I Tried as Hard as I Could

So that week I took care of the money, contacted customers, left early each morning and came home late at night. After everyone left Friday morning, I packed up my things, took my money, and got ready for Phoenix. I also had about twelve thousand in cash from my cleaning jobs that I took also. By eleven that morning I was all packed up and ready to go. I put my wedding ring and phone on a note I left on Jenny's dresser.

Jenny

I heard what the girls said about me last Saturday and I saw you on your dinner date that evening. I tried as hard as I could. I'm sorry.

Tom

I finally got home Friday night after a four-hour meeting with the Board of Trustees. I was hoping this would be my chance to talk to Tom about what might be bothering him. I've hardly seen him all week. He's not said one word to me or the girls as he's been up and gone early every morning and he comes in late at night. He goes to the guest room bed saying he's sick. Even our daughters have asked me about him. They are used to him fixing their breakfast every morning and checking on them at night. None of us has talked to him since last Saturday morning. Yes Saturday, that's the day I make the biggest mistake of my life. I went on a date for dinner with a guy that's been pursuing me. I can make all the excuses I want. He was an alumnus and a big donor, but I knew what he thought when I finally accepted to go out to dinner with him. John Edwards is his name. He's a forty-eight-year-old bachelor. Very wealthy, good looking and charming. Really the temptation was too much to handle. I've been hit on plenty of times in the past, but this time I got caught up on what this lady's man was telling me. I even went to the salon that day to have my hair and nails done like I was going to a prom or something. A soon as I sat down with him, I realized I was doing a horrible thing. I had a man at home, who by the way was better looking than my date, that had devoted his whole life to me and our family. Even though John expected a lot more, I got out of there as soon as I possibly could while still being polite to a donor. The guilt has been overwhelming ever since that night. John has called twice this week to continue, but I told him I was a married woman and it would never happen again.

I got home and didn't see Tom's car there, so I guess I would just wait up to talk. The girls were at a party and then they were going to a friend's house to spend the night. So, I went up to our bedroom to get out of my work clothes when I saw Tom's note on my dresser. It was under his phone and wedding ring. When I read the note I almost fainted. I realized I had been caught on my stupid date. I must have broken my husbands' heart. But what did he mean by hearing what my daughters said about him?

I called Lucy right away.

"Lucy, is your sister at the party with you?"

"Yes mom, what's up?"

"I want both of you to come home now!"

"But mom, we're having a good time and Maggie's talking to her new boyfriend."

"Listen girl," I screamed. "I'm only going to say this once! Both of you better be home in fifteen minutes or else!" I disconnected the call, but I was still shaking from the reality that my husband had left me.

The girls arrived ten minutes later.

"Mom, what's going on? I've never heard you yell like that, ever."

"Girls, your dad has left us and left this note behind with his phone and wedding ring." I gave the girls a moment to read the short note before I said, "What did you say about your father Saturday?"

Katie answered, "Mom, we didn't say anything about him Saturday."

"No, that's not true Katie." Lucy started to cry and said, "Don't you remember, we were out on the patio and Jan asked about dad? If we're honest we said some really mean things about him. Jan even defended dad, but we continued on saying dreadful things."

"What exactly did you say?" They related the entire conversation as best they could remember. I knew then between what they said and I did, we probably destroyed our family. But I needed to let the girls know how bad the situation was, so I told them about my date.

After I told the girls of my sin, the three of us cried and cried. We talked well into the night, not just about that Saturday, about the last year in our home. We had taken Tom for granted and disrespected him terribly. That Saturday was just the culmination of the way we had treated him for a long time.

