Jay's Loelife Ch. 11

****

Our campsite is open season for those who want to join, which is a good thing. It keeps Jay and I separated. He uses what food we have left to feed everyone dinner. I honestly don't care. I would've done the same thing. But I'm irritated, so it's irritating.

There's a mean stubborn streak inside me. When I get going, my anger can gain enough momentum to keep a small lighthouse powered for days. It's one of my lesser redeeming qualities.

It's late, probably ten. It's quiet time for the campground but everyone's sitting around our campfire, including the management. I'm standing with a group of college guys when Jay grabs my hand. "Mind if I steal him for a minute?" He gives them a signature smile. "I promise I won't keep him long."

I silently beg for them to tell him 'no' but it's futile. I know this. He's fifty-two percent intimidating and one-hundred-perfect a football god to anyone that cares.

Dread fills my belly as we walk hand-in-hand towards the open area where picnic benches lay deserted. We straddle the bench so we're facing each other. Even in the dark Jay looks like a beaten dog.

"You're so angry at me."

"Kinda, yeah." My words are clipped. If he's looking for an easy out with sad blue eyes and pouty lips then he's barking up the wrong tree.

He moves forward until our knees are touching. "I'm so sorry, Loren. I let my fear control my rational thinking and I went about things the wrong way. Are you going to be mad at me the whole trip?"

"Maybe."

He frowns, in the pathetic way that probably garners him lots of attention. "That would suck."

"Probably."

Jay puts his hands on my thighs and leans forward with a groan until his forehead is resting on my shoulder. "I don't like it when you're in danger."

"I wasn't in danger but if I was, remember that every week you put yourself in the same kind of danger. You don't hear me making a big deal out of it even though I fucking hate it."

I feel like he wants to argue, instead, he looks at me and pouts. His big pink bottom lip sticking out like he has something to prove. "I was worried. I'm sorry. Can we not fight anymore?"

I roll my eyes. So easy for him to just wave this off like it's no big deal. "It might not be a big deal to you but there's a lot of people who go their entire lives not doing what I did today. I was excited to do this for you today and you couldn't even suck it up long enough to be excited for me." I look at him for a minute then shake my head. He doesn't get it. He gets to do whatever he wants. "I'm tired." I get up and return to the campsite full of people I'm about to kick out.

Ten feet from camp I hear the icy footsteps gaining momentum. Jay grabs my hand then lets out the loudest wolf-whistle, rivaling the one Seamus used during the game.

"I hate to break up the party but Loren climbed Mt. Capernaum today and now it's time to sleep. So--" Jay shoos everyone away. "Go now. Buh-bye."

"It's El Capitan," I correct, irritated that he can't even get that right.

Jay just looks at me and winks. "Tell me more about how you were the best corner-thrower linebacker in highschool."

I cross my arms and look away. I hate that he's charming and funny when I'm angry at him.

No one's offended by his abrupt boot-in-the-ass because Jay is forty-eight percent not intimidating. While he deals with the last of the stragglers, I break down the camper and turn it into our fucking awesome super bed, which I wish didn't exist because I'd like to sleep in one side and leave him to freeze to death in the other. I crawl in and begin laying out the bedding.

Jay follows a few minutes later. He crawls up then turns around and closes the door behind him. It's a whole situation to get the door closed when we have the mega bed together but he manages it without my help. The trailer rocks a little while he strips down. Despite laying with my back to him, he curls up behind me. I hate it and I need it, then I hate that I need it. It's annoying. When he's comfortable, he starts feeling around. Not sexually, more in a do-not-tell-me-your-wearing-clothes-you-god-damn-motha-fucka kinda way.

I'm so fucking layered up I could win a game of strip poker with a losing hand.

I swear I hear him flounder but he never says anything. He snuggles against me and then fights the layers of clothes until his hand finds bare skin. He sighs. Like touching me is the only thing right in the world. I sigh because I feel the same. He slides his entire arm under my shirt until his hand is resting on my bare chest, over my heart.

"I love you."

"I love you, too." My words are hardly convincing even if I do mean them.

****

It's still tense when we wake. I barely look at him. He's trying, though. He has coffee ready when I come out. He's scrounging breakfast and making sure everything is packed up. He does everything he can to anticipate my moves and then beats me to them.

My anger fades as we drive south through Death Valley towards Joshua Tree. The next two nights are quiet. No fanfare, no swarms of people. No distraction. Just Jay and I. He feels terrible and is doing everything to garner my forgiveness. I'm thawing, but slowly.

Things are better by the third day but not perfect. There's the last lingering cold front courtesy of yours truly.

"Please, please, please," he begs. We're on our last night near Joshua tree before heading north-east and Jay's been vocal about not going to bed until we're in a good place. "If anyone is listening, they must think I'm begging for sex."

"I'm not mad."

"Oh, you're plenty mad, and I'm plenty remorseful. Please, tell me what I need to do. I don't want to fight with you."

