James The Butler

"Obviously changed his mind.”

"He's a crafty old bastard, so was my grandmother. My grandfather decreed it was not me but my children who would be his real heirs. Right away he tried to breed me like a horse."

"Rough."

His hand was on my thigh now and it wasn't sexual, just oddly comforting. His quiet nods and rapt attention goaded me on.

"I resisted and he threatened to cut me off. I told him flat out I didn't give a shit, I could leave any time."

"So why did you stay?"

I didn’t want to tell him the truth but he was making it far too easy. What did it matter? Perhaps this would keep him quiet, buy my grandfather’s spy into switching sides.

"He spent time seducing my father, making him feel powerful, getting him to invest borrowed money in doomed ventures. My dad is now owned by Peter Hyde. Bobby, well, Bobby is owned by whatever hand waggles the food dish first. As long as grandfather is alive I don't have assurance Bobby will be all right.

“He’s a junkie you know, and every time he goes into a program he comes out clean, but eventually he always ends up using. Sometimes I wonder if Grandfather has a hand in that."

"So you stay because of them."

"The day the old man dies I'm gone. I've set it up so Bobby will be taken care of, so will my father, and I’ll be free."

"What will you do with this freedom, Keelin?"

"Write, explore. Just enjoy life knowing that no one is looking over my shoulder. You know grandfather hires private investigators to follow me?” I looked at him out of the corner of my eye and smoothed a tendril of hair behind my ear. “I mean, it's embarrassing, these guys are amateurs. I keep hoping he gets someone better, as a challenge."

I noticed he was pale. "You all right? You look hot, we've been in here a while."

"Yeah, too long in here is not good."

It was an excuse he grabbed with both hands. He was a spy, a challenging one. I didn’t even know how I knew it, it was just instinct.

I wrapped the soiled towel around me and watched as he gathered another around his waist. Pushing the door open I breathed in the cool air and turned off the spa. James stepped out and watched me with quiet eyes.

"I don't think we should do this again, however much we may want to."

"You still haven't given me a valid reason."

"How about this. There are men outside as we speak watching the house. If we get caught in front of a window you’re on the streets and I’m married to goddamn Tom Goddard, forever in this prison. That is not a risk I wish to take.

"James, we have to stop."

His expression was a dance of surprise and anger. "So you're just going to cower? Never take any risks?"

I laughed once more, angrily this time. "You don't get it. Mess with Peter Hyde, cross him, and you risk your life, the life of everyone you love, and everything you ever hoped for, prayed for, wished for, and desired.

“So hell yes I'm going to cower. I have responsibilities, people whose lives depend on me. And I have to walk a fine line to protect them and myself and I cannot take any added weight to pull me."

"Then trust me, Keelin. Trust me not to weigh you down but support you."

"What are you asking? Do you want to marry me, sign a prenup, be my boy toy? Or do you want to fuck me at night and do my laundry during the day? What the hell do you want, James?"

"I don't fucking know!”

“Before you ask me to risk the lives of the people I love you had better damn well know!”

“I don't want to be pressured!"

I threw my free hand down. "Pressure? You want to talk about pressure? Try living in my shoes. Think of what you’re asking me to do!”

"This isn't easy for me, you know! Damn it, I've wanted you from the first time we met. Everyone in my line of work that's ever done what we've done has met a bad end.

“I didn't want to fuck you, I really didn't, but last night you were just so soft, and I'd never seen you soft. If you hadn’t been so…vulnerable I never would have touched you, but now I can’t stop. So I'm weak, you can't blame me. I’m not sorry I found out what we have going here. We can keep this to ourselves, we can be careful.”

"So what happens when this ends?”

"We'll deal with it when we come to it. Look, we're reasonable people."

"This may be America, and it may be the twenty first century to us, but it's not like that in my grandfather's world. All it takes is a kiss in front of a window and a PI with a camera."

"So we'll be careful. We won't speak of this in the day and at night we'll be careful."

"How, James?"

"There are no windows here. Or, we can close the curtains in your bedroom, in mine. I won't betray you by a look, a word, anything. I don't go out, I don't know anyone in this town, I don't have anyone to brag to."

"James, I need to think about this.”

When he was near it seemed to make sense and I needed space. The risks were so great this decision could not be made in an instant.

