Jen's Christmas Nightmare

"It just felt so right, Sati, I was on an emotional high, and his family arranged--"

"Look here now, I know before you say it that you could point out that Sanjay and I went through our arranged wedding ceremony the day after we met, but this was after months and months of consultation and preparation by both our families, with visas applied for, places at university arranged and even our house purchase was completed and furnished, long before we actually went through the marriage ceremony. But I remember seeing you three days before Christmas absolutely quaking in your boots about lying to your mum about a made-up boyfriend, I know you hated lying, but you felt trapped in a corner. We even spoke about it on the phone only a few minutes before you arrived at your Mum's and you were still seriously unattached. Then, the very next time I see you, and that was straight after Christmas, you show up with a massive rock on your finger the size of Gibraltar and a smile on your face so wide that even Leonardo would find it hard to fit on only one side of the canvas!"

"Sati, I promise to sit down tell you everything in fine detail about my engagement and marriage during this Christmas celebration. I can only assure you that Junior asked me to marry him, I said yes, we went to a party with all my family there and his eldest relative told me that it was an old family tradition to marry on Boxing Day evening. It was completely my choice and mine alone, and yes, Junior would go along with anything I wanted, but I said yes--"

"And then you went to Gretna Green?"

"I was in a bit of a daze to be honest about all the details, but that is what the Marriage Certificate says, witnessed by both my parents and both his, so that very basically is what happened."

"Confused? I suppose in the snow everywhere looks alike, eh?"

"Yes, pretty much. Look, please come, Sati, it would be great to have my best friend with me, families can just sometimes get too much. Junior could pick you up."

"What? In the executive jet?"

"Well, being London, we'll take the easiest option ... his dad's also got a helicopter." I think I physically winced at telling her that.

"Talk about falling on your feet, Jen. I'll let you know."

***

Well, readers, I hope my first journal entry since the Intro wasn't too rough. Chief Elf Librarian Wylenmast wants me start each journal page on a fresh left hand page and not to read or attempt to edit previous entries. I'm afraid I'll forget where I am and repeat stuff.

Speaking to Sati always relaxes me. We first met just weeks after I moved to London. I was at college in Halls of Residence that first year and although my parents paid the rent and gave me a small monthly allowance, they were clueless about prices in the capital. I needed a part-time job to live on and build for next year when I'd have to share a flat with fellow students. Finding a job to fit my hours wasn't easy, but a girl in my study group suggested telesales, and the hours were flexible. I was free of lectures Wednesday afternoons, so I did Wednesday afternoon and evening and two hours Thursday evening to get 10 hours in at minimum wage plus bonuses. Sati did hers from noon to 2pm five days a week, I started at 1pm so we overlapped by an hour and she was instructed to show me the ropes. And we worked together an hour a day for three years. When I graduated with a "Desmond" and my parents stopped helping with the rent, I moved in with boyfriend Scott and we bought a tiny "50/50 affordable" starter home in the burbs on a "50/50 affordable", but the first couple of jobs I got sucked money wise and I ended up back in telesales doing evenings to supplement my earnings to meet the mortgage, and ended up doing it full-time. Working with Sati just made work more fun.

CHAPTER 2 FAMILY

One advantage of being back living in my home town, after a whole decade away from home living in the capital, is that my work, my home and my family's various homes are close together in the same little town. I work in the family business with my Dad, Mark Webster, the owner of the haulage firm that bears his name, although my mother Mrs Lisa Brandlow also owns a quarter share in the business. Dad is trying to buy that quarter share back before he retires so he can split it between my two siblings and me, with me getting the majority share of that portion because he is training me up to take over the business along with Junior, who is our leading hand and ace driver. The admin staff in the office have been calling Junior "Ace" for the last eighteen months, long before I even met him.

Why, you ask, is Santa's son working as a truck driver for 11 months of the year? Well, it is a long story, but this is another family tradition. Because Santas live extremely long and fully productive lives, and because being in a partnership with a Santa, us ordinary humans absorb some of the magic from our partners.

So, not only are Junior's kisses absolutely scrummy, every single kiss extends my life and slows down the rate at which I age. I must say, a comforting cuddle and lovely snog with hubby is better for me than any body lotion ever invented, and I am very, very happy with that.