I'd been working in Phoenix for four weeks and haven't had any contact with my family. I did get a new phone to call my mom every week. The new job had been hard, but I feel I can see changes already. I've cut a lot of dead wood and brought in some new people. It's funny how when you get a new sheriff in town and you let go some bad employees, everyone else gets into gear. The hardest part has been to upgrade the food. I've had a lot of meetings with the kitchen staff and they're finally starting to get with the program. I had to let the regional kitchen manager go, because he was useless. Fighting us at every turn. I brought in the best chef from my old area and he's excited about his new job. I've had meetings with all the wait staff to tell them exactly what I expect. How to approach a table, how to explain our menu items along with any specials. Then how to enter orders properly, serve the food and follow up during the meal. If they can't do the job the exact way I tell them, they'll be gone. These restaurants have been underperforming. We don't have time to play games.

It was on a Sunday morning in late August that I had a knock on my apartment door. I had been up, had my coffee and just gotten out of the shower. To my surprise when I opened the door stood my wife and two daughters. I was curious how they found me, because I told no one where I was going, not even my mom.

"Hello ladies, it's quite a surprise to see you."

"Tom, please invite us in. We need to talk to you," pleaded Jenny.

"Sure, come on in. You have bags. Do you plan to stay for a while?"

As they were coming into my apartment, both girls dropped their bags and jumped into my arms. Lucy cried, "Please dad, forgive us. We didn't mean any of those awful words. We were acting like two teenage bitches. We love you so much. Please give us another chance."

"Now now, "I comforted them. "Let's sit and talk about things. Even though I'm working really hard, I'm in a much better place mentally than when I left." I turned and looked at Jenny. Though she had disrespected me and broke my heart, I still thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. "Jenny, I really am surprised to see you. I honestly thought you had moved on and I was maybe doing you a favor?"

"Tom, please don't think any of those things. That was the only time I ever did anything like that and I regretted my decision the moment I sat down with him. And yes, I did tell the girls about that horrible thing I did to you. I promise you I never did anything with the guy. No hugs, no kisses, I never even touched him. Every moment since that night I've regretted my betrayal of your love." Jenny came over and wrapped her arms around me as she cried. "I promise Tom, I will never ever do anything like that again. I've never been a bad wife before, and I'll never lose respect for the life we have built again. Please forgive me."

Jenny composed herself and continued, "We've talked about a lot of things since you left. We know we disrespected you and took you for granted in the worst possible way. And we can't exactly tell you why? I guess the girls were acting like spoiled bitches and I think because of my job, I just became too full of myself. You've always been a great husband and father. You're kind, a good provider, and you do more than your share in our household. And I don't mind saying in front of the girls, that you're a wonderful lover. That's another thing. I've not been as affectionate or intimate with you as you deserve. That will never happen again. "

I just didn't know what to say. I didn't expect this type of remorse. Honestly, I really thought they would be happy without me. I guess that's how bad they hurt my self-esteem. I was trying to form some words to respond when Katie spoke.

"Dad, I also want to tell you how sorry I am. I said some awful things and I didn't mean them. We all want you to forgive us and please come home."

I know they were not going to like my answer. "That is something that isn't going to happen. The job I have was offered to me before that Saturday. It's a real career opportunity for me. I have a big future with this company. They're people that value and respect me. They're also good people who I respect and I want to do a good job for them.

"I don't think you know how hard that job was on me physically and mentally. With your lack of attention to me, and your Sunday all day excursions, I was left isolated form everything. No friends, no family, no social life at all. Here I have a challenging job. My bosses recognize I could burn out with too many hours. So, they discourage that. I have a life here. I've never really had one before. It was always work, work, and more work. Then the people I was doing all the work for stabbed me in the heart. Jenny, not once did you ever show me concern, or ask me to cut back my hours."

Now I know I had given them a lot to think over, but I didn't care. They were the ones that had disrespected me, not the other way around. Any self-respecting man would walk away like I did. How could they expect me to go back to that life?

