Jesus Please Forgive Me

"Yeah," said a voice I didn't recognize. "I'm still shocked that you couldn't get that bitch from the gas station."

"That was a mistake on my part," said the Reverend. "It was actually a blessing that the harlot didn't go for it. The lord was looking out for me. When I thought about it, I realized that part of what makes it so easy for us to get away with this is the fact that everyone knows these women are happily married and good church going women. No one even thinks that they would do something like this. If you or I WERE seen spending time with a young single woman, it would start the tongues to wagging. We need to keep this amongst the church folk."

"Amen," said the other man.

"See what I mean," said Jerry. "They even have fucking rules about this."

I just shook my head but I was beginning to see something. I was beginning to see that maybe I wasn't alone in this. And I was also beginning to see the need for some sort of revenge. I needed more than just to get Kim out of my life. I needed to make all of them pay. And maybe I could get some help doing it.

"I have video," said Jerry. "I have all of the evidence you need to get a divorce if that's what you're after. You're lucky. They almost never do it outside of the church. Only the chauffer does that and the other two don't know that he knows. He usually only picks one woman at a time and he limits the times that he screws them. The preacher is screwing several women from the congregation regularly. He's a randy bastard. He sometimes does two of them in the same day. The deacon is getting more like two a week. And the chauffer is only fucking your wife now. From what I've heard, they get together once a week. Your wife isn't fucking the deacon. So it's really not that bad. She does the preacher on Fridays and the chauffer on Tuesday. The rest of the week she's an average housewife. She does sing in the choir and help out with the charity work, but that's it. And if it's any consolation, John, she really does love you. She just does what she does because he's convinced her that it's her duty. Some of these old biddies are fucking him three or four times a week and loving it."

I spent the next few days slowly getting my own congregation together. It took me about a week to gather a crew of men that I could count on. All of them had wives that were deeply involved in the church and a couple of them were involved in the church themselves.

It wasn't an easy thing to do. The majority of the men got angry when I first approached them, especially the ones who were church members themselves. There were also a couple of guys that had to be restrained once they'd seen the videos of their wives. They wanted to go right home and confront them. But once they listened to my plan, they were on board.

One man was sure that we needed to get the preacher's wife onboard with us. She had no idea what was going on. She believed that the sun shone out of her husband's holy ass. I didn't trust her though. She was one of the women around town who'd pretty much wrongfully painted Janie as the town whore.

One of the men I'd recruited, strangely enough was Janie's older brother Grant. Grant had also been one of the guys who'd had to be restrained. As our plan came together, we'd put old differences aside and often spoke to each other. Grant was now an older, far flabbier, balding version of himself. But he was a good guy and he loved his wife dearly. Of all of us, he was the one running around telling us exactly which punishments he was going to mete out to his wife.

"John, she's going to have to give me blowjobs on demand. And we're RV'ing to every NASCAR race within five hundred miles," he said. "And she'd better not say shit about me looking at women who wear bikini's to the races."

I envied him. But of the five of us, I was the only one who was going for a full divorce. The others had pretty much taken Jerry's word for it and the evidence that their wives had been manipulated. Two of those guys wanted separations during which time they'd be allowed to do whatever they wanted. Grant wanted his blowjobs and NASCAR penance. I wanted a divorce. I'm not sure whether I wanted the divorce because of what Kim was doing or if it was simply because I really believed that our marriage had run its course.

But in either case, I didn't envy any of those guys the rest of their lives. They'd pretty much have to either simply put everything that had happened behind them, or spend the rest of their lives watching their wives and waiting for them to either be fooled again or to simply decide to cheat again. I just wasn't cut out for that.

"John, you know Poke was probably right about you all of those years," he said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You do know that she always thought you were something special," he said. "I'm still pissed at her though."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because if she knew this shit was going on, why tell you before she told her own brother?" he asked.

There were still a few things I needed to do before we were ready to start. My guys helped with that. I needed access to the church for myself and Jerry so we could rig the AV system. I also needed to turn the church into a controlled funnel. That meant that I needed to make sure that only certain doors would be opened and those at the right times.

