JAG: Sarah Ch. 03

"John," she began "I only have an hour for lunch, and I'm not really hungry. Can't we just find somewhere to talk?"

"That sounds good to me, Sarah. I'd like that."

Silently, he drove along Fuller Road, turning south on Potomic Ave, and again along River Road toward the town of Quantico. There, on a promontory overlooking the river, he brought his car to a halt and sat staring at the rain sheeting down the windshield.

"Sarah...I need to know...is it over between us? Is what I do so terrible, that what we had is finished? I can't keep waiting for the other shoe to fall. I need to know..." he repeated again, "I can't go on this way."

"Oh John..." she rasped, her voice hoarse and strained, "I worried so much when you were gone. I've had so much pain in my life...I just couldn't take any more. So, I tried to put some distance between us...to push the hurt away. But it didn't work. It's still there...stronger than ever...and I'm the cause."

She swallowed hard, her voice failing, her eyes haunted and pleading.

"John...I'm sorry. I know that you did what you had to do, and that as a Marine I should understand, but loving someone as much as I love you is like giving hostages to fate...in the space of a heartbeat it can all be over. I could lose you, and spend the rest of my life in mourning. I couldn't live with that."

John tensed, sure that her next words would spell the end of them...the end of everything.

Gently, Sarah took his hand in hers. "But I can't live without you either. Without you I'm not really alive. I love you, John...I need you."

Closing his eyes, John breathed a ragged sigh of relief. "Thank God, Sarah...thank God."

Then hesitantly, as though for the first time, John pressed his lips to hers, tasting first one corner, then the other, his hand coming to rest on the curve of her hip.

John...John, I've missed you so." she cried. "Hold me...hold me."

Obediently, John placed her atop his lap, pressed snugly between his body and the steering wheel.

Sarah inhaled the masculinity of him, stroking his face as she once more sought his lips, her touch becoming more frenzied with each moment.

"Sarah...we can't...not here. Let me pick you up after work. We'll have the whole night to catch up on lost time," he gasped, feeling his arousal pressing heatedly against her bottom.

"Touch me, John. Please...I've wanted to feel your hands touching me again for so long. Please...touch me now. Don't make me wait..." she breathed.

John groaned. This was reckless...impossible...but his hands longed for the touch of her flesh as well, and he knew that it had to be.

Tenderly, his right hand began to stroke the satiny length of her thigh beneath her skirt, caressing her buttocks, pulling her underwear and pantyhose past her hips, and down the length of her legs. Then, dropping her shoes to the floor, he added her undergarments to the tiny pile and began once again to stroke beneath her skirt.

John leaned her back on his left arm, his lips claiming hers, his tongue thrusting intimately, demandingly within her.

Breathlessly, Sarah felt his right hand slide between her thighs, working its way maddeningly upward, his fingers probing between her wet curls, caressing the slippery nub of her passion.

Sarah closed her eyes as the tension built within her, the proof of her arousal flowing heatedly between her thighs.

And then she gasped...her body quaking under his intimate exploration, her head thrown back as she filled the small enclosure with wordless acclaim.

"Oh John...I've missed you so much!"

"Sweetheart..." he breathed "you have no idea...".

Fall 1993
Durham, North Carolina

Summer passed blissfully for John and Sarah.

When the fall semester rolled around, Sarah once again resumed her studies as a second-year law student at Duke, augmenting her basic studies with individualized coursework involving the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) - the official written guideline for legal jurisprudence within the military.

Sarah was enjoying her independent study course immensely, and opted to write a comprehensive report outlining suggestions for the remediation of gender bias and sexual harassment within the military.

As summer became just another memory, the rolling hills of North Carolina began to shed their garb of green and take on the colors of autumn. Sarah, tired of her forced isolation in the world of academia, felt the urge to get out into the countryside and take in the wonders of nature before the snow began to fall. And so, on a glorious weekend in October, John and Sarah drove out to Rougemont and rented a pair of saddle horses for an overnight trip into the blazing foothills of Appalachia.

The air was crisp as they set out along the trail, their saddlebags filled, and their warm, down sleeping bag stowed behind Sarah's back. Northward they rode, exploring the creeks and inlets along the shores of Falls Lake, stopping periodically to stretch and rest the horses.

