Jessica's Change Management Ch. 20

Fold the paper and push it between my big, ole funbags, of course. My fingers were shaking hard, so much so that I almost dropped the card. My mind was racing fast, so much so that I started sweating. Time was ticking, and I couldn't come up with a more unobtrusive way. Bimbo-me would have simply performed the drop and giggled it away as an oopsie. In my woken state, however, I couldn't bring myself to act that ditzy.

When I finally started folding the moderation card with shaking hands, Blondie had gotten up on stage to take my place. The moment had passed. I had missed my chance to perform my bimbo move. Damnit! Where did it leave me? Without a score for sure! I hadn't performed the move, so it didn't count. That much was clear.

Could you believe it? I had just outsmarted myself. I had been too woken for my own good. First, I had been clever enough to winkle a buzzword out of the discussion. What a smartass! Then I had failed to bring the score home. What a dumb bitch! Getting off my seat, I felt more frustrated than ever. I was more than dissatisfied with my own performance.

Exchanging places with Blondie, I didn't even reach the buffet before Sharkboy waved me over. Oh my god! Obviously, I was a way better hostess than bingo player. Apparently, I was a way better waitress than presenter. Ugh!

"Tell me, like totally, 'bout that three option thingy again, Assy!" He used the short silence when Shelly was drawing a question from the bowl.

Quelle surprise, he continued mocking my bimbo babble. Sure thing, he made me ask my stewardess phrase and used my new nickname. For better or worse, it drew most of the dudes' attention to me, which made Bimbo-me cheer and Consultant-me curse once more.

"Um... coffee, tea, or you know what?" I grimaced before trying to wriggle out of my predicament 'cause I so didn't want to say that sexist phrase anymore.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know what." He didn't let me off the hook that easily. "Let me help you out there anyway, Assy."

Holding a moderation card and pen, the young dude quickly handed it over to me and called on me to write the phrase down. This was anything but what I had intended. I so didn't like where this was going, but I couldn't back out now. I needed to get this over with quick before he remembered me. Oh shoot! I had tried to be extra clever and steer clear of the problem. In the end, though, my smart ass had only dug a hole for me. So much for the highly-educated Consultant-me. Sometimes, it was simply better to be a vapid bimbo.

With my hand trembling, I wrote down the note. When it was done, Sharkboy mockingly chided me and made me cross out the word 'me'. I had to exchange the word, so the card read: Coffee, Tea, or Assy! Holding the card up, he told me to turn a complete circle, so every sales rep could see it. And with that, every guy was in on the joke, even the ones Shelly had served before. And with that, every dude was laughing right into my face, amused by my cluelessness. And with that, the bimbo haze descended on my mind. The public disgrace was another trigger!

Jeez! I should have been super glad when I could finally get away from the sneaky dude and fetch his coffee. The moment, I turned around, however, I felt a slap to my ass. Sharkboy had dropped every pretense and made a total macho move, spanking my butt.

The unexpected slap made me lose my balance. Stumbling forwards, I barely managed to turn around before landing on a lap. On impulse, I felt like acting the way I had done on the train ride. On impulse, I felt like giving the dude a lap dance and grinded my booty on his crotch. With a coupla seconds of delay, I realized whose lap it was.

Mr. Reptile's!

Oh damn! I had tried my bestest to avoid my fellow alum and stayed as far away from him as possible so far. No way, I could act all bimboy in front of him, not when I was remembering the way we had interacted in college 'cause he had always made fun of me as a prude back then.

Like a scalded cat, I hopped off his lap. In a heartbeat, my head was clear again and my newly regained rationality made the shame of giving my fellow alum a lap dance burn that much hotter. It was so contradictory! The closer I got to my fellow college grad, the less I could bring myself to behave like a ditzy bimbo. The less I acted all bimboy, the higher the possibility of him recognizing me. What a vicious cycle! What a conflict!

Whatever! It was my turn, so I had to make my way to the makeshift stage. On my way, I pulled the mirror from my purse all rationally to sneak a peek at the bingo card. It was time to plan another score after all. Good thing, all sales dudes saw me taking a break to check my appearance while everybody was waiting for me. After all, appearances. Duh! After all, that bimbo thingie had its benefits. Duh!

"Ready for the new question?" I asked the experts after I had drawn a new card from the bowl and sat down on my moderation chair. "We all know it's important to handle sticky situations. So can you tell us 'bout your most successful sales tactics, like when you're short on time?"

