tagCelebrities & Fan FictionI'm Not Jimbo Bond

I'm Not Jimbo Bond


Jim stared down into the bottom of his empty beer glass. It had been a shitty day for him and everything had gone wrong.

"Same again," he growled to the bartender as he scratched his big beer belly through his grubby flannel shirt. Jim was in his late forties and worked construction, he lived alone and his after work beer at O'Flaherty's Irish Tavern was pretty much the highlight of his day.

"Cheers," Jim said, punctuating his comment with a loud burp as Bill, the bartender filled his glass with the dark Irish stout that Jim favoured.

The door to the pub opened and Jim glanced over his shoulder at the newcomer, scratching his greasy hair at the same time. To his surprise it was a woman, and a very beautiful one at that.

She was tall, with long dark hair and a stunning face, with fine, almost delicate features. The brunette was dressed in a black sequined cocktail dress that was quite short, stopping above mid-thigh and leaving her incredibly long, slim legs on display. She wore strappy black stiletto heeled shoes and was carrying a black clutch-purse that like her dress was covered in sparkling sequins. The front of her dress had a low, scooped neckline that displayed a good portion of a pair of sizeable breasts, and her considerable cleavage immediately drew Jim's gaze. All in all, the glamorous beauty looked very out of place in the dingy bar.

Jim's mesmerised gaze followed her long legs and the seductive sway of her hips as she walked straight across the room to stand at the bar right beside Jim.

The buxom brunette completely ignored the bartender, instead turning to face a rather stunned looking Jim.

"Let's get out of here," she said to him, nodding her head towards the door.

Jim's eyes went wide, was he dreaming? Was this gorgeous woman actually trying to pick him up? And she wasn't exactly beating around the bush either, coming straight out and asking him to leave with her.

He was too shocked to reply, his mouth hanging open as he gaped at the elegant, curvaceous lady.

She smirked at his lack of reply. "Well?"

"Oh...ah... yeah," Jim stammered, but managed to nod in agreement with her request.

The mysterious beauty's smirk went even wider as she turned and headed towards the door. Jim, still in shock, followed after her, leaving his beer untouched.

The striking brunette led Jim towards a yellow sports car parked right outside. She spun around and tossed the keys to Jim.

"I assume you want to drive?" she said.

Jim fumbled and dropped the keys, still in a serious state of shock. Things like this didn't happen to guys like him. He reached down with a trembling hand and picked up the keys, then took another look at the car. It was a Lamborghini!

"You want me to drive that?" he asked her.

The woman shrugged, still smiling playfully. "Sure, let's go."

Jim decided he didn't need to be asked twice. He quickly hurried around to the driver's door and hopped inside. The gorgeous brunette slipped into the passenger seat, the hem of her dress riding up slightly and flaunting even more of her long, sleek thighs, causing Jim to swallow noisily. Fuck, she was sexy.

Jim turned the key in the ignition and the powerful Lamborghini flared to life with a thunderous roar followed by the low throaty rumble of the engine idling. "Oh, wow!" groaned Jim in admiration of the sports car. Never in his life had he ever imagined he'd get the chance to drive a Lamborghini.

Gripping the steering wheel eagerly, with a big grin on his face, Jim pulled out onto the street and roared away from the bar, testing the speed and torque of the amazing automobile.

As he cruised down the street his thoughts of the car were suddenly chased away when he felt the woman's hand touch his inner thigh.

Jim swallowed as the beautiful brunette slid her hand up his leg and cupped his crotch in her soft palm. He glanced down to look at her hand grabbing the bulge of his groin, and noticed a little nervously that his jeans were rather grubby and stained next to the flawless beauty of the buxom brunette beside him.

"Well, well, well," murmured the woman as she squeezed his crotch. Jim realised that he was semi-hard from driving the Lamborghini. "I see you're as eager as ever Jimbo."

"Oh, man," squeaked Jim as she massaged his cock through his jeans. He didn't remember telling her his name, but at this particular point he didn't really care anymore about the oddness of the situation.

The woman unzipped his fly. "Wh...what are you doing?" blurted Jim in alarm as he stopped for a red light.

"Shhh!" the woman silenced him as she reached into his pants, fishing around in his underwear with her soft hand and seizing his cock. She smiled in apparent satisfaction as she pulled Jim's semi-erect organ out into the open. "Just like I remembered," she said.

Jim was about to ask her what she remembered when the gorgeous woman dipped her head down into his lap.