At long last they came to a small clearing beside a clear spring flowing lazily into the lake. There, with the autumn sun setting in the west, they made camp and settled themselves in for the night.

While John tethered the horses by the stream, Sarah gathered firewood and began to lay the ground cloth upon which their double sleeping bag would rest.

John had offered to pack the provisions for the trip, but Sarah, knowing that military MREs (Meals Ready to Eat) would be the order of the day, had tactfully suggested that she be in charge of that department. And so, when John returned from tending the horses, he found Sarah kneeling before a blazing fire, a pan of bannock bread sizzling before her, and two chubby baking potatoes wrapped in aluminum foil nestled among the coals.

"Mmmm, looks good," he smiled, his eyes following the curve of her buttocks as she tended the fire.

"John..." she warned, "I know that tone. This isn't a microwave, you know. I can't just come back to it later. I have to keep my eye on it, or we'll have 'burnt offerings' for supper."

"Well, lets see here," he mused, kneeling behind her, his arms encircling her waist. "These potatoes will probably take another hour..." he assessed, his lips descending the line of her neck. "And this bannock..." he tapped a finger against the crusty surface of a patty, will do nicely all banked up right over here." He reached between her thighs and grasped the handle of the cast iron skillet, moving it to the side. "And...what's this?" he asked, raising a silvery packet from the rocks before her.

"Freeze dried t-bones." she offered, her pulse skipping a beat. "I thought..."

"I like my meat rare," he whispered into the stillness of the early dusk. "I think we could put these off on the side of the pit, and let nature take its course."

Nature indeed, she thought, feeling the warmth of the fire between her thighs, and the heat of his body pressed intimately against her backside.

Silently, John guided her across the clearing, his hands stripping her blouse and bra, freeing her breasts in the crisp mountain air...her nipples puckering under the chilled assault.

"Now I'm really hungry," he whispered huskily, his fingers caressing her hardened peaks.

She heard a "pop" as the snap of her jeans give way, and felt the warmth of his hands below her waistband, lowering her pants, kneading the firm roundness of her buttocks.

Sarah pressed her hips against him, feeling the prominence of his manhood prodding intimately against her abdomen.

"Oh John," she breathed, her words muffled as he slid his tongue between her lips. "Take off your clothes...I want to feel you against me..."

Swiftly, John pulled his shirt over his head and reached for the buckle of his belt. In no time at all, his pants were piled on the mossy ground, his full erection wrapped in the last rays of the day.

Sarah dropped to her knees atop the sleeping bag, hungrily eyeing his massive offering.

"My love..." she whispered into the darkness...what about appetizers?"

As the glow of the flames cast their soft shadow across the earth, John lowered himself onto their sylvan bed and rolled invitingly onto his back.

"John...?" Sarah asked questioningly.

Saying not a word, her lover claimed her hand and drew her down atop of his eager body, spreading her legs as though mounting her steed once again.

Then, nudging her forward, he positioned her intimately above his questing lips.

"John!" she flushed, withdrawing slightly, unsure of her response. "I'm so 'out here'...what if someone sees us?"

"Let 'em get their own girl." he grinned wickedly. "You're taken."

Sarah gasped as his tongue began its silken invasion deep within her wet folds, his hands cupping her buttocks, holding her intimately against his hungering lips.

Sarah's felt the strength ebb from her thighs, her body losing control...losing balance.

Then John's strong hands were around her rib cage... supporting her...stroking her nipples with his work-roughened thumbs.

Sarah felt a familiar tightness growing deep inside of her, he breath becoming shallow...ragged. A wave of sexual electricity sweep over her, consuming her, turning her bones to jelly. If not for the support of his strong, competent hands, she would have fallen to the ground... helpless at his touch.

Lifting her once again, John placed her astride his massive erection, waiting for her to engulf his turgid member. But Sarah had other thoughts.

"Not this time, Colonel...I intend to be fed." she grinned, lowering her head to his massive organ, her tongue stroking its full, rigid head...her lips tugging him deep inside her.

Now it was John's turn to gasp. "Sweetheart...if you keep that up, you'll most certainly get your wish!"

Unable to find enough room to accommodate his impressive member, Sarah trailed her hands along his distended shaft, feeling it pulse uncontrollably beneath her fingertips, hearing his erratic breathing deepen and fill the stillness.

