again, now, on his cock.

He was ready. Would it live up to expectations?

Bradley had no idea if he'd prefer anal to pussy, but was sure this was going to be good.

"Are you ready?" she asked him.

"Yes. You? Tell me what you want, how to do it... How do you like it?"

"Just slide forward. Oh yeah, feel that, the end of your cock on my hole?" She wriggled, and as ever, he loved his cock-tip getting attention. Any touch from anything not his own hand.

"Good, right," she told him. "And I'm all wet and slippery for you. So, just push gently, one, two, and go..."

Once more, her hole had magically stretched, to allow a good inch of his cock inside, now with her walls holding him tight. It was... so intimate, her body accepting yet controlling him.

"Don't get too excited yet, she warned. Now, just keep rocking,. pushing maybe half an inch more... Slowly! Slowly does it, little more..."

She rocked on him, gasping, every few seconds somehow gaping wider for him to slide further. The frill of flesh surrounding him was now stretched, not wrinkled as it had been, and the fact that that tiny ring was changed beyond recognition by his cock seemed totally obscene.

Sick, twisted, disgusting, perverted, and totally, utterly wonderful.

"Oh god," Emily moaned, thrusting herself up against him, desperate to fill her arsehole with his meaty prick. "More! Shove it in!"

Cautiously, he pushed himself in further.

That feeling, that slide as his cock slipped between tight muscle... that was what he'd dreamed of for so long, only better, smoother, a stronger hold...

"Oh yeah!"

He watched Emily's face, normally so polite, almost impassive, now red and panting, and she was begging him.

"Please, just fuck me? Hard?"

There was no man on earth who could resist that. No matter how delightful the slow slipping inside her was, his cock responded instantly, bypassing any brain function.

With Emily's knees bent up and hugged to his chest, Bradley stepped up and rocked himself happily against her, his balls tapping the base of her ass cheeks and air wafting over them, his entire length held firm in her wonderful ass, his eyes flicking from Emily's delighted face to her lovely tits, all beautiful.

She moaned more intently. "Braaad..." went the groan, all beyond her control.

And that was it. He couldn't help it, coming harder than he had in years, thrusting deep inside this perfect place.

He felt more aftershocks than usual, her spasms round him triggering more of his own, and all he could say was, "Emily..."

He collapsed in sweat upon her. There was a minute of silence.

Then she made a small giggle under him. "Mmm. So good. Was that good for you?

"Uh, what? Yeah!"

"Just checking. Was it 'OK but now you've done it once, you'll stick to cunt, thanks very much'?

He shook his head, feeling still spellbound, and more so when she carefully removed his rubber, careful not to spill it en route to the wastebasket under the bed.

"No, that was... Awesome. Just awesome, in every sense." He knew she'd understand. "I was just thinking, I'd be happy to do that again, any time."

"Really?" He did love her smile. "How long until you're hard again?"

He shrugged. "Who knows? With this kind of incentive, ten, twenty minutes rather than half an hour?"

"I'll see if I can speed it up," she offered. Because," - that was a blush again - "I have this desperate urge to be on all fours, offering my arse up to a great big cock, like a bloody great slut, and you're the only one who can help!"

"Oh no! Well ma'am, take it from me: you are a bloody great slut, and your ass is first in line when I'm ready for any plowing... Literally bloody, I suppose. They say orgasm helps with period cramps -- are you feeling better now?"

She seemed confused a moment. "Oh, that. Worked a charm. I couldn't feel better! Not until you start ramming me, that is..."

"You know, I'd started to wonder if girls who liked anal were just a myth, you know, some would go along with it, but the screaming enjoyment was just something you see in porn..."

"Nuh-uh. I know some others. We've all bemoaned the lack of interest from most menfolk."

"That's just tragic. Well, if they're going to be at Cell Sciences in Vegas in October, let me know."

"I might. If you're nice to me. You look like you could be very nice to me, right now." She meant, he was hard again.

"Porn star dialogue? Okay, turn over, ass slut. He could tell they were both creating new associations -- ass-ociations? - for the word in her mind. He'd always liked the word, but now he suspected just hearing someone whisper 'I'm a slut' in his ear would leave him hard and aching.

Such a great butt! Smooth, soft ass-cheeks... He rubbed his hands and face over them, then down her crack, then pulled her cheeks apart.

