Journey to Year 1,000,000,000 Ch. 16

Her lips were no longer cold.

********

"Why?" Pam asked.

The crickets were the loudest thing they could hear. Creak, creak, creak, creak....

They watched Taylor, the other Taylor, and Pam, the other Pam, sitting on the front porch of the cabin they had rented. They were smiling and drinking wine as they watched the stars. In Montana it was called big sky country, and they could certainly see a lot of it.

"There's the big dipper," said other Taylor. "And there's the twins. And there's Vega."

"Um hm," said the other Pam, snuggling up against him.

"Why?" Pam asked again, as she watched the other Pam and the other Taylor. "Why is this memory so special for you? Were you declaring your love for her?"

"No," said Taylor, feeling his eyes misting up as he watched Pam, smiling, pressed against his body. "It was just such a perfect moment in time."

"Tisson Crae?" Pam asked.

"Tisson Crae for humanity." Said Taylor.

"Elaborate."

"I... by that time, I loved Pam very much. I treasured every moment I had with her," said Taylor. Creak creak creak went the crickets. He struggled to keep himself from crying.

"It was the stars," said Taylor.

"The stars," said Pam, obviously not comprehending.

"The stars," Taylor said again. "In the night sky. The sound of the crickets. The yellow and warmth and crackling of the flames in the fire pit. Pam pressed against me. Pam just smiling at me. The knowledge that she loved me, more than anything, and that we were together, and that we were the only two people for miles in any direction. It just made it all... so perfect."

"I do not kockk," said Pam.

"You... you tell me that I can't expra. That I can't even screan. In that way I cannot know Tisson Crae for the universe."

"That is so," said Pam.

"And I say to you that you, Pam, cannot expra. You cannot screan. Not when it comes to understanding love, and affection. You are the one lacking in senses," Taylor said. He looked at his other self, who had given in to impulse and desire, and was kissing Pam while hugging her tightly. The yellow reflections of the campfire played on their bodies, fondling and teasing them as they enjoyed each other's company.

Pam looked at the others with a puzzled expression, then at Taylor. Pam's face looked grim. For a moment Taylor worried that he had pushed her too far. And then he was back on the Judicator, alone.

********

"Are you starting to connect with her, Michael?" Victor asked.

"I don't know, Victor," said Taylor. "It's like there are two sides to her. When she eats with me, and sleeps with me at night, it feels like Pam. My Pam. But when we go on one of our exploration of humanity quests, into my past, I get the feeling... like I'm still being studied, by a cold, detached intelligence."

"A cold detached intelligence who has promised to eliminate us when her work is done," said Victor. "Do you feel you are making any progress?"

"That's just the thing, Victor. I do. I can see it when she smiles at me! But when I ask her about it, she always responds in the same way."

"What's that?"

"This body finds it pleasurable," said Taylor, in a dry voice. "Somehow, she had become human, but she also hasn't. It's as if only part of her is human, like a woman wearing a hand puppet. The hand puppet is one thing, but the rest of her is still something else. She may have become human, but there's another part of her that definitely isn't."

"You've got to find a way to reach her, Michael," said Taylor. "Our lives are depending on it."

"I will keep trying," said Taylor. "How are the others doing?" He spent most of his waking time with Pam, off the ship, in other planes of existence.

"Ensign Wood has taken command in your absence, as you requested. Despite the seriousness of the situation I think he enjoys being in charge of a battle cruiser, albeit one that has no crew and isn't moving," said Victor. "As for Doctor McCrae, he is resting in his quarters. He says he's catching up on his sleep so he will be wide awake and full of energy the next time we get captured and tortured by aliens."

"He's joking, right?"

"I don't think so," said Victor.

"And Vincent?"

Victors eyebrows went up. "He's basically been my only companion. He comes by and talks, once or more a day. He's really a good lad, Michael."

"Yeah," said Taylor unenthusiastically.

"Don't hold the past against him, Michael. That was nearly a billion years ago."

"It's funny, because it feels just like a few weeks ago to me," said Taylor. "And Elizabeth?"

"I don't see much of her," said Victor. "She keeps to herself."

"Should I-"

"No," said Victor, shaking his head. "I don't think that would help. Elizabeth understands, Michael. She doesn't want to, but she does. Once again, you're doing what you have to do to save us. She understands. Really, she does."