"Sarah," he groaned, as she tasted the first salty drops upon her tongue. "Sarah!...Stop!...Red Light! I want to come inside of you...not this way"

Quickly, John reached between his legs and lifted her once again above his throbbing erection. Then, grasping her hips firmly between his hands, he began to thrust upward, driving deep inside her belly.

Sarah felt him fill her, his massive tool plunging harder, deeper than ever before. Like putty in his hands, she leaned forward, bringing the delicate bud of her desire into contact with his thrusting hardness, feeling her own release once again building within her.

Lost in the whirlwind, Sarah threw back her head in wild abandon, her cries of passion carrying in the chill mountain breeze. She felt his moist heat fill her core as his body shuddered and he followed her to a private world, formed by the union of their bodies.

"You're a wild man!" she gasped, her body laying sated upon him. "You take my breath away, my love..."

"Sweetheart...you ARE my breath...and my heartbeat...and my life. I don't know how I could live without you...I'm not sure I could."

"Say," she asked, her pulse finally slowing to a manageable level. "What was that 'red light' thing about?"

"I don't know...I wasn't thinking. I just wanted to warn you to stop. It just popped out, I guess." he responded sheepishly. "Silly, huh?"

"No...I like it. Maybe I can use it in my paper on gender bias and sexual harassment in the military."

"Of course, then there's always 'green light'," she smiled, licking his flat, hard nipples, "and 'yellow light' has some really exciting possibilities..."

"Oh, Sarah...you're insatiable..."

January, 1994
John's home, Courthouse Bay
Camp Lejeune, N.C.

John got word of his new deployment just after the first of the year. In support of United Nations "Operation Continue Hope", he and his men had been ordered back to Somalia.

Determined not to let this come between them again, Sarah pasted a pleasant facade upon her face when her lover was present, and saved her fearful tears for the loneliness of the night.

Once again, she watched as his Humvee vanished down the length of Front Street, taking the love of her life far away, into the arms of danger.

Silently holding the tears at bay, she closed up his Courthouse Bay home and drove away in her Jeep...his pillow tucked into the seat beside her. She had to be strong for both of them...she needed to be a Marine... and Marines didn't cry.

And so, her throat aching for want of him, her eyes filled with unshed tears, she returned to Durham and her studies...and the long, tortuous wait ahead.

Sarah MacKenzie
#716, Central Campus Apts.
Duke University
Durham, N.C.

Feb. 14, 1994

My Dearest John,

Happy Valentine's Day!

How I long to hold you in my arms, to taste your lips, ... to feel you inside of me.

I know that you would never write about classified matters, but CNN shows footage of the horrors that surround you almost daily. I'm so proud of you...your bravery and compassion fill my soul. Because of you and your troops, the people of Somalia will have a chance at a decent life. You're my hero.

I had some good news this week. The person writing this letter is now officially "CAPTAIN" Sarah MacKenzie! My paper on "Sexual Harassment and Gender Bias in the Military" really caused a stir at the Pentagon...can you believe it! You'll be hearing "red light" all over the place when you get back...but not from me, my Darling. Where you're concerned, I'm strictly a "green light" woman...a concept that I plan to explore thoroughly when you get back.

Please be safe, my Love. I long to have you beside me once again when this insanity is over and the peace is won. Until then...you hold my heart in your hands...please take good care of it...

Your loving Sarah

April 30, 1994
John Farrow's Home
Courthouse Bay

John was finally home!

Sarah was exuberant. Anxiously she awaited his arrival home, all of his favorite foods stocked in the pantry and 'fridge...his particular brand of scotch...candlelight... a romantic evening in the works.

At long last they were together. The wait was over, and the world was complete once more.

They spent the night lying in each other's arms, touching and being touched, making long, slow love to beat of their hearts.

Morning found them twined together like tendrils of ivy, their bodies as one, their breathing deep and undisturbed.

Finally, warmed by the light of day, John and Sarah reached for each other once more, and again celebrated the joys of life in each other's arms.

John chose that moment, as she lay sated and content in his embrace, to give her the bad news.

"Sweetheart...I've got something to tell you. You're not going to like it...but I have no choice here."

"John...what is it?" she asked, rising from her lethargy. "Oh, John...you weren't hurt again, were you?"

