All Comments on 'I Want to Hold Your Hand'

Have read & re-read this & some of your other stories many times. I Really appreciate your authorship!

Regarding “A Guest” comments: Yes.

And with a +40 year history of the National Education Association/American Federation of Teachers/active Marxist indoctrinations: I am almost surprised (and very thankful!) we have enough literates around to recognize your strong writing, keeping your scores way above “average”.

Another 5 Stars from me, with gratitude for your sharing.

Craig

There was way too much shit in this for the amount of time taken. The fair, the ball, the robbery, the mistaken affair, the police brutality, the time between his initial encounter with her and their meeting at the restaurant. Each one of these events could be the central thrust of a good story. You move from one to the next with minimal care for setting the scene of any of them. The story would have been twice as good if you halved the number of events.

They literally got in a shootout on the way home from a ball. Lightning struck twice. But then on top of that he has a delayed hospital visit where there is a whole paragraph of fear where there is a tension of Kate being afraid Dave is paralyzed. I write that somewhat sarcastically, because each one of those events is a page of drama.

Leading up to the fair you could have established some of the students and had some sort of back and forth where he is debating liking this girl. But instead you dive in where he rescues this girl we don't know then Kate offers one of the students a card which was cringe. Then we're off to the ball with no build up where when he stops by her parents house there is the most ludicrous brother boyfriend interaction I've ever read.

My second read. Oh, still five stars. With a few caveats.

First, it reads like teen fiction. That might've been deliberate. It's still fun! You have to like these characters. But the fast flow and saccharine niceness of everyone but the bad cops could have been taken down just a little.

second, "That gave Kate the time needed to carefully place her shots in the right shoulder of each gunman. The impact of her bullets had caused the men to drop their guns as they fell to the floor in pain." No, just no! Life just ain't like the old 1950s Roy Rogers TV show. if it comes to a shooting situation, any cop or knowledgeable legally-armed citizen knows to go for center mass, the vital organs in the upper torso. Life or death situations do not allow for trick shooting. In such a situation you must just end the threat the simplest, most straightforward way.

good story. fantastic ending!

A nice feel good story

I really, really enjoyed that! I don’t know how I keep finding stories of yours I haven’t read when I thought I’d read them all, but I’m glad I do.

I really enjoyed the premise of this story, but the transitions from paragraph to paragraph were often clumsy. There were a number of instances where the paragraph seemed incomplete from a call and response standpoint, and I as the reader was left hanging. In other cases, some paragraphs jumped right into it the topic without any sort of a leading transition. Finally, the ending just sort of stopped, leaving me hanging big time. It could have been a solid 5, from a story perspective, best I can give is a 3.

Pourquoi Dave au lieu de se sauver pour pleurer dans son coin n'est il pas aller voir Kate et Justin pour demander ce qu'il se passe et éventuellement rompre avec Kate si c'était ce qu'il croyait ce que c'était ???

good

5 stars, amazing how some folks can't just enjoy the well-plotted story.

I loved it!

You don't kiss a guy on the cheek for coming to town to make a donation... in front of his WIFE!!

I gave it 5 stars but wished the ending wasn't rushed.

I was sorry when it ended.

To NonSequitour, it’s a STORY, if the author wants to have Kate kiss Justin on the cheek, in order to further the story, that’s his prerogative. Who says that she wouldn’t kiss a old school friend on the cheek anyway?

I would have given it 5 stars but the ending was rushed and the seques between events were clumsy.

Great story, but deducted 1 star for the following reasons.

1. Early in the story the confusion of switching of main male character's name from Dave to Steve then back to Dave.

2. Story moved a bit too quickly between important events that I, personally, would have liked to see more fleshed out.

3. As others pointed out, NO officer of the law would shoot armed suspects in the shoulder. Double tap, center mass.

4. I agree with others that ending was too rushed.

I loved the story, I just don’t understand why she cancelled her date and didn’t take him with her. It would have made it a foursome. LM

After all these years you're still writing beautiful stories that most of us only dream we could write. And as usual many readers wish your stories lasted just a few more pages just so they could enjoy the story for just a little while longer. Thank you for all you've given us.

Fantastic love story about veterans, police officers(male and Female) and educators, the latter being my first job out of school!