This life-giving boost to my metabolism does mean that if I take over my father's business in around five years' time when I am in my mid-30s, and we have our children in the first decade of that period, then go on to run the company for a total of 30 years until I'm in my mid-60s, both Junior and I will appear to age a little in that time, but we'll probably still look like we're in our thirties. Meanwhile, our eldest child will age normally at first, at least up to puberty, and it might make it look like I had him/her when I was still in nursery school!

Previous Santas have therefore changed identities regularly and periodically moved to other locations, even other countries. Maybe they moved on every decade or so for perhaps a hundred years or so, before they permanently moved back to the North Pole and assumed the job of running the family business, which is being Father and Mother Christmas.

In the meantime, the ordinary human partner marrying into the family can adjust to this change in our bodies while still living in familiar surroundings. The Santas can learn how to be human and not regard themselves as near-immortal saints, and more importantly, our children, who develop their bodies normally until they are about 15 or 16, they go through those life experiences that we mortals would regard normal until they have to fulfil their obligations, their destiny in either being The Santa Claus, or his younger silblings become Santa's hardworking relatives who help out Santa to make the magic of Christmas happen in that narrow window of opportunity every year.

My family live nearby. I see my father Mark every day. My mother I usually go out shopping with on a Saturday, where we can talk over our problems and plans, careful not to be overheard, although that can never happen because somehow the Magic of Christmas knows if we are being spied on or recorded and, if we do slip up, cameras and recording devices miraculously fail to work or go audio and image blind.

***

My mother Lisa is 59 and she remarried soon after divorcing my Dad, to a self-employed electrician, Jack Brandlow, who is six years younger than Mum. He was a widower who brought up his lovely daughter Stephanie, now 19, all on his own. Due to COVID-19 he had to reduce the number of electrical contract jobs he could take on, but it left him the opportunity to finish the large extension to the house they bought, which is looking good now that it is all done. Mum's a good cook, so we spend an evening with them on average about every other week. Stephanie is a student still living at home and has a very new boyfriend who we haven't met yet.

"So why are you worried about Steph's fella, Mum," I asked after she had expressed her concerns.

"Well, she just doesn't seem as sparky as she usually is. You didn't see her two weeks ago but she has definitely changed in the last month."

"What time is she due home from college tomorrow?"

"They are doing all their classes online, Jen. Sometimes she goes to the library, but there she has to wear her mask all day, so she only goes to study group sessions, otherwise she's here working alone on her laptop. I'm usually in the office two or three days a week and I'll be working tomorrow."

"I'll pop round tomorrow, then, have a word with her."

"I'll give you a spare key. You should really have one just in case there's ever a problem. I'm only just getting used to you living close to home again."

My father Andy didn't remarry, but he is in a live-in relationship with a much younger woman, Layla Robinson who is in her late twenties. Together they have an adorable 15-month-old baby, Monika Webster. Although Layla's other two children have different surnames, JayLo Reid who is 7 and Tyrell Robinson 4, she was only married to Mr Robinson for a few months before he split when she fell pregnant. To be honest, I'm not sure if Layla is still married to Robinson or not. Anyway, Dad insisted that Monika was his child and that's the moniker on the birth certificate.

What does it feel like having a beautiful baby half-sister nearly 30 years younger than me? Honestly, she's a delightful baby, so I never really give it a negative thought.

Layla brings her two youngest into the office once or twice a week for an our or two and her and my dad seem to get on well together, despite the age difference, which pleases me. Layla is quite pretty, very baby-focused, so she is somewhat limited in conversation although I've noticed that she has a hard look in her eye, but is always open and chatty with me and Junior if we're in the office. No, I haven't picked up any of Junior's "Santa" naughty-or-nice powers, but my gut feeling is that she is a nice person, who has had enough bad relationships to be wary of what we might think of her. Anyway, Dad seems relaxed and happy with his new large family, so all is well in my world.