"No, Sweetheart...that's not it. It's just...well...it's just that we're not staying. I have only this week, then my unit is shipping out again for the Adriatic...to a place called Bosnia. United Nations troops are being deployed into the region to stop an internal massacre of civilians in what the Bosnian Serbs call "ethnic cleansing". We're going to lend support to an international NATO force in operations "Provide Promise", and "Deny Flight".

Sarah was thunderstruck. He was leaving in only one week? The thought was incomprehensible!

"John...I don't know what to say..." she rasped, misery and despair overwhelming her.

She swallowed her tears, a hard lump sticking in her throat.

"I didn't want to tell you last night, Sweetheart. I wanted us to have one night together before I had to start getting ready to leave again."

"Tell me you understand..." he said softly, his lips pressed against the curve of her throat. "Sarah...leaving you hurts worse than anything that could ever happen in battle...please tell me you understand. I have to go. I have no choice."

She couldn't speak...couldn't breath. She wouldn't allow herself to cry. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck, clinging silently to the precious moments left in her care...and let the tears flow in her heart.

October 30, 1994
Marine Base Quantico
Quantico, Virginia

Sarah was in the middle of her legal internship at Quantico.

Six months had passed. The small pile of letters she'd collected in her nightstand drawer had grown, and now lay in a bundled sheaf, gathered within the confines of a large old jewelry box. She'd reread them over and over again, until the creases had grown frail, and the paper had begun to tear and fall apart. Their one-dimensional relationship was no longer enough. Even his pillow had forgotten his scent.

And then the wait was over.

After a six month deployment in Bosnia, John was finally returning home. Surely the 24th MEU would be allowed some "down" time after two consecutive assignments?

Smiling, Sarah thought of the months to come... Thanksgiving...Christmas...the New Year, all in the arms of the man she loved.

She had only six months left in law school, maybe they could begin to make plans for the future...their future...together.

Upon their return, John had given his battalion a week's 'leave' to become reacquainted with their loved ones, and reaffirm the values that they were giving their last measure to preserve throughout the world.

John, himself, paused only long enough to shower, shave and repack, the climbed gratefully into his Humvee and turned northward toward Quantico.

"John!"

Sarah was beside herself with joy. He was here...he was FINALLY here!

Ignoring the dictates of protocol, the two stood in the middle of the Marine JAG office, holding each other as though eternity had come to an end...each lost in the 'oneness' that had finally come to pass.

"John...You're really here." she smiled, tracing the small wrinkles that had grown at the corners of his eyes. "I can't believe it. It's been so long..."

"Sarah...can we go somewhere...away from the base, for a while? Any chance you could get the rest of the day off?"

"Give me a minute." she grinned happily. "I'll see what I can do."

Quickly, Sarah paid a visit to her C.O.'s office. She returned moments later, wreathed in pure joy, and grabbed her purse from behind her desk.

"I have the rest of the week off, John. What exactly did the colonel have in mind?"

Six days...that was as long as he had.

"Let's head back down to Courthouse Bay, Sweetheart. But first, there's something I have to talk to you about. We need to go out to my Humvee and talk."

Wordlessly, John drove to their spot overlooking the river, and set the emergency brake.

Sarah's eyes were dark with worry, her expression somber and puzzled.

"John...what is it? You're scaring me..."

John rested his left hand on the steering wheel, his right hand massaging the bridge of his nose.

"Sarah...I know how hard this has been on you. It may not seem that way...but I do. I just...love you so much. But I can't stand to see you hurt anymore, particularly by me."

"John? What are you saying? Why are you telling me this?"

"Sarah...we're leaving again in a week. The 24th is being deployed to Haiti."

She closed her eyes, her mind reeling from the blow. How could he be leaving her again?

"Sweetheart...I don't want you to wait for me this time," he said.

Sarah's chin sagged, her mouth hanging slack and useless. In the course of a sentence, John had stolen the air and sunshine from her life.

She tried to speak, but words failed her. She tried to breathe, but her body refused to cooperate. She tried not to cry, but the tears began to flow in mindless runnels down the pale ravages of her face.

"Sarah," he continued, realizing that he had driven her beyond the ability to respond. "Sweetheart...my Darling, this is what I mean. I can't let you go on living like this...waiting forever, and then having me turn around and leave...never knowing when we'll be together again, or for how long."