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"Legally. You sure about that?"
"Oh yes. Completely. Ethically up the wazzo, - although you could say it's extremely moral – these bitches need a lesson in humility and hurting people - but legally? Of course. I need this. I need to do this. Joe needs this."
April could already see that Hillier was wavering. She imagined that her entreaties along with the way they'd spent the afternoon were getting to him.
He opened his mouth, and closed it again, thinking. Then he said, abruptly, "What the hell. It's not official anyway. Sure, go ahead. Get it out of your system. But I want to read this soon, ok? I want to know this guy too."
April smiled, jumped up and ran around to Hillier to hug him. As she did so, she felt his now stiffening erection.
"Again? You stud you!" she said, admiringly. "For an old guy, you keep up!"
"Fuck you," he said, laughing. He knew that the rest of the afternoon could go several ways depending on what he did next, but he decided not to push it. He'd had fun – twice – and now it was time to be a nice guy. "Go on, sit down. I can't let you rape me again. I've got carpet burns already."
April raised her eyebrows at him, and but went and sat where bidden.
"So what next?" he asked her.
"Well, firstly, I'm buying this place."
"You are what?" said Hillier, surprised.
"Yeah, Joe got it for a song. It was in such disrepair that the guy at the front – that lovely human being, Ted, you met him yet?" Hillier nodded. "Yeah, him. He sold it to Joe for ten thousand, for exclusive use for life. On the condition that Joe fix it up and also act as maintenance engineer for this place. You wouldn't know it, but all of the cabins are in excellent shape because of Joe. So he did. He got somewhere to live where his ex-wives could never find him. I figure if I offer fifteen k, well Ted got paid twice and he's not out anything that he already wasn't."
Hillier laughed at that. "Smart man. Wish I'd done something like that."
"I don't think you quite understand Ambrose. He wasn't hiding from them because they wanted something. He was hiding because they wouldn't leave him alone. Tara – his first – finally came to her senses and understood what she'd done to him and kept trying to find ways to make it up to him, not at all understanding that there IS no way to make up something like that. Her desperate need to forgive herself lead to her hounding Joe.
"And, nice guy that he was, he couldn't make her leave him alone. The fact that he was still in love with her made it especially difficult. Add to all that the fact that he just didn't know why she'd done it – her explanations are in a different realm of existence from his, he simply had no frame of reference to understand them. He blamed himself, but didn't even know what he was supposed to change. He needed to leave, crawl away and lick his wounds forever. So he found this place, where he could be anonymous and be alone."
"Jesus. This guy's life..."
"It's all in the Journal, and from what I've gathered from finding this place. I've met both the wives – both pieces of work, let me tell you – his therapist, his old landlord, the whole shebang."
"Yeah, I was going to ask how you got here before me, Miss Therapist? Therapist my ass. What is it you really do?"
"Let's just say I work for an 'agency', and leave it at that, ok? No questions, no lies."
Hillier snorted, but left it alone. It wasn't worth the aggravation.
"So you've got yourself a new weekend cottage. Then what. What about the wonder dog down there?"
April's eyes gleamed. She looked over at Max and whose head jumped up off his cushion at seeing her glance at him.
"Max and I are sticking it out. He's my new boyfriend."
"Does your apartment building allow dogs?"
"What a strange question to ask. But no, they don't. But you know what?" April cocked her head at him. "I think I just decided to buy a house. My lease is up next month anyway and I've considered it a couple of times. Yes, time to settle down. Time to buy a house. Fuck it."
"You'd buy a house just so you could have a dog?"
April's eyes flashed dangerously. "No, I'd buy a house to have JOE's dog," she said, in a low voice.
Hillier backed off. "Ok, so what next?"
April smiled, danger averted. "Well, first, a shower, then time to make Mr. Universe an offer, then I have some people to see. And a funeral to organize."
*****
I think I might have met someone. I wasn't expecting this. I still feel...damaged. It's been two years but I still haven't really met anyone. Marianne encouraged me to date, but honestly, nothing has clicked. Most of the women I meet are either married or looking for something that is not me. That much is obvious within the first ten minutes. I dunno, maybe it's been me. Hard to tell when you are on the inside looking out.
Anyway, I'm on a cruise around Alaska, whale watching. I was at the bar making some snide remarks that judging by the size of some of the women on the ship, we didn't need to go to Alaska, we could have just sat by the pool. A little bitter, but still funny. There was this really cute blond, sitting there laughing and chewing on a stirrer and by god, she made eyes at me. I mean me. Mr. Loser! She is hot as hell, all petite and tight and boobs and ass and her name is Penny and we just sat and talked all day in the bar. I didn't even feel any of the drinks I had.
She's lying next to me on the bed now, snoring gently. One thing is for sure, next time I get a stateroom, I get one with a king size bed. But the sex. Oh My God, the sex. This woman is so uninhibited, it blows my mind. Or something. I've never gotten off like that before. Three times in one night. I think this girl must be a keeper. Or a hooker. Either way, I think she needs to stay in my room from now on.
This was an unexpected turn up for the books, that's for sure. Not looking this gift horse in the mouth though.
*****
April had a busy couple of days. The negotiation for the cabin took longer than she anticipated, and the disgusting owner of the cabins wanted more than she was willing to give. He kept hinting about "Get-togethers" and she kept wanting to vomit.
In the end, it cost her seventeen thousand dollars, but she now had exclusive use of the cabin for life. The only two regrets that Ted had were that he didn't get to fuck April, and that he was out a maintenance guy.
She took Max home with her, and even though the apartment complex did not allow pets, she bribed the doorman to look the other way for the next month.
She stopped in at work and had a few words with the R&D department, who confirmed what she had already suspected – that Aaron Glasso was not Mark Glasso's son. That he was, in fact, Joe Sullivan's son. The DNA sample she'd gotten, coupled with a sample from Joe's body – being the one paying for the funeral home had its uses – had spoken. There was no doubt, not that there had been the moment April had seen both Aaron and Mark in the same room. If she has seen it then she idly wondered how no one had commented on it to Mark?
At the end of the day, she knocked on the door of Penny and Mark Galsso's apartment. She had timed it so Mark would already be home – or should be – and she was greeted by Penny at the door, who recognized her immediately.
"Mark! It's that legal lady, the one about the will!" Penny smiled at her and gestured for her to come in.
April pushed open the door and in doing so, made Penny stumble back.
"Hey, you didn't have to push so hard." Penny glared at her.
"And you don't have to be quite as much of a disgusting whore slut either, Penny, but you are and so there we are."
There was a stunned silence.
"Wh...what? What did you say?"
"I called you a disgusting slut Penny. Now sit down before I make you sit down."
"I think.. I think you'd better get out..." stammered Penny, looking very distressed.
"What's going on here?" demanded Mark, stepping into the room and looking from April to Penny.
"She's.. she's insulting me, Mark. Calling me a whore."
Mark looked at April angrily, who just shrugged and said, "Well, she is. You know that. You married her. And fucked her for almost a year while working for her husband, who had no clue. You are quite the douchebag yourself. Let's be honest. The pair of you do deserve each other."
Mark's eyes went wide and he stepped up to April, clearly very angry and squared off.
"What the FUCK makes you think you have the right to come in my home and say things like that? I'll fucking..."
"You'll what?" interrupted April, not in the least bit intimidated. "What will you do Mark? Hit me? You're a fucking wife-stealing pussy, who is too much of a chicken shit to even find his own woman. No, you just get in the middle of someone else's marriage and fuck that up, and take someone's business with them. What kind of man does that? Oh wait, a man like you. A small-minded pissant with a winning smile and a malicious mind. Christ, what a prize you are. You must be so proud, Penny."
Mark lost his temper and lunged at April. She saw it coming and let one his hands land on her breast, and as he did so, so used her left hand as a knife edge, to hold his hand there, and with her other hand, she grabbed his little finger and yanked back. It didn't break, but Mark buckled under her, trying to keep his hand up, so she didn't break his finger.
April manipulated his finger so Mark was on the ground and then smashed his face into the coffee table. He was lucky it wasn't glass, but she did see a splash of blood erupt from his nose. She let him go and he climbed to his feet, breathing heavy, blood dripping out of his nose.
"Penny, you might want to get some tissue to mop up some of wonder boy's blood. Get lots, there might be more if your asshole husband tries that again."
"Who the hell ARE you?" said Mark, breathing through his mouth, while Penny tried to mop up his face.
April dropped into the couch and smiled at them, then launched into what she had come to say.
"I'm the fucking angel of retribution. I am the black wings of righteous, come to rain down fire on you fuckers for what you did to Joe Sullivan. It's always been coming, and now it's here. I am here and you need to sit down and shut the fuck up while your little worlds come to an end.
"You offer me violence and I'll fuck you up, as we've already established. So sit down and listen. Or not. Either way, it doesn't matter. I'm here in lieu of Joe Sullivan, and while he may have just let you get on with your sordid little tale of betrayal, I am not so forgiving, so listen up kids; your lives as you know it just ended."
Penny's mouth just opened and closed and she glanced at Mark, who was still trying to deal with his nose bleeding. Both just stood there not knowing what to do.
"I said SIT DOWN."
Penny just sat, while Mark stood there, rage in his eyes, flexing his hands into fists, impotently. Eventually he sat down next to Penny, still gingerly touching his nose.
"Right, where shall we start? Penny. You are a worthless gold-digging whore. No, don't argue. We all know you are. Let's start there. So you decided to cheat on Joe with this equally worthless piece of shit? How did it start? Why did it start? What did Joe not give you?"
Penny looked back at Mark and then at Penny, in clear consternation. "Stop looking at him Penny, you'll see in a second why you need to stop listening to what Mark says. Answer the question."
"I...I..I needed more."
"Of what?"
"Everything. Joe was great and nice and he had a business, but it was clear that it wasn't going the way he had hoped. He wouldn't take business from Mercano's and they own the market around here. He just...was making ends meet.
"I met Mark and it was clear that he was on the way up. He doubled Joe's business in a month. A month! Mark was where it was at. He liked to party – Joe never did, he hated even weed, let alone a bit of charley. He liked to fuck – I found that out quite quickly. He treated me like I wanted to be treated. Joe put me on a pedestal. Mark fucked me on the pedestal.
"Do you have any idea of how great it was to get both? Being loved by Joe and fucked by Mark? But I knew I'd have to make a choice. I'm sorry about Joe, really I am. He was a good guy. But he was never going anywhere. He sold me a bill of goods, and I took it back because it wasn't what it said on the tin."
Penny started to get belligerent, in the way people do who have been caught out and are fighting back with very thin self-justifications.
April considered her and said, "Well, as a whore – and let's be clear, that's what you are – I'd have to say you didn't do that well. Selling yourself and your marriage for this?" she gestured around at the cluttered apartment.
" 'Making ends meet'? Fuck that. It doesn't look to me like there's much more here than you had with Joe. Does Mark have a big cock? Was that the draw? Why haven't you moved up again Penny? That's your thing right? Not got enough, move on to the next. Something must keep you here."
Penny's eyes flickered to the bedroom door.
"Oh yes, Aaron! Of course, what was I thinking. Gotta stay for the kid. For dear old 'daddy' here. Tell me Penny, because I'd really like to know. Does Mark know that Aaron is not his? That he's actually Joe's? That you are such an evil human being that you'd actually lie to his real father and tell him he's not – a last act of betrayal that just gives away with a malicious and frankly evil person you really are. Did Mark know, or have you successfully lied to him too?"
Penny turned to Mark, who was now staring at her, horrified.
"It's not true, honey. You know I had the test done. I told you. I sent the letter to Joe! Aaron's yours!" she said, desperately, searching Marks face for understanding. He just stared at her.
"Of course it's not true. What a crock of shit. You really going to trust her Mark? Once a liar, always a liar. Here, you can check this out."
April threw out a stapled document onto the coffee table. She nodded at it. "There you go, full DNA analysis from a sample from Aaron and one from Joe. 99.99% probability of paternity. Don't believe me? Get one yourself, you'll see. How anyone can't see it is beyond me. Surely you remember what Joe looked like? Aaron looks nothing like you Mark. I can see that, why can't you?"
Mark looked back and forth from Penny to April, and started to reach for the document.
Penny broke in, whining, "Mark, no, it's not what you think. Honestly babe. It's not. Aaron is YOUR son. You raised him."
"So you did know. You....fucking whore. I thought he was mine. I thought that was part of the whole reason we got hitched. Jesus..." Mark just seemed to collapse into himself as he examined the document.
"Well, it's out there now Penny. Want to explain yourself? Go ahead girl. Now is as good a time as any..."