If only he had a third hand to hold a camera! Ah well, other assholes were on the internet and looked similar. What made this one special was it was desperate to be fucked.

By him.

Right now.

She was still all sticky from their previous round, but he squirted generous amounts of lube to be on the safe side, all down the allegedly-lubricated condom. Everything he'd ever heard said not to skimp on that.

She gasped, and wiggled happily, those two round globes up in the air as sexy as all get-out. He'd be a fool not to give her what she craved.

Two fingers, straight in that slightly-stretched pucker, making her gasp and pant.

"Yeah! Now, do it! Fuck me up the arse!"

It was what she wanted.

It was what he wanted.

Bradley thrust into Emily's ass. Arse. Whatever.

This time, they were both shouting and gasping in pleasure. He was balls-deep in a beautiful sexy woman, who was pushing herself into him, gasping about how good he was. She was so tight, so hot, all around him. Her round butt rubbed against him. He could hardly move with the way her glorious asshole was gripping him. The alcohol seemed to return to his head as everything floated again.

He came with a yell, then collapsed on top of her.

He fell asleep.

Bradley awoke, suddenly terrified he'd missed his flight and lost his life's savings.

"Hey there. It's only been, like, five minutes. You OK? Here's your water."

He drank, gratefully. "Man, that was so good!" They both knew he wasn't talking about the water.

"Wasn't it." She scoffed. "I really should have listened to Rach and Marion and dumped the patronising bastard earlier. We could have been doing this all month!"

Bradley thought of his many solitary jerks off, and sighed.

"On the other hand, I'd have been distracted from my work and might not have got those results. So I rather have to take it."

"I suppose."

She glanced sneakily at him. "The night is yet young."

He could see her digital clock. "It's gone two a.m.!"

"So? It's the weekend, and all you're doing later is sitting on a plane. Might as well stay up now and sleep then."

He chuckled. "I cannot refute your argument, ma'am. Did you have anything in mind?"

"A few. A whiskey, a shower. Sucking you off..."

"If you insist. I could cope, I'm sure."

"Good. Then -- might need to wait til morning -- I bet you'd feel great in my cunt..."

He hesitated. "I guess. I could. Didn't you just start bleeding, though?"

He wasn't expecting to see her blush again. Maybe she liked it, blood and stuff everywhere? It was her bed, after all; he could oblige if she really wanted...

"Ah. I have a small confession to make. Er... right... Sorry. I didn't have my period at all. I just really, really wanted to be fucked up the arse..."

The implications of this slowly percolated through his tired mind. "Uh huh. Guess that Ben was right on one thing, then. You really are a sick ass slut."

Then he whispered in her ear, "that's sick as in really good, like the kids say, and slut in a really, really good way..."

Emily grinned back at him. "Yeah. And like we say about the Yanks, over-paid, over-sexed and over here -- none of which are bad..."

He sighed. "How many times do I have to tell you, I'm not a 'Yank' any more than your Welsh friend is English?"

"I know. I'm just 'yanking' your chain... and just be glad I'm not calling you a Seppo. Come on! Septic tank, Yank..."

Bradley was not going to miss rhyming slang, most of which he swore was made up on the spur of the moment just to confuse visiting Americans. "You know, that great ass of yours might look even better spanked red..."

"Promises, promises," she simpered, as erotic as any fake student in a porno. "Shower first?"

They had the shower together, and the whiskey, and he fell asleep as soon as he came in her mouth, but they made up for it in the morning. He was amazed she could walk after what she'd got him to do to her. He was exhausted, despite his pride in how many times she'd managed to coax his cock back into action. She went with him in the cab to the airport, 'to make sure he didn't fall asleep,' she said.

He thought of something. "Those results of yours. They'd be worth presenting at Cell Sciences, wouldn't they?"

Emily nodded. "I'll submit an abstract next week. Verity thinks I should be able to get at least a slot for a poster presentation. Assuming I've submitted my thesis by then, I should be eligible for funding for the travel."

"Okay. I mean, don't save yourself or anything, but... it would be good to see you in Vegas?"

She gave him a goodbye hug. "Yeah. You too. Of course, 'what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas'!"

Bradley smirked and waved as he departed for his flight.