I also needed to supposedly mend my fences with the Reverend. It didn't help that Kim and I were no longer on speaking terms. She'd started out by asking me the night before to reconsider speaking to the Reverend about our problems and I had simply ignored her.

"John this seems to be getting worse," she said. "We haven't had sex in ten days. We used to do it, even if we were angry at each other. This isn't natural for us. I'm beginning to wonder if you're doing it with someone else. Are you?"

"Are YOU?" I spat venomously. She never answered me she just started crying.

"How could you even think that?" she cried. "Reverend Pile says that sometimes when men don't want their wives..."

"Fuck Reverend Pile," I said. "I already told you he's full of shit. He's a PILE of shit." And I left. I went our driving around in my car. When I came back after cooling off, Kim was already in bed. I didn't bother to check on whether or not she was asleep.

It took me a couple of days to work out the next part of what I wanted to do. I got the guys to help me find a time when the Reverend would be at the church alone. I caught him just as he was leaving and started to talk to him. It was all I could do to keep myself from burying my fist in his face but I held it together.

After a few moments of talking about utter bullshit, he looked at me.

"What did you really want to talk about?" he asked.

"Well, Reverend," I said. "I really am having a problem with my marriage. And more than that I'm having a problem with life in general; people are so full of shit. Where has the compassion gone? I can't believe that those bastards at work and some of the people you meet on the street will just smile at you to your face and then stab you in the back. It's hard as hell to tell who you can really trust."

He just stood there nodding his head as if he understood every bit of the bullshit I was feeding him. He really didn't understand that I was actually talking to him about himself.

"Put your faith in the lord," he said. "Man will only let you down time and time again. But if you raise your faith to the heavens, you will never be disappointed."

I knew then that I had the bastard hooked. He really believed that I was coming to him with my problems. He kept talking and it was all I could do to avoid laughing in his face. He went on and on. I don't even remember all of the bible verses he quoted or any of the things he said. It all just sounded like "yada-yada blah- blah yada- blah yada- yada blah- blah- blah Amen."

After I got into my car and drove off, I had to pull over to the next side street. There I erupted in hysterical laughter until I got it out of my system.

Over the next few days I made it a point to stop by and see him whenever I had the chance. Last Sunday, I even went to church. After the service was over the reverend and his wife were standing by the door speaking to everyone as they left.

The Reverend spoke to me personally. "You've been busy John, haven't you?" he asked.

I thought he'd figured out that we'd been fiddling around with the AV system, so I was nervous.

"I understand that I have you to thank for several of the men who came back to church today," he said. "You brought back several men who'd lost their way."

"Well," I said, smiling. "They're just men who feel the same way that I do. We just decided to come and listen to what you have to say, before it's too late." I could tell he was trying to figure out what I meant by that, but his wife interrupted us.

"Honey, getting a few men who've already been members of the church at one time or another to come back is a good thing," she said. "But if he really wanted to do something impressive, he should get someone who's never been to our church, like that awful Janie Foster to come here. Now that would be a miracle."

My head swiveled towards her like a missile targeting system that has just locked on. I looked at her and saw through her veneer. On the surface, she was a thin, pretty, southern preacher's wife. She had her hair done up beautifully. And her dress and shoes and all of that shit that women are into, were perfect. They'd need to invent a new kind of sugar to make someone as sweet as that bitch pretended to be. But inside, that woman was as rotten as she could be. I could see that she was probably the source of all of the rumors about Janie and just wanted to get her here in the church so she could vilify her and humiliate her even further. I decided to give her what she wanted.

So after church, I went home and went out for my run later than usual. It was a bad thing to do because it meant that I'd be running in the heat, but getting that longer run in was addictive. I just didn't feel right missing it. Besides, it gave me a chance to talk to Janie.

"I expected you hours ago," she smiled as I walked in. "You're a lot sweatier than normal."

"I went to church this morning," I said smiling.