Taylor nodded, but he felt tension in his chest. He tried exhaling slowly, but it was still there.

********

The little planetoids were gone.

Back in the year 500,000,000, the United and their predecessors had built all kinds of interesting shaped planetoids, in the shapes of crescents, triangles, cubes, and other shapes.

Those were all gone now.

So were Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. Only the Earth remained, though it was all dried up, and unoccupied. When Taylor asked why the Earth was still there if no one was living there, Pam smiled and said, "For sentimental reasons", which surprised him, and made him wonder if she was making a joke.

In place of the missing planets were 17 new planets, of all different shapes and sizes. Some were big, purple gas giants. Others were small, rocky moons. When he asked for their names, he was told they had none, that they were known by "conceptual thoughts" which could not be expressed in words.

"Try me," Taylor had said.

"That one," said Pam, pointing at what looked like a rocky moon. "We call it, as best I can translate, Aren particles, Xan relationship, Four buoy, Tan Axis-"

Taylor interrupted, "All right, I see. You name them based on properties they hold in other dimensions. Properties you screan and expra, correct?"

"Correct, Captain," said Pam. "Even your limited level of understanding is most impressive."

It could have come across as a sneer. But the way Pam said it, it sounded like she was admiring him.

"Part of what we do is to expra the universe. We explore it in so many different ways. In so many different perspectives."

They zoomed in on a planet, and at the same time switched to a different dimension. It was now purple and glowing. "We might analyze its Zorens."

"Zorens?"

"You have no word for it," said Pam. "We can actually expra the Zorens as they go through their Alamite. We can Trista the arrangement of the organizing lines. We can Shursta the beauty of Tinbarshamats, as they dripple into Somisen."

"I... I don't understand."

"We can feel and experience the universe on so many different levels. We can feel the individual atoms, rubbing, bonding, creating, repelling. But atoms are just the beginning. There is more, so much more. I have not even the words for it," said Pam, and she looked a little sad.

Taylor felt sorry for her. He took her hand. "I understand."

"You do?" said Pam.

Taylor looked at the glowing purple planet. "It's beautiful. In its own way, it's beautiful. It is... shursta."

Pam brightened. "Yes, Shursta. How did you...."

"I'm not quite as backwards as you think," said Taylor. They stared at the glowing planet, in whatever dimension they were currently in. "It must be nice to share it, with someone who can appreciate it." He held her hand tightly.

"Yes," said Pam. "It can increase Formos."

"Formos?"

"You might call it... harmony, in our group." Pam said. "Anyway, that is part of our work. Observation."

"And the other part of your work?"

"Creation."

********

There was a tremendous explosion, as a galaxy was born. It spread and expanded rapidly, forming star clusters in a spiral shape.

"Is that our galaxy?"Taylor asked.

"No," said Pam. "It is one of mine."

"Yours? You create galaxies?"

"And stars, and planets, and nebula," said Pam. "I vesper them."

"That's incredible!" said Taylor.

"I do not vesper alone. We all vesper them," said Pam. "My role is specific. I was created as a diagnostic tool. To help us get closer to Tisson Crae."

"Tisson Crae."

"The way... the way things should be," said Pam. "There are an infinite number of ways to create a galaxy. We create it the way it should be."

"Should be?"

"According to Tisson Crae."

"Your standard of perfection."

"Yes."

She paused, looking at him with an unreadable expression. "The others have been requesting my return. I have unfinished work on two galaxies and three star clusters."

"You sound like a very busy diagnostic tool."

"I am," said Pam.

"Are your associates pressuring you to finish your research, so you can murder me and move on?"

"They are, Michael," said Pam.

"Then why haven't you?"

She looked away, almost evasively. "There are certain aspects of humanity I have yet to fully understand." She turned back towards him. "Are you ready to resume answering questions?"

"No," said Taylor. "You haven't shown me how you create a galaxy."

"Michael, that would take a long time."

"How long?"

"Perhaps a thousand or more of your years."

"I have time. I'm in no hurry."

And then Pam actually smiled at him!

"When you smile at me, what does that mean?" Taylor asked.

"That... that this body finds you amusing," said Pam.