I barely noticed reading the question out aloud, 'cause I was way more focused on the responses I tried to trigger. As a result, the insinuation totally escaped me too. Another sexual innuendo! Another blunder! Ugh!

"Most of all, you need to use the power of urgency and deadlines to get customers to take quick action." Anderson replied.

Strike!

I had taken a gamble and it was paying off. The company man had unknowingly done me a favor. What it was? Deadlines! It was right in the middle of the fourth row of the bingo grid. What I had to do? Cross-uncross my legs! Piece of cake... not! Why? Cause all the sales dude were staring at the stage. No way, I could pull it off undetected. As you might remember, I had already failed a bimbo move on stage before.

No matter what, I had to do it if I wanted to retain a chance of winning and quick. It was obvious that Shelly knew all the buzzwords on the bingo card and had all opportunities to land another score. I was really sweating bullets here 'cause in my woken state, it made me uncomfortable to be in the spotlight like that. Once again, where was my inner bimbo when I needed it, right? Oh jeez! I would have never believed to think like that, even less long for it.

Anderson had already answered the question, so my turn was coming to an end. Fortunately, Ortega was adding some of his wisdom. This was my last chance. I so wanted to close my eyes and blank the sales reps out. My leg felt like it was weighing a ton when I lifted it. I so wanted to be quick about it but was too afraid to get entangled in something and make it worse. That was why I slowly crossed my legs putting my left thigh over my right thigh. Surprisingly, Wilson had something to add, too. The moment he began talking, I uncrossed my legs. I had just placed my left foot on the ground when I got interrupted, leaving my legs spread wide.

"What was it again? Most frequent or most successful sales tactic?" The company man asked me out of a sudden.

Oh no! In my role as moderator, I had to react. At that, I totally forgot about my sitting position. Obviously, my multitasking skills were lost on me forever, no matter if it was Bimbo-me or Consultant-me at the steering wheel. Damnit! Re-reading the question, I remained in a manspread that would have made Mr. Weasel proud.

All eyes were on me, or more like, all eyes were on my crotch. No wonder, what with my short skirt and missing panties. Basically, I was delivering a look at my pussy on a silver platter. It must have been such a sexy sight, or more like, such a slutty sight. Actually, it felt like an inappropriate sight, or more like, a scandalous sight.

Without thinking about it, I kept my legs uncrossed until Wilson was finished talking about those boring sales tactics. Unconsciously, I must have wanted to give the sales reps the bestest reward ever. Damned bimbo habit! Nonetheless, I hastily crossed my right thigh over my left when Ortega took over the discussion. You could almost hear the sales dudes sighing in disappointment 'cause awesome show. You could almost hear me wincing 'cause disgrace. Luckily, I caught myself before that happened. Phew! Luckily, I had managed to score. Yay!

Miss Trophy 4 -- Miss Bimbo 2

The next bunch of questions went by without a hitch. I found it kinda strange that the three experts weren't using that many buzzwords. Especially Wilson looked the part of a dude bandying those phrases about endlessly. That had two effects, though. The whole fish bowl conversation was becoming more business like 'cause us ass-istants were getting pushed into the background. More importantly, I was getting antsy, 'cause I couldn't catch up on Blondie. Anyway, it was my turn to ask the final question.

"The bottom line is quite simple if I may summarize." I heard daddy closing the discussion. "You always have to keep your sales pitch customer centric."

At first, nobody really reacted. As I said, it had gotten boring. But then I saw Shelly standing at the snack table and frowning. That was when it hit me! I remembered 'customer centric' from the bingo card. No way in hell, I would lose out a second time! No way in hell, I would fail again! When I saw the secretary reaching up to do what blonde bitches do best, I reacted as quick as a cat.

Lifting my arm, I hectically started twisting and twirling my high pony. I began twirling a golden strand around my index finger slowly making my way down. Meanwhile, the three experts were getting up for the second smoke break and the attention turned away from the stage. I had only just been waiting for that to happen 'cause sneaky when woken.

With everybody occupied, it was the perfect moment. By now, I had reached the level of my nipples. Lightning quick, I slid my right hand inwards from my long chestnut-golden hair to my big, round boobies. I was doing the bimbo move by lightly stroking my nipple through my sky-blue uniform top. This time, it was me getting away with a cheap trick and nobody noticing it.

"Watch out, Jessy!" I suddenly heard Shelly screaming. "Whatta malfunction!"

