It was Just a Joke!

Thanks for opening up this April Fools Day Story Contest 2024 story, and thanks to @Rookie1255 for putting up the idea in the forum.

===

"Come on Gordon, no. It's got to stop."

"Why? The kids love it!"

"No they don't. They put up with your practical jokes, but they haven't loved them since they were ten. Booger sandwiches and fart cushions just aren't funny."

"I respectfully disagree."

"Gordon..."

"Oh, all right, killjoy. Is it ok if I give Olivia her traditional birthday joke? She only turns eighteen once, then I promise to tone down my japery. Except for special occasions, like April Fools Day, birthdays, random public holidays..."

"Gordon..." Sarah sighed and shook her head, "Fine. Just this one last time, but I'm not having anything to do with it, and don't rope Jacob in on it either. And make sure it's pretty obvious it's a joke. I don't want a repeat of when you said you were taking Jake to see Hogwarts, and you went to a pig farm."

"In my defence they were hogs, and some of them may have had warts."

"Seriously, why did I marry you?"

"You thought I was funny."

===

"Gotta be good. Something unexpected. Something that she won't immediately see as a prank." Gordon drummed his fingers on the desk and scrolled through a myriad of online options. He loved practical jokes, and always thought he should have been a clown instead of a chiropodist. He had wanted to become a heart surgeon at medical school, but got cold feet instead. "And no one around to hear my... hello, you look interesting."

A particular website caught his eye, so he clicked through to check out the details of their offering. It was good. Believable at first glance, but sprinkled with enough hints for the careful observer to pick up the joke.

"That'll work. It fits, and if I give it to her on April Fool's Day, there's no way she'll think it's serious," he chuckled as he clicked 'Buy Now!'

===

"Olivia, can you come in here, please?"

"Sure Dad, what's up?" Olivia stepped into the kitchen and looked at her parents sitting at the table. Her dad was looking down and tapping his fingers on a large faded yellow envelope, but her mum was sitting back, a completely blank look on her face. "Umm, is everything ok?"

"Have a seat, Poppy. There's something we need to share with you."

"Ok," she said and slowly sat, "Sounds serious."

Gordon nodded. "It is. You've probably wondered why you are the only redhead in the family. We've always said it's because you're super special, which is very true. Remember, we love you very much, but now that you're eighteen, you deserve to know the truth." He slid the envelope across the table. "There's a lot to take in here. Take it back to your bedroom, read it all very carefully, and we'll talk later. If you want."

Olivia picked up the official looking envelope. Her dad just smiled at her and shrugged, but her mum was staring daggers at him. Whatever was in the envelope, she suspected her mum didn't want her to see it. Frowning at the odd sight, she headed back to her room.

"What's in it?" Sarah asked her husband when their daughter had left.

"My little birthday joke let loose on the best day of the year."

"Gordon. What was in the envelope?"

"Just some fake adoption papers. Nothing serious."

Sarah pursed her lips and exhaled slowly. "This is not going to end well. No. More. Jokes."

===

Olivia sat on her bed and carefully placed the envelope down. Her dad was right. She had wondered why she was so different from the rest of the family. From what she could recall from her biology classes, the odds of two dark haired parents giving birth to a redhead was extremely low, even when the historic gene pool was considered. She knew her mum's mum was Irish, but she wasn't sure of her hair colour as Nana had died many years ago, and there were no colour photos of her. Her dad's parents were definitely all dark haired.

She pushed the envelope around, not wanting to see inside but curiosity eventually won.

"Oh God, I knew it!" she gasped as the first paper half slid out, headed 'Notice of Adoption'. Olivia threw the envelope to the end of her bed, drew her knees up under her chin, and started sobbing. Her world was a lie. Her family was a lie. Everything she thought was true and loving was a fraud. She fell back and stared at the roof of the room where she had existed for the last eighteen years. Suddenly, it didn't feel like hers anymore, and she needed to get out. She stood and trudged to her bro... no, friend's room. Hopefully, Jake would still be her friend once he knew the truth.

"Jake, can we... umm, just hang."

He looked up from his textbook. "Geez Liv, you look terrible. What's up?"

"Nothing. Just..." She sat on the bed beside him and let her head fall on his shoulder. "I'm a nobody. I don't belong here."

"Where'd this come from? You were fine at dinner."

"I didn't know I was adopted then."

"What?"

"I'm adopted. Dad, no, Gordon gave me the papers just now. Said I should know now I'm eighteen."