***

I'm warming to this journal writing. I kept a diary for a while in my early teens, I think it was a Christmas present, not from Junior I might add, but never really had anything to write in it. But now, I find I'm being more observant, mentally noting what I want to put in when I sit down to write. Hopefully Wylenmast will find my thoughts more focused. It's a hope anyway.

***

Today I popped around to Mum's house about mid-morning, it's handy being daughter of the firm's owner and be able to get out of the office to do things like that occasionally.

I decided to knock rather than use the key Mum gave me. Why? Well, I've had a boyfriend before and now happily married to a gorgeous fella, so I wouldn't like it if someone just walked in on us when we weren't specifically expecting them. Anyway, I got no answer even though I rang twice and waited a few minutes in between, so I used the key and went in, calling out to Stephanie that it was only me.

I found her upstairs in her bedroom room in front of the computer at her desk, wearing huge cans over her ears. Clearly there was a lecture on with a teacher talking on the silent screen and pointing out parts of an Old Master painting, reminding me she was doing a Humanities degree. I tapped her lightly on the shoulder and made her jump.

I mimed drinking a cup and she smiled and mouthed 'tea, two sugars' and I left her to it.

By the time the kettle boiled and I brewed the tea in a pot I'd found in the third cupboard I looked in, Stephanie came down the stairs.

"Lecture finished already?" I asked.

"No, I left it on record and will catch up with it later. I think Mr Jones records them first, because he goes right through the lecture and never asks or allows questions, even at the very end. It also has that polished feel, so I think he records and edits it beforehand."

"I suppose I would do the same in his position, I hate seeing myself on screen, I tried to record a Zoom training video back in the summer lockdown and I used to think I was so decisive in meetings, but when I played it back, my monologue was all 'ums, errs, and ahs', I was mortified!"

Stephanie chuckled. "So, why are you calling round today? Mum and Dad are both working."

I love it that she calls my Mum and her Step-Mum 'Mum', it makes me want to cuddle her as a real sister.

"I came round because I hadn't seen you for a whole month and I have a verbal invitation for you to come join all my family to the NP for an early Christmas celebration weekend."

"Early Christmas?"

"Yes. About a month before Christmas, from Friday 27th November to Sunday I want to celebrate Christmas with my full family. It's because Junior has to work with his father for the whole of December in order to make up for last year and we cannot get away, even for half a day."

"Ah," she grinned, "for when June rebelled against his father by working with your Dad and for not marrying the girl that Mr and Mrs Grumpy had picked for him?"

The Magic of Christmas lets me and those who know our secrets to use all sorts of innocent words like 'North Pole' or 'NP' and doesn't react to nicknames we give the Claus's, yet if we had tried to say, 'visit Santa at the North Pole', it just wouldn't come out of our mouths, which is why I still hadn't told Sati the truth about the circumstances of my marriage and exactly where we promised our vows, I wasn't able to. With someone in the know, like Steph, who is a particularly bright girl by the way, we can still talk about my Santa family if we chose our words very carefully.

Oh, 'June' by the by is Steph's unique way of referring to my hubby Junior; I quite like it and it's nice that they have a brother/sister relationship. Stephanie is a remarkable young woman and I like her a lot. I think I'll join her in her own game.

"Yes, Sis, Junior made a stand about who he wanted for his wife and fortunately he chose me, but now he has to pay for it by putting more effort into this Christmas. And he is really willing to do so, he loves Christmas. His 'job' is important to him and anything important to him is also important to me."

"Of course it is, Sis!" Stephanie giggled, "I never really thought about it, being an only child, but it's really great having sisters."

I held out my arms and she moved in for a big hug and a mutual back rub.

"So," I said, "are you going to be coming for the weekend, it's just under three weeks away?"

"Well, it is in term time...."

"It's the weekend, Sis, and we have excellent WiFi at Junior's place if you have work to do and need to access it. We have the use of a set of cottages, separate from the main complex, so we won't be bothered much by the Grumpies. Say you'll come, please, I want all my sisters there ... and the invitation is open for a significant other too, if you have one you'd like to bring along."

"Mmm. What happens to any 'significant other' if I bring one, do they have their memory erased or fry their brains or something?"