"I had to say it. I needed Joe gone. We needed to start alone. Mark, he's your kid. Don't you see that? Who cares who his sperm donor was? We are a family. We are together. We are for each other. Can't you see that?"
April laughed. "Oh yes. A family that lies to each other....wait, what's the rest of that saying?"
Penny flashed a look of pure fury at April.
"Oh don't get all pouty. We aren't done here, not at all. I honestly don't know how you could do that to Joe though. I mean, that's just...fucking evil. What did he ever do to you that you would do that to him? Lie to him like that? Take away the only thing he could have always claimed was his? Do you understand what you did?"
Penny looked away and said, "What he didn't have, he would never have missed. I had to do it. Mark and I needed it. I wasn't even sure it wasn't Marks, anyway. What was the point in making a fuss about it. He accepted it wasn't his and we were all fine."
"Wow. Just wow. You truly deserve what is coming your way. Your turn though first, Mark. Firstly, this."
April pulled out her phone and made a call. She waited two rings be connected, and then said "Dermot? How you doing? No, almost done. Need a favor though, so thanks for waiting and letting me call your personal line. Who do we know at Treasury? Oh, David Johnson! Oh yes, I remember him. He does owe us, doesn't he? Deanna is completely what he needs, no question. But here's what I need. I need a forensic IRS audit. Yes, the Crawl-Up-Your-ass kind. We need it to happen on Glasso Design. Yes, G-L-A-S-S-O. Based in Aspen Hill. Yeah. That's great. Thanks Dermot. "
She was looking at Mark the whole time. He just looked back at her, expressionlessly. When she was done, he said, "Haven't you done enough? First I find out my kid isn't mine, thanks to super whore here, and now I get an IRS audit?"
"Ohh, is my lickle baby all upset? Oh dear, can't have that, can we? We need to make you REALLY upset. So, let's do this."
April dug around in her purse and produced another file of documents in a manila folder. She threw it onto the coffee table, after the first document. As she did, several photographs spilled out and as Penny started to reach for one, Mark saw what they were and yelled, "NO" and tried to reach for them.
Penny got there first, and uncomprehendingly picked up a picture depicting Mark, standing, with a slim brunette woman on her knees, with his cock in her mouth. She dropped the picture and picked up another one. This one had the girl on her knees with Mark thrust deep in her. The quality of the pictures was grainy but the content clear.
She looked up in shock at April, then at Mark. "What...what is this Mark? What are these? Is that Melissa?"
"That is indeed Melissa, Marks personal assistant. As far as we can tell, it's been going on a while there Penny. Not been taking care of things at home have we? Tsch tsch. Not a good idea with a man who thinks nothing of taking someone else's wife. Oh, she is married by the way. In case you didn't know. With a child too. And another one on the way. SAY! You don't think that perhaps this might be a real child for Mark, do you? One he actually sired? What do you think Penny?"
"It's lies, Penny. All Lies. These are photoshopped. This bitch is just trying to cause trouble, split us up."
Penny just looked at him, still uncomprehending.
"Well, you might say that. It's not true though. The file is full of times and dates, and a couple of videos my guys got from the cheap little motel they use when there are people at the office. It's grainy, but I think you'll get the picture. So, let's recap. Marks business is going to have serious trouble because he's going to have the IRS up his butthole for weeks, you didn't tell him his own son is not his, and Mark has been having an affair with his personal assistant and you had no clue. Now you truly have an idea of what you fucking assholes did to Joe."
There was silence for a second, then a sob from Penny.
"So let's ensure that we all understand the situation here. I can make more happen if I choose to – I just don't right now. Enough bombs for one day I think. The only thing you are going to do, Penny, is tell Aaron the truth about his parentage. He'll be confused, but he's young and he'll adjust. Mark, you are pretty much his dad, and much as it pains me to admit, even you, asshole as you are, will do a better job than none at all. So you'll be around, and you'll continue to love him, or I'll know the reason why, do I make myself clear?"
Both Penny and Mark looked over at April, with unabashed loathing in their eyes. April smiled back and stood up. "Good. Is no one going to see me out?"
Mark didn't get up, but Penny did. She threw herself at April shouting, "Bitch", a move which shocked Mark, never having seen this side of Penny before, but which did not shock April at all.
