Journey of the Next Door Valentines

"This is a harder question to ask," I sighed, "so please understand that I am not trying to offend you, nor make fun of you."

Koki nodded, and stayed focused on my face.

"Well...I am very happy being with you. But I am concerned about taking advantage of your innocence. Do you understand?"

She shook her head, looking curious, "I am not a criminal, so I am innocent. Is that not correct? What is 'taking advantage'?"

I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to think of how to approach this. "Innocent is not just used to describe someone who is not guilty of a crime. It also has a meaning, for someone who has little knowledge or experience about something. Being innocent can mean somebody can trick an innocent person into doing something that they may not want to do, if they had that greater knowledge. Tricking them this way is called, 'taking advantage' because you have the 'advantage' over the innocent person, by knowing more and using that knowledge against them. Does that make sense?"

"I think so," Koki said, looking as if her mind was still processing this input.

As she was thinking, our food came, and we thanked the server.

She dipped her fish into the tartar sauce, and then paused, "Is that like a scam? I have been taught to be careful of scams." Then she bit into her fish.

"Yes, they are similar, but not exactly the same," I answered, "however, they are usually used for different subjects."

"If you are concerned about having this 'advantage' over my innocence, then what subject is it you are concerned about," she asked as she sipped her Coke.

Quietly I said, "SEX!" I really should have timed that better, as she sputtered out some Coke. Then she started giggling, really giggling, and back in that high voice. I tried to get in a bite of my sandwich while Koki collected herself.

She chuckled, "Yes, with that, I am an innocent. They taught me nothing at schools, and schools were only for girls, so no boys. As no one would talk to me, except in class, I have no friends. Mother Ishikawa only said it was a bad thing to do." She resumed eating her fish & chips, and waiting for my response.

The server came to check on us, and I said we were fine.

"Didn't you ever look on your computer at school about sex?" I queried.

Koki shrugged. When she stopped chewing, she said, "School gave us the computers, and they would not let us see many things. Sex was the most blocked."

"Haven't you looked up 'sex' on computers or your phone in the USA"?

"A little," she said, "but my English was not good, and they use many different words. I see a lot of same words like penis, orgasm, clit, and vagina, but I do not understand how they are important. I watch some videos, and start laughing. In videos, they grab and wrestle...is that right word? ...and make funny noises and funny faces. I see penis in vagina, and it is messy, and they all sweat. Is this the 'advantage' you are afraid of with me, as I am innocent?"

I leaned back in my chair, again combed through my hair with my fingers, and finally said, "WOW!

Chewing and finally swallowing, she asked, "Is this good 'WOW' or bad 'WOW'?"

I shook my head to try to get something to fall into place for an answer. All I could say was a confused, "Both, neither, everything, but almost none of it."

Koki looked at me, sort of patiently blank, waiting for me to say something that made sense, as she knew enough English to know my last comment was not something to be taken literally. After a further wait, she asked cautiously, "Did I make you angry?"

"NO!" I immediately responded, "But...but, I need to think of you not like any woman I have known before. We will need to talk a lot more, and now is not the time for that talk."

"Have I made a problem for you?" she asked.

"Yes, but a good problem. It is one I will enjoy solving, and one, I hope, that you will enjoy solving with me."

"I will do anything with you, Chad, as long as you want to be with me. You are most special to me and I want to be special to you."

"Oh, you are," I said, as my mind wrestled with all the complexities of her naivety, and how I would approach those in a thoughtful, caring way. "That is all my questions for today. Please enjoy your lunch."

Koki smiled contentedly between mouthfuls, and looked at me often.

We finished our lunch and then looked around a couple gifts shops. She was joyful looking at all the knick-knacks and was so impressed by some of the framed artwork. That is when she told me she really liked art and had done some herself, which she would show me. I bought her a gift of a cartoonish, metal figure of a drunken moose, holding one of those dollar-type tiny liquor bottles, which she laughed at, so much.

When we left town, I drove south, out the other side of town, towards Blackhawk, but I turned back east on Golden Gate Canyon Road. When we got to Golden Gate Canyon State Park, I pulled off, and we walked the small loop trail behind the visitor's center. I told her my major at college, and career intention, was in forestry, and she was delighted that we could be around these mountains and trees all the time. I was beginning to think I would like that very much, too, having both her and my forests, together.

