Jeurridam Ch. 08: Area 51

"Darren said you were doing very well for yourself the other day. I don't know, I guess I found it too good to be true. He told me you were seeing someone new. Where's the new guy?" I asked. Zeek stared at me with those stones for irises.

"Dead..." He said. It shook me to the core.

"Dead?" I asked.

"Rion had one of his goons snipe him right when we least expected it... I never lost anything before, but today... I know what it feels like to have someone carve out your chest with shards of their own heart to rip out yours. It feels sooooooooo empty..." Zeek sighed.

"I'm so sorry, Zeek." I said, fully empathizing with the boy.

"What's there to be sorry for? I got to learn how to stop falling so fast for people... That's just a setup for impending failure." He said, as depressing as ever.

"Don't blame yourself for something like this... Just know that we might not have much but we got each other! You, me and Heaven... We all need to have each other's back from this moment on." I said.

"I don't want the liability." Zeek said as plainly as ever.

"Well damn, then. Maybe I do! Maybe Heaven does! Liability is unavoidable! Shit happens! All of this was incomprehensibly sad today! We couldn't change it for the damn world and there's no point in reflecting on it! We need to think of how to cope with what's to come because we got a long road ahead..." I sighed.

"Okay..." Zeek shrugged, "So what's the plan from now on out?"

"We patch Zanir up and cope. Our goal is to get him back on the road as quick as possible and make sure he completes what needs to be completed." I said.

"You know," He began, "I still don't know what's so important about him... like what he does..."

"No issue, bro. You weren't as close to him as I was so of course you wouldn't know. Zanir has the final puzzle pieces to something that could complete the United Cybernetic Military and a lot of people know it! The UCAC, Ravagers and Revivalists have been scouring the Earth trying to find these missing puzzle pieces. Depends on who finds it first who'll have the real upper hand." I sighed. Zeek looked at me shocked.

"Wait... So... Wait. The Revivalists, Ravagers, and UCAC are all after Zanir?" He asked.

"Yes."

"And the Ravagers and Revivalists are literally camped out here!!" Zeek said, panicked.

"Not quite... They left when they had no leads. We had Zanir hidden right under their nose." I clarified.

"I hope the Ravagers do not get a hold of him. They'll just destroy him... They'll treat him like a mech..." Zeek said.

"The Revivalists are no different. They will prong the boy, scour his mind to find anything worth using against the UCAC then dispose of him. They wouldn't care about his practicality, only what he has. It's why we need to watch Zanir carefully when he wakes up... He may do some things out of a broken heart without thinking." I added. Zeek looked at me for a long time, something definitely bothering him.

"So Zanir and Galvy were a thing?" He asked.

"Yeah, they were. Galveston got Zanir to do things I didn't know the boy was even capable of, pulled out so much humanity from that boy in the most... invigorating ways. The two grew quite close, planned on leaving for Labrador together..." I sighed. Zeek simply smiled, shaking his head.

"That's not fair..." He sighed, sounding so defeated.

"Why?" I asked.

"I never even had a fighting chance with him... Every time I had a chance to spend with Zanir, I'd blow it because I hated him or just would treat him like shit... That wasn't at all fair to him... Like I should have been what Galveston was to him but no, I was just being a lump of shit." Zeek explained.

"You know you were going through your own personal struggle at the time. Why reflect on shit in the past you can't change rather than try to build for a better future... a future with Zanir?" I suggested.

"You know god damn well Zanir won't even look at me after this... You know he's gonna hate me! He's gonna blame me for this all!" Zeek said back.

"He won't... Zanir's not like that! He'll understand the circumstances if you just explain yourself..."

"No he's helped me too much with not enough to show for it. This right here... If I were him, I wouldn't be able to forgive someone at this point..." He said.

"But you're not him! You're Ezekiel Micorẽ Xylan Quintli Jovan Logatti! You're a hardened, no thrills kid that had to grow up fast... Faster than any of us, maybe except for Alistair. You've seen things that many people would break down into a nervous wreck over and just chof at it like it's nothing... Of course, you'd be less tolerable of it all but Zanir is not that type of person." I said, hoping to reassure him. Zeek steadily shook his head.

"Just take me back to Henderson to get my stuff... I dropped my safe off at the factory in A99 when I realized Da Lagon was stalking me..." I sighed.

