In Every Dream Home a Heartache

"Times I dreamed of doin' that to you. Watching you scream as the blood squirted and I held it in my hand laughing." She shook her head. "Can't. Never liked violence - it's bad enough in the Wasteland wivvout me adding to it. Never liked me sex rough either - just nice and loving and kissy. Two people what like or love each uvver and want to show each uvver that. Not fucking me up the shitter and comin' on me face. I hated doing those kinky fings to you as much as I hated you doing them to me. But my disobedient body followed the program like the good little android I was supposed to be and I fucking hated every minute of it."

I was crying so hard, I could barely see. "Oh fuck, you were programmed to love it all. It was all just fantasy, Katie. If I'd even had the remotest inkling - I could never do those things with a real woman. I'm so sorry you hated it, I really am. The thought of hurting you for real is so horrible."

She wiped away a tear. "Why, Adam? Why me?"

My small laugh sounded as mirthless as I felt. "Loneliness, Katie. Simple as that. I'm a geek. I don't get out much. I don't meet many girls. A long time ago I heard about the ALIX's. I'm a programmer and hacker on the dark web. After a long search I found my way to the site."

I looked at her. "You were - you are - so beautiful Katie. It was love at first sight. Love and lust. I thought of all the things I could do - all the dark fantasies I had built up over the years. They could all come true with a little bit of scientific magic. It would hurt no-one; be my guilty little secret."

I sighed deeply. "I hurt you so much. I'm not sure I can live with this." I nodded to the knife on the bed. "Please."

She shook her head. "Ain't gonna kill ya." She began to unclip my restraints. Again, I longed to take her in my arms and beg forgiveness, but I had no right.

"Why?"

"Coz you're gonna help me."

"Help you do what, Katie? I'll do anything to try to make amends for this, I swear."

"Get the cunts what done this to me." She glanced at the timer on the Pod door. The hour was nearly up. "And the other four-hundred and sixty two girls and eighty-two blokes they've fucked up so far."

She sighed. "Gotta go back in there. Get hooked up to them wires and tubes again." She laughed. "Food's great when yer get used to it!" She moved towards the Pod.

"Katie, how did you break the program?" I saw her eyes go dim. There were only seconds left.

"Termorrer, yeah? Got more work to do tonight. Gonna be busy in there." She made to step inside, but turned back once more. "Adam, I lied about hatin' every minute of it. There was this girlfriend program where you was gentle and we made love proper-like. I hoped every night I'd wake up to that one, but you only used it three times."

I shook my head in shame. "Oh I am so sorry, Katie."

"So am I Adam. It were fuckin' beautiful and I did really come for once instead of my body pretendin'."

This time there was no smile and no wave and I couldn't watch as her eyes went dark.

Day Three

It was the longest and worst day of my life. I stared out of the window from the sixty-ninth floor over the vastness of the London Dome and thought of poor Katie Marie Townsend who had first been betrayed by surgeons and then by a craven little coward called Adam Davis who had never had the guts to get himself a real girlfriend, so bought himself one for half a million - mainly stolen - credits. I kept thinking about the knife she had used on herself the previous night and thought about using it on me. But if I did that, Katie would be stuck inside the Pod forever and would probably just wither away and die a horrible death.

I owed it to her to do whatever she wanted. I had no idea what that was, but if she intended on taking down the people who had done this to her, it was going to be dangerous. But however dangerous, I needed to redeem myself. Whatever she wanted, I was in.

I waited impatiently as the recharge took its slow course. Twelve hours in the Pod for every one hour out of it. No way around it they said.

Well I had no way around it, but Katie did.

I was sitting at the terminal checking my sales when I heard the Pod door swish open four hours early. There was no way it should open without my intervention. I went through to the bedroom and Katie was bending down by her wardrobe. She was naked.

She looked up at me and blushed. "Fuck off; this is Katie Marie, not that other fucking tart."

I reddened also. "Sorry." I held a hand up and retreated back to my computer. She looked almost the same as Alyssa, but strangely different.

Five minutes later I felt a soft hand on my shoulder. I turned and she was standing over me wearing a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, a longish mid-brown wig on her head. She fingered the hair brushing against her left breast. "'Bout the nearest to me own. That'll take fucking years to grow back." She inclined her head. "Stand up."

As I had done in so many of the simulations, I obeyed her and stood.

