Joanie and Me

The business was not only operational I had more work than one person could keep up with. I hired an older guy who'd done electrical in the city years ago and kept his journeyman license current. With him working a twenty-five-hour week, it afforded me time to do bids and other things, the business was going great. As fall began to peek out from behind the summer grasses and bright green leaves my world took a nosedive the day my dad took his last breath. I found him unresponsive one morning, he'd gone in his sleep, just the way he'd wanted to.

When I called my brothers, neither were inclined to come home, they were successful in their respective businesses and knew they weren't going to get any of what they called "the old man's money." I found myself wondering what he'd ever done to them to be so uncaring. They'd been given a substantial amount of money long before either of our folks had died. It didn't really matter, they were my brothers in name only. It did concern me that I was unable to find my sister.

When the will was read everything was left to me with the stipulation that I couldn't sell the homestead for five years after pa's death. I could sell all but the original fifty seven acres the farm had started with, but not the homestead until after five years. The fifty thousand in Joanie's account was put in her and my name with a proviso that I make an effort to find her. A gift of ten thousand to our local hospice concluded all mom and dad's desires

With life back to what may be considered normal and the holiday season a few weeks away I began to become obsessed with finding my sister. I placed ads in newspapers around the Phoenix area to no avail. Something fairly new was taking over social media at that point, a site called facebook. I wasn't a part of it, but Mrs. Reynold daughter was and suggested I try posting a search for anyone who might know her. Lo and behold ten days later I received a reply not from Joanie, but someone who thought she might be in the Santa Fe, NM area.

I hired the cheapest PI I could find in that area with the hopes of finding my sister. Sixteen days later I had an address and cell phone number. From the report sent to me I also knew she was working as a waitress in a diner and lived on her own. I was 26 at the time and hadn't seen her for seventeen years. I found myself wanting to rectify that in any way possible. On a whim I called just after eight on a Friday night. My heart was racing as the phone rang.

"Yeah?" She barked into the phone.

"Is this Joanie?"

I heard her groan, "Nobody's called me that for years. Who the hell are you?"

"This is Ron."

In an exasperated voice she boomed, "Ron who? Why the hell are you calling me?"

I responded as calmly as I could, "This is Ron, your brother Ron. I'm calling because I wanted to find you."

The line was silent so long I thought she'd disconnected. As I began pulling the phone away from my ear I heard her voice. It sounded crackly, as though she'd been crying.

"Hi Ronnie. Sorry for yelling. You caught me completely off guard. Last I heard you were in the Air Force. Are you still doing that?"

"No, I got out a few years ago. I bought Mr. Reynolds electrical business and I'm living at the farm."

"Where's dad, in a nursing home?"

"He died late summer, I've been trying to find you since. Dad told me you'd been in jail, is that true?"

I could hear her sighing as though she was perturbed, "Yeah, I was for a while. I was sentenced to three years but got out in just over two for good behavior. Been on my own since. Got no husband or boyfriend, I seem to attract losers so why bother."

"Would you ever consider moving back here?" I asked.

She paused before answering, I could almost hear the gears turning.

"I don't know, never gave it much thought. I figured the old man didn't want me around, he always blamed me for mom dying so young. I was told that he said my leaving broke her heart."

Truer words had not been spoken, "Yes, mom cried for days after you left, but you going away didn't kill her. This hard farm life did, she was too fragile, and as much as dad tried to keep her from the heavy chores, she was too damned head strong to stop. Besides, dad's no longer here, there's nothing to stop you from coming home now."

"You make it sound great little brother, but I'd end up at Bonnies Diner waiting tables in a little town where they think two bucks is a big tip. No thanks."

I had an epiphany at that moment, "You could come to work for me. Mrs. Reynolds has been fielding calls when I can't, but I know she'd like to stop doing that. You could answer the phone, do the bookkeeping, stuff like that."

She laughed, "Once again, you make it sound great, but I don't know a damned thing about bookkeeping or office work. I'd just make a mess of things."

I was determined, "Listen, there's a program called Quickbooks for simple businesses like mine, I use it because I don't understand everything either. The high school has classes at night on how to use a computer and they have a class on Quickbooks as well. You could take those classes and run the office for me."