As we walked further, she cuddled my arm as we walked, and asked what these trees were, and asked what the ones were with the waving leaves, that we had seen before lunch. I told her that these were blue spruce, the Colorado state tree, and the earlier ones were aspens.

As soon as we drove out of the mountains, we turned north and returned to Boulder. It was getting close to dinner time at our parents' homes as we pulled up in her driveway. When I asked about tomorrow, she immediately agreed, even though I hadn't suggested anything we could do. I said I would call shortly with ideas and time, and then she gave me a lengthy kiss, before she got out with her moose, waved, and went inside.

I moved my car over to our driveway, and went inside. As soon as I got inside, mom pounced on me, "Oh! You're home! Can you move your car to the curb? We have to leave early tomorrow...just move it and then I will explain." I moved my car and then returned to mom's immediate attention. "My sister...oh god, your Aunt Sharon, of course...fractured her leg skiing and Howard...dad...oh, I am so rattled...Well, we are going to go up there for as long as Stewart and she need us to help. I am sorry to leave you alone on your vacation, since Paul left with Sandy for that stupid Spring Break party stuff in Mexico this morning, but..."

"I didn't know anything about that! And I never got to go on a spring break vacation, anywhere!"

"Oh, Chad...tough shit...now..."

"MOM!"

"Oh, Chad dear, I'm sorry. I'm just so worried about my baby sister. She sounds like she is in so much pain. You know she hates medications. Anyway, I know you can take care of yourself. Now, I have to make dinner. It won't be much, as I still have to pack. You will be okay...okay?"

"Of course, mom. Give Aunt Sharon my love and best wishes, and don't let Stewart get on your nerves."

"My little boy...oh, you're so good!"

"Geez, mom!"

"Hush, you will always be my little boy. Now clear out so I can cook!" mom said, as she gave me a quick peck on the cheek.

I went back to my room, and called Koki, "Hey, sexy lady...yes, you are! My parents are leaving tomorrow morning to go help my Aunt Sharon, who hurt her leg skiing. So...no, Paul went to Mexico with his girlfriend. So...yes, just the two of us...yes, that is great. How about 10 AM...Uh, okay, 9 AM. I'll come get...okay, okay, I will wait for you here. Are you alright? You are so excited...Yes, hugs and lots of kisses. Sleep well...yes, it was great day. Bye...bye beautiful!"

I don't know what had her wound up so much, but I guessed I would find out in the morning.

=+=+=+=+=+=+=

"Mom! What time is it?" I asked, trying to focus on the clock.

"4:30, sorry dear. We want to be in Cheyenne in time to make breakfast for your aunt & uncle, and those two hellions of cousins. I don't know when we will come back, but we will call. Okay?"

"Alright, mom. Don't wear yourself out."

"Thank you...and you behave while we are gone."

"What is that supposed to mean!?"

"Well...you'll be here, alone...and, just...you know. Behave!"

"Bye, Mom! Mis' U!"

"Behave!"

"Uhhhh!" I said, pulling the pillow over my face.

I woke up the second time, about 7:30, and headed for the bathroom, grabbing a Sports Illustrated to read in there. Finishing a feature article that I had started yesterday, I brushed my teeth and got into the shower. After I got dressed, and checked the house to confirm that I was alone, I went to get a bowl of granola and raspberries. I sat there, crunching, and thinking of how I wanted to approach Koki about our relationship, and then, maybe, sex. I really liked her, so much, but I wanted to make sure I was just not a "first boyfriend" infatuation.

At 8:48, the doorbell rang, and I opened it to find a gleaming smile and bright eyes awaiting me. I chuckled and waved her in. She didn't walk in, she bounced in, and then shed her coat, tossing it on a nearby chair. She grinned, and bounced some more, nipples clearly jiggling, loose, under a cropped yellow top, that displayed her firm stomach. That stomach disappeared under the elastic band of her dark blue sweat pants. And her ponytail was full length, today.

"Now?!" she pleaded, with a squeal, even higher than her high voice.

"Uh...sure...now." I didn't have any further time to consider what she was referring to, before she bounced in front of me, rose on her toes, wrapped her arms around my neck, pressed her body against me, locked her lips to mine, and gave my mouth that oh-so-contented sighing hum of hers.

