Karma Served Cold

"Does, Dave know about the two of you?"

"Oh, hell no!" Nancy burst. "I never trusted that asshole, even when I believed he loved me there was always something about him..."

"So, why are you telling me?"

"Listen, Honey," Gloria began, stroking my arm comforting. "This is by no means an ultimatum... It's an offer... Me and Nancy realized one thing - we both love you. And I don't mean love in the way that she did with Dave. We adore you, and we trust you more than anyone else in our lives. Not only that but we love each other, there is no jealousy between us. Even though you are MY man and are going to marry ME, Nancy was overjoyed. She wasn't jealous even though, she loves you."

"OK... I would never betray you. Either of you. But are you asking me if you can have a side relationship with Nancy?"

"No, no, no, no ... although now that I think about it that would be fun," she beamed.

"What is this all about, then?"

Nancy approached my other side and started stroking my other arm, "Hear her out. Gloria may seem to be the most confident woman in the world but she is still that shy girl I fell in love with growing up."

"OK, I'm listening... no judgements."

"Mike, what I'm proposing might seem a bit taboo, even illegal, but we aren't going to break any laws nor live anywhere where we'll get stoned for it... But I want you to take Nancy as your second wife... I, I mean it won't be legal or anything but..."

"Wait, what?" I said, shocked.

I wasn't expecting that, at all. It came out of left field, even though looking back they were leading up to this. I walked away and sat down on the guest bed.

"Nancy is still married..." I said dumbly.

"Yes, and of course this wouldn't happen until after she divorces Dave."

"You girls sound like you've been giving this a lot of thought, this isn't something that you just came up with in the room right now. What gives?"

"You're right. We've been thinking about this for years. It all kind of started out as a game," Gloria started, looking for Nancy to continue.

"Yeah, I had been in a fight with Dave that time we were in Cancun... You remember?" Nancy said, and I nodded my head. "Well, the three of us decided to get plastered. You were already pretty tipsy when we found you at the bar with Diane. And Diane," she finished angrily. "The slut, went to 'talk' with Dave," she started mumbling, "Bitch was probably fucking him..."

"Yes well," Gloria cut in, "As she was saying, you were already pretty well into it when we started drinking. It didn't take long for us to catch up to your tipsy and for you to get plastered. You probably don't remember, but you were telling us how much you loved us and how we were the prettiest women you ever met, and... how you wished you could marry all three of us. Then - you passed out at the bar."

Nancy finally got over her anger and interjected, "The bartender said that you needed to go and they would get some people to help you to your room. We we said we'd take care of you. So we woke you up enough to stand you up. You rested your arms across our shoulders and we dragged you out to the beach. It was getting dark but they still had beach chairs out so we laid you in one so we could rest (you're pretty heavy) ..." she said and they giggled.

Gloria continued, "We each sat down and since we were a little drunk, we started joking and laughing about what you said. It started off as joking but then we were saying things like. Would it be so bad being married to the same man? Would we want to have kids with the same man? Could we be sister wives?"

Gloria signaled for Nancy to go on, "Our talk suddenly got serious, because we realized that for the most part the answer was No. Unless we somehow found the right guy... I think it was then that we realized that we BOTH were in love with you."

Gloria finished with, "Our conversation over the years has never been serious, because obviously Nancy was married and so were you. But we eventually made a pact that if we ever had the opportunity... well..."

I was gobsmacked. I didn't know what to say at first so I just started asking questions.

"OK, since you girls have been thinking about this for years, how would that even work?"

I think the fact that I didn't reject the notion outright, brightened their faces and they started talking more excitedly.

"Well, we both agreed that if we were to do this that we would live in the same house..." Gloria started.

Nancy jumped in with, "And we would take care of each other's children as if they were our own..."

They were jumping back and forth shooting ideas at me.

"And of course, we would alternate nights with you... unless you wanted us both, but we both know threesome are tiring so that's probably not going to happen very often."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! One at a time. And that's NOT what I mean... I mean legally, morally, how would we get our families on board?"