"Your stuff?" I asked.

"Yeah, what I've earned over the past month of being out there in the desert. You know I still have my job in Henderson and I plan on going back to it." He said.

"What was your job?" I asked, truly intrigued.

"I managed to get a job at the Henderson Justice office as a filing consultant... It's part-time, just to start me off until I can work my way up, I guess..." He shrugged. This was shocking news!

"You got a job," I began, "Because you can read????"

"Yeah." He said, not feeling it was that big of a deal.

"AWE ZEEK!!" I squealed, hugging him tightly. He fought me off, not really wanting to be affectionate.

"Quit..." He sighed, getting to his feet.

Suddenly, the prancing Leer came in from the desert startling us both.

"What the hell is that?" Zeek asked, backing away.

"You remember the tiny little thing you stole?" I responded, "It grew up... It won't hurt you."

"Wow..." Zeek laughed.

The Leer entered the hospital, warranting strange looks from everyone. Even Big Daddy had to turn his head. The Leer simply laid down beside Zanir, going into torpor. It was crazy how all these machines were in tune with him. It was like they all cared for his well being! June, Julio and Heaven were all amazed by this.

"June..." I began, getting ready to ask him for this favor.

"Yeah?" He responded.

"Zeek left some things back in the desert and he needs to collect them so can we...?"

"I'm not all that sure about that... I just..." June said, having little trust for Zeek. It didn't matter to me. His keys were on the cart's tray so, I grabbed them without a second thought, "Really?"

"Yes really! My brother needs me and I'm gonna help him..." I said. He looked to Alistair who only shrugged, completely understanding my stance.

"Go with her..." He shrugged. June sighed as he me followed to Basil.

"We're going to go collect some stuff... I promise you we're not bringing anyone back." I smiled.

"Okay..." Basil said, very unsure of us all.

I didn't blame him. He was a leader of a very unorthodox civilization in the middle of nowhere and if anyone without the best of interest at mind discovered this place, it would mean certain doom! This place was a very fragile operation, beautiful even, kids coming together from every stretch of the desert to depend on each other. It'd be sad to see this place destroyed right after it's birth... However, June didn't share these sentiments.

"I don't like that damned kid." He said.

"I'm not surprised you'd say that, Mr. Brood..." I teased.

"No I'm serious! He seems... off." June noted but couldn't put his finger on it.

"Like he's exhausted, spread too thin and having to deal with all these strangers?" I asked, warranting an eyeroll from June.

"No I mean, like he's only helping for his own gain... He seems always calculating, always trying to get over! I don't like sleazes like that!" June said.

"Bruh, he organized a ring that cut travel in the corridor so he could steal resources without as much as a trace! You're looking at this wrong! He's a bad guy for all the right reasons, a hero to many with a vision to uphold!!" I laughed. It gave June something to think about.

"But still..." He said, just not sold on Basil.

"Get used to manipulative people! They're everywhere!!" I said with an eyebuck. June chuckled.

He and I took Alistair home, dropping me and Ezekiel off in The Outskirts. My truck had been hidden in the hills of rubble for months, now. June didn't leave though, following as I drove Ezekiel to Henderson. Upon arriving, his truck had been terribly pillaged, almost beyond repair. The already upset boy was now incredibly frustrated. We got out to assess the damage.

"They stole my water tank, my cooking stuff," He said, climbing onto the back where his truck box was, "And busted this open and stole my guns..." I popped the hood, this not looking so hot either.

"They stripped the engine of all the wires and I think they stole the gasket head, turbocharger, fuel injector and vacuum line." I sighed.

"FUCK!!" Ezekiel screamed, kicking the truck.

Even his windows were shattered, the things clothes he had inside all stolen as well as an assortment of other things. June stood back, silently laughing.

"They pulled one on you, didn't they...?" He said, not feeling sorry for Ezekiel at all.

"So sorry bro..." I shrugged, hating all his stuff was stolen.

"And it couldn't have been anyone other than Da Lagon because no one in Henderson would dare steal something from someone else... This is... Everything I've done is just catching up with me..." He said, truly feeling defeated.

"Zeek, stop that! We still gotta get your safe..." I said.

"All things considered they probably found that and busted that open too. They were watching my every move, OUR every move!" He said.

"But still!" I insisted.

