It Ain't Paranoia if... Pt. 02 Ch. 09

I know the hotel. "Well, I guess that wasn't too much of a letdown. The restaurant there is excellent; Zagat score of 25, if I remember correctly. How was the rooftop lounge? Did they have a good band?"

I heard a quiet sigh, and then resignation. "The restaurant was excellent; we tried different things and shared. Yes, we went to the lounge for a few drinks, and, yes, they had a very good band. The band was all female, they were our age, and they played music from back in our high school and college days. Keesha, Lady Antebellum, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga... you know."

"Sounds like dancing music. Did you get asked more than Ashley, Eva, and Addy?"

"I don't know," she replied with a touch of exasperation, "we weren't exactly keeping count. There was a seminar on how to do business with the state government going on in the hotel, so there were a lot of men and we did get asked to dance some, but we didn't - I didn't - really do anything wrong... anything you'd be mad about... I don't think."

"So this was your bachelorette party? Did you have any male strippers?"

"No, Rob, there were no strippers!" Her exasperation was growing. "Why are you asking me all this? Did Felix or JJ say something?"

"No, you sounded guilty as soon as you answered. When are you going to tell me what really happened - especially the part you know I'm going to be mad about that you're downplaying?"

A bigger sigh. "Seriously, I don't remember doing anything that should make you mad, but we'll talk more about it when we get back tonight. I need to get dressed now; we're finishing our shopping at Barton Creek Mall, and then heading to the airport. We should be back in time to eat supper with everyone.

"You'll love some of the things I bought! I'll show you tonight. Love you bunches! See ya soon!"

I ruminated before phoning Felix. "So the ladies had fun last night? How much fun?"

He started laughing. "Oh, they had a lot of fun, especially after the tequila shots the businessmen bought them! I have some photos I'll show you later. Gotta run now - they're heading for the mall."

The words were discomfiting, but his tone of voice was light and teasing; not the voice he would use if he had pictures of my fiancée cheating. Oh well - guess I'll get busy; plenty to do before supper.

With Felix out of the picture I worked out at my own pace and in my own way. I pushed myself, yes, and I did the workout he and my physical therapist had dictated for my 'complete recovery,' whatever that is. I got the burn and the buzz, but without the needles in my chest and the buzzing in my head that Felix sought. Maybe Kaitlyn's nightly sexercise program was working.

When that was done, I sought out two men I knew had extensive battle experience. Knowing Clay had deferred to them during the planning for our Mexican excursion gave me confidence they could answer my questions, and help me understand why the defensive systems at the Mountain and Desert Lairs had been restructured and augmented as they had.

Both were former pilots who became members of USAF Special Reconnaissance units, and usually went by their 'call signs'. "Ox" was a big old boy - 6'5" or taller and at least 275#. Cuchillo was a smallish, wiry Latino reputed to be a deadly stalker and a wizard with a knife (cuchillo). Clay called them "respected strategic and tactical planners with a deep understanding of modern warfare." That was good enough for me.

Up close and personal they were a bit intimidating, and I admitted up front that I knew zero about battlefield tactics, much less the use of the manned and unmanned aircraft, SAMs, MANPADs, Javelins, and HIMARS. They smiled tolerantly and promised that I "would know just enough to be dangerous" by the time we finished this afternoon, and then extracted a promise I would not try to interject strategy into the planning sessions based on the little I would know.

Six hours later, my head was spinning. They had used vantage points at the Silverleaf Ranch, the 6400 Ranch, and the Crescent Moon Ranch, as well as aerial maps of the Desert Lair and the surrounding Ranchita Daga Plana (Dagger Flats Ranch), to educate me about the placement of defensive and offensive weapons in an elongated battle zone.

There was no need for the promise I made; I had an inkling of why what was where, and how it would be used, but not nearly enough to "interject strategy." Nonetheless, after grilling me they seemed pleased, as if I were a competent student.

One thing I did understand - or maybe it's two things: if the Freedom Forcers, whom our guys are calling the F'ers, carried out their threat to go after me and my property first, they better send the good stuff; and, the safest place south of Camp David might be the Mountain Lair. With those new certainties in mind, I quizzed Ox and Cuchillo about the relative safety of my family if lodged with Kaitlyn's parents in Tennessee compared to the Mountain Lair.