"And do you?"

"No. I do not derive amusement," she said.

"Of course not," said Taylor. But he looked at her face as she said it. There was something there, just a hint of emotion. But what was the source: Pam, the human body, or Pam the diagnostic tool? It was hard to tell where one left off and the other began.

"All right," said Taylor. "If you can't show me how you create a galaxy, how about something small, like a planet? It seems to me we should be able to create a planet before lunch, right?"

Pam smiled at him again, and Taylor again felt an emotional connection.

"Well...." She said hesitantly. "On a galaxy we created some time ago, there was a problem with one of the solar systems. It was on my list of things to fix, but I haven't had the time."

"I know. I have a big list of solar systems that need fixing, and I never find the time either."

And then Pam laughed! "This... this body finds you... amusing... again. This feeling... of amusement... is it common... in your species?" She looked up at him, and Taylor was almost certain that he saw adoration in her eyes.

"Among some it is," said Taylor.

"What purpose does it serve?"

"It feels good," said Taylor. "And sometimes, it makes two people feel closer."

Pam gave him an odd stare, as if she was trying to somehow compute all this.

Suddenly, the image shifted, and they were floating around a solar system with several planets.

"This is the system that needs to be repaired," said Pam.

Taylor looked at it. There were two smaller planets closer to the sun, two gas giants, and then two smaller planets after that. "How do you know something is wrong with it?"

"I expra-ed it."

Suddenly the scene shifted. They were looking at the solar system, but from some kind of different perspective. They saw colored flows emanating from the planets; and sounds, like discordant music; and Taylor could also feel vibrations.

"There is something not quite right about this system," said Pam. "I trista it, but there is a problem. It does not Formos properly."

"Formos?"

"The celestial bodies... do not interact properly," said Pam. "There is friction, where there should be none. If nothing is done, the solar system will fail in two billion years."

"That could be a problem," said Taylor.

"I am afraid you cannot help with this, due to your inability to expra," said Pam. "Do you have the patience to wait for several moments while I try to expra a solution?"

"Of course," said Taylor.

Pam looked at the planets and the sun and fell silent.

So did Taylor. At first he looked at her. She looked so beautiful, as she always did, in her sexy fuck-cation white dress. Her look of concentration was so amusing! He always found Pam cute, in everything she did.

But then his concentration gradually turned to the planets. He didn't understand what he was seeing, of course, not the meaning of the colors, or the sounds or the vibrations. Taylor started to tune out, to relax his mind and lose focus. As he looked at one planet, however, his mind started to make an intuitive jump. He looked at one of the smaller planets, and the gas giant behind it, and then looked at it again.

"Iron," he muttered.

"What?" said Pam, immediately turning to him.

"The... the second planet. I was thinking that it could use more of an iron nickel core."

"It already has an iron nickel core," said Pam.

"A larger one," said Taylor.

Pam gave him an odd look. "I will vesper it." She focused.

Suddenly, the second planet seemed to grow larger. The outflows from it, which were orange, suddenly grew clear. The sounds from it grew more mellifluous. The vibrations from it grew more regular.

Pam gave Taylor a startled look. "How did you-"

"The gas giant, behind it," said Taylor. "Move it out another twenty million miles. And increase the helium content of the atmosphere."

Pam looked confused, but said, "I shall vesper it." She concentrated on the scene.

And suddenly, everything changed.

The outflows from each planet, which had been different colors, suddenly became the same color. All transparent, with a tinge of white-blue, like the color of water. The vibrations from each planet became uniform, in harmony with each other.

And the sounds! The sounds, which had been random before, became coordinated. It sounded like an exotic orchestra, played by instruments Taylor had never seen or heard before.

"You... you fixed it," said Pam. "How did you do that?"

"I... I don't know," said Taylor. "I just looked at it, and the thoughts just popped into my head. It seemed... the right thing to do."

"How can this be? You cannot expra; you cannot trista; you cannot shursta; you cannot even screan."

"Maybe I can," said Taylor. "When I was held prisoner by the United in the year 500,000,000, they gave me something they called an isotope. It altered me. It made me see things that the others didn't."

"Could primitive screaning give you the ability to see this? I highly doubt that," said Pam. "Taylor... what you just did totally defies explanation! Do you know how frustrating that is for a diagnosing tool?"