"Mmm, I don't know. That might be too far outside my comfort zone, I been on my own a long time. Besides, how would I get there and where would I live? I don't have a car, I take the bus everywhere."

Without thinking any further I forged ahead, "I'll come and get you, I'm the only one at the house, you can have your pick of bedrooms. There's nothing in your old room but moms sewing machine and quilting rack. At least tell me you'll think about it before you say no."

I could hear her fidgeting with something and then answered, "Okay, I'll think about it, but no promises. If I decide to come back, when could you come get me?"

"I have two big jobs coming up that I can't get away from, but if you remember Allyssa Kriebeck, her oldest brother works for me part time. I can fly him down, have him rent a u-haul and drive you back."

I sensed the concern before she spoke, "Nah. I don't want some guy hittin on me for a two-day drive. Can't you just come. You know what, never mind. It was good to hear from you Ronnie, I gotta go. Bye."

Just like that silence invaded my phone. I hadn't heard from her for two weeks and had written that idea off as a learning experience. I would let her know about the money and the rest was up to her. The next evening my phone rang with a number I didn't recognize. I answered and upon hearing her voice my heart skipped a beat.

"Hi Ronnie, it's Joanie. Does that offer still stand? I would like to be home for the holidays. I don't like the idea of being with some strange guy for two days, but I'll cope."

"To put your mind at ease sis, Bob is fifty-nine, has been married to Karen for 38 years and is on heart meds. I know for a fact that his equipment doesn't work anymore because of the meds, the risk of him trying something is nil. Now, when can I send Bob to bring you home?"

She laughed softly, "Coming home, something I thought would never happen. Can he be here by Friday? If so, I'll quit on Thursday, help him pack my meager belongings on Friday and be on the road Saturday morning."

"But what about advance notice that you'll be leaving?"

"If I do that he'll fire me on the spot. No thanks, I'll work until the last minute and tell him where to send my final paycheck. We could be there Sunday late afternoon or early evening. Are there still leaves on the trees? I haven't seen autumn colors in years."

I found myself pondering, of all the things to think about she wants to know if the autumn leaves have fallen.

"Most of the soft woods and maples are done, the oaks are still holding on."

"Okay then, have him here by Thursday night. Where I live they have what's called a guest room that we can rent for thirty bucks a night when family or relatives come to visit. I'll tell them Bob is my cousin, he can stay there Thursday night. I pay monthly and Friday will be the end of the month, they can send my deposit after they inspect."

I wondered about how big a truck she'd need.

"I have very little that's mine. A single twin bed, a small beat-up dresser, and clothes. The only few knacks I have are what I accumulated through the years. Whatever size the smallest truck they have is, it will be big enough."

Sunday evening I was on the porch watching the valley road for any sign of a U-Haul truck. The smell of freshly combined corn was in the air, I could hear a combine across the way at Bremer's but could only see the bright lights as it made its way across the ridge. The small fire I had in the pit had died to nothing more than embers and coals when I saw headlights turn into the valley. As it got closer I could make out the distinct orange and white of the truck, when it stopped at the gate I stood wondering what was happening.

I watched as the passenger door opened and a female figure got out. It was nearly dark so details were at a minimum, but I could see her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She closed the door and started walking toward the barn, I was going to go after her but realized she needed a few moments to herself on the old place. A place she hadn't seen in nearly eighteen years. Bob drove the truck up to the house, parked it, told me he'd see me in the morning, jumped in the pickup he'd left at my house and headed home.

I was sitting back in the Adirondack chair with my feet on the railing when I saw her round the corner near the machine shed and start back up the driveway. Her gait was slow and deliberate, as though she was completely worn out and had to contemplate each step. I stood when she was about fifteen feet from the porch, as she walked into the light I found myself stunned. Thankfully I was able to hide it.

She was dressed in jeans full of holes, not the ones you buy that way, the holes in her jeans had come the hard way, worn out sneakers and a faded western style blouse. Her face looked hard and sullen, I realized it was like looking into an empty space. Thin, gaunt, stringy hair that appeared as though it hadn't seen a beautician in ages, her natural beauty seemed to have faded. The bright, funny, exciting, vibrant girl I knew as a lad wasn't there anymore, she wasn't much more than a shell of humanity. I walked to her, as I descended the two steps she reached out and took hold of me with both arms. Not a sound was made as we stood in the darkness hugging, I could feel her body shake slightly as she sobbed, which in turn caused the same in me.