"Whatever..." He sighed, climbing back into the truck. We rode out across the Hoover Dam to the Sonoran. The mill could be seen in the distance, looking like a mystic city in the evening dust. We arrived, Zeek going right to where he hid the vault. The vault was still where he left it, completely unscathed. He quickly put in the code, checking his contents.

Both June and I were surprised at how much money was inside... Hundreds of thousands of desert dollars and pesos were neatly stacked inside. Still though, the boy cried as though this wasn't good, as though having that much money was a tragedy! He reached inside pulling out a gun.

"Easy..." June warned. Zeek looked at him menacingly before chucking the gun at him.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!! I wasn't going to do anything... The gun wasn't even mine. I gave it to my friend Luke so he could take care of himself. They boy put the gun in the safe thinking as long as he was with me, he didn't need it. Then Rion came and took him from me..." Zeek said, "June, I know you don't like me and quite frankly I don't give a fuck!! I don't like you either... Just pretend you're invisible and don't say shit else... This is between me and Beth..."

It was then and there June realized that this wasn't the same Zeek he knew years!! This Zeek was just as cold but far less treacherous, far more about his business and less about getting over on people. Hell I was shocked as well. Zeek had changed a lot in a matter of months but it seemed like everything was trying to keep him back where he was. As long as I could help it, I wouldn't let that life pull him back in.

Zeek closed the safe, picking it up and placing it in the bed of the truck. We rode back to Area 51, it being pitch black out by the time we arrived back.

"You know," Zeek began, "It's still incredibly dangerous to be seen out there. Rion's Lord placed a hit on us and we Logatti may be in some serious danger. I just don't know... Maybe you and Heaven should go home..."

"And leave you out here to face all of that?" I asked.

"Beth, you're my little sister! You think I want something to happen to you?" He responded.

"Dad may be one wicked man, one that pushed all three of us away, but one thing he was right about is that we're nothing without family! I'm not leaving you to deal with Da Lagon by yourself! I'd rather deal with the entire Da Lagon band than hear my father's pointless rhetoric if I go back home." I said, shaking my head.

"Beth, you don't know fucked up Da Lagon is! What Rion did earlier today was just a mere taste! I lived with them for nearly half a decade!" He insisted.

"Not to intrude," June said over the radio, "But Beth outran our fastest most deadly buggies in that very truck you're sitting in and killed several of our goons... That's someone you want to have on your tea..."

"WHO ASKED YOU?" Zeek interrupted, screaming, picking up the radio badge before shutting it off. I looked at him, wondering why he and June were not on good terms. Zeek just sat there, staring out of the window as the truck parked in the lake bed. June pulled up right beside us.

We walked from the lakebed to the hangars. Everything was silent between us as we entered the infirmary. Zanir was still in a coma, lying on his side with the prong connected to the back of his head. Heaven and Julio sat on the tarmac of the hangar, bored.

"How's he holding up?" I asked.

"Stable..." Heaven yawned, quite sleepy.

"You're sleepy?" I asked, "We can camp up in here, I guess..."

"Sure..." Heaven sighed.

We got the camping gear we had for the trip to the wasteland and set everything up in the terminal Zanir was in. Everyone was beyond exhausted at this point. Heaven waste no time in catching some shuteye. He didn't even make it to his tent, collapsing into his sleeping bag just outside of it. Julio just watched him, sitting back in a corner of the terminal steadily watching. I noticed he spared too many glances at Heaven before but this was damn creepy.

Not wanting to put the boy on blast, I sat in front of him, away from everyone else. He looked on, lost.

"What?" He asked.

"Why is it that everytime Heaven's not paying attention, you're busy staring at him?" I asked plainly. The boy looked at me shocked, defensiveness ready to pour in to push away my insistent prodding.

"Really?" He asked.

"I'm just curious. I won't utter a damn word... Just a bit of advice though... Don't try to pounce when he's going through a hard time like this. It won't be fair to either of you in the end. I don't mind it if you and my brother become something more than just awkward glances and strange conversations. Just treat him right because I am the sister of Ezekiel Micorẽ Xylan Quintli Jovam Logatti and four times as crazy..." I said.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He asked, refuting the claims.

"What you mean what the hell am I talking about? I'm talking about the fact that you're sitting here staring at my little brother with thoughts you can't explain but feel are wrong... when they're not... Let me ask you something... Do you think I'm straight?" I asked back. He looked at me surprised, unsure where this was heading.