4 Stars on a Good story . I am wondering why Kate didn't tell Dave everything . To Me that showed a lack of Respect to Dave

4 Stars - would have been five had there been punishments for the deputy goons.

One of the problems in reading stories on this site is the mixup authors seem to make, on a regular basis, of interchanging their main characters. This one is no exception as Dave becomes Steve then turns back to Dave a few paragraphs on.

Good story but needs another chapter or two.

Hmmm... You do specialize in hyperbole, and being overblown and predictable. In every aspect of your stories... character, plot, setting, etc. Too brutally exhausting for my old heart. And no challenges for the head. Not my cuppa. But no worries. I did get my money's worth. Thank you. Be well.

Kissing Justin on cheek after returning from the ladies is just weird. The writer created a situation with the kiss, not worth diminishingly the story.

I liked the story and gave it 5. Yeah I get it there were a few inconsistences. So what, it was still a great story. Not to deep and I got all the punch lines. lol

In the first part I was confused as to who the main character was,,, was it Dave or Steve,,, the kiss with the baseball player was off big time and why would she do that after she told Dave that he didn’t know who she was,,, all in all with those things it was a good 4⭐️ story

Generally a good tale. Four stars.

JPB

most of your stories are very well written even if you have to resort to song titles and lines to name them.

Only a 3 because it's an unfinished introduction to the rest of the story. Good start but the finish sucks big time.

I know you probably feel like some the readers are picking nits with the ending, but after a really well written story the denouement felt hurried and weak. Take another shot at an ending revision and you’ll have a #5. By the way, I think John Grisham also wraps up too many of his books in one or two pages. Doesn’t work for me.

Ending was too short. There's a lot left open, so an epilog would have made it perfect. Still good, just not great.

Good writing, nice plot and the rest will be history. Don't agree with the ending comments. Every romance ends with the lovers finally ending up together or dead. After that it's not called a romance story.

The Lady in Red became a soap, i think your better at this.

One thing kept buggin me:

If you catch someone's hand when they slap you, that's usually with your cross hand. So his right will catch her right and his left her left. OR, if u r very well ttained, you can catch her right with ur left and vv. Either way you end up in a position where you need to brake her arms if you wanna bring 'em behind her back. Moving up and behind her head would be more credible, because that's actually possible in real reality.

Tx 4 great stories.

I LIKE A LOT THIS KIND OF STORY. WELL DONE.

Who is Steve who seems to replace Dave at the end of page 1 and the beginning of page 2?

Really great story one of your best. Very well written with great characters and a very good tight plot. BardnotBard

Excellent story.I wouldn't complain if it had been longer.

To paraphrase the profoundly wise Cheech and Chong ."Steve isn't here man",although ironically Dave is.

Why should Dave apologise to Kate,she caused the problem by lying about going out with girl friends?.He should tackle her about her dishonesty.Would have liked to have known how he dealt with the three cops and what happened to them.

Chief Mason apologises for the dastardly conduct of his policemen and even releases Dave. But we are not told what happens to Holden and his two goons. Were they arrested and sentenced? Or kicked out of the force? Or are they just reprimanded and left to carry on their nonsense another day with another man? After all they are all policemen, aren't they and have to stick together?

I liked the story and loved how the kids supported their teacher (even against Kate) — that felt very legit. The final scene at Dave’s apartment with his family was brilliant. The kiss with the pro baller didn’t make sense, however. It felt out of character for Kate to dress up so “hot” for that setting, and to kiss Bascom after simply returning from the restroom made zero sense from a narrative standpoint. I understand why you needed something to generate that energy— maybe she should have just been arriving to join the group and got warmer than expected greeting? Regardless, the overall experience of the story took a hit for me because of that. The next time you’re in a tough situation like that, I would encourage you to delay posting and maybe discuss the situation with friends or fellow writers rather than post such an incongruous scene.

But that’s just my opinion.

I think all the comments about the Kiss to the baseball player go away if you make it clear that Brittany was there too (probably she was in the booth on the side closest to the students and Dave and they couldn't see her). Then, the innocent kiss on the cheek is exactly that, an innocent kiss on the cheek.

Easy to me assumptions, anther read of this great story.

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