Pushing me back without letting go I saw a smile for the first time. That to shocked me, the lower teeth in the front were missing and the uppers in serious need of attention.

"You must be Ronnie, men aren't supposed to cry, that's for women, not men. My goodness, you've grown into quite a handsome young man."

As I hugged her again I spoke softly, "That's bullshit. I haven't seen you for almost 18 years, I'll cry if I want to. Let's grab your overnight bag and head into the house, we'll unpack tomorrow."

She laughed, "Overnight bag? Really?" She walked to the truck.

"I have one small suitcase and that's it. The few other clothes I own are in two boxes on the truck. I have everything I need in this handy dandy suitcase, show me the way."

Mom had the kitchen remodeled shortly before she died, Joan commented how nice it looked. Mother had also insisted that a wheelchair accessible attached bath be added to the master bedroom at the same time as the kitchen work. That left the bathroom in the hallway free to whomever might be in the other bedrooms. When I took her to what was now called the guest room she smiled and sat on the queen mattress, bouncing slightly, making soft noises of acceptance. Looking up she said quietly.

"This is nice Ronnie. I haven't slept in a bed this big in ages. It feels so comfy. Is the hall bath really mine? I can hang undies and stuff in there and you won't yell at me?" I shook my head as I smiled. "Not that I have delicate undies and such, it was just a thought."

I offered to make a quick something or another to eat while she showered and made herself as she called it, "presentable". She walked into the kitchen in a long tee shirt that hung to her knees. It was obvious she was dressed for bed.

"Hope you don't mind, this is all I have for nightwear. It covers everything."

I glanced at her, "You're fine. Milk, hot chocolate, water, apple cider? What's your preference?"

I saw a wry smile forming, "Is it fresh cider? I haven't had fresh cider since I left here. If it's fresh, I'd like that."

I chuckled," Can't be any fresher, I picked it up at the orchard stand this morning."

After a hug, some small talk at the foot of the stairs and a cheerful goodnight she ascended the stairs to what I hoped would be a good night sleep. She wasn't up when I left at six, I left a note for her to call when she woke, that there was food in the fridge and to eat whatever she'd like. I hadn't heard from her by noon and decided to run home quick. Walking through the mud room I could see her at the table with a cup of coffee. The smile on her face was precious and would have been more precious if her mouth were full of teeth. She stood as I approached and hugged me.

"Thanks for letting me sleep in. I've only been up about twenty minutes. I've had to be up at 4:30 every working day for years, I think my body needed a rest. What's the plan for the rest of the day?"

"For you it's quite simple. Nothing. I want you to relax and unwind, with turkey day around the corner there will be plenty to do in the days ahead. If you have laundry, I'll show you how to use the new washer and dryer, they look daunting, but once you figure them out they're great."

Before I went back to work I carried in the two boxes her clothes were in, there was little to nothing left to move inside, she hadn't been kidding when she spoke of meager belongings. I called about three and told her to dress so that we could go out to eat when I got done for the day. She was on the porch sitting on the swing when I rolled up the drive at 5:20. Her attire consisted of the same jeans she'd worn the day before and an older tee shirt with some country band logo on the front. I was going to say something and quickly realized she probably had little else to wear.

Walking into the laundry room I noticed three pair of panties on the drying rack that had definitely seen better days and a single bra which was so wash faded it looked nearly grey. I made a mental note that we were going Plum City for supper and some shopping, a city of about nine thousand forty-five minutes from our smaller town. As I drove the opposite direction of town she asked where we were going.

"To the city. There are more eating places there and we're gonna hit Kohls after we eat."

She asked if there was an Olive Garden and if so, could we go there. Following supper we headed toward Kohls. Inside the door she stopped and asked what I was looking for.