"Fuck. What did mum say?"

"Nothing. She looked at... him like she was trying to kill him with laser eyes or something. Shit," she spat out, and burst into tears. "Who the fuck am I?"

Jake put his arm around his sister. His sister... Was she his sister? Did it really matter if she was or wasn't? She had been a part of his life since he was two, and he had no memories from then to know how she came to be with them. "Does it matter? You're still the pain in my arse that steals my chips at every opportunity."

She shook her head vigorously and shrugged. "Doesn't make any difference."

"Yeah, I guess so," he said and glanced down at his sister. "Uh, Liv... You may want to adjust your top."

As she had shifted, the neckline of her tank top pushed forward, and Jake stared at a perfect rose pink nipple, surrounded by a halo of lighter pink.

"Don't care. Look all you want. You're just another random guy who wants to see my boobs."

"Hey, that's unfair. I was just letting you know you were exposing yourself. Anyway, getting back to this adoption thing. Are you sure it's not just a dad joke? It is April one."

Olivia slid down so her head was resting on his thigh. "I'm sure. The envelope is old and has an official stamp on it, and the papers I saw looked real. Plus, Mum - Sarah was furious. She couldn't have faked that."

"Oh. Well, in that case, if I'm not your brother, can I see your tits again? They're awesome. Tiny, but still awesome."

"Jake!" Olivia sat up and hit him with his pillow. "They're perfectly proportioned, and do you go around asking all your female friends that?"

"Only the ones that offered me to look all I want." He reached under her top and tickled her sides. "Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!"

She giggled and squirmed away. "You prick, you know I'm ticklish there."

"Years of experience, Liv. I know all your tickley spots."

"Maybe, maybe not." She tilted her head and smiled. "You did that deliberately, didn't you?"

"Duh. Of course. Feel a bit better?"

"Yeah, a bit. Still want to look at my teeny tiny bumps?"

"Umm, well, if you're offering, but you don't have to. I was just mucking around. Why?"

"You've got an escapee," she said, pointing at the leg of his shorts, "and it's only fair I show you mine as you've shown me yours."

"Oh, umm, sorry. Didn't mean that to happen."

"All good Jake. That's a nice looking trouser snake." Olivia peeled off her top and threw her arms wide. "Ta-da! There you go. One pair of boobs. Enjoy."

Jake bit his bottom lip and slowly nodded. "I will, thanks. They, you, well you look great. You look hot sister-not-sister." He took a deep breath and whipped off his shorts. "Can't let you beat me."

"Ooo, a challenge. Fine, but I can do that too." Olivia stood, stripped off her pyjama pants and posed, fists on hips. "Your move, smarty pants. Well, no pants."

"We haven't done the challenge game for ages. I think the last time was to see who could eat the grossest thing in the backyard," laughed Jake. "Nicely trimmed muff, by the way. Looks good on you. You look good. Really, amazingly hot. I can't believe you don't have a serious boyfriend."

"Yeah, same here, and thanks." The two stood and looked at each other, eyes drifting from head to toe, but mostly focusing on each other's pelvic area.

"So, now what Liv?"

"I really don't know, but this was fun. Thanks for cheering me up."

"Yeah, same. I needed some awesome boobs to wake me up from that book."

They stared at each other for what seemed forever. Olivia watched Jake's hand slowly grasp his cock, and he watched her tug her pussy hair and rub a breast.

"Wanna do it?" she whispered.

"Fuck yeah!"

===

"I would have thought she'd be down by now. Maybe we'd better see if she's alright."

"She's probably really upset with you, Gordon. That was not funny."

"But there's no way she could have taken it seriously! The orphanage was Methuen Home for Girls, the birth certificate had her born in Arkham Hospital, with her parents being Tom and Martha Wayne! And the photos were all easily picked as fake."

"Still... Ok, let's go and talk."

They left the kitchen and climbed the stairs, and were greeted by the sounds of flesh slapping together, overlaid by deep grunts and higher pitched moans.

"Did Jake sneak a girlfriend in?" whispered Sarah.

"No idea, but it sounds like it. He knows the rules though. No entertaining others if there's family in the house," Gordon whispered back. "Let's talk to Livvy and deal with him later."

They crept to their son's door, which was wide open. His arse, pointing directly at them, was bouncing up and down, his cock sliding into a girl who had her legs pulled up to her head. The two lovers were oblivious to them, and his parent's jaws dropped to the floor, watching them enthusiastically fuck each other.