"You're kidding me," she said.

"Nope and you're going next Sunday," I said. She came out from behind the counter and stepped up to me.

"Why the fuck would I do that?" She asked angrily. "Those old bitches are only going to try to put me down and..."

"You're going to love it," I said. She looked at me suspiciously. "You know the preacher's wife is the one who..."I started rubbing her back.

"You're planning something aren't you?" she asked smiling. I nodded my head.

"Trust me, you're going to want to be there," I said.

"Okay," she said. "I'll go. But I'm doing it for you. So you're going to owe me one."

On Wednesday, I told the Reverend that I was sure that Janie would be in church on Sunday. He got a gleam in his eye that told me that I'd been correct about him wanting to get his hands on Janie's luscious body.

On Thursday, I told him about how I'd gotten a famous local choir to drop by for a couple of musical numbers during the service Sunday. He was extremely happy about that. He patted me on the back and told me that if I kept going the way I was, I'd be a deacon in no time at all.

On my way out, I noticed the Reverend's chauffer was looking at me and he seemed extremely pissed.

As I passed him, he had a few words for me. "I was supposed to be the next deacon," he hissed. "Why are you trying to block me out?"

He was whispering so the preacher wouldn't hear him. I grabbed him by the lapels on his cheap suit and pulled him outside where we wouldn't be heard.

"I haven't forgotten about you at all," I said. "And you're really the one who started this shit. You're lucky that you're so pathetic that you're beneath my notice. I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire. Don't make me change my mind."

He looked shocked. "Fuck it," he said. "You can be the deacon. You don't get paid for it anyway."

At home, things still weren't going any better. Yesterday, Kim came to speak to me. "John, I understand that you've been talking to the Reverend a lot lately," said Kim. "You even went to church last Sunday, but you didn't sit with me. Do you know how embarrassing that is?"

"I know what's going on," she said. I knew that she didn't have a clue.

"Why can't we sit down and talk about this?" she asked.

"Okay, Kim," I said. "Let's talk. Go ahead."

"Well, I've heard some talk around town. They've said that you've done some great things for the church. You've gotten a lot of men who stopped attending the services to come back. I even heard that the Reverend's wife somehow influenced you to do something. At first, I thought that maybe you had something going on with Lilly Pile..." I started laughing.

"She is pretty, John," she said. "I could see a man wanting her."

"Not me," I said. "I'd much rather be with you than her. That woman is a snake." Kim smiled at that.

"But I also heard that you've been talking to Jane Foster," she said. "And the next thing I know women all over town are talking about her getting her hair done this morning. And she bought an outfit for church too. So now Lilly Pile made a special appointment to get her hair done and her blond dye job touched up and she bought a new dress too. I'm not an idiot John. You have something going on with that Jane Foster don't you?"

"Kim, I have never cheated on you with anyone, Jane Foster and Reverend Pile's psychotic wife included. I have never so much as kissed either one of them, or had any kind of sex with either of them," I said. "I have been completely faithful to you for the entirety of our marriage."

I looked her straight in the eye. And as our eyes made contact, I think she realized that I knew. She couldn't hold my gaze and she ran upstairs crying.

I spoke to the Reverend once more late Saturday afternoon. I told him that since the choir was going to be at our church the next day, he might want to really dress up his sermon.

"Why?" he asked.

"Well, since they're kind of famous, there will probably be a few reporters from the papers and the news channels there," I said. Both he and his lizard-like wife were practically salivating. I guess pride really does go before a fall.

"Can you get to the church early tomorrow?" I asked.

"Why?" he asked again. I could see he was enthralled at the chance to be on TV or in the papers.

"So I can detail your Caddy to make it look like the car a man of your status should be driving," I said.

"Excellent idea John," he said smiling. "That will make it perfect." As he turned to leave, his wife grabbed my arm in her iron grip.

"I've heard you worked your miracle," she hissed and smiled at me. As she leaned up to tell me, I noticed that one of her boney hips pushed its way against my dick which stayed soft.