"I mean you're with June... I guess you are." He shrugged.

"I'm bi-sexual... I lost my virginity to a girl, bruh. I remember it as clear as day... Don't you sit here and beat yourself up over your sexuality because you don't understand it. Don't try to understand it... Just embrace your sexuality as though it is a principle of as basic a function as it goes! I don't care if you're gay, straight, pan, bi, try, metro, demi, sapio, pyro hell...even necro! Embrace it..." I smiled.

"Wait, wha...whaaaaaaa? I just thought there was gay, straight and bi... What the fuck is try? And..."

"Shhhh..." I interrupted, "You're thinking too much about it. Breath... and embrace it!"

"Beth..."

"Breath and embrace it!" I said.

"Beth!" He began laughing, "I can't. How are people going to look at me when they find out?"

"For one, it's none of their business. Secondly, you think people will judge you over something as insignificant as your sexuality when murder, money and might are the only things people care about? Thirdly, who'd guess? Look at Zeek! Do you know him?" I asked.

"Not well... I just know no one likes him." Julio chuckled.

"He's the gayest piece of gay on this side of gayness! Try him... Wait... Don't do that!" I said.

"Really? He doesn't really come across as gay not in the slightest..." Julio said, surprised.

"Well, he's not really gay. He's bi but damn... catch him with his guard's down and you'll see what I'm talking about!" I laughed.

"I just don't know, Beth. Like, June is my best friend! I've been keeping this secret from him for the longest and I don't want it to ruin our friendship! I don't even know how he'd react if he found out so please chill with that shit, man." He begged.

"June doesn't give a fuck about anything... you think he'll care about you being what ever the hell you are?" I asked.

"I mean he's said some pretty hateful things about gays and that just fucking turned me all off from telling him. Like if he has that level of disdain for them and he's like my brother, the only real family I got, why would I dare sacrifice the relationship...?" Julio countered.

"Because living this lifestyle isn't healthy. Living a lie will result in a breaking point and lashing out. We had the same talk with Heaven not too long ago, before you two got acquainted and every concern you have right now, he had..." I answered. He stared at me for a long time.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked.

"Because, I love my brothers... I love you guys! You're like family in an odd way and family needs to function as efficiently as possible and I was getting some weird vibes from you. I'm the type of person who just can't help but nurture so bare with me. I just couldn't help myself. If you want to continue to admire my brother from a far, feel free. I mean this was as much as I was willing to do anyways before I step out of it... This matter is truly out of my hands as you so plainly will state. Just know that no matter what you decide to do, I will accept you for you, June will accept you for you, my brothers will accept you for you... Anyone who'll ever care for you in the future will accept you for you! This war you're having is with yourself and yourself alone. I can only advise..." I responded. He shook his head, all of this being too much for him.

"Please don't." He said.

"Fine..." I shrugged, getting up and heading to my tent.

He watched as June and I boarded together, obviously longing for something like this for himself. Still though, he had much to think about tonight. It's not like I didn't like Julio. He was one gorgeous boy, standing about five foot eleven, with glowing honey toned skin. He had very chiseled and distinguished features, a strong but narrow brow that gave way to a narrow nose, thin but plump enough lips and high cheek bones. His hair was quite coarse and curly, compared to most other Mojave natives, the boy having some African in his blood somewhere. Like most Mojave natives though, he had the same striking green eyes.

Looks aside, he was the nicest person. He didn't have the same streak of crazy, cold, muder-full-ness as June and was quite a bit more sympathetic! However, it was clear that Julio was very, very emotions driven and could make rash reactions based upon how he felt. That was something I was concerned over but he was quite young... Nineteen, twenty, maybe? Yeah, he was twenty one because he and June were born exactly at the same time. He still had a lot of self reflection and humbling to be done and if he did end up with Heaven, it surely would happen!

Heaven was after all one dry ass kid who was no frills. He was short, sharp and to the point, capable of telling a person some serious truth without a sign of animosity. It kind of was his calling card. It'd be like a miniature version of Galveston's and Zanir's relationship just less to that extreme. Hell, maybe I was being too optimistic. From the tiny glimpses I've seen of Julio and Heaven's interactions, the boys were just so awkward and barely got a long. Who knows...