Her shouting was loud enough for everybody to listen up. On top of that, she had deliberately mumbled her words, so it sounded more like 'wardrobe malfunction'. That was what caught the dudes' attention and made them look at the stage.

Caught by surprise, I froze like a deer in the headlights, or more like a slut in the spotlight. With everybody watching, I sat there like a girl caught with a hand in the cookie jar, or more like a skank caught with a hand on her tit. You won't believe the way my face flushed, like lit... gotcha girl... like to the roots of my hair. You won't believe how the sales reps' laughter affected me.

Trigger warning!

The laughter stoked my bimbo flame and pushed Bimbo-me back to the forefront, so much so that I brushed my nipple through my uniform way more enthusiastically. Gosh! I started bathing in the spotlight! Too much so, 'cause Ortega hurriedly called an end to the smoke break and instructed the participants to form three circles with the chairs. I wasn't too disappointed, though, 'cause I had made the next score.

Miss Trophy 4 -- Miss Bimbo 3

When the circles had been formed, the group exercise was about to begin. Ortega had divided the sales reps in three groups to brainstorm new sales strategies for the company. Our boss and the two company men took over the moderating roles with me ass-isting Wilson and Shelly ass-isting Anderson. Why? Cause the job was more complicated than reading questions. To nobody's surprise, they didn't trust me or Shelly with hard stuff like allocating speaking turns and summarizing ideas.

As there wasn't much to ass-ist, I had a chance to look up the intermediate results. I had checked three boxes in the same column, 'cause I had now added crossing-uncrossing my legs and touching my titties. Unfortunately, I had missed at least one box, 'cause I had been too smart for my own good. Duh!

By ill luck, Shelly hadn't been lazy either. As she had bent over one more time, she had checked three boxes in the same row. She was still in the lead and could finish the game with another score. That made my failure hurt even more. Umph!

Even though our roles had been reduced drastically, Anderson and Wilson still found a job for us ass-istants, never mind that it could barely be called a job. We had to stand next to our group's bulletin board. Whenever a dude wrote a note on a moderation card, he handed it over for us to pin it to the board.

The task was way more menial than the previous one, so much so that I instantly felt unchallenged. At the same time, my bimbo buzz had been fueled, what with all the spotlight and bimbo moves. That was why I saw an opportunity to get more of the sales dudes' attention by distracting them. Of course, it all happened subconsciously but the logic was as simple as it was compelling.

How I actually achieved it? With me letting my nail chains dangle and flash blatantly. With me using the tip of my golden, Leopard-print nails to grab the cards. With me acting all clumsy. Ya-nay! Every time the chains made me drop a card, I felt the bimbo buzz growing stronger. Every time the sales reps laughed at me, I felt my rationality fading. Trigger warning!

Actually, though, this wasn't good 'cause it distracted me from the next bingo score. On the other hand, it was good 'cause it helped me get in the mood to quickly perform the next bimbo move. Gosh! The dichotomy was driving me nuts! The contradiction was driving me frantic!

Whenever the dudes were debating, I was peeking over to Shelly's group, 'cause I was nervous about the next buzzword. What if it happened in her group? What if it scored her the win? Just then I noticed Mr. Squid getting up to write some stuff on a flip chart and Shelly sitting down on the free chair. Getting jumpy, I saw her uncrossing her legs. Getting panicky, I saw her crossing them. Oh no! Oh no, no, no! Another bimbo move! Another score!

Miss Trophy 5 -- Miss Bimbo 3

Damnit! Blondie was pulling away. I felt so helpless and powerless! I felt like crying and pouting! Silver lining? It hadn't been the right bimbo move so Shelly hadn't finished the row. Still, the victory was basically at her fingertips. What should I do? What could I do? I had tried acting clever. I had tried the smartass approach. Yet, it had done me no good. Truth be told, it had been a total failure.

I was getting desperate here! At the same time, my group was slowing down with their brainstorming. Not good, not good at all. Why? Cause the chances of the sales dudes dropping another buzzword decreased. It was now or never. Going all in on Bimbo-me was my last chance to win this thingie, right? Taking off my thinking cap and putting on my bimbo smile was my only hope, right? Right?!?

"This is, like, a small company, you know. I mean, no disrespect 'n all." I piped up when the men fell silent once more.

Surprised by my sudden input, the sales reps looked at me, or more like, Wilson and Mr. Reptile leered at my cleavage whereas Sharkboy and Mr. Meticulous didn't pay me no mind. Oh yay! I had their attention. Oh nay! My sexy assets had their attention.