I knew they had a lot to digest, so I suggested we go to a late brunch and talk about something else. We had a good time and I caught up with everyone about their lives. Not about just the last month, but about the last two years. We had a frank discussion about what the girl's life was like and what were their plans for the future. Jenny talked about her job. I mean, really discussed what she liked, and what she wished she could change. The entertaining at dinners and events were really getting to her. I guess the sparkle had really come off the hobnobbing with the rich and famous. She also talked of her seduction by John Edwards. I think she was embarrassed to talk of this in front of the girls, but she knew this mistake had hurt our family and the girls should learn from this. It was the most frank and open discussion we had ever had as a family.

Even with the honest discussion at brunch, no one wanted to talk about the elephant in the room. After we ate and took a walk, Jenny said she wanted to talk to the girls privately. So, I went back to my apartment to relax and get ready for the week ahead. In my heart, I thought my family would go back home and we would grow apart. Jenny was vice-president at the university and the girls were still in high school with a big group of friends. I meant what I said about not going back to that life. But at the same time, I would miss my family. I didn't think Jenny and I could make our marriage work long distance. I just crossed my fingers and hoped everything worked out, but it was all out of my hands.

It was about three hours later they came back to my apartment. Jenny asked me to sit down. They had a lot to say to me.

Jenny started, "Tom, the girls want to get all of us back together, but they are in high school and they don't want to leave their friends. So, would you be OK with us going back home until both girls graduate high school. Then we would move here to live with you. That way I could continue my work at the university. We could all come out on some holidays and the girls could spend part of their summer vacation in Phoenix. What do you think?"

I thought, "you have got to be kidding me." I was really pissed off now. But I remained calm and took a few moments before I spoke. "So, you want me back in your life, as long as it doesn't interfere with you at all. I'm not interested in your scraps. This is not a showing of love and respect. It's more like another slap in the face. Girls, you can go back to your friends and Jenny, you can go back to your important job and maybe hook up again with John Edwards or someone else like him. I'll ask you to leave now, and forget we ever had this insulting conversation."

Jenny was upset. "Wait Tom, how can you say this to us We're trying to make this work."

"Jenny, girls, I said leave NOW and go back home. I won't say it again!"

With that, the three of them picked up their bags and walked out the door. They were all sobbing as they left. At one time, I would have rushed to console, but not now. They really had no idea how much they had hurt me. I know, they said that they did. And I think in their minds, they felt very remorseful. As long as it didn't affect their lives. They weren't going to make any sacrifice for me that would inconvenience them. As for Jenny, so much for those vows she took years ago. When she realizes I might be important to the family, maybe she'll make a decision based on what I need.

Sunday night came and went. As did Monday, Monday night, and all-day Tuesday. During the day I was super busy at work so it wasn't so bad. But the nights were hard on me. I had trouble sleeping as I was very depressed. Not as bad as when I moved to Phoenix, but still I felt down.

Tuesday night I was pulling into my apartment complex about 6:30. I was astonished that my wife and daughters were sitting on my doorstep waiting for me.

As I approached them, I said, "I didn't expect to see you three back so soon."

Jenny just frowned at me. "Look Tom, we came all the way out here and we still had our head up our ass. Let's go inside so all your neighbors don't know our business."

We went in the apartment and I got drinks for everyone. Jenny continued, "We still had no idea how badly we hurt you I'm ashamed to say. Here's what's going to happen. We're going to start tomorrow looking for a home or condo in an area you like. Then we'll enroll the girls in high school pronto. I'll then go home to get our house ready to move and put it on the market. Then I'll come back here to get our home and lives situated the way you like it. I think it will only take three or four months till we're all comfortable."

"But Jenny," I said, "what about your job. I didn't think you wanted to leave."

"Honey, I've already given notice. When I get out here, I'll make sure we're all happy. Then, if I want, there are several schools out here that would hire me in a minute. Right now, my priority is my family. I had forgotten what is important. I'm ashamed of myself for that. It will never happen again."

Except when the girls were born, I think that was the best moment of my life. "Ladies," I said, "why don't we go out to dinner to celebrate. Although they'll be different, I'm sure our best days are ahead of us."