Nancy and Gloria looked at each other and Nancy spoke up, "I'll go."

"Legally, you and Gloria will be married, and I will be your mistress. I guess in a way we will have a common law marriage. Although we aren't and even can't get married, we can still sign a contract similar to a prenup where we both agree how to support each other and our children if we ever split up for any reason," she looked at Gloria to continue.

"In our society we aren't setting any precedent with this, morally it would only be objectionable because our society decided it was easier to enforce a contract between two people rather than three and have beaten people over the head with it. But religiously, there is nothing wrong with it in any religion other than someone taking a scripture out of context. But I do get the problems that can come out of polygamy, men abusing young women forcing them into servitude under the guise of marriage. Not to mention the mess our legal system would be under, so I'm no proponent of changing the laws. But our relationship is special, we three are in love. And it's not just a feeling, we know that we three are compatible. It's not about YOU, it's about us, and how the universe is telling us to be a family."

"OK, let's suppose I agree with all of your points... and I want to. But you are ignoring one crucial factor that will make me say no. How will it affect our families? Will we be shaming them, causing them to hate or despise us? I love both of you and ideally, I am on board. But I refuse to do anything that would hurt either of your families, because they are my families too. Besides, one of the reasons you LOVE me so much is BECAUSE I wouldn't hurt them. If I did, I wouldn't be any better than Dave or Diane."

They both looked at me a little sad, but I could see that they did agree with me.

"Look, our divorces are going to take a while, who knows what's going to happen in the future. Let's hope for the best and see if indeed the universe is pushing us together," I said, leaning and giving each a kiss on the cheek. "If you'd have said I'd be here having THIS conversation with you two, two days ago. I'd have thought you were daft."

"Daft?" Gloria laughed, it was a personal joke between us that I try to work in old timey references into our conversation without her knowing - she always caught me.

"Come on," I said, faking annoyance. "Let's get your things, shall we?" I said, offering Nancy my arm and Gloria the other.

******

Early January 2018

We didn't waste time seeing a lawyer, Gloria had a great lawyer on speed dial. I had to shell out some real money to get a process server to serve the divorce paperwork to Diane in Hawaii. Not only did they get her signature but they also recorded the whole encounter on video.

We lived in a community property as well as a no-fault state, so all of her assets, the house, her pension, her savings, her salary would have to be split down the middle. Even though I didn't want her money, I asked for anything and everything purely out of spite. I knew I wouldn't win, but I had a plan and I had to act like a vengeful tool... it really wasn't hard since I did want revenge.

My lawyer, Gary Kowalski, Esq assured me that he would do everything he could to expedite the divorce. He didn't think there would be any issues with my demands, I was asking a straight split of all assets and since I did the finances there weren't any secret accounts or hidden assets to contend with. I honestly would feel bad about splitting the assets, but since she so thoroughly betrayed me, my guilt was minimal. Besides, since she asked me NOT to work, and I gave up opportunities to make my own money, in a way I felt like she owed me.

The first thing I did was to bring up the prenuptial agreement. I pointed out that she tore up the contract and we signed an amendment cancelling the prenup. After he looked over the paperwork, he got concerned.

"Did you verify that this document was signed by your wife and that it was notarized by a legitimate notary?"

"No! I had no reason to believe my wife was deceiving me. She was the one that offered to cancel the prenup, I never brought it up..."

"I'll have to have it checked out, if all of our ducks aren't lined up correctly, a judge could throw this out."

My lawyer put a freeze on Diane's assets, which forced her lawyers to expedite the court case. Ted had his lawyers represent her and they somehow finagled a court date in two weeks. During our first meeting with the judge, she didn't even bother showing up to court. Apparently, she couldn't face anyone and was still holed up in Hawaii with Dave.

Diane was Ted's daughter, so I wasn't offended by him helping with her legal defense. However, when he blatantly lied in court disputing the validity of the cancellation of the prenup, I was livid. His lawyers brought in all kinds of experts disputing Diane's signature, and he even testified that he witnessed me turning down the cancelation when Diane offered it to me.

