Jenny's Awakening

"Author's Note -- I had intended to rewrite my previous story 'Jane's Addiction' having taken on board some of the more constructive criticism received, such as giving more background. Instead, I wrote an entirely new story, although I've borrowed a couple of scenarios and interactions from that story to use here. I wanted to explore the emotional interaction between characters, rather than portray endless graphic sex scenes."

***

Jenny drove home from her office, not relishing what she had to do, but knowing it had to be done. Tonight, she would tell her husband she was leaving, although she wondered if he'd even notice. He hadn't really noticed her for years, and, having just turned 36, she decided enough was enough and she was wasting no more of her life in a dead marriage.

Mark had become depressed and miserable only a few years into their thirteen year marriage, then gradually became more and more withdrawn, refusing to even acknowledge there was a problem, let alone seek help. Jenny had long since given up trying, her life becoming an endless cycle of work and sleep.

Mark worked from home, which suited his 'condition' perfectly as he had no interest in friends or socializing either. He had taken up residence in another bedroom three years before, and they'd ceased to have sex two years prior to that. He barely spoke to Jenny, and she'd finally reached the end of her ability to cope. She had never been unfaithful to him, though she doubted that he'd even care if she had. She had come to think that he existed in a world entirely in his own mind. She decided to just tell him straight, bluntly and to the point. Incredibly, Mark seemed oblivious to there being any problems in their marriage.

"So, you're having an affair?" said Mark.

"No, I've never been unfaithful to you Mark, but we have no relationship, it's been dead for years!"

"A bit sudden then, if there's no one else, is it not?"

"A bit sudden?" she exclaimed, "Mark we haven't slept in the same room for three years, and we've barely had a conversation for far longer than that.!"

"You never complained before Jen, why now?"

"Because I'm suffocating here, living in this big house that we never filled with children as we'd planned!"

"You never said you were unhappy Jen."

"The fact that you haven't even noticed speaks volumes Mark!"

"Well, it sounds like your mind is made up anyway." said Mark.

"It is, there's nothing left between us Mark, you must know it."

"I never thought you were the type to give up at the first sign of trouble Jen." he said.

"Are you fucking serious Mark?" she shrieked, "Please don't tell me you meant that seriously, or I'd have to assume you've completely lost your grip on reality."

"You are the one leaving." he said.

"When did you last ask how I was Mark, or if I'd had a good day?"

"Marriages are like that Jen, happens to them all."

"That's rubbish Mark, we both know couples who've been together over 40 years who still look at each other with love in their eyes.!

"Anyway, I'm looking for a flat closer to work, so I've told you now." she said.

***

As she drove to work the following morning, Jenny was relieved that she'd told him. Nothing else worried her too much at this stage, as she had a good job and made a decent salary, so she could afford a nice flat of her own.

She arrived in the office and sat down at her desk, then realized how hungry she was. She saw her colleague Susan, and waved her across.

"You busy Suze?"

"Well, not overrun right now, why?"

"You fancy getting out for an hour?"

"Where to?"

"Just the cafe along the street, I'm starving Suze, and I could use the company."

Susan smiled curiously, and agreed to go with her. On the way, Jenny explained what had gone down at 'home' the previous evening, and that she'd gone without dinner just to avoid Mark's company.

"I couldn't even stay long enough for a coffee this morning!"

"I am sorry Jen, it's never fun when a marriage ends."

"The truth is that it's been over for years Suze, it's just taken me this long to wake up and do something."

Jenny had sacrificed her dinner last night, so this morning she was happy to sacrifice her diet, and enjoyed a full English. Susan just had a coffee and listened. They arrived back at the office an hour later, and Jenny thanked Susan for being there.

"You're welcome Jen, just keep me posted with how things go okay?"

"Thanks Suze, I will."

"Oh, if you really need an escape, you can use my spare room!" Susan added.

Jenny smiled, then entered her office, now she must work.

Meetings came and went, paperwork arrived and departed, the clock ticked ever so slowly to finish another day, another week in fact as it was Friday. Jenny suddenly realized that her job wasn't much more satisfying than her marriage. She really needed some excitement in her life. Just as she was gathering her stuff to go home, Iain, another colleague knocked and brought her some papers that needed signing.

"Sorry Jenny, but they need them first thing Monday morning."

"No worries Iain, it's just another five minutes of my exciting life I'll have to forego."