"You want sex..." I forced myself to make an obvious blooper.

"I mean, you wanna succeed in the short term, don't you?" I spoke up. "Maybe, it's, like, an easier strategy, you know, to go for, like, the easy target. Fer shure!"

Oh dang! I was really trying hard here. I was really forcing myself to babble more bimboy than ever. It so wasn't coming easy, though. It so wasn't appearing natural. In response, all dudes looked but didn't talk. Actually, Wilson and my fellow alum continued leering at my boobies whereas Sharboy and Mr. Meticulous were staring at my face, or more like, my trout pout.

"Oh, c'mon boys! It should be you knowing the legalese term thingies, like totes, not the ass-istant." I tried to provoke them, which was kinda hard in between all that bimbo talk.

Still, no response. Still, more desperation on my part. From the corner of my eye, I saw Mr. Squid continuing to write words onto the flip chart. Any second, Shelly could score and get the victory. Any second, it could all be over. I had to go all in, no matter the consequences. I had to go with a tried and tested strategy, no matter the degradation.

"Okay, fine! Let me, like totally, give you an example, boys." I tried another approach.

It was really a shot in the dark 'cause I had no clue how to pull it off or where to go with it or whatever. Basically, I was hashing and rehashing stuff.

"What's the difference between a great ass-istant 'n a personal ass-istant?" I quickly asked before I thought better of it. "A good ass-istant says 'Good morning Boss', a personal ass-istant says 'It's morning Boss'."

Now, that got all the dudes' attention! Oh yay! Now, that made me look dumber than ever! Oh nay! No matter what, I couldn't waste time on consequences right now.

"If you said that joke about me, you know, what kinda strategy thingie would it be?" I hastily followed up with the important question before it got drowned out by their laughter.

"Ahahaha! Ahahaha!" The men started laughing anyhow.

It made me feel better 'cause trigger. However, they weren't answering my question. All the effort and all the degradation were in vain. Even Mr. Meticulous allowed himself a chuckle. I guess my silliness was too epic, so much so that the most petty-minded pedant got all macho too.

"Ahahaha! Ahahaha!" The sales reps continued laughing.

"Not much of a strategy thingie, you know. Just stating sum fact stuff, for real." Sharkboy didn't let that golden opportunity pass and delighted in mimicking me.

Ouch! The manipulative dude was hitting on a sore point. I still had to admit that it sounded true even if it wasn't what I was looking for. The dudes' laughter might have been stoking my bimbo flame, but it also made Consultant-me feel more stupid and more humiliated than ever at the same time. Damned contradiction!

"It's definitely a low-hanging fruit." My fellow alum chimed in.

There it was!

The one phrase that seemed to suit Bimbo-me best. I mean, making fun of Bimbo-me was a low-hanging fruit. Making Bimbo-me act slutty was a low-hanging fruit. More importantly, though, it was the one buzzword I had remembered from my bingo grid. The one buzzword that was missing to complete the column.

Enthusiastically, I grabbed a cuppa coffee from Mr. Weasel as if I was dying of thirst from all the giggling. Totally the opposite! Throwing caution to the winds, I lifted the spoon. Screwing up my eyes from revolt, I put it to my mouth and licked off the drops of coffee. After sucking on its head, I pulled it from my lips and pushed my tongue out to carefully lick out the small shallow bowl.

After taking a couple of sips for good measure, I puckered my lips for the total trout pout and pushed the silver handle between my lips. This was my grand finale or grand disgrace, depending on which of my inner selves you asked. Anyhow, it looked like sliding a sausage between two buns to make a hot dog, or more like sliding a handle between two overinflated lips to make a bimbo hawt dawg. It had been utterly stupid but effective at the train stop, and it was now. It had been utterly humiliating but stimulating then, and it was now.

Pushing the handle back and forth, I forced myself to slide my lips all along its length before popping the head back into my bee-stung mouth to give it a final suck. Eventually, I pushed the silver spoon out with a loud pop, placed it on the bottom plate and handed the cuppa coffee back to Mr. Weasel.

Mission accomplished! And graduated with honors for sure! I mean, there was no way, Mr. Reptile would expect a college grad to act like that, right? Oh yay! More importantly, I had just won the game! Oh yay, yay! Most importantly, I had earned a point in the out-please-ment center. Oh yay, yay, yay!