Her enthusiasm and lips -- hell, the feel of her whole body - was delightful and my manhood made its entrance. She pulled back, giggling, "Is that what I think, down there."

"Yes, my sexy lady."

"Joy! I get to learn about sex today!"

"WHOA!" my mind yelled, and then my body took a moment to breath. I said in a forced calm voice, "Whoa there, my lovely lady."

"What is 'Whoa'?" she said eagerly, in her velvety, rich voice.

I sighed, sharply, at the distraction of explaining, "It is a word that comes from cowboys...you know cowboys?"

She nodded quickly, her face still just inches from mine.

I continued, "When cowboys want their horses to stop, they often say 'Whoa'."

She smiled at me, "You want me to stop?"

"I think we need to slow down this...eagerness. We should do some talking first. And you must have had a lot of sleep last night. You have so much energy!"

"Only slept two hours," she smiled. "I was awake last night, studying hard on the computer, and doing so much thinking."

"And what where you studying and thinking about all night?" I chuckled, brushing her nose with mine.

"Me...and you...and tomorrow!"

"What about tomorrow?" I asked.

"Any tomorrow."

I encouraged her to drop back down off of her toes, and back up a step, so my eyes could focus on her.

"I think we should go sit on the couch, to talk," I suggested, and I got a cheerful nod in reply, and then she took my hand with both of hers. "I would like something to drink. Would you..."

"Coke, please!" she said, as she happily shimmied in place, side-to-side, and her hair actually made a little "wooshes" across her clothes.

Grinning, I looked down at her hands, still holding my hand, and I shrugged. I headed for the fridge, with her in tow like a baby elephant. She finally released my hand when I offered her the can of Coke. She gave me an, "Arigatou" while giggling, and then sharply bowed, which brought her hair around her, nearly brushing the floor.

I just smiled at her for a moment, while I popped the top of an Orange Crush, and then I asked, "Are you going to be trouble today?"

"No trouble...ever!"

"I find that hard to believe!" I laughed, and put my arm around her shoulder.

Koki looked up at me, with a pouty lower lip.

I tugged her shoulder tighter against me, and she chuckled, and then let out a short sigh.

We sat on the couch, her having to move her hair first, with both of us putting one knee up, so we could face each other. "Let your words fly, my Chad!" she grinned.

I had to chuckle at that, but then I faded to a more serious look. This time it was my eyes that went down, as I concentrated on the right words. When I looked, her smile had diminished. "I find you very attractive, very fun to be with, and someone who makes me very happy..."

She smiled, tentatively, "I have learned enough English to know that next word is the 'But'."

"Yes, but," I agreed, "I am concerned that your desire for me is...well...that I am your first boyfriend, first valentine, and that once you have met other men, that then your feelings for me will be much less. And, if I have sex with you, now, that you will regret having done it with me, when you are older. Do you understand the word 'regret'?"

"Yes, I understand it, very well."

Koki smiled, in a sort of confident grin, and pulled over two coasters, and set her Coke on one of them. Then she pulled the Orange Crush from my grip, and set it on the other coaster. She stood, encouraged me to straighten the leg that was bent, then moved one of the pillows behind me, pulled my shoes off, lifted my feet onto the couch, and pushed my shoulders back, until my head was on the pillow. She looked down at my curious confusion, slipped off her shoes, straddled me, sitting on the waistband of my jeans, and then moved her hair so that it pooled on my chest, over the USU logo on my t-shirt.

I rested my hands lightly on her thighs. She gave each hand a stroke, and then leaned forward, with one hand next to my ear. I knew something was coming, but I sure, as hell, did not know what.

Looking amusingly stern, she poked a finger into my chest, below my throat, and commanded, "This is the new Kokomi speaking, and you WILL listen!"

"New?" I questioned.

She put her hand over my mouth, saying, "This will be a long story, so be patient. And, I cannot do it well in English, so I need phone to help." She pulled her phone out of her pocket, tapped it a few times, and set it on top of her hair, and therefore my chest.

(To make this easier to understand, I will not refer to the phone during this pronouncement of hers, nor the parts spoken in Japanese, unless necessary.)