"I'm looking for underwear, for you. I saw that tattered looking stuff in the laundry room, it's time those were replaced. New panties, bras, socks, some more jeans and slacks if you want, some blouses. I'm not gonna have you looking like someone's poor relative."

"Is that what I look like Ronnie? Someone's poor relative?"

I contemplated my response, then decided to go with the truth.

"The truth is Joanie, you do, but you don't have to. Dad left inheritance money for you, buying a few clothes won't break the bank. I want you to look pretty again Joanie, not worn out and tired. If I've said too much just say so and I won't butt in anymore."

With a tear in her eye she put her hand on my cheek, "You're the first man who's been brutally honest with me in years. Okay, here's the deal. If I'm to buy new underwear, it's only right you help me pick it out."

Laughing as we went I would point to boy shorts or bikini style panties. When I pointed at some waist high briefs she stopped me in my tracks.

"No granny panties for me. I love your choice of colors and prints, it's going to be fun wearing these. Now, onto bras."

When we checked out she had new underwear, jeans, pants, blouses, a nightie, socks, a skirt she really liked and two pair of shoes. One for work and one for what she called play. About halfway home she asked about the money I'd spoken of.

"Dad left your inheritance in an escrow account in your name and mine in case you ever came home. You may have thought he was upset with you, I never heard him say anything but that he wished he knew where you were. He wanted to see his only daughter before he died."

With a raised eyebrow she scanned my face, "Inheritance? What inheritance?"

"He and mom set aside an amount for you older kids as a living inheritance. As the youngest the farm would go to me when both were dead. The boys used there's as down payments on homes and wanted nothing to do with the farm or land from then on. The farm and everything else was left to me, except your inheritance which is still in the bank."

"In the bank? How much is it?"

"Fifty thousand."

Her eyes rolled back into her head, I watched her slump on the seat, slammed on the brakes pulling onto the shoulder. When she came around I had her in my arms talking to her trying to wake her. Realizing where she was, she sat up.

"Fifty thousand dollars. My god, I would have never imagined. I've been living in poverty when I didn't have to. Why didn't I stuff my pride and call home before he died? I'm so stupid."

I continued holding her hand as she settled down. "You aren't stupid. We all make mistakes. Dad would be smiling ear to ear if he were still here. Pick your face up Joanie, it's time for a new you to emerge. Goodness, you're only 35, you're still young and there's nothing to hold you back any longer."

The rest of the ride home was silent, she never let go of my hand until we pulled into the driveway. As soon as we were inside she began opening packages and putting the new underwear into the washer. Taking the older panties and bra in hand she chucked them into the trash can with a good riddance. It was late enough I was ready for bed, as I said goodnight she hugged my neck.

"Thank you for believing in me Ronnie. I'm gonna stay up until the laundry is washed, then I'm gonna hang those new panties in MY bathroom where you won't be tempted to touch them. No more worn-out undies for me. Good night, sleep well."

I gave her a goofy look, "Touch them? Why would I want to touch them?"

"Because you're a man, and men are visual creatures. Whether they're looking at their sisters' undies or someone else's, it doesn't matter, they like to look. Tell me I'm wrong."

I stood like a deer in headlights, she grinned. "Yup, knew I was right. Go to bed."

As I lay in bed thinking, I had to admit that I'd picked out panties I would love to see on a woman. Even if it was my sister. At breakfast she had on the new nightie, turning sideways she lifted it to expose the side of her butt, and in turn exposing the new red and white striped panties I had picked out.

With a smile she teased, "I wore them just for you little brother. You picked them out, it's only right you get to see them on me. Now that that's done, don't be expecting anymore shows. You'll need to guess what I'm wearing from today on."

I gave her the keys to my car and told her where to go for registration in the nightly classes. When I walked into the kitchen that night I could have sworn mother wasn't dead, it smelled exactly like her cooking. I could tell she was excited about something as we ate, with my meal consumed I pushed back.

"What's up sis? You look jittery and excited."

"I decided what I'm going to do with part of my inheritance. I stopped by the dental clinic this afternoon. I'm gonna get my teeth fixed. She told me she can do a bridge on the bottom and with crowns on the uppers she says she can save them. I can have a smile again Ronnie. You'll need to help me get some money from the bank so I can get the process started."