"I'm really going to enjoy tomorrow, but perhaps the next day, you and I should have a little talk, say around lunch time?" She pressed a piece of paper into my hand. "Call me first and we can arrange to meet. But keep this between the two of us, okay?"

"Yes ma'am," I said smiling.

"Holy shit," I thought. The bitch was as bad as her husband.

Everything was in place. I called my lawyer to make sure he was ready on his end. I slept on the sofa that night and Kim didn't question it. I was sure I heard her alternately crying and praying all through the night, but it was far too late for either. No amount of tears or praying could help us.

Sunday Morning I was nervous as hell but as excited as hell too. Church services started at 9 am, but I was there by 7. When I arrived, the preacher's Caddy was already there with an angry chauffer sitting on it smoking cigarette after cigarette. He'd parked it right beside the side door of the church. There was barely room to get the car's door open without scraping the side of the church.

I'd brought some of my car washing supplies with me. My goal was to quickly detail the caddy and then go home and change. I didn't need the chauffer there before church started. As I walked up to him, he glared at me and I laughed in his face.

"Why are you laughing at me," he smirked. "You're just as much his flunky as I am, but you don't even get paid for it." He was staring at me with that smug, "I fucked your wife look."

I smiled right back at him. A few moments later, right on schedule, Jason came around the side of building and spoke to him. Jason was one of the guys I had working with me. His job was to distract Bobby. They left together.

Bobby had a terrible habit of smoking and just dropping his matches and his cigarette butts everywhere. As I looked at the car there were already three or four butts around the car and it wasn't even 8 am yet. I needed to keep him away from the car until church started. I poured some of my special wax onto a rag and smeared it liberally all over the car. I rubbed it in polishing as I went. I put the same special polish on the car's rubber tires and every exposed surface.

Normally, I do the interior of a car first. But in this case I wanted to make sure that I had enough to do the entire outside of the car so I did it first. After that I smeared what was left over on some of the interior surfaces.

The car looked like shit. I went back over it again and as the polish dried it did become a bit shinier. By the time I was ready to quit it looked the way it had when I first started. It almost looked like I hadn't done anything. The tires and rims were definitely shinier though. They looked great. I figured the Reverend would notice that if he didn't notice anything else.

As I collected my stuff, I noticed a run-down pickup truck pulling into the parking lot. Grant got out of one side of the truck and waved at me. His wife, whose name I couldn't remember got out of the other side. Then things got fuzzy and I almost fell over. I swear to God I thought I saw an angel getting out of the run-down truck. It was Janie and she looked beautiful. Her hair was all done up in a wave of chestnut ringlets that cascaded down her back, nearly to her tiny waist.

As I stared at her with my mouth open, she got closer and closer until she was standing right in front of me.

I just stared at her. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my life. All of a sudden I noticed that she was actually talking to me.

"...Hear a word I said, did you?" she asked. I just smiled at her. And she started talking again.

"So are you going to do it?" she asked.

"Do what?" I asked her back. She looked frustrated and started growling at me.

"I got all dolled up like this and came into this place where they're all going to be staring at me and calling me all kinds of names," she said. "I'm not religious in the least. I haven't been to church in so many years I can't even remember when. I'm not doing this shit to save my soul. I'm doing it because you asked me to. So before I step into that hornet's nest, the least you could do is kiss me." She put a hand on her hip and stared at me.

My body wanted to kiss her. My body wanted to do more than kiss her. But my brain told me that if I did that, if I started anything here, I'd be just as bad as Kim, the preacher, his crusty assed wife and all the rest of them.

As if she could read my thoughts, she spoke. "John, you didn't start any of this, they did. Kim is a grown woman. She had a choice. If the two of you were happy, I'd never have said a word, but..."

I grabbed her then and took her gently in my arms. I pressed my lips tentatively against hers. I kissed her gently but she grabbed my head and pressed her mouth more firmly against mine and her tongue inserted itself between my lips. I could feel her warmth through the white linen of her dress and my erection threatened to rip its way through my jeans.