"Obviously," he said, that's was why it never got filed with the court."

It became a case of he said she said, but the judge was favoring me. I think the fact that Diane didn't bother to come to court to testify on her own behalf swayed him.

Ted knew he was going to lose this one and looked crestfallen, but I had other ideas and my plan hinged on losing this battle. I wasn't expecting the judge to be so favorable.

"Your honor, if I may address the court?" I asked.

Gary tried his best to shut me up but I let him know that I knew what I was doing and this was part of a bigger plan.

"Go ahead," the judge replied.

"Your honor, I would like to drop the dispute on the cancellation of the prenup. On the condition that the prenup be held binding, now and in the future. I kind of expected this kind of deception your honor so I had my lawyer draw up a second proposal on the division of assets that follows the prenuptial to the letter, with the exception of my gym... I would like to keep my gym. I agree to let her have all assets that are in her name, and I want her to sign a document that gives up any interest in my partnership, and any intellectual property that I may have under my name during the marriage. Other than that, your honor, she can keep everything, all of the checking, savings, retirement accounts, the house, the cars and the vacation home," I said grimly. "All I ask is this case be expedited... Diane will need to sign the documents and file them with the court in three days or I will rescind my offer..."

"Counselor?" the judge asked Ted's head slimeball lawyer.

"Your honor, we'd like to look over the proposal, but if everything is in order, I'm sure we can get her to sign it."

"Sign it, fine. But she'll do so in my presence."

"Your honor, my client is out of the country..." he said.

"Hawaii is still in this country your honor and she was supposed to be back a week ago," I corrected.

"I don't give a rat's ass where she is, if I don't see her in court in three days, not only will this agreement expire, but I'll give him ALL of her assets too! Adjourned!" he said before the slimeball could protest.

"What was THAT all about?" Gary demanded.

"Look Gary, not only do I NOT want to fight the amendment, I want her to sign documents stating that she and I agree that the prenup is binding, I do not want her to be able to come back later and state that we rescinded it, even though we did."

He looked at me as if I had a screw loose.

"OK, Mike, but just make sure you fully disclose all of your assets, if you are hiding anything and don't disclose it, she can come back and declare fraud."

"Don't worry Gary, all the assets I want to protect are listed."

As we were exiting the court, I ran into Ted out in the hallway.

"I'm glad to see you come to your senses, Boy!" he said smugly.

"Daddy! How could you?" Gloria exclaimed.

"Don't let them entrap you Ted, remember what we talked about," Slimeball advised.

"You think she is trying to get a confession out of him?" I said. "All I had to do was show the judge this video..." I said, holding up my phone and pressing play. "As you can see, this video shows him perjuring himself...The only reason I didn't show it to the judge is for Mom's sake... I'm not going to be the one to send him to jail... even if he is a lying, backstabbing, thief!"

After they watched the damning video which disputed everything he testified to, Ted looked green and became apologetic.

*******

Mid 2011, sometime between year 1 and 2 of my marriage to Diane:

Maybe, the relationship that I had with Gloria seems too good to be true, but the truth is that Gloria and I have been in love for years now. It all started when I became a stay-at-home husband.

Gloria, unlike Diane, didn't try for a career in business. She was an artist. And being one year younger than Diane, she had just recently graduated UCLA with a BA in art. Although she was a trust fund kid, she actually had a work ethic. However, there wasn't much money to be made as an artist, (they don't call them starving artist for nothing). She wanted to be a contributing member of society, so besides the artist studio where she did her sculptures and paintings, she decided to work for her father in one of the struggling charities he started up that she believed in. He modeled it after Caterina's Club, which helped single parents get out of poverty. It focused on helping single mothers caught in cycles of poverty to break them out, and get them more permanent job and homes, provide child care, jobs and help feed their kids.

The problem was she knew next to nothing about running a business; the problem being that running a charity IS running a business. Gloria barely knew me at the time, we only saw each other during holidays for the most part. Early in my marriage, she was still in school and I was working my ass off, so we rarely had time to hang out.