“Tomorrow, let’s talk tomorrow." I begged.

"Midnight, your rooms. Be ready, Keelin."

He grabbed me and kissed me deep, so deep that I was breathless and trembling by the time he pulled away. My hand had gone slack on the towel and I could only watch him stride off to the bathroom.

What in hell was I going to do? # Sean was tall, taller than James at 6’5”, and massively large. Where James was compact muscle suited to a sleek jungle cat Sean was like a bear. His hair was red, the kind of red that was brown until the natural light hit it. He was good looking in a very rough hewn sort of way, not like James' classical almost Greek statue looks. Sean's hands were like hams when closed and he had a tendency to walk heavily, not so stealthy. He looked a fighter, a brawler, but he spoke like a poet.

His brogue was soft and I could tell he was a lowlander. The man was like two halves smashed together. It was charming, made him spectacular in what could have been a very ordinary life.

"Where should I star'?"

“First order of business, here's a credit card, buy yourself a good laptop. Got a cell phone?"

He shook his head. "All right, get one too, get on Cingular, and set up the billing to this card. Can you get all that done by three?"

He nodded.

"Very well, happy hunting."

I left him then in my personal office to get his bearings on his first day. Sean would be setting up appointments, fielding phone calls, and doing personal errands. For all this grandfather had a spy. This would also make things with James terribly inconvenient.

I spent the morning ironing out the final details with the planner. I was glad she had never thought it gauche that Gramps was having a party within a week of his wife’s death. It was to welcome the South American VIPs displaced by his merger. Just business, no offense grandma.

Sean came back at noon with all he had. I ran down his duties and let him know he would have to learn quickly because in a week I wanted him to start reporting to my Grandfather for social needs.

He was competent and quiet. I had him do some research for my novel and fax my agent. Finally, someone to call her without being forced to talk for hours. That realization was miraculous.

Dinnertime came and he had dinner with the rest of the servants in the kitchen. My Dad toddled down to the second floor and we sat in the informal dining room waiting to see if Bobby was coming.

There was little discussion after an argument about how I treated my grandfather. I grabbed my plate and the decanter of scotch and went to the game room after twenty minutes of haranguing. Dad was firmly in peter Hyde’s palm.

I locked myself in and turned on the mp3 player and speakers. Sarah Brightman poured out. She sang an ode to a lover who’d delivered her, singing the very words my heart ached for.

I poured myself a drink and racked up the balls. When I knew I was alone, that no one could hear me through the locked door, I sang. I’d had my mother’s voice inside me all those years but was loathe to share it, saving it for when I was alone.

I let my heartache pour into the words as I angrily slammed the balls with the cue. My dinner went down quickly, I barely tasted it. I only ate it because I knew I needed the weight, but my father had robbed my appetite.

When I sank the balls only missing two shots I took another drink before capping the decanter. James’ image floated in my mind, disapproving as I drank myself to death.

Damn him! I threw my half filled glass into the fireplace and watched it shatter with satisfaction. All the men in my life wanted something and I couldn’t take it anymore. I was pushed from all sides and it was time to push back.

I stalked over to the door and jerked it open. James stood outside, his hand poised to knock.

“I left a mess,” was all I said as I pushed past him and went downstairs. From the closet I grabbed my motorcycle jacket and helmet. The keys were inside the jacket and I left through the kitchen to the garage.

My Softtail was waiting and she revved right up, annoying the neighbors. The helmet had speakers built in and they connected wirelessly to the iPod I had mounted by the throttle. I put in the mix I wanted and raised the garage door, skidding into the night without looking over the alley.

I turned out onto Lake Shore Drive, LSD to the locals, eventually and headed south. I just wanted to lose myself but I saw headlights following me discreetly 3 cars back. I jerked into the next gear and wildly began changing lanes, moving ahead.

I took my life in my hands, happy for the distraction. This team was better than the others but still not good enough. It took me an hour but I lost them. And found myself outside of Danny’s.

Danny’s was an exclusive club in the worst part of town. Two warehouses comprised it, one heavily guarded where you parked your car, the other tighter than Fort Knox where any pleasure could be bought.

What the fuck, I had my platinum card so I parked.