"No, of course not, what do you think we are, monsters? They will be treated just like us, and simply not able to tell anyone, yet still able to discuss it in general terms between ourselves if we are very careful about it. So, what about coming? It means celebrating Christmas twice."

"That's hard to resist. I'd have to ask Shane if he wants to go. He usually plays football on Saturday afternoons."

"There won't be any football, Sis, not with the new lockdown coming in, no contact sport until early December, and even that looks optimistic, I think we may be in this lockdown until the New Year, so he can't use football in November as an excuse."

"I can just see June delivering presents at dead of night wearing a face mask if this goes on until Christmas." Stephanie giggled at the thought.

"You can laugh, he has to wear them at work whenever he comes into the office, because the office girls are in the office on a rota to ensure the phones and radios are always manned and they are outside our family bubble, mine and Dad's, so Junior wears one every time. He actually looks like a bandit!"

"A cute bandit, you lucky sister you. OK, Sis, assume that I'll come anyway, either with Shane or without him. Anyone not wanting to go somewhere that magical wants their head examining, but I'll have a word with Shane and persuade him with what little I can actually disclose."

"Say, how about you, me, my Junior and your fella Shane get together on a double date this Friday, our treat, so he can get to know us and then he might feel more comfortable coming away with us?"

"Fridays he usually goes out with his mates—"

"Not this Friday, the lockdown comes in on Wednesday night, all the pubs'll be closed, remember? So it looks like the date will be at our place for a cooked meal by Junior or me, or even a takeaway, followed by a movie. You know we have a small movie theatre at home, don't you?"

"Yes, of course, I've seen your hilltop mansion overlooking the forestry plantation. The delivery business must really pay. Maybe studying Humanities and Art is the wrong move for me?"

"You like art and music and you would make a good teacher. Keep studying the things you like and get your degree, they count just as much if it's business or arts, the important thing is that you achieve the BA and show that you have the skills and motivation to study and learn."

"All right, you're on for food and a movie. So," she added coyly, "if all the family are going to your ... holiday cottages, we'll be flying in a couple of executive jets from the airfield next to your work?"

"Naturally."

"All right, I'm sure I can persuade Shane to go."

"Good girl, Sis, I must get back to work. Enjoy your tea and I'll pick you up at 6 on Friday."

I was going to question her about Shane, because Mum had concerns that Stephanie hadn't told Mum anything about him. With my experience with a controlling boyfriend like Scott, I too had concerns, but when Steph said she'd come to our early Christmas with our without him, that showed me that she was not obviously being controlled by him. Getting a chance to meet him for a long evening with just four of us gives both me and Junior a chance to find out more about him.

***

I've always been closer to my younger sister Bernie than my older brother Miles. She's only 22 months younger than me while Miles had already started school when I was born so I had a lot less contact with him during my early childhood. Besides, sisters are always closer than a brother and one of two sisters.

Miles was already in secondary school when I started at the infants, and he had started Sixth Form by the time I moved up to the Comp. Miles has always been a domineering character and married his childhood sweetheart Sharon Brown when they were 18 and had their two girls, teenagers Kendra and Mica, quite early in their marriage.

He works in IT sales with Sharon, partners in a business with two other partners. He started off selling electrical goods, moved over to the computer and phone section, then with two colleagues set out on their own, working from home 10 years ago. They have had a shop on an industrial estate for about seven years and been really busy during lockdown installing business system computers and video equipment in houses with people homeworking. Sharon joined him at the shop doing office admin and selling spares etc at the counter, but both are now working at home, the future of the shop uncertain.

I popped into Miles' house first out of my full siblings, knowing they'd both be home.

"Hi Shazz," I said, as cheerfully as possible, "is Miles home?"

"He is, come on in," Sharon smiled back, "go through to the kitchen and I'll give him a shout."

Sharon always used to look down her nose at me, for all the years she'd known me. She notched this degree of indifference to another level when she seemed to sense that my relationship with my long-term boyfriend Scott was toxic. I think she knew long before I did that our relationship was heading for disaster. She was quite cold to both me and Scott and she had already been fairly aloof for the first five years since she married Miles. This had turned distinctly frigid after I started bringing Scott home to Mum and Dad's house for the main holidays.