Karen's Ambush

"Shit."

"I really don't know why you thought all that was necessary Karen. I've talked to Dave a lot about this, helping him heal, at no time did he ever give me the impression he thought he was superior to you. In fact, he worshipped the ground you walked on. As for your parents, when I've spoken to them they've always given me the impression that apart from this incident, they were very proud of you."

"Yes, I know that now. I realise that most of it was in my head but it seemed so real at the time. That's what I wanted to tell Dave all along but the stubborn prick just wouldn't listen."

"So you cooked up this little scheme to make him listen to you. How was it supposed to go?"

"Well I found out where Dave was living and hired a friend of a friend to help me tie him up so he would be forced to listen. I bought some chloroform on the internet and broke into Dave's apartment. When he came in Ma...the guy, was supposed to chloroform him and help me tie him up. It turned to shit though, the chloroform didn't knock him out and he started to lash out. My hired help had to knock him out with his fist. Then we tied him up, but just after he started coming round, he had that strange fit thing. I slapped him to get him to pay attention and that was when you burst in. You will keep your promise won't you Wendy? You will tell Dave why I did it won't you?"

"Before I answer that Karen, I just wanted to ask how you think your scheme turned out."

"Well, Dave won again didn't he. I lost my job, all my friends and family deserted me and even my own kids won't even tell me when they're in town. Meanwhile Dave gets to be the victim. My reputation is in tatters, I'm damaged goods. If I ever want a date, I'll have to leave town. Dave gets women flocking to line up just on the off chance you and he split up."

"No chance of that Karen, I know gold when I see it. Now back to your question. I have no intention of telling Dave your twisted logic for destroying his life. Frankly I didn't understand a word of it and I can only see it inflicting more pain on him. Maybe one day when he is stronger, I'll trickle feed it to him, who knows."

As I was calling her a reneging bitch, I noticed she was twirling the index finger of her right hand in a circular motion while pointing it at the ceiling. The meaning of this became apparent when the door opened and the original two detectives re-entered the interview room. One walked straight to the tape recorder on the table, hit stop and retrieved both tapes.

"Well done Sergeant Dormer. An unusual tactic, but a plain confession of breaking and entering, assault, conspiracy and unlawful restraint. We'll have to see how Mr Brown goes after the operation, to see what other charges we can come up with."

"Thanks Rex. I know Dave will hate this but the only way he will ever be able to relax after this is if this mad bitch is safely behind bars."

She turned just before she got to the door.

"Karen. When you get out, please respect Dave's wish to never see you again."

I was too bewildered to even answer. Shit, was I smarter than anyone?

The end

Now lighten up.

I booked into a hotel the other day. As the receptionist was handing me the keys I commented, "I hope the porn channel is disabled."

"No it's regular porn, you sick fuck," I was stunned to hear.