"You sound down Jenny, it's not like you."

"I'm fine Iain, just need something new in life."

"Well, you only need ask Jenny." he smiled cheekily.

"Iain, you'd run a mile if I tried to seduce you." she laughed.

"Well, I'll wait to prove you wrong Jenny."

Iain had been telling her how she needed a younger man for longer than she could remember, he of course being ten years her junior. She'd always considered his remarks to be office banter, but she now started to wonder. Maybe she should have had an affair long ago, after all, Mark wouldn't even have noticed, let alone cared.

***

Back at home, Mark had decided sarcasm was the best response to Jenny's plan to leave.

"So, you came home, didn't he want you to spend the night, or is his wife home?"

"Grow up Mark, if I'd wanted to cheat on you, I could have done it a thousand times already."

"You don't just walk out on thirteen years of marriage unless there's someone else pulling you away Jenny."

"Have you ever really thought about our relationship Mark, thought how you've treated me for years?"

"Actually no, it's how you haven't treated me because for years you haven't noticed I exist." she added.

She went upstairs to her room, notably not 'their' room like any other married couple. She looked at herself in the full-length mirror, wondering who would want her as a single, separated 36 year old. She still looked good she thought, and dressed well. She unzipped her skirt and let it drop to the floor, and unbuttoned her blouse. Now she stood in bra, panties, and tights, and she thought she still had a good figure.

She sat on her bed, and tried to remember what it was like to make love. She really couldn't remember the last time, and relieving herself with her fingers had become a habit, a function to 'scratch an itch', every bit as much as Mark had done, when he used to climb between her legs for five minutes, in order to relieve himself when they did still have sex.

She lay back and rubbed herself through her panties, wishing she had a normal marriage, and a husband who actually wanted her. She thought about Iain's banter and wondered what it would be like to kiss him, and feel his hands over her body. After a short while she felt herself getting close and slipping her bra up, she played with her nipples with her other hand. She breathed heavily, her orgasm building, then she clamped her knees together tightly, her hand feeling a trickle of her juices as she came.

She lay there for what felt like hours, then, being Friday, decided she'd ask if any of her friends from work fancied going out. She didn't want to go without dinner again, but she didn't want to spend time around Mark. She messaged a few of them, but they all had plans, then Carol text back saying she'd love a night out. They arranged to meet in town, and Jenny grabbed a quick shower, slipped into a nice summer dress, and ordered a taxi.

***

In town it was a nice evening, still warm summer weather, and not too busy yet. Carol waved at her as she approached.

"Well, you do look good Jen!"

"Thanks Carol, so do you."

"So, what's the plan then, a meal then a pub and a club?" Carol asked excitedly.

"Oh Carol, I think my clubbing days are very much behind me."

"Rubbish Jen, you're still young."

"I don't feel it, not anymore." she sighed.

"So, how about that Italian place we all went to last Christmas?" asked Carol.

"Oh yes, that's a nice place."

As they walked, Jenny explained a little about how things were at home, and that she was looking for a flat. Carol commiserated, and told her she could stay with her if she was desperate. Jenny remarked that she now had two offers of a spare room.

"Who said anything about a spare room?" asked Carol.

"Oh, so it's the sofa then?"

"Well, I only have one bedroom, but I have a big bed Jen!" she smiled with a curious look in her eye.

"You don't mean, you mean you're gay?"

"I thought you'd have known Jen, but don't worry, I was joking, I won't really try to seduce you I promise." she laughed.

"So, people know at work?"

"Some certainly do, not that I shout about it but I'm not ashamed of it."

"No, of course not, I just never knew Carol, but I'm probably so far out of the loop these days."

"So, are you nervous now Jen, wondering when I'll pounce?" she laughed.

"Don't be daft Carol, besides, I wouldn't know what to do with another woman."

"Oh, you might surprise yourself!"

They arrived at the little Italian place, and were shown to a nice table in the corner. It had a nice atmosphere and the food was always authentic, now in the hands of the third generation of an English/Italian family.

"I love their Lasagne, it's still bubbling in the middle when they put it in front of you, straight out of the oven." said Jenny.

"Sounds good to me, shall we?"

"I'm not sure, I had a full English this morning, so I don't want to overdo the calories."

"I don't think you need worry Jen; you have a great figure."

"Probably all the stress keeping me thin."