She put her hands on her hips and looked at me hard. "I believe it when you said you knew nuffink. They're bastards what do this and they do a fucking good job on us victims, so presumably they did the hard sell on you n'all."

She closed her eyes. "But sorry Adam, I gotta do this just once..."

She let out a feral scream and kicked me with all the force she could muster between the legs. As I doubled up in agony, she smashed her fist into my nose with an uppercut and I felt it begin to pour with blood. I sank to my knees in a heap, groaning. When I finally raised my head, my eyes streaming, she was standing with a wet towel in her outstretched hand. I took it and began to mop up my face and the floor.

She helped me up. "Sorry - I'm done now. Just needed that."

I nodded at her through watery eyes. "Fully deserved - and the rest."

She laughed. "Never knew I 'ad that in me! Cor, what a fucking shot, eh? Right in the back of the net. Would 'ave graced any World Cup final!"

I smiled. "God, they were a long time ago!" Holding my nose I said, "The punch wasn't bad either."

She shook her fist ruefully. "Fucking hurt me n'all though!"

I held a hand out. "Look, Katie - I really am truly-"

She cut me off. "Whoa, enough already. We done all that bollocks last night. So come on, where's the comfy chairs? We got fings to talk about!"

Relieved that she wasn't going to go postal on me, I pointed to the small part of the living area that wasn't given over to the Pod interface. There were two squashy balls that moulded nicely to the shape of whoever sat in them.

"Ok, we best be quick then. There's only fifty minutes left on your timer."

She flicked a dismissive hand over her shoulder as she made for the chair on the left. "Fuck that - it's sorted!"

She sank into the chair and sighed contentedly. "First time I been off me feet, me back or me knees in months." She lit a cigarette and sucked on it. "Right, we got a lot to do. First fing is to get me off these fuckers." She looked back at me. "Got any beer?"

I looked at her. "Yeah. Sure you'll be ok with it?"

She laughed. "What, fink I'm gonna short-circuit or somefink? Fink I had enough o'your cum down me gullet to prove I ain't gonna explode if I gets wet inside!"

Laughing, I handed her a beer and she looked at it longingly. She flipped the top. "Best get me annuver. Been far too long!" With that she tipped it to her mouth and drained the bottle in one hit.

"Fuck, that's better than the piss we get outside!" She wiped her mouth and burped loudly, her face split in a wide grin. "Fuck, it's good to be me again!"

She pulled on her cigarette as I handed her another. "Got yer net-bot handy?"

I passed her the terminal. She tapped a few keys and held it up to me. "That the address 'ere?"

I nodded.

"Right, anti-smoking instant crash-course arriving in two mins. Where's yer drone-port?"

I pointed through the kitchen to a small utility room beyond. She got up and passed me, blowing smoke in my face, laughing as I recoiled. "Oh yeah, only like it on yer cock, don't ya, fucking perv!"

She finished her second beer and deposited the bottle and the cigarette end in the kitchen disposal. She came out of the ute-room ripping the covering off the parcel she was carrying. It looked like a small derma-pistol.

She read the instructions, muttering to herself. "Only needs one app - works instantly, never crave again. Sounds good to me." She rolled her sleeve up and held the pistol to her upper arm. She pressed a trigger and winced. "Ow! Why's everyfink in this fucking place fucking hurt?"

She tossed the pistol into the trash. "Cost you a fortune, but it's your fault. Did you really get off on me blowing smoke on yer dick?"

I grabbed two more beers, feeling myself getting hard at the thought. "Erm, yes I did, Katie. Sorry."

"Dirty bugger! Maybe get annuver one and shoot it into yer dick to cure you, eh?"

I winced. "Thanks, but the way you saw to it earlier, no-one's going near it for a week. I'll just exercise self-restraint in future."

She pointed back to the chairs. "Right, order some pizza, bucko - I've not eaten for six months so I'm fucking starving and I'll be pissed as a fart if I drink any more without food. How many beers ya got in there?"

I did a quick count. "Six."

"Order more. Lots more - it's gonna be a long night."

I did and it was. She wouldn't say a word until we had eaten and out of sixteen pizza slices I managed three. Each time I reached for one I got a slap on the hand. "Fuck off - I 'ad three months being rebuilt and three more with nuffink but your cum down me throat and some gloopy shit pumped into me each night!"