Inside the DJ had the music pumping, the beat was sexual, and everyone was moving. There was another room, several in fact, where people would be seated. There were rooms to screw and be seen, or to watch. Rooms to be spanked in, rooms for all sorts of tastes. Sometimes with other guests, sometimes with employees.

We all wore masks, paying guests black satin masks that covered all but the color of our eyes and the shape our smiles. Employees wore smaller masks that just covered the eyes. Red silk for the women, black leather for the men.

The paying guests were all heirs and socialites, financial, governmental, and social magnates of their own making or backed by others. None of us could afford to be seen but the risk of exposure is what brought us out. So our faces were better hidden while we reveled in debauchery of the worst kind.

I made my way to the bar and asked for a tall glass of Dewars, feeling cheap. I got it straight up in an icy glass and made my way to the public room. Here I sat on a couch and watched the revelry before me.

Sitting on the left side of the room signaled I was a voyeur and no one approached me. Men and women coupled frantically or with grace, there were gay couples of both sexes and mixed groups. Where I sat were the box seats, my lower half was hidden so I could masturbate without being fully exposed. I passed after a few moments of boredom and drifted to the next room.

It held the pleasures I wished to see and I settled into a box to watch.

Here was pain and domination, humiliation and acceptance. It made me wet, more aroused than I had been since James’ first touches. I became fascinated with a very large man using a whip with such expertise that its application made a small blonde woman scream in orgasm. Again and again he whipped her pussy from behind without actual pain, or at least not much, and she cried out, shaking in a long orgasm.

There were women in spiked boots and men on leashes, women in chains and all manners of tricks. I drank and drank, some enterprising waiter kept my glass filled when I put the empty one behind me until two hours before closing.

I sobered up watching a true master make a man and woman couple in the most impossible ways, denying them pleasure until I wanted to beg him. He stood apart with a cat o’ nine tails and whipped them when they disobeyed. The man and woman were middle aged but well-kept and lithe, and they begged him for release which he kept just out of reach.

I found myself unzipping my pants to play with the wet folds of my pussy as I watched them. The master was something to see, his perfect chest bare over leather pants. It was like he understood them well, and it was his needs they were satisfying. He never looked away from them as their moans grew.

My pleasure joined theirs and I kept myself at a slow simmer until the master forced the man to fuck the woman hard and fast. They came quickly and loudly and I came with them, my hips jerking. I bit my lip to keep from crying out.

I swear the master winked at me. He was young, very young in fact and all I could see was dark hair, dark eyes, a strong jaw and a fantastic body. A swimmer’s build. Something in his gaze said the show had been for my benefit and I blushed, glad for the mask as I looked away.

I zipped up and trudged out with a bulk of people and waited my turn for the valet to pull my bike around. I was mixed in between Bentleys and Beemers, the only bike I saw but no one paid attention. We were all avoiding eyes, keeping our identities secret once more.

I roared off into the night with my mask in my pocket and enjoyed the vibration of the bike between my legs. I came three times as I drove and never saw the exact point at which the tail found me again. It stayed with me as I came home and I waved.

The sedan just screeched and peeled away from the curb into the night.

The house was quiet but I found Bobby in the kitchen, sitting at the table with a handheld Nintendo, the game moving loudly.

“Hey, Keelin.”

“Hey bro. Quiet night?”

“Actually I’m getting ready to go out. I wanted to see if I could get some money for a vacation. Grandpa said I could use the jet.”

“Do I want to know?”

“Three grand is all.”

I gritted my teeth. “Are you buying drugs, Bobby?”

He shut the game off and glared at me with it clutched tightly in his hands. “It’s not like that. This girl I’ve been seeing, well, I just want to show her a good time. I’m clean, I swear.”

His maid hadn’t turned anything in a long time so I had no choice but to believe him. “All right, I’ll have Sean get it to you tomorrow.”

“Sean?”

“My new personal assistant. Nine a.m. okay?”

“That’d be great.”

“Bobby, do not get caught, arrested, and for the love of God, make sure this one is the age of consent wherever you go. Please. Okay?”

He blushed and shrugged, grabbed the keys to the Jag and headed out.

I was still aroused and sighed, searching the fridge for something to take the edge off. Otherwise I was going to just jilloff.

Midnight had come and gone and presumably James had realized I was not a puppet on a string to dance for him. Jesus, a fuck with him would do wonders but I refused to be told what to do.