"Okay, what the hell, we'll go for the high calories and I'll start taking the stairs at work!"

They enjoyed their meal, and a bottle of Pinot Grigio with it. Jenny couldn't remember when she'd last felt so relaxed, or laughed so much, and she realized just how much her marriage had stifled her. Carol was good company, easy going and non-judgmental, though Jenny still couldn't believe she way gay, or maybe it was just that she'd never known.

"How old are you, Carol?"

"Oh boy, I don't like to remind myself, I'm nearly 30!"

"You're worried about 30, you're in your prime Carol, I wish I was 30 again."

"You're not old Jen, I didn't think you were much older than me."

"I just turned 36 Carol, next stop 40!"

"How did you get into accounts management Jen?"

"What do you mean?"

"Next stop is 37 silly!" and she laughed, "You add up like that at work and you'll be history!"

"Yes, you're right, 37 it is." and they laughed.

"Where to now then Jen, now that the calories are finding their way to your hips?"

"Oh God don't Carol; I'll be in front of the mirror later getting paranoid."

"I told you, you look great Jen, stop worrying about things that don't matter."

"Okay, well I'm still not a clubber, so how about a nice pub, somewhere without drunken idiots preferably?"

"I know just the place, not far from my flat."

"Well, lead on Carol." smiled Jenny.

Carol took her arm and they walked and talked, and laughed about some of the goings on at work, Jenny again realizing she was out of the loop, knowing little of the office gossip Carol spoke of.

"So, you fancy anyone a work Jen?"

"God no, I'm a married woman Carol, well, for now at least."

"You still have eyes Jen, we all look at the menu, even if we can't afford to eat."

"You have a wonderful way with words Carol, you really do." she said laughing.

"Well, I'm glad I've made you laugh; you seem much more relaxed than earlier."

"Oh, I feel it Carol, I really feel it, of course the Pinot probably helps."

"Excuse me, I don't like to blow my own trumpet Jen, but I'd say it was the great company over the wine!" Carol laughed.

"Yes, you really are great company Carol, I'm so glad I text you now."

They arrived at the pub, and found a quiet table, then Carol went to the bar, ordered a vodka and Coke for herself, and a gin and tonic for Jenny. She sat down, picking up the conversation.

"When did you last have a night out Jen?"

"I can't even remember Carol, life has just been work, sleep, work, sleep for so long."

Carol reached over and touched her hand; Jenny looked a little surprised.

"Don't panic, I'm not trying to seduce you." she said smiling.

"Actually, I wasn't thinking that Carol, I was thinking how long it must be since anyone even touched my hand affectionately."

Carol took her hand in hers and squeezed gently.

"This is a new chapter Jen, and you need never let yourself get into such a rut again."

Jenny smiled, almost in tears, having felt more affection from her colleague in the past few hours than Mark had shown her in the past five years. Carol asked her if she wanted another drink, and Jenny said she'd rather take a walk if Carol wanted to. Carol liked the idea, especially as there weren't many summer evenings like this with the British climate.

They walked along the street and Jenny realized the canal was nearby.

"I'd love to live on a canal boat Carol."

"It would certainly be compact Jen."

"Imagine just waking up and deciding you'd move that day, and by evening you're living at a new address miles away."

"Handy if you didn't like your neighbors." joked Carol.

"I suppose I'll have to head back soon." Jenny sighed.

"You don't have to, you've no one to rush home for have you."

"Thanks for reminding me." said Jenny.

"Why not stay at my flat for the night, I promise not to seduce you!"

"I don't want to put you out Carol."

"If it was an imposition, I wouldn't have asked you Jen."

"I feel like I'm doing something wrong Carol, can't explain why."

"You've just let yourself get worn out, downtrodden, it's natural you're feeling nervous about living your life again."

"Yes, you're wise with your words too Carol." said Jenny, her eyes once more full of tears.

Carol pulled her close and held her;

"Don't worry girl, you'll get there, I promise, and I'm here for you if you need me."

"Thank you, you are kind Carol."

"Well, we're walking the wrong way for my flat, we passed my street about half an hour ago!"

Jenny smiled and they turned back and walked, once again arm in arm. She enjoyed feeling so relaxed, like nothing mattered except for that moment. How great life would be if it was always this way.

***

Carol turned her key, and hit the light switch, and they went inside. Her flat was really nice, Jenny thought she had good taste in décor.