"Oh fucking hell!" cried out Jim in shock as he felt her warm lips wrap around the end of his knob. This gorgeous angel was actually giving him a blowjob while he drove her Lamborghini through town.

"Mmm," moaned the woman in appreciation as she began to bob her head in Jim's lap, the tight seal of her lips sliding up and down his rapidly stiffening penis.

"Oh God!" groaned Jim as he felt her tongue swipe around the head of his cock. She pulled down on the foreskin of his dick and licked all around the tip of his shaft, cradling it on her tongue as if it was an ice-cream. The voluptuous beauty ran her tongue down the length of his shaft and tenderly kissed Jim's scrotum before briefly sucking on each of his swollen testicles.

"I love your big cock Jimbo," the woman gasped as she sunk her mouth back down on him, letting her lips slid all the way down to the very base of his erection, her nose buried in his pubic hair.

"Ah!" Jim gasped, almost steering the Lamborghini off the road. His entire cock was buried inside the brunette's glorious mouth.

The woman seemed to notice Jim's alarm and she lifted her head up out of his lap, licking her lips as if she had just been feasting on the finest caviar.

"I guess we should put little Jimbo away for now," she said, fondly stroking his cock a few times in her soft hand before tucking him back inside Jim's pants.

She guided Jim to the hotel where he reluctantly handed over the keys of the Lamborghini to the valet before following the curvy, mysterious woman into the hotel and up to her room.

The room turned out to be the most expensive suite in the hotel, the penthouse on the top floor. It was luxuriously decorated with the most amazing furniture and general extravagance, but right now it was the last thing on Jim's mind.

As soon as they entered the room, the sexy brunette was on her knees in front of Jim, once again fishing out his erect cock and quickly stuffing it into her hot mouth.

"Oh, this is fantastic!" Jim breathed as he stood in the centre of the room, the perfect young woman servicing him on her knees. The busty brunette's soft lips moved rapidly up and down on his erection, her tongue working wonders on the underside of his hard shaft as her cheeks hollowed and she powerfully sucked on his length.

After a couple of minutes of frantic sucking she let his cock pop out from her pouty lips and she glanced up at Jim.

"Why aren't you fucking my mouth like you normally do?" she asked him.

"Um," Jim stammered, still very confused by everything that was going on. It was finally dawning on him that perhaps this was a case of mistaken identity as the woman seemed to thinks he knew him. Jim however, was not about to shatter that illusion and spoil the best opportunity of his life. "I was just about to," he replied lamely. "Um, fuck your mouth that is."

Jim had only ever had a few blowjobs in his life, and he'd only ever seen face fucking in pornos, but the concept was definitely appealing.

He reached down and grabbed the top of the brunette's head in both hands and lined his stiff cock up with her mouth. As he pulled her head in towards his crotch and thrust forward with his hips, the woman willingly let his cock shove its way back into her mouth.

"Oh yeah!" groaned Jim as his penis slid across her tongue and pushed into the back of her mouth.

Jim tightened his grip on her dark hair and started to pump his cock in and out of her mouth, his hips sawing back and forth as he started to vigorously fuck her willing mouth. Jim thrust forward, deep into her throat, his balls slapping her chin with each thrust. It felt absolutely incredible, the most amazing thing he'd ever done.

"That's it, suck that cock!" Jim grunted as he really started to get into the spirit of things, shoving his cock into her mouth at full force. With each surge of his hips her chin would touch his balls and he drew back only half way before thrusting back down into her throat, keeping his cock in the wet clutches of her mouth the entire time.

"I'm gonna cum soon!" he groaned as he humped away at the busty brunette's face.

This seemed to concern the woman as she lifted up her hands and leveraged Jim's hands off her head. Jim reluctantly let his erection pop out of her mouth, wondering if he'd taken things a bit too far and upset the gorgeous seductress.

"We can't have you cumming too soon," said the woman. "I want to feel you in my pussy first."

"Oh wow," groaned Jim. The concept of actually getting to fuck this beautiful creature hadn't even occurred to him yet.

The brunette smiled seductively at him as she stood up and let him across the hotel room to the bedroom. As she walked, she reached up behind her and unzipped the back of her slinky black cocktail dress. As she stepped through the threshold of the bedroom the dress slipped off her shoulders and fell to the floor. Beneath she was completely naked, not a stitch of underwear on.