I found a little sliver of baker’s chocolate and bit off a piece, relishing the bitter taste. I washed it down with milk and loaded the dishwasher, turned it on, and climbed the stairs.

Thank God my room was empty.

I stripped out of my clothes until I was blissfully naked and picked a favorite book from the shelf. The night was hot so I cracked a window and sat on the seat below the bay window.

With the lights burning low I plunged into the wild west where a traveling opera singer was discovered the most irritating and delicious man she’d ever met, and adventures ensued. For the third time that day my fingers found my pussy and stroked. Had I made a mistake? James could satisfy my needs, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go down to his rooms and wake him.

“Where were you?”

I squealed and jumped, the book went flying and I lost my place. I grabbed a big blue pillow and tried to cover my body with it. I was flushed with arousal and embarrassment, staring at James.

“James! What the hell are you doing here?”

He reached over me and closed the window and the shade. “I told you to meet me. You weren’t home.”

“Let’s get this straight. My butler does not issue me orders.”

His dark eyes gleamed and the lines of his face were drawn. A lock of hair was loose and tried unsuccessfully to soften his expression. The top two buttons of his starched white shirt were undone and his tie was hanging from his front pocket. He’d rolled up his sleeves revealing those sensual forearms, and as they flexed I licked my lips.

“Your butler no, but your lover…yes.”

He ripped the ridiculous little pillow away and I squeaked in shock. Bending down to me he caged me between his arms and sniffed. “Christ you were out drinking. Again.”

“My life, my liver.”

His expression softened only a little. “What makes you hate yourself, Keelin?”

I slapped him. Instinct. He took it and his eyes narrowed, even darker. I expected a reprisal but he just licked his lips, like a lion facing a small, quivering animal.

“Get out.” God I hoped that was convincing.

“No.”

“I could fire you.”

“Sexual harassment? That’s beneath you.”

“And just what do you think you’re doing? What the hell do you want from me!” I shoved him but he didn’t move. It was like tilting at a boulder.

“Keep your voice down.”

“Let me get dressed.”

“No.”

“No?”

“Damn it, you won’t run from me.”

“I’m not running from you.” It sounded churlish and God help me, it was.

“Are you going to let your grandfather run your life?”

“Yes. I have no choice.”

“Damn it, Keelin. I don’t think your father or your brother would do the same for you.”

“I know they wouldn’t, James. But that doesn’t excuse it if I abandon them. They’re my family and I won’t do that!”

“What happens when your grandfather dies?”

I froze. “Don’t go down that road. It’s a very dangerous path.”

He sat down next to me and lifted my legs onto his lap, trapping me. I felt very vulnerable naked while he was clothed and he must have planned for it. Bastard.

“Talk to me, Keelin.”

“Why can’t we just keep this physical?” I asked with a soft plea.

“Is that all I’ve been to you? An easy fuck? Is that what you want?”

“Yes. No. Damn it all! Anything is dangerous. You don’t know how many lives we’re playing with here.”

“What if you didn’t have to worry about your grandfather? What then?”

We never would have met. Or we’d still be employee, employer. There was no hope. “I don’t know,” I lied.

“What if there was a way to put your grandfather in jail?”

“What?” That surprised me.

He cleared his throat. “I’ve heard rumors that your grandfather is dealing with some bad people. This deal in South America is for a lot more than what it says on paper. If you could get enough evidence to put him away, would you be free?”

My head was swimming. As a spy for Gramps he might actually know something I didn’t. “I- I guess so. Not that he’d leave any evidence. The man is too smart.”

“He trusts Sean, your assistant told me so. Your assistant is a spy, did you know that?”

“Yes.” No use pretending. But if James was a spy and had no proof, there was no guarantee Sean would know any more.

“You can use him,” James suggested. ”He’s a purchased man, make a better offer.”

“What the hell are you saying?”

“There has to be a plan for the future, Keelin. If you keep going in this vein your grandfather will make sure that his protégé controls you from beyond the grave. Do you want to drink yourself to death before you give Hyde an heir and abandon Bobby and Ralph?”

“Jesus, James. Jesus! You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Shh!” He was holding me now and my face was in his shoulder. Nothing made sense and yet there was a tiny hope of escape. Could it really work?