"Make yourself at home girl, if you wait to be offered something you'll end up going hungry, or thirsty in here!"

"Thanks Carol, the place is lovely."

"Thanks, it took a couple of years doing it up in my spare time, but I'm happy here."

"I see what I've been missing, my big house with the conservatory isn't as inviting and homely as this."

"You did just say you'd like to live on a boat Jen, you must be longing for less space." joked Carol.

"Right, what shall we do Jen?"

"I don't know, what would you like to do?"

"Oh, that would be telling, how about a drink to start?"

"Sure, I wouldn't mind another G&T if you have it."

Carol pointed,

"Kitchen, cupboards, glasses, and the booze is all over there in that cabinet, oh, I'll have another vodka Jen."

Carol was getting out of her summer dress, and as Jenny brought the glasses through, she saw Carol down the hall, facing away from her in just her panties. She poured the drinks, and Carol came back through, now wearing a baggy t-shirt and a pair of shorts.

"I like to be comfortable in here Jen, baggy and loose, always the first thing I do when I get home."

"You look good Carol, very chilled."

"I can give you something to wear, come through and choose something!"

She grabbed Jenny's arm and hauled her through to her room, and looked out a choice of baggy t-shirts and shorts.

"How about bright pink?" asked Carol.

"A bit bright for this hour!" said Jenny.

"Yes, okay we can go vanilla then." and she held up a plain white t-shirt.

Jenny looked nervous, and Carol noticed.

"I'll leave you to change, you can find your way back, right?"

"No, please don't go Carol, I'm not nervous of you, I'm still getting used to feeling free to do my own thing."

With that she pulled her summer dress over her head, unclipped her bra, and slipped the t-shirt on. Carol held out a pair of shorts and she stepped into them too.

"Right, let's party!" said Carol

"After you." said Jenny, bowing and lowering her arm in the direction of the lounge.

They sat together on the sofa, drinks in hand, and continued their conversation. Jenny was so happy in Carol's company, and wondered why she'd allowed her life to get so dull and empty. Carol was one of those people who just put others at ease, and who could see a funny side to almost any situation.

"I can't remember feeling this happy Carol."

"Like I said, it's a new chapter Jen, only good things going forward, and only things that you choose."

Jenny smiled, and now touched Carol's hand, longing to feel the affection she'd felt in the pub.

"Will you hold me, Carol?"

Carol put her arm around her and held her, gently rubbing her behind her shoulder.

"Thank you, you make me feel less guilty Carol."

"You've nothing to feel guilty about."

"Abandoning my husband for one."

"From what you've told me, he abandoned you a long time ago Jen."

Jenny knew she was right, but she just needed her confidence boosted.

"Aren't you involved with anyone Carol?"

"Not right now, well right now I'm involved with you, but not in the sense you mean."

"What's it like, being with another girl?"

"Oh Jen, I don't know how to answer that, I mean, because it's just natural for me."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"No, it's fine, you can ask me anything, I'm an open book really."

"Is it a good read?" asked Jenny smiling.

"I think I'm an acquired taste!"

"Well, I like what I'm reading so far Carol."

Carol smiled and they held each other. Of course, Carol was hugely attracted to Jenny, in fact she was very moist down below, but she wasn't going to try and begin anything with her while she was vulnerable, she knew how that always ended. Right now, she was happy to be with her, holding her and knowing she was helping her adjust to her newly reclaimed freedom.

Jenny's mind was racing. She too was aroused, and felt so comfortable in Carol's arms. She'd never done anything with another woman, but her mind was working overtime wondering what it must be like. Carol was very pretty, and she thought most men must be heartbroken that she prefers women.

"You want to sleep Jen?" asked Carol.

"I guess we ought to." she replied.

"Well, you can have the sofa, it's quite okay, or you can join me, there's plenty of room if you feel safe enough."

"I feel nothing but safe with you Carol, please don't think I'd ever worry."

"Thank you, Jen, that means a lot to me."

She kissed Jenny on the cheek as she thanked her, and she responded by kissing her on the lips. Carol sat up, and Jenny looked hurt.

"Don't look like that Jenny, I don't want you doing something you'll regret that's all."

"So, you're not attracted to me?"

"Jenny, I'm very attracted you, and I love feeling so close to you, but this is all new to you, you're vulnerable right now, and I don't want to hurt you or confuse you more."