The pile of beer bottles next to her was growing ever larger. It had been a harrowing twenty-four hours but something kept telling me that I was going to like Katie Marie Townsend as much if not more than Alyssa.

And had I loved Alyssa.

There was just something mesmeric about her. She was a force of nature and I tried to imagine her before her accident out in the Wasteland. Before she became an ALIX and I used and abused her unwittingly. A small part of me wondered if Katie could ever forgive me enough so that I could show her how much I really had loved Alyssa.

At last she finished the final slice of double cheese pepperoni with extra jalapenos -'lots of them fuckin' hot green fings' - took a long swig of beer and burped loudly. She wiped her hands on her sweatshirt.

"Fucking brill." She looked at the stain she had left. "Oops, bet the fucking sainted Alyssa wouldn'a left a mess like that!"

I lowered my head and said quietly, "Alyssa's gone, Katie."

She shrugged. "Funny innit? I always dreamed of livin' in the fucking Dome. Be better'n what I was outside. Way I were going out there, it weren't gonna be too long before I could afford to get me own place in here. Then I wakes up in it as a fucking sex doll."

I had to know how she had done it, so I pressed her. "How come, Katie? There not usually much chance of moving inside is there?"

She stood and walked over to me. "You're not a bad man, Adam. I know you was only living out a fantasy. What fuckin' stupid little bloke wouldn't given half a chance, eh?" She sighed. "Yeah, Alyssa's gone; but so has Katie. Or at least a good fucking bit of her. Katie wanted to better 'erself."

She sighed. "I got that chance now."

She stood, deep in thought for a long time. Finally she fixed me with those green eyes. "Do me a favour?"

"As I said last night, Katie. Anything - anything it takes."

"You know the girlfriend scene I said I liked? Play me the voice what she was gonna 'ave will ya?"

I walked over to the interface and pressed a few keys. The holo-Alyssa spun up, eyes sparkling, her slightly wavy, shoulder-length auburn hair looking not dissimilar to Katie's current look. She smiled up from the deck. The voice wasn't as cut-glass as the one I had used for the aborted denial the previous night, but it was soft, seductive and beautifully modulated.

"I have something to ask that I think you're going to like, Adam. Will you please make love to me babe?"

She tipped the bottle to her mouth. "Play some more..."

I played half a dozen phrases from the girlfriend scenario that I had never heard her say other than on the interface. I watched her nodding as the imaginary girl spoke. She handed me the bottle and walked towards the Pod.

She turned as she reached the door. "Load it."

Five minutes later, Katie emerged from the Pod once more. She hooked her finger in her lip as Alyssa would have done. She smiled at me, her voice soft and seductive.

"I have something to ask that I think you're going to like, Adam. Will you please..."

My heart leaped as she paused. Was this going where I hoped it was?

"... get me another beer babe? I'm fucking parched."

She laughed at the disappointment on my face and patted my cheek. "Different voice, same old Katie!"

I smiled ruefully hiding my disappointment. "And it suits you. Are you going to stick as Katie?"

She made a little moue with her mouth as I handed her the bottle. "Yeah, think I'd better. I always promised her I'd make a better life for her, so I owe it to her."

She took a drink. "Right, let's to work. I've had my beer and pizza, I've quit smoking; I've got a new voice. Next on the agenda..."

She lifted her hair and revealed the interface at the base of her skull. "As my old self may have said, 'fink that's going to be a bastard to get shot of!'"

Smiling wickedly, she let her hair drop. "But I've got a plan!" She clinked her bottle against mine and tapped a finger to her nose. She took me by the hand and led me back to the chairs.

She held up her bottle. "Keep them coming, Adam. I have a bit of a tale to tell." She took a drink.

"You see, little Wasteland Katie was a bit of a dark horse. It's a fucking free-for-all out there Adam, and by the time I was twelve I was hacking bank accounts and diverting funds to let's say 'worthier causes.' It seemed a better life than drug running or..."

She pointed back to the Pod. "Well, what I ended up doing in there." She sighed. "At least it's clean and warm here I suppose - not like outside."

She went on. "Before long, I was in demand. I was making a name for myself. I found I could hack virtually anything. It just came naturally to me and it meant that my family had a chance on the mean streets. I got my bashed-up old car and I began to make plans to move into the Dome. I was making credits faster than most banks. I've got a very nice secret account set up just waiting to be raided. Then the fucking junkie hit me up the rear-end and rearranged my life somewhat."

It took a bit of getting used to the new Katie even after such a short time, but the voice was much nicer and less abrasive. There was something I had to know.

"So Katie, how did you do what you did in the Pod? The voice module suppression? Overriding the programming?" I shook my head in wonder. "Basically, how did you escape?"

She sipped her beer and shuddered. "I woke up in a weird, grey world unable to move. Just a fuzzy haze with a few pinpricks of light. Sort of white noise and static all around me. I thought I was dead. Then after a short while I began to realise that there were patterns in the noise. It was almost like I could understand it."

"You know the dark web well, Adam. But beneath that, there are layers upon layers of even darker networks and pathways. Some are so dark they are fucking black holes. For some reason, I found I could penetrate and understand those black holes as easily as I could speak to you."

I tried to imagine what it must have been like in the darkness, not knowing what was about to happen. The fear, the unknown. I shuddered again at what I had put her through.

"I began to make out repeating sequences. Then it hit me - they were just zeroes and ones. I found I could somehow translate them into code in my head. I could travel the pathways and navigate around the deepest, darkest corners of the internet. It was as if I was hard-wired into it. I suppose in a way I was."

She went quiet. "Then your first program came in. I could visualise myself walking out of the Pod and dressing in the underwear you had programmed me to wear. Lying there compliant while you did what you were going to do. I realised that whatever had been done to me in the name of science, I was effectively going to be a sex toy. A fucking machine that could be programmed to do whatever the programmer wished."

I tried to interject, but she cut me off. Her voice was terse.

"I'm not going over that again Adam. I know you are sorry and I believe you. I'm trying now to explain the how and where, not the why."

I felt I could never apologise enough, but I let it go. "Ok, point taken."

"So I saw what my responses were meant to be. How I supposedly loved being taken by someone I didn't even know and was programmed to tell them it was the best day of my life. I knew I didn't know enough about how it all worked to override the whole thing, so I found the voice unit and deactivated it. At least I was spared hearing me saying 'oh my God' and 'fuck yeah' even though the words were rattling around in my head."

I had to laugh. "There wouldn't have been many of them the first night."

She covered her mouth and let out a little squeak of laughter. "I have to say sometimes you were not bad, Adam - despite the kinky bits. But be honest, that was just fucking pathetic, wasn't it?"

I held my hands out. "Guilty M'lud. The defendant can only plead the sheer beauty of his partner and the pressure of the situation in his mitigation."

"Yeah, fucking a programmed android. Some fucking pressure!"

"Hey it had been a while, ok?"

For a moment, we both cracked up. Ok, we had both had a fair bit to drink, but it was nice that we could laugh about it even if I felt very guilty. "Sorry Katie, I'm interrupting."

"No, it's nice to laugh for once!" She thought for a moment. "Ok, so once the full horror of my situation became apparent, I decided that there was no way this was going to be my life. I'd either try and escape it or die trying. Nothing against you - apart from the arse-fucking, that is. Oh and the throat fucking." She began to count on her fingers. "The facials, the smoky blowjobs, the-"

I felt myself redden. "Thought we weren't going there again?"

She looked at me slyly. "Well you certainly aren't!"

I could still feel the ache in my groin where she had kicked me. Even if she had come on to me, I doubted that there'd be much I could do.

"Touché, madame. Pray continue!"

She sat up in her bubble chair. "So, to conclude my sorry little tale, it took me three months to figure out how to override everything. I waited for a few days for the 'tease and denial' program so you'd be restrained. It meant another run through of that fucking horrible arse-fuck program again, but so be it. At first I was quite determined to kill or maim you. Cause you as much pain as you caused me. But then I realised you were just as much a victim of this as me. You were as duped as I was. They sold you a state-of-the-art android sex toy and showed you all the fancy sales spiel. To you, I was an android."

She closed her eyes. "And despite everything, I realised that you loved Alyssa." She sniffed as though she was about to cry. "So by proxy, it meant you loved at least a part of Katie. It was my body you loved even if something else inhabited it. For some strange reason, that meant something to me. It meant that although I was scared shitless, confused, alone, there was just this little thought in the back of my head that someone found Katie attractive enough to do and say those things to her. I remembered the 'goodnight, my angel' and though when I was waving and smiling back I mostly wanted to spit in your face, I realised that it was heart-felt."