"Where to start," she pondered, looking off somewhere above my head. "When I was younger - sent off to a girl's school, to be hidden away, by the woman who was supposed to be a mother to me - there were many nights I cried myself to sleep. I was scared, lonely, scorned, and unloved. Saying I was unhappy, is not close to how much despair I felt."

Tears started down her cheeks, and she wiped at them. Sniffing, and choking slightly, she spoke again, but the phone said something in Japanese, rather than English. She cleared her throat, and tried again, "I wanted to run away, and I even tried, going off into the forest. It was there that I discovered the peace of the forest, how quiet it was. My life of being ignored had been quiet, but this was very different. The forest's quiet calmed my fears and my loneliness. I saw animals, and how simple their lives were. I fell asleep with two rabbits watching me. The school found me that night, and took me back, and punished me, but that punishment was meaningless. I sneaked back to the forest, many times"

I started to speak, to sympathize, but her hand covered my mouth again, and she gave me small smile.

"From that night, whenever I felt lonely, angry, or sad, I thought of the forest and that made my brain quiet. Or, I became one of the animals, saying that the beauty of the forest was around me, as my home. I found a peace inside me. From there I began to watch the other people at school. They were like animals, sad animals, in an ugly forest, and I felt sorry for them."

"As I got older, I learned from watching human behavior, and I learned not to be made sad by it. They could act happy, but they were still to be pitied for how little they understood of their own lives, and how little control they had over their own emotions. But, I cannot deny that I longed for friends and parents. My one bright spot from early on, was that each year, my father, Taylor Timmons, would come to visit me, with a translator. He took me places, bought me clothes, food, and gifts. But most importantly, he came to see me, not ignore me. He told me to just to go along with what the school asked; to play their game. I did that, very well. I was quiet, polite, shy...invisible, but not so much an outcast anymore."

"He said when I turned 18, that he would see if he could take me away. I now had hope. I just needed to wait to graduate, and then my father would take me and love me. I was nearly 13 and knew that his next visit would be coming soon. But he did not come, not ever again. No one told me why, not even my mother. My hope lost, I fought with my mind, again, to focus on the future, when I would graduate, and I could make my life my own, free of the shame my mother and the school wanted me to wear, like crown of thorns."

The tears came stronger now, and she slipped off of me, and asked where the bathroom was, and I pointed. She was gone a moment before she came back with several tissues in hand and daubing at her eyes.

Koki put her finger to her lips to hush me, as she looked at my sad face, and as she climbed back on top of me. "Don't worry," she said, "This story has a happy ending...probably."

She continued, "So, I am 18, a few months from graduation, and with the best scores in the whole school, I will brag. Then they tell me mother has been killed in a crash. Her accounts are all frozen until the estate can be settled. The school tells me I must leave, as the money is no longer arriving. Then they tell me my father died those years ago. I already knew that my mother's father had passed years ago, and grandmother had been so sad with his death that her mind was lost. There were no aunt's or uncles. There was no one to ask, and the school was soon to push me out, whether or not I had somewhere to go."

"Then the email came to the school that the Timmons, Cal & Tricia, would take me. I had hope, even though I knew nothing about them, except that they lived in Colorado, in the USA. I was unsure how I should act, what behavior was expected. I do not speak English, but as I watch behavior, theirs and others here, I see kindness, friendliness, welcoming, and no scorn. I have hope that I can dare to consider being happy here, even though I am so ugly."

She waggled a finger in front of my face, with a warm smile, "You do not need to repeat it. I know your words, and I now believe them, or more importantly, I know that you believe them. - Only a little story is left. - Then, the Timmons get me a cell phone, though I have no one else to call. The app lets me talk and be heard, and I hear my words in English."

"Four days in this new place, and I meet a good looking man named Chad who makes my heart leap the first time I see his eyes. I do not understand my heart, but I so want to understand what it keeps calling to me. But, being ugly, I know he will not see me. Then he touches my leg, and my heart screams again, but I tell it to not be so stupid. It was just an accident."

"Then, we are alone, and he says that I am pretty. My heart stops. I think of my forest. I cannot hope such words could be true. Then he is kind, listens to me, sees me, and cares about my sadness. I grab all my courage, and put my lips on his, knowing it will be the only time. But -- and this is a good 'but' -- he stops me, holds me, and his lips do things to my body and my heart that I did not even know existed."