They smiled in unison, and laid the foundation for making the obvious choice.

"What about the upcoming weddings at the Desert Lair?" I asked tentatively, afraid of the answer.

"No place is as safe as the Silverleaf ranch, but they would need to sow the equivalent of an EF-5 tornado to harm you and your guests," Cuchillo predicted. "Get married, enjoy the festivities and guests, and sleep well. You'll be safer there than you were in San Antonio or your ladies are in Austin."

It was only later that my mind asked, "How did they know about Austin... or San Antonio?"

****

"Hola, Raymundo! Como esta?"

"Estoy muy bien? Y tu?"

"Yeah, I'm all good too. But I have a few questions for my amigo. You got time for a conversation?"

He did, so I first asked, "What's the status of the sicarios? My government contacts say they have eyes on them, but no one is telling me anything?"

"Unfortunately, my friend, it looks like they are finishing up their training and may be heading out soon. They are practicing with new weapons now, unlike any I've ever seen their kind use before, including RPG's, M2 machine guns, and a Gatling gun. The machine guns and Gatling gun are mounted on Humvees. They can't smuggle those across, so they must have some hidden on your side of the rio.

"They worry me enough that I've proposed an assault on them, but my contacts with your government are reluctant to act without proof of their intentions. That is typical Norteamericano foolishness; the only way to get proof of their intentions is to let them attack you and your familia! Gringos locos!"

"I want the name of your contact, but first let me ask: do you have any idea where they will be heading?"

"No, but everything is redundant; they have two squads and they are equally well armed, but one has is larger. They are training separately and it is not the same training they are receiving. I believe they intend to send two squads to hit different locations."

"And what does your American contact say about that?"

"He just shrugs and says we need more intel, but won't let me send men into the campo to learn more!"

"Yeah, send me his name and whatever you know about him; looks like Esteban needs to do another deep dive."

"One more work question, and then the big one. What's happening with the motley crew of foreigners in the valley west of Presidio?"

"We don't have a government overseer there, so we have men inside. Probably three in ten of them are eastern Europeans, mostly from Belarus and Chechnya, or Russians; two in ten are Arabs, two are Asians - North Koreans, we believe - and the others are from central American gangs in El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, or Nicaragua.

"As you say, they are a motley crew. They don't train, they stay with their own kind, and each cadre has its own leaders. We don't intend to let them cross the river, but it would be interesting to see what happens if they had to fight together.

"We haven't seen new weapons brought in, but they have enough helicopters to carry them and their weapons deep into Texas. IF, they get past our missiles and anti-aircraft batteries."

I thanked him for the updates and said, "And now for the big question, my friend? Are you coming to my wedding, and are you going to stand up for me during the ceremony?"

"My wife and children are excited to be joining me at your wedding ceremony. So excited, in fact, they had to go shopping in San Antonio to get the proper clothing, and my pocketbook is bleeding!"

He paused, as if gathering himself, and, with a slight break in his voice, said, "I'm quite honored to be asked to stand beside you. Our relationship transcends borders and the boundaries of our businesses, mi hermano, and being asked to stand with you cements our bonds!"

"Mil gracias, hermano. My wedding would not be possible without you, it would be incomplete without your family, and I look forward to meeting your lovely wife and children."

After we said our goodbyes and made new promises to keep each other informed, I breathed a sigh of relief: Raymundo would not be coming with his family if he believed it would be dangerous.

****

I sent JJ the information on Tomas Robles, the American who was supposed to be working with Raymundo and his soldados, and asked for a full report by tomorrow. Then I sat and considered what I had learned. The most concerning thing was that the sicarios had divided into teams; one larger, one smaller, but equally well armed. The larger team seemed destined for either the wedding or the Mountain Lair, but we have plenty of defensive firepower at both locations.

As much as I didn't want to consider it, it seemed possible that the smaller team had been assigned to attack Joe and Brooke's home in Tennessee. If true, that meant they knew of my plan to spend Christmas there, and leave my wife and children there until after the reckoning on January 1. How they would know that when only my inner circle had been told was beyond me, but it seemed a real possibility.

Official government overseer notwithstanding, I vowed to tell Raymundo to send his people in to get information, even if Tomas Robles passed the close examination he was about to receive.

I'd about given up on the idea of leaving my family in Tennessee anyway, with all the assurances that the Mountain Lair was the safer place, but the possibility that our enemies know my closely kept plans is extremely disconcerting! If true, we need to get to the bottom of this immediately, and remove the source!

A call to Esteban confirmed he is at Crescent Moon, that the majority of the ISR team is with him, and that we can meet as soon as I can get there. "Esteban, I want to meet in one of the SCIF's; just you and me! You can bring in anyone you trust completely, after we talk."

We met in the secure room under the larger warehouse; that he enabled a 'white noise machine' was overkill, but reflected my concern. After recounting the part of my conversation with Raymundo that was focused on the two teams of sicarios, I presented the problem I wanted addressed.

"We'll give Raymundo time to find out more about the plans, but I think we need to assume one team will show up in Tennessee. The question is, how do they know my plans? This has happened several times, and I've concluded either we have another mole, or we're being surveilled."

"There are a lot of ways your personal plans could be intercepted, but Tino and I will start with a thorough sweep of your house and grounds. The rest of the team will check this place out, for the second time. We'll assume the surveillance is intermittent and run our countermeasures for 24 hours.

"But, Boss, if we don't find electronics..."

"I know, and you've vetted everyone six ways from Sunday! I'll hope it's something we've overlooked."

Our timing was impeccable; our elevator reached the surface just seconds before the plane touched down. Esteban called two of his best to a meeting, and I took the Suburban to pick up the not-so-weary travelers. I got excited hugs from all four of the ladies, but only three accepted my offer of a ride to the house; Addy was taking the plane to be serviced.

Felix and JJ were sitting in the third row of seats; Kaitlyn was riding shotgun, with Eva and Ashley in the second row. I adjusted the mirror, caught Felix's grin, and said, "Hey, I hear you guys have some photos and video I need to watch."

"Actually, you, Claude, and Clay should all watch the video," Felix replied seriously. "We'll set it up on the TV in your office, since the kids will be home soon."

Though I was looking in the rear view mirror at Felix, I could see Eva sitting behind Kaitlyn, whom I could see out of my exceptional peripheral vision. She flushed, and then her face became stoic; Eva, on the other hand, turned red. Felix smirked at me and shook his head. Ashley laughed out loud.

After not seeing them for two whole days and one night, the moms really needed to play with their children! However, when the men gathered in my office after supper, the children were dispatched to bathe and get dressed for bed, and told their parents would come up to say their night prayers in a few moments.

Eva pulled a chair up next to Claude, but Kaitlyn just flopped down in my lap. "I'm as curious as you are about this video, honey. We went to the restaurant on the 32^nd floor to eat, and then we danced a little as a group. We were sipping our original drinks, just talking, when this group of well-dressed men - probably eight or nine of them - pulled a couple of tables together next to ours, and started conversations with us.

"We mostly talked over the divide. We did dance with them on some of the fast songs, but it was all innocent - I swear! They were buying rounds faster than we were drinking them, so we each had a couple of untouched drinks. This older man had been sitting and watching, just sipping his favorite tequila, when one of the young guys challenged him to drink tequila shots.

"Gabriel just laughed - the older man, I mean. He shook his head and condescendingly said something like, "This is Herradura Seleccion Suprema Extra Añejo - it goes for over $400 a bottle! You sip it, Sonny, you don't chug it like $10 mescal!"

Eva interjected, "A good song came on and four of the men asked us to dance. Those still at the table were having a loud argument, but we were out on the floor dancing and laughing. When we came back, our drinks were gone, and we each had three shot glasses of tequila, with lime slices and little saltshakers.

"The young guy - I think his name was Tad, or Todd - said they had decided to have a tequila tasting. One was a cheap brand, one was a more expensive brand, and another was some of Gabriel's fancy stuff. No one knew which was which, but we were going to down shots, starting on the left, and review the tequila after each shot.

"Yes, we probably should have said no and gone back to the rooms, but we were having fun, and taste-testing tequila sounded exciting. Besides, we knew Felix and JJ were around somewhere to protect us, so we agreed to join them.

Kaitlyn took over again. "The problems were, we'd already had a few mixed drinks, and those weren't the little shot glasses people usually use - they were twice as big!

"Anyway, after the third round - we all picked it as the best - Tad had to buy us another round of the $400 tequila. After that, my memory is kind of fuzzy. Well, actually, very fuzzy!"

Then, she very brightly wiggled on my lap and proclaimed, "And that's why we want to see the video too! None of us remembers doing anything wrong, but Felix has been teasing us and he wouldn't show us the video, so... someone turn it on and let's watch!"

The video was actually cute, and about as innocent as they claimed. It was fun watching them being so animated and excited, and they proved again that all are gorgeous and can dance like pros. After four shots, however, the dancing became disjointed - almost spastic; and, for the first time, they agreed to slow dance when the music changed.

Kaitlyn's young man - he looked like he was barely legal - was holding her tightly; possibly, because she looked like she might fall if he didn't. His hands wandered down to grasp her round butt; she drunkenly chastised him and tried to move his hands. He held on, so she twisted around and tried to escape. He pulled her back and held her against him, hands on her ass, and tried to kiss her.

She put her mad face on, placed her hands on his chest and pushed hard, but he held on. Her efforts, though, caused her to turn green. If he hadn't been so drunk, so bent on feeling her up and trying to kiss her, he'd have seen it coming. But he was otherwise occupied, so he didn't - until it was too late!

She projectile puked all over his face, neck, and chest! He turned her loose and staggered back, a look of horror on his face... and then the smell brought realization, and he puked all over the floor!

The bar's security man/bouncer was nearly to them by then, but the dual sources of puke stopped him in his tracks; he covered his mouth and scurried backward out of the danger zone.

The camera had also been getting closer as Felix and JJ hurried over to help Kaitlyn fend him off, so we had a real close-up of the vomiting and the faces of Kaitlyn and her suitor.

"Oh my god!" she exclaimed, grasping her stomach with one hand and placing the other over her mouth. She looked on in horror, before turning to Eva and Ashlyn. "Why didn't you tell me what happened! No wonder the hotel brought my new dress to me this morning in a plastic cover and said 'it's on the house'. I was so hungover I didn't even think to question what happened."

Ashlyn was bent over laughing, but Eva said, "Look at me on the video! I'm dancing way over by the windows when this is all happening. When I got back, they were cleaning up the floor, you and JJ were gone, and everyone was laughing at your dance partner when he staggered out of the restroom shirtless!"

"Hey, Felix, go back to the moment when Kaitlyn goes all Linda Blair and make a copy; I want to keep a clip to use in our wedding video!"

That earned me a sincere blow to the shoulder, and Felix a warning. I was about to get myself in deeper when Claude crooked his head, assumed a puzzled look, and asked, "Eva, I have a couple of questions; why are you two on the far side of the dance floor, and aren't his hands on YOUR ass?"

The good doctor / Claude's fiancée turned the reddish-brown color that signals her extreme embarrassment. She looked apprehensive, but mostly unsure of the answers. "I... uh, I... I don't really remember! I know that sounds silly, but I honestly don't remember much after we drank the last shot. I remember feeling - what's the old saying about tequila? 'Invincible, invisible, and bullet proof,' and accepting his request to dance, but then it all fades to black!"

Watching her friends' contrite and dread-filled looks, Ashley's laughter finally faded. "The tequila kicked my ass too, but since Felix and JJ aren't coming to your rescue, Bitches, I will. Yes, all three of us were stupid for falling into the 'shots of tequila' trap after three margaritas each, but other than the unsolicited gropes they got in before you fended off the octopi you were dancing with, nothing happened that would fail the 'husband test'.

"On the other hand, Eva needs to buy JJ a very nice Christmas present for supporting her drunken ass down the elevator and back to the room, and laying her on her side in case she started puking again!

"Princess here owes Felix a new suit, and she owes me an expensive diamond tennis bracelet for stripping off her puke-covered clothes, wrestling her into the shower, and cleaning her off with water and GoJo - soap wasn't strong enough! Then I had to wrestle her back out, push her against a wall to dry her off, and then practically carry her to bed!"