"Oh my God!" moaned Jim in admiration as her perfect buttocks came into view. Her ass was firm and round, two perfectly taut sphere's that it looked like you could bounce penny's off, but at the same time they were round and lush and inviting.

The naked goddess climbed up onto the bed and crawled forward on her hands and knees. She glanced back over her shoulder at Jim, who was still standing stunned at the foot of the bed, his erect penis jutting straight out towards her.

"Hurry up and stick your big cock in me Jimbo," urged the woman.

Jim almost tripped as he hasty leapt onto the bed behind her. He reached out and grabbed hold of the woman's perfect buttocks, squeezing her ass as he shuffled closer and lined his cock up with her cunt.

"I can't believe this is really happening," he muttered in a low voice as he slowly pushed forward. Jim let out a long low groan of bliss as his cock slid smoothly up inside the woman's clutching pussy.

The woman glanced over her shoulder towards Jim once again. "That's not the hole you normally want," she told him.

Jim froze in confusion. He looked down, glancing from his cock buried in her sweet snatch to his hands kneading the firm cheeks of her ass when he realised what she was referring to. "Oh," he murmured with a nervous swallow.

Jim drew his rigid dick out of the mystifying woman's pussy and aimed it a little higher. "Thank you God," he murmured quietly as he pushed forward, forcing his dick into the woman's tiny hole.

"Ah!" she cried out as Jim pushed his cock deeper into her bottom. Jim's hands tightly clutching at her buttocks as he stuffed his thick member into her.

"Fucking hell that's tight!" he groaned as he started to fuck her, pumping his erection into her from behind. Jim reached underneath her to grope her big tits as he enthusiastically banged her perfect ass from behind.

The woman was moaning with apparently pleasure as Jim ravaged her tight orifice. He'd never done a woman up the butt before and the sensations were incredible. If her blowjob had pushed him right to the edge of climaxing, this was sure to push him over.

"That's it Jimbo, shove it in me hard!" groaned the woman. The volume of her moans suggested she was enjoyed being rogered as much as Jim was enjoying giving it to her. With each thrust of his hips, Jim's big beer belly jiggled wildly.

"Fuck! I'm gonna shoot!" he gasped, his hips slapping against her buttocks as he pumped against her.

This time the woman didn't stop him. He arched his back as his cock surged in her ass, his balls churned and a heavy load of spunk spurting from the tip of his dick and filling the beautiful brunette's ass. The woman cried out in pleasure as Jim orgamsed, the plump construction worker bucking against her as he spent himself in her perfect bottom.

"Holy hell! That was the best fuck of my life!" groaned Jim happily as his completely spent penis slipped out of the woman's magnificent ass.


Jim woke up the next morning completely bewildered, momentarily forgetting where he was. He sat up in the plush king size bed and glanced around the luxurious hotel room and it all came flooding back.

Apparently buggering the sexiest woman he'd ever laid eyes on hadn't been a dream, although it was a dream come true.

Jim turned and saw that he was alone in the bed with no sign of the mysterious woman. Sitting on the pillow was a note.

Thanks for a wonderful night Mr Bond

I can't wait for another chance to suck on your big cock



"Wow!" breathed Jim, feeling rather proud of himself. He took the note and slipped it into the pocket of his flannel shirt which was lying beside the bed.

Jim poked around the lavish hotel suite for a few minutes but found no sign of Anastasia, his mysterious lover, not even any clothes or luggage. Giving up he had a quick shower and got dressed. Fortunately it was a Saturday so he didn't have to get to work.

Jim left the suite, still grinning like an idiot and headed down to the lobby, hoping the receptionist at the desk might be able to tell him something about the woman. Jim was very keen to get another shot at that perfect ass and magnificent pair of tits.

As Jim stepped out from the elevator a man in a black leather jacket stepped past him into the lift. The man bumped hard into Jim's left side and Jim felt a sharp prick in his arm.

"Ow!" Jim yelped in surprise, wondering what he'd been stabbed by. Before Jim could object further he felt his world suddenly going blurry. Jim's knee's sagged and he felt himself lurching over before the man smooth caught him under the shoulder and a second man grabbed him from the other side, supporting his weight.

The last thing Jim saw before he passed out was a pair of white women's high heeled shoes and some long, sexy legs.


"He's coming round Agent Slut," said a man's voice as Jim blinked his eyes, his consciousness finally returning.

Jim squinted, the light in the room seemed incredibly bright and his head was pounding like he'd skulled a full bottle of bourbon the night before.