I reach under the blankets and hold his hand. "I'm not that not mad."

"Prove it. Take off the seventeen layers of clothes you've been wearing every night and snuggle me."

I roll my eyes but push the blankets off and stand on my knees. There is no heater and the air is pretty fucking cold. Not as cold as Yosemite, but far from warm. Jay holds my knee as I take the hoodie and t-shirt off. Even as I strip off the sweatpants and socks, he still makes sure he's touching me--heaven forbid I wander too far away.

Divested of everything but my underwear, I climb back under the covers.

"Nuh uh. Nope," he says, pushing me out from the warm spot next to him. "I get naked Loren."

"You're not even naked."

He rustles around under the blanket then tosses his boxer-briefs to the other side of the super bed. Not wanting to freeze, I quickly strip and then burrow back under the blankets. Jay quickly pulls me in and wraps his arms and legs around me so we're facing each other.

"Forget three pounds of clothes, now I'm wearing three-hundred-pounds of Jay," I quip. I'm not complaining. It feels good. So good in fact, I find myself sliding my arms around him.

"I don't want to toot my own horn but I think I look good on you."

I chuckle despite myself.

Jay kisses me before I can protest. I think that's his plan all along--to get me naked and defenseless, then kiss me until I surrender.

And surrender I do. I push Jay on his back and stick my tongue down his throat. Four days. Four fucking days. Jay gives as good as he takes and it's not long before we're both trying to overpower the other. He's on top. I'm on top. He's on top and moving down my body, devouring every inch of me as he goes. He nips my thigh and nuzzles my crotch.

Torture.

I grab his hair and put him where he needs to be.

I'm strung tight as a bow. My toes are to the point of cramping when he finally lets me cum. I still can't see clearly when Jay's own wet warmth is added to my belly.

With a labored breath, Jay covers me with his body, digging his head in the crook of my neck. "This is better."

****

Jays on the other side of the bed when I wake. He's plastered against the canvas wall. He's too far away but I reach for him anyway. I smile. He's out of it, the poor guy. I should leave him alone but my fingers twitch anxiously, slowly reaching until I'm forced to roll his way or not touch him at all.

"Oh hey," he says with one eye cracked. His voice is deep and gravely with sleep. Jay glances at where my hand is resting dangerously close to his morning wood. The corner of his lip curls. He closes his eyes and sighs. Happy. Content.

****

Three days later we're in Colorado. Jay is with a group of lucky fans. The air fills with whoops whistles as they celebrate the best that KOA putt putt golf has to offer.

I watch with amusement from the other side of the campground as I dial Dev one more time. I've been trying for an hour with no luck. My knee bounces anxiously as I wait.

"Loe and behold," Dev says, laughing at his hilarious pun. "What's up?"

"You haven't left yet, have you?"

"Already halfway there. Why? Did you forget something? I brought extra gear."

"Fuck," I murmur. "I don't want to be that fucktard but I have to bail on you."

"What? Why?"

I swallow. There's really no way to tell the truth without looking like you're dick-whipped and house broken. Years of doing what I want, when I want, how I want, has really taken a beating lately.

"Well..." I drawl. "Jay was not stoked after the last climb and it's made for a rough trip. I'd rather sit this one out than ruffle any feathers. I know this puts you in a bind since you're coming all this way because of me."

Dev sighs disapprovingly. It's his account that piqued my interest in rock climbing seven years ago. In fact, it's Dev who invited me to climb for the first time. With a yearly date cemented in the cliffsides of America, I can only imagine his shock that I'm breaking tradition. I've never said no, let alone bailed the day before a climb.

"Well, Doug and Fez are heading that way, so, I guess I'm still going."

"Doug and Fez?" Fuck.

"They wanted to surprise you."

"Way to make me feel like crap."

"If the shoe fits," he teases.

"I'm feeling like a real ass."

"You have a man now, it's not just about you. I do hope this isn't the end of your climbing career. That would fucking suck."

"Nah, it's not the end. Just keeping the peace on vacation, you know?"

"I have a wife, I get it. Anyway, gotta go. Enjoy the rest of your trip and good luck with the auction."

"Later." I hang up and look across the campground. Jay's holding his putt club above his head in victory. Everyone's smiling. If you're going to lose, losing to Jay Petermeyer would lessen the blow, though he could try to be humble about it.

Jay looks in my direction and lights up when he spots me. He whispers something to the guys he's with. Everyone looks at me and waves. Jay waves, too. It's a little finger wave. Kind of mocking, kind of teasing. I sit on my hands to stop from flipping him off.

Fuck it. I raise my finger.

Those blue eyes sparkle all the way from the other side of the campground and his laughs echoes across the open space. Even the ribbing he gets from his fellow competitors carries in the breeze. Jay pouts and puts his hands over his heart like I've mortally wounded him.

The pout quickly turns to a genuine grin.

I press my fingers against my chest just to feel the way my heart beats for him--like it's never beat for anyone before.

It beats for things I never knew existed.