Sarah grabbed her husband's arm and motioned for them to move away from the door. "That's just not on, but I'm glad he was wearing a condom," she whispered angrily.

"Was he? Good, but I didn't notice. She was a redhead though, from what I could tell from the pubic hair."

"Who though? I didn't think he had a girlfriend. Anyway, that's for... Where's Olivia?"

Their daughter's bedroom was empty, and a quick check of the bathroom was empty too. A very familiar female voice murmured from their son's room, "That's it Jake. Half time, change sides. My turn on top."

The parents looked at each other in horror, blood slowly draining away from their faces. "They wouldn't be, would they?" Gordon asked.

"If they are, it's your fault!" hissed Sarah.

They snuck back and peeked around the door. There was no doubt about it. Their son and daughter were having sex. Olivia was now on top of her brother, her long hair cascading down her back providing the proof they didn't want to see. Gordon went to say something, but Sarah grabbed his arm and dragged him down the stairs.

Gordon looked at Sarah, confused. "Why'd you do that? I was going to tear strips off them."

"Right. You are not doing that because not even two hours after you gave Livvy that so called joke, your son is fucking my daughter. Do you think that's a coincidence?" She rubbed her temples with her fingers. "God, what a nightmare."

"Maybe it's a coincidence, maybe not. There must be another logical reason. Could it be a Tik Tok trend?" Gordon shrugged, "Look, it's fine..."

Sarah angrily stabbed him in the chest with her finger. "It's fine? How is this, in any universe, fine? Fix it!"

"Sorry, poor choice of words. Really poor choice. Umm, shit, umm, ok." He looked up as two doors slammed, one after the other. "I'll talk to the kids tomorrow and tell them they can't do that, and they need to forget about it. Ok?"

"Hey Jake, could you please go back in time and unfuck your sister? Thanks, I really appreciate it." Gordon shifted uncomfortably under her withering stare. "This is your mess Gordon. Figure it out without breaking the family apart."

"You know, maybe the best option is to let it fade naturally. Jacob never hangs on to a girlfriend for more than six weeks, so..."

"What is wrong with you? Just let them keep doing it until they get bored with each other?" Sarah growled, whacking him on the shoulder, then rubbed it gently. "Let's call that Plan Z," she sighed. "It might be all we have."

===

Olivia frowned at a feeling of being watched and looked over her shoulder. "Oh shit, we forgot to close the door!"

Jake peered around his sister. "Crap. Well at least mum and dad haven't come up. Wouldn't matter what we are, dad would be yelling at us 'you know the rules blah blah blah and fucking your adopted sister is still really wrong'."

"Yeah. I guess we'd better finish up, just in case. Are you close to coming, because I'm not."

"No, not now. I was getting there when you were on your back, drooling with every push of my cock, but it's a bit soft now."

Olivia dropped forward onto Jake's chest. "I was not drooling. Your dick's not that good. I was just relaxing, trying to forget that envelope."

"Fair enough. So, now what with that... information? "

"Put it in the bottom drawer and like I said, try and forget about it." Olivia slowly lifted her hips so her brother flopped out. "One good thing about condoms. Less mess for me."

"Don't like them, but I'll use them if I have to." Jake tilted his head as the sounds of an argument downstairs floated up. "You'd better go. Sounds like someone will be stomping up the stairs shortly."

"Fine. Just pump me and dump me." Olivia kissed her brother's cheek and grabbed her clothes. "Thanks Jake. This was fun."

"Sure was. Same time tomorrow?"

Olivia paused at the door. "Maybe. I'll think about it."

===

Olivia normally loved Mondays. She had two back to back tutorial sessions, which meant she didn't have to get to uni until 11am, if she wanted. And today, she didn't want to. She just wanted to stand under the shower and let the water wash the dark thoughts away. After she ran back to her room and closed the door, she sat on her bed and stared blankly at the envelope. Things had changed so quickly because of it.

When she was younger, she had wondered why she was different. Not just in the family, but the whole school. Two hundred and sixty shitty little primary school students and only one pale and freckled redhead. Naturally, that didn't make her a target for bullying. Jake had done his best to protect her, but in the end she had to solve her own problems. High school wasn't quite so bad, and university was actually great. Being a little bit different wasn't a bad thing there.

"Hi Liv, don't mind me. Just getting my deodorant."

She opened her eyes and glared at Jake. "Just because you've seen me naked doesn't mean you can cruise in whenever you feel like it. I like my shower time pervert free, if you don't mind."