"Where the fuck am I?" he murmured, trying to peer around the dazzling room.

Jim blinked his eyes again, his brain throbbing painfully. His vision was started to come back and he saw that he was lying on a rather dingy bed in a small cheap looking hotel room. Quite a comedown from the room he'd been in with the lovely Anastasia.

He was not alone in the room. Seated at a table on the far side of the room were two men in black leather jackets, Jim was pretty sure that they were the ones that had grabbed, and presumably drugged him. Directly in front of him was a woman, and an attractive one at that. She was sitting in a chair facing towards the bed he was lying on, her long legs were crossed, the short white min-skirt she was wearing gave him an eyeful of her creamy, well toned thighs and she had strappy white high heeled shoes. She had on a pale pink blouse that swelled out interestingly, suggesting a hint of a rather substantial bosom beneath. Her face was absolutely gorgeous and she had long blonde hair.

"Sorry about the rough extraction, but we didn't want to compromise your cover," the woman said with apparent concern.

"Wh...what?" stammered Jim blearily.

The pretty blonde re-crossed her legs and leant forward slightly, Jim couldn't help himself from glancing down at the additional exposed thigh. Her legs were slim, yet well muscled, probably from hours in the gym.

"Are you feeling okay Agent Bond?" she asked him with a frown.

"Who?" demanded Jim, vaguely remember that the woman Anastasia had also referred to him by the name Bond in her note. "I'm not Agent Bond."

The woman turned to the men sitting on the far side of the room. "How much did you give him Cassidy?"

"Just a standard dose, he should be fine by now," replied one of the men with an unconcerned shrug.

The blonde turned back to Jim. "What were you doing in Anastasia Drako's room Bond?"

Jim shook his. "I've got no idea what's going on here, but I'm not who you think I am," he told her, feeling slightly angry at this point. Mistaken identity leading to a blowjob and fuck from a supermodel was one thing, this was an altogether different situation.

"Amnesia?" one of the men across the room suggested.

"Look," said Jim with a sigh of frustration. "My name's Jim Buttner, I work construction and I'm certainly not this spy you seem to think I am."

The blonde squinted thoughtfully at him as if judging the truthfulness of his comment.

"I certainly have no idea what the fuck is going on!" complained Jim. His vision was now back to normal, but he still had a dull ache in his skull from whatever drug they had used on him.

"You're not Secret Agent Jimbo Bond?" the woman asked once again.

"No!" he snapped irritably.

"Damn!" the woman swore loudly. "Looks like he's really missing. When you surfaced with Anastasia Drako we were certain you were Bond. I mean you look exactly like him. But if you're not Bond, then what exactly were you doing in the room of an International Drug Baroness?"

"Drug Baroness?" said Jim in surprise. "Look, she grabbed me and took me back to her hotel. I think she made the same mistake as you."

The woman's eyes narrowed. "What did you discuss with her?"

"We didn't really talk as such," replied Jim with a shrug. "We just shagged. Look, who the hell are you anyway."

The woman sighed. "My name is Trish Stratus, I'm a Secret Agent who's working with Agent Jimbo Bond. As you've probably already gathered, Agent Bond had vanished and we're trying to find him, it's a critical stage of our operation."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Sounds like Agent Bond is a good looking fellow," Jim grinned to himself at his own joke. "I guess I should go and leave you get back to your spying."

"There is an opportunity here," said the man on the far side of the room.

"I was just thinking the same thing," agreed Trish.

Jim glanced from Trish to the other man. "What are you talking about?" he asked in confusion.

Trish hesitated a moment, taking a deep breath. The motion caused her expansive chest to swell out and against her blouse, drawing Jim's gaze.

"As you've probably worked out, you're the spitting image of Jimbo Bond," she told him. "What Agent Cassidy was suggesting is that you pose as Bond."

"Now hang on a moment!" protested Jim. "That sounds dangerous."

Trish nodded. "It certainly won't be easy, but unfortunately we don't have a lot of options here. Your country needs you Jim Buttner."

"My country needs me?" he repeated doubtfully.

"We're at a critical stage in the operation," she explained. "And only Agent Bond can perform this next task. There's a criminal organisation that will be activating a stolen nuclear bomb inside the country unless we intervene. So far Agent Bond has been the only agent able to establish a cover within the terror organisation."

Report Story

byGeorgeTasker© 7 comments/ 52325 views/ 9 favorites

Share the love

Report a Bug

3 Pages:123

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar: