Incompatible

"Her great-grandparents and most of their siblings were killed in the Holocaust, and they truly never forgot. There are like, four generations of activists in her family. We were each raised to notice groups of people who needed help and to just show up."

Reed couldn't help but fall a little deeper while listening to Hana talk, finding it charming that her eyes darted all over the place as she spoke.

"Am I really that awful to look at?" he teased when she paused to eat. Hana stared at him for a moment before she realized what he meant.

"I'm... I'm autistic," she said. Reed squeezed his eyes shut, feeling like a complete asshole. "Well don't feel bad," she reassured him. "I'm glad it came up so you can tell me exactly what you mean instead of dropping a bunch of hints I'm never going to pick up on."

"Alright," he smiled, "How about this--do you want to spend the afternoon with me? If you're free, that is."

They walked through Earl Bales Park at Bathurst and Sheppard in North York, pausing to watch families fly kites. Reed told her he got into journalism because he was one of the middle children among four boys and their parents didn't have a lot of time to spend individually with each kid.

"They did their best," he said. "And we're still very close. But we were all left to entertain ourselves because both our parents had to work, and so I took to reading. Then when I was in high school and full of teenage angst--" his smile met Hana's in that moment, "--I was coming home, doing my homework, and then writing 20 pages a night in my journal."

"Some girl you liked?" Hana surmised.

"That's the most cliché type of teenage angst, but yes. Always some girl I liked." As they meandered out of the park, Reed took her to a sandwich spot he frequented where they grabbed lunch and then kept strolling.

Hours later, they'd forgotten the confines of time while in each other's company as they meandered down Bathurst, talking and holding hands right into the downtown core. Since the clock wasn't an issue, they would frequently stop and just people-watch.

It was early evening when they approached the waterfront and sat down by the pier. Centre Island loomed before them and the CN Tower was two city blocks away.

"How far did we go?" Reed asked, turning to look up the street.

"You actually walked me home," Hana smiled. "I live maybe 10 minutes from here." They had just left a food truck queue with a simple dinner when it hit Hana that this had been one of the best days of her life.

"I'm really sorry," she said, poking at the veggie poutine she held while they perched on the concrete steps in front of a skyscraper. Reed looked at her, perplexed. "For being so rude to you without even knowing anything about you. I know I already apologised, but it bears repeating," Hana stumbled on while Reed furrowed his brow. "The day we met?"

"Oh!" A flash of recognition danced across his face. "I'd completely forgotten about that." Hana tossed him a skeptical look. "Okay, I hadn't completely forgotten about that," he admitted, "but I'm in the news media. It takes a lot to offend me, and a beautiful girl with a chip on her shoulder and a heart of gold doesn't rank high on that list."

He casually pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose, not noticing how hungrily Hana was gazing at him. The Sun had partially set but it wasn't dark enough for the streetlights to go on while they made their way toward Hana's neighbourhood. Disregarding that they'd spent the entire day on their feet, she wished her apartment was several kilometres away as opposed to two city blocks.

As she stepped onto the stairs leading up to her building, Reed stayed on the sidewalk without letting go of her hand. She took another step up but this time he playfully tugged her backward and she fell against his chest.

The streetlight a few metres away switched on just as their lips met. The kiss didn't end but kept getting deeper until Hana grabbed Reed's collar and dragged him toward the building's front doors.

***********

Reed shifted out of his jacket and let it drop to the floor, encircling his arms back around Hana as soon as he could. He held her face with both hands as his tongue searched for hers, then grazed his fingers up under her t-shirt until he gripped the clasp of her bra against her back.

"Reed," Hana breathed, breaking the chain of kisses he'd practically bruised her lips with. "I need to be clear about something." Reed pulled back, expecting she was going to tell him she was seeing someone already--or worse. He quickly glanced around her living room for any signs she had another man in her life.

"No, it's not like that," Hana reassured him, reading his mind. "I'm single. But if you think this will eventually progress into a relationship or further, we should stop right now." Reed raised an eyebrow.

"I... I wasn't thinking about--"

"So you're okay with this just being about sex?" Hana jumped ahead.

"No, I mean..." he shook his head, not sure how to respond. "I mean, I like you, Hana. You're caring, warm, funny, brave... everything I'd want in a girlfriend, if that's what you're asking."

"It's not," Hana replied bluntly. "I'm saying I can't be your girlfriend, nevermind more than that. I'm saying if you're looking for a girlfriend, it would be best if you left and looked for someone more suitable for you." She couldn't make out much in the dim light of her living room, but she could see he was squinting at her in confusion.

"Don't you think you're jumping the gun a bit?" Reed asked, taken aback by her direct, somewhat emotionless manner.

"You were trying to undo my bra mere seconds ago," she countered. "Are you saying it's too soon to lay our cards on the table, but it's not too soon to fuck?" Seeing that she was putting Reed off, she tried to backtrack and approach this differently.

"I like you too," she said, watching his eyes dart back to her face. "I had an incredible time with you today. But I checked out your social media, and we're incompatible."

"We've known each other for what, a few weeks now?" Reed said gently. "And today was the only day we didn't run into each other at a barricade." He drew Hana close and kissed her forehead. "I told you everything about myself today, and we've got time to get even better acquainted."

"I'm not going to go out in the snow with you at night in December and cut down an evergreen tree," she said flatly. It was likely the most difficult sentence she'd ever had to spit out, knowing it would push him away when they'd spent the entire day growing closer. "I don't believe in deforestation to celebrate a holiday."

Reed continued to hold her but recalled the post he'd shared of himself, his brothers, and their parents last Christmas at a tree farm.

"You love your dogs, right?" Hana asked, her ear still against his chest and her voice still matter-of-fact. "I'm never going to own a pet because I can't invest so much time and love into something that I know will probably die before me. I won't set myself up for grief like that."

Reed gently pulled her back by her shoulders and looked at her face.

"And I'm not going to come with you to Canada Day fireworks or to your parents' house for Thanksgiving, even if I have no other plans," Hana continued. "I'm a vegetarian and I wouldn't want to make things awkward. But more than that, I don't believe in coloniser holidays that are there to celebrate stolen land that was secured by genocide." Reed's hands dropped off her shoulders.

"Oh. That's what you mean by incompatible," he nodded, finally understanding and looking away. He reached for his jacket on the floor.

"But I still want to fuck you," Hana said. Reed bolted upright in surprise.

"You... what?"

"Every time we've run into each other, I've wanted you more than the time before," Hana told him. "But I don't want you to have any grand delusions that this could be more. I don't want you dreaming of a future together. I'm not going to introduce you to my friends or family, and I won't meet yours either."

"So you want to be fuckbuddies?" Reed couldn't believe this conversation was happening.

"Sort of. Maybe more than that, but less than being your girlfriend. I haven't spent a day like this with anyone the way I have with you, and that's surprised me, to be honest. I'd like to keep doing that."

"I love talking with you too, Hana," Reed said. "That's kind of why I'm a little shocked that you're shutting down any possibility that we could have a relationship--especially when we haven't really started anything yet."

"But you understand why, right?" she asked. Reed nodded dejectedly, pushing his hair back with one hand while his other hand rested on his hip. Hana wanted to unzip his pants right then and there.

"My family's pretty tight," he considered out loud. "If I told them I was seeing someone, there would be an expectation that I'd bring her around the house sooner than later. And while they're pretty liberal..."

"They wouldn't agree with how far left I am," Hana finished his thought. "I know. They'd be much more offended by me calling Thanksgiving a coloniser holiday than you are." They smiled at each other while standing a few feet away, but Reed suddenly felt like they were an ocean apart.

"If we do have a physical relationship but then you happen to find someone who will fit your life better," Hana added, "I won't be upset. And we won't have to have further contact after that if it would make her or you uncomfortable. Not even as friends."

"Geez, I feel like we're drawing up a goddamn pre-nup, plotting the end of this before it even begins," Reed shook his head at the ceiling as it dawned on him that the last thing he felt like doing just then was having sex. "Maybe you were right at the beginning of all this, Hana. I'll go."

Hana stood there astonished, watching him slip his jacket back on and head to the door to put on his shoes. Was he really not going to sleep with her? Damn, he called my bluff, she thought, trying to tell herself this was for the best, and he was a down-to-earth guy to know what he wanted from the get-go.

She unlocked her door for him and he stepped into the hallway, turning back to give her a wistful glance and a small wave goodbye.

Hana changed into a nightshirt, then made herself a cup of plain tea. She wondered if she'd messed things up again, then capitulated back to telling herself she made the most pragmatic decision for everyone in the long run.

Worse than not being with him at all would be falling in love, getting attached, and running into obstacle after obstacle with all the surroundings details of their lives.

She was halfway under the covers and about to shut off the light when she heard her ringtone go off across the bedroom. It was Reed.

"Hello?" she answered breathlessly just before it went to voicemail.

"Hey," he said, his voice a touch hoarse. "Did I wake you?"

"No. Did you forget something here?"

"No, that's not it," he sighed. "Look, I feel like an asshole saying this, but... is it too late to take the deal?" Hana's heartbeat shot into overdrive.

"Uhhh... um, no," she stammered. "Where... where are you?"

"Outside your door."

Hana didn't even remember to end the call before she was racing down the hall, then fumbling to release the three different door locks. She'd barely thrown the door open when Reed bounded in and enveloped her in his arms, crushing her mouth with a probing kiss.

"Oh, thank god," she breathed, slightly flinching at his cold fingers against the back of her bare thigh.

"Sorry," he let her go so she could lock the door again and jammed his hands in his pockets. "It's starting to get cold in the evenings again." Reed took in the sight of Hana's curves in her short nightshirt. It didn't help that she was braless and barefoot, with her layered hair loose around her shoulders.

"What made you change your mind?" she softly asked him as he took off his jacket.

"I was halfway home and I couldn't get past the disappointment of not getting to hold you while falling asleep," he answered honestly. "I... I don't know if this is a good idea or not, but it's really the only way I'm not going to wake up completely miserable tomorrow morning when I find myself without you."

Her first instinct was to jump into his arms with enough force to knock the both of them over onto the couch directly behind him. But the way he looked at her so earnestly after telling her the sweetest thing she'd ever heard a man utter...

Hana took each of Reed's chilly hands into hers and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him, deep and slow. She dropped another kiss on his chin, looked into his bottomless blue eyes for a moment, then led him to her bedroom.

She wanted to take her time with him, she decided, while removing his glasses and carefully placing them on her desk. Covering his mouth with her own in a string of soft kisses, Hana unbuttoned Reed's shirt and then trailed her lips down to his nipple. Lightly kneading it with her mouth, she thought she felt him shiver just before he tried to push her off and slip his hands below her nightshirt.

But Hana wasn't having it. She stepped back for a millisecond, which was enough to let Reed know she didn't want him in charge just yet. She walked him backward to her bed, laid him down with his shirt still open, and licked and sucked on his other nipple until a soft moan escaped his lips.

Reed's head was swimming and his erection was raging, painfully pushing against his khakis. Hana's weight on top of him only augmented the feeling of what she was doing to his chest; something he'd never had a woman do to him before.

When he finally started to get used to the intense sensations of her lips sucking on his nipples, she turned it up a notch and gnawed at him with her teeth.

"God, Hana," he breathed, taking her by her upper arms. Her gorgeous dark eyes widened in contrast against her light brown skin.

"Did I hurt you?" she whispered. Reed let out a ragged laugh.

"No, but it doesn't mean you're not gonna kill me if you keep doing that."

"You like that?" she smiled, putting her knees on either side of his hips in a straddle.

"I... I've done that to women before but this is the first time... I mean, holy fuck." Somewhere in the back of Reed's head, he was thinking he should be more articulate as a professional writer. Hana's lips stretched into a cheshire smile as she undid his belt and pants. She had him naked from the waist down within seconds, after which he tossed his shirt on the ground as well.

Reed's arousal sprang up instantly, and Hana gave him a final kiss on his chest before dragging herself south while stroking the inside of his thighs with flat palms. He flinched as she nibbled the crevices around his hip bone, then thought he was going to pass out when her fingers inched upwards and firmly cupped his balls.

Hana's tongue played tag with the tip of Reed's cock, giving it little licks and watching it bound upwards in anticipation. She swirled around the edge, gradually taking him into her mouth inch by inch, smiling to herself upon hearing him roughly exhale.

Reed clenched his jaw and willed himself to not give in to the exquisite pleasure Hana was showing him. He'd had his share of girlfriends indulge him like this but he was finding it infinitely more difficult to hold off now, especially when she stopping spinning her tongue around his cock and started sucking.

"Baby, stop," he heard himself say, his voice barely sounding like his own. Her slender fingers were still wrapped tightly around his shaft when she turned her brown eyes up toward his head lying on her pillow.

"This is tougher than I thought it would be," he tried. Hana arched an eyebrow in confusion and straightened up.

"I mean..." Reed shook his head, "Just... please come up here with me."

"Is everything okay?" she asked, scooching up and lying against his chest. The skin of her legs shone in the reflected glow of the streetlights outside her window and Reed found himself wondering why he couldn't form cogent sentences when she touched him.

"Everything's great," Reed assured her, wrapping an arm around her waist. "I think you might be a little too much for me, though."

"You... you want to stop?" Hana wished he would just say what he meant.

"No, sweetie, I just want you to stop. I want to start."

With that, Reed peeled off Hana's nightshirt and inhaled sharply at the sight of her incredible breasts and bare back. When she instinctively brought her arm up against her chest, he gently pushed her down against the mattress and slid her panties off. Lacing their fingers together while pinning her arms down, Reed balanced himself on his elbows as he took her sweet brown nipple in his mouth.

Hana immediately squirmed against his tongue, her back arching as though it was begging Reed to suck harder. He'd understood when he'd been beneath her, however, that she wanted to go slow. He planned to up the ante.

Her nipples were not only hard and puckered by the time he was done several minutes later, they were also swollen. Hana had tried wrapping her legs around Reed's waist, hoping to tempt him into hurrying up, but he rose up on his knees each time, shrugging her off while his lips remained locked on her chest.

"Reed, please," she finally pled.

"I'm only going as slow as you were," he murmured while smirking to himself.

"You're going slower," she groaned. Every time she tried to move her arms, Reed's grip on each wrist tightened. "You really don't want to fuck me already?" she begged. Finally, he stopped and raised himself enough to gaze at her face.

"I did when I got here," he admitted. "I like this a lot better. Do you, though?" Hana swallowed and nodded, telling herself she needed to be careful looking into those ocean blue eyes. "Am I holding you too tight?" he checked. She shook her head no.

"I kinda like how rough you've been with my arms," she drawled. Reed's eyes narrowed as he gave her a kiss and a crafty smile.

"Then you're gonna love what I do with your legs," he whispered.

Reed was suddenly between Hana's thighs, holding them as far apart as he could get them while his tongue sunk inside her. She let out a high squeal and thrashed in surprise but Reed's broad shoulders kept her knees spread while his hands cupped her rear and his tongue devastated her.

Hana wriggled, thinking the fire shooting through her brain was almost too much for her, but Reed kept his promise and maintained an iron grip on her thighs. Her back arched and a scream bolted out of her throat as he roughly ravished her clitoris next, and Hana felt like she was being lifted through the roof.

"Ohhhh, Reed," she sobbed when he slipped his fingers inside her and made the ridges harden on her front wall within 30 staggering seconds. A few more lashes with his tongue and Hana felt a volcanic orgasm erupt in her core, throughout which Reed wouldn't stop stroking or licking her.

When the room slowed down from whirling around her several minutes later, she felt his mouth back on her chest and whimpered when he hungrily began sucking on her nipples again. Upon feeling her flinch, he stopped.

"I'm sorry, sweetie," he whispered.

"No, I love it," she groaned, her fingers laced in his hair, "but they're just sensitive right now." She tried to control her galloping heartbeat as Reed's face gradually came back into focus, attempting to figure out what to say to the man who so easily shot her through the stratosphere in a way she'd never experienced before.

Instead, she simply peered at his eyes above hers and pulled him close to tenderly kiss him. He rested his forehead against hers for a moment, then kissed her back just as softly. Several more gentle kisses soon turned into ravenous ones, with Reed's thumbs reaching for Hana's breasts before he reminded himself he couldn't go back there right away.