"Sorry. I promise to knock next time. Did mum talk to you before she left?"

Olivia sighed. Obviously her quiet time had gone. "Sort of. It was weird. On the surface it was a normal conversation, but there was something else, like she wanted to ask me something but couldn't."

"Same here, except it was like she was really mad at me but wasn't going to tell me why."

"Maybe they heard us?"

"If they did, why haven't they yelled at us?"

"I don't know. That's what's worrying me. Amongst other things."

"Yeah. Anyway, I still love you ad-sis. Can't break that overnight because of a stupid piece of paper."

"Thanks Jake. I love you too."

===

Gordon knocked on his daughter's door and went in. "Umm, Livvy? I, umm, was wondering if you have any questions about that... thing I gave you last night?"

"No, not really. I have to say Gordon, it was a pretty crappy joke. To be blunt, giving me that on AF day was not cool."

Gordon flinched when she used his name, not Dad. "Yeah, I guess it was in bad taste. I'm sorry, and I promise that's it. No more jokes on the family."

"Good to hear. They haven't been funny for a long time. Seriously, for the last couple of years you've been trying too hard to beat your last effort, and this was the absolute bottom of the shit pile. It really hurt when I saw it."

"I'm so sorry Poppy. That wasn't my intention. If there's anything I can do to help make it better, please, just ask."

"Thanks. Look, I don't know. Maybe just give me some space, let me do my own thing for a while."

"Sure, sure. No worries, will do. Umm, there is one more thing... Last night... We, your mum and I, umm... know what happened with you and Jake."

"And?"

"Well, umm... you know the rules. No entertaining others when the rest of the family is around."

"Yeah, well. We weren't 'entertaining' each other, although it was pretty entertaining..."

Gordon winced.

"... but Jake was consoling me. There's a difference. I felt a lot better after he gave me a good round of his comfort." Olivia crossed her arms over her chest and glared at her father. "Are you going to ban us from seeing each other? Because that's not going to happen."

Gordon held up his hands and stammered, "No, no. Space and all that. Just... Be careful, that's all. And for god's sake, please don't tell anyone else. They may not understand."

Olivia nodded. "Fair enough, I can see your point. Brother and sister to the world." She got off her bed and hesitantly gave him a peck on the cheek. "And we'll be careful. Promise."

"Good girl. I'd better talk to your mum and let her know what's what. She's worried."

Gordon gently closed her door and went downstairs.

"How'd it go?" asked Sarah.

"Plan Z."

"Shit."

===

"This is really uncomfortable, you know?"

"Well, you wanted a fuck right now, and I need to study for my test, so hold my book steady and stop complaining." Jake said, slowly sliding his cock into his sister. "I don't know why you couldn't have waited an hour."

"I was mad and wanted to prove a point. Are you complaining?"

"Nope, not at all. Having a nude bookrest is pretty good, and one with a built in dick warmer? Fantastic!" He licked his thumb and forefinger, then just before he was about to turn the page, he tweaked his sister's clit.

"Ow! Take it easy, Jake. That's sensitive."

"Sorry. Would you like me to kiss it better?"

"I wouldn't say no, as long as I can put this book down."

"Yeah, of course. I actually stopped reading as soon as you were naked. Couldn't concentrate for some reason."

"That's evil. You mean I've been holding your fucking textbook for the last ten minutes for no reason?"

"Well, it kept me entertained."

"Bastard. You'd better make me come."

"I'll give it a red hot go, Liv."

===

"Hi Mum, how's things?"

Sarah smiled back at her daughter, who had stopped calling her by her name. It was a small thing, but she hoped that things were getting back to normal. "Hi Poppy, how was uni?"

"All right. Nothing too exciting. The girls might be going clubbing Friday, so I'll probably stay at Madi's house overnight."

"Oh, ok. Is, umm, Jake going?"

"God no! It's just us girls. We don't want any random guys tagging along. It would crimp our style," Olivia said, flicking her hair up. "Which reminds me. Is he here?"

"Yes, upstairs. Why?" A faint flicker of hope that the nightmare was nearing the end lit up.

"I promised him a blowjob for doing some printing for me."

"Oh." The flickering light went out.

===

Jake wound his hand in his sister's hair and yanked it back, Olivia squealing and arching her back to try and compensate. He laughed, and ground his pelvis against her arse. "You're such a bad fucking slut aren't you? Letting your brother use you whenever he wants, like the cum dumpster you were made to be. What are you, fuckslut?" he asked and slapped her bum hard.