He could see the look of shock and admiration on her face. "Did I do well?"

"Incredibly, yes. But now I want to know how you did it."

"Some things don't have an answer," said Taylor.

"Everything has an answer," said Pam.

"Maybe, even in the year one billion, there are still some things that have no answer," said Taylor. And he held her in the arms, and she gave him the look, and he reached down and kissed her. And as he heard the music of the solar system which he had created, they pressed their lips together, and enjoyed each other.

When Taylor pulled back, he was expressionless. "How was that?"

"My... my human body enjoyed that," said Pam.

"But not you?"

"I... I am a diagnostic tool. I am not meant to feel such things," said Pam, feeling and looking flustered.

"A pity," said Taylor calmly.

"Taylor?"

"Yes?"

"There is something I must tell you," said Pam. "You, your planet, are in great danger."

*********

"The entire human race is going to be wiped out?" said Victor.

"Worse, Victor. We will never have existed," said Taylor.

"But why, Michael?"

"There's a flaw in the galaxy, Victor."

"A flaw? What flaw?"

"A flaw in its construction," said Taylor. "According to Pam, the Milky Way Galaxy will collapse upon itself and destroy itself in 40 billion years."

"And that's a flaw?"

"According to Pam, galaxies usually last at least ten times as long," said Taylor.

"That's really taking the long view," said Victor.

"So what they plan to do is to go back in time and change the way the galaxy was created."

"Can they really do that?"

Taylor remembered observing the origins of the universe. "Oh, yes, Victor, they can."

"But... if they change the way the galaxy unfolds-"

"Earth, and mankind, will never exist," said Taylor.

"But what about them? They are descended from mankind too, are they not?"

"Yes," said Taylor. "They will cease to exist as well. Not only will they cease to exist, but all the galaxies they have created will cease to exist too."

"And that doesn't bother them? That they are planning their own destruction, along with everyone else's?" Victor asked.

"They see no intrinsic value in their existence," said Taylor. "When I asked Pam about it, she shrugged and told me that while her group would cease to exist, there were other groups in the universe, doing much the same thing."

"So she doesn't mind wiping out all life in the galaxy, including her own," said Victor.

"That's how she sees it," said Taylor.

"Well, that makes worrying about the Black Box look like small change, doesn't it?" Victor said. "Not only will humanity be destroyed, but it will never have existed." He paused. "When are they going to do this?"

"A million years or so."

"A million years?"

"They're not hasty," said Taylor.

"Well... then, we've got plenty of time," said Victor. "Don't we?"

Taylor shook his head. "Victor, you're not thinking about this straight. Say somehow we get back home, to the 23rd century. Once we're back there, all time in the future will have happened, from our perspective. It will be future history."

"If that's true... then we will be wiped out, instantly. So instantly we won't know we ever existed," said Victor.

"Precisely," said Taylor. "Frankly, I'm surprised we haven't been wiped out of existence right now. If the future already exists-"

"Then maybe they decided not to destroy the galaxy," said Victor.

"Or maybe, somehow, it just hasn't happened yet. Victor, we've travelled a billion years in the future, but that doesn't make us experts on time paradoxes," said Taylor.

Victor laughed.

"What's funny?"

"Well, it's just... I thought we were just facing the end of our existence. You, me, Elizabeth, the six of us. But as it turns out there are much bigger stakes, once again," said Victor. He paused, considering. "Pam. Why did she tell you this?"

"She said she wasn't supposed to."

"But she did. What does that suggest to you?"

"That her humanity is slowly asserting itself," said Taylor.

"We can use that, Michael. Keep trying to influence her. Turn her to our side."

"Pam told me that there are over a thousand others in her group. What can one person do to help us?"

"Ask Teldoc. Or Suki Tanaka," said Victor.

********

"You let a finiteral redesign a solar system?" 49 asked.

"He assisted in it," said Pam.

"1018, I think you have been away from the group for too long," said 49. "You should rejoin, and merge, so we can Formos."

"I yearn for Formos, as you do," said Pam. "But you made me to be a research and diagnostic tool. I am performing my function. This finiteral has done a feat that we would have thought impossible. Look for yourself."