It was Diane, the new CEO and business major, that Gloria went to for advice. And Gloria, rather than give her bad advice suggested that she call me, after all, it was ME that SHE went to for business advice. So, to my surprise I got a call from Gloria asking for help.

"Hey Gloria. How are you?"

"Hey Mike, I have a BIG favor to ask... I don't know if you know but I recently took over Meals for Angels, one of my father's charities. I am supposed to be the logistics leader here but I have no idea what I'm doing. I tried calling Diane, but she told me that she didn't have time but that you might be able to help me... Please, please, please," she begged.

"Not a problem, Gloria. Anything for family," I said, and under my breath I said "Anything for you." Silence. Shit she heard. "Ha, ha, ha!" I said quickly covering my tracks.

"When would you be available?" she said, in a still pleading voice.

"I have time today, I could come over right now if you need me."

"Yay! Let me give you the address."

I arrived at the warehouse/office building of the charity, located in Long Beach. The warehouse stored tons of food and school supplies and had a large kitchen and offices inside. I walked in the through the loading dock and the first thing I noticed was people sitting around and chatting. Maybe they were on a break but my impressions were that they might be sitting around with nothing to do.

"Mike! Thank God you are here!" Gloria said, running up to me and hugging me to her.

I almost didn't recognize Gloria, she was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and very little make up. She looked shorter without high heels on, it was the first time I had seen her in flats. It was far from the sexy holiday outfits I was used to seeing her in, but man, she still looked good to me. Makeup or not, slinky outfit or work attire, Gloria's beauty outshone whatever situation she was in. She was one of those women that could make a burlap bag look sexy.

"Wow, you look great!" I blurted. "Umm, I mean... You're welcome. Why don't you show me what you got?"

She blushed a little at the double-entendre before I realized what I said, but I decided to just move on rather than trade awkward outbursts.

"Yes, well. Let me give you a tour."

The place was divided into three sections, a warehouse, offices and industrial kitchen. The warehouse made up half the building, and the offices took up two floors on the other half; part of the first-floor offices consisted of a huge kitchen.

There were supposed to be volunteers helping with the marketing, and day to day office stuff, but a lot of them left when the last CEO left. Although, saying that he left is putting it nicely, he was allowed to quit after he was caught embezzling from the charity. Why not fire him and have him arrested? The bad publicity would have ruined the charity's reputation, no one wants to donate to a charity that is corrupt. However, Ted did force the ex-CEO to pay back everything; even forcing the sale of his house and liquidation of his assets to stay out of jail.

The first thing I did was to call everyone out to the warehouse for a quick pow-wow. Then I went around to everyone and asked them their names, nothing else. After they said who they were, I just sat there for 30 seconds, then I went on to the next person. There was a total of 50 employees so this took almost a half hour and left everyone confused, Gloria included. Once I was done though I then started talking to everyone by name as if I knew them for year.

"Javier!" I said pointing to Javier so that he knew I was talking to him. "What is it that you do here?"

"I am a ma..."

"Ahht, let me just stop you right there. Sorry, I don't want your job title, if I wanted that I'd look at the personnel records. No, what I want to know is what you DO here?"

"I, I don't understand..."

"Walk me through a typical day. You clock in, you grab a pallet jack and start moving pallets around... What do you DO?"

"Oh, I see..." he said, then he went on a detailed explanation about what he does on a typical day.

"Thank you, Javier. I know it was a bit embarrassing to go first but now everyone here knows what I'm going to ask them and how to answer. Give Javier a round of applause everyone."

On and on it continued until finally I interviewed everyone that was there that day. I was starting to get a good picture of what went on and how things needed to be run. After everyone had their say, I broke up the pow-wow, and let them get back to work. I needed to review the books and day to day operations. The back room needed to be fixed first and it was missing its leader.

The logistics for the backroom quit when he got a better job, and no one replaced him. Without the CEO to approve new hires, everything instead just slowly turned chaotic. Gloria did a good job of taking control of the payroll and getting everyone paid so they still had what was left of the staff. However, the warehouse was a mess, there were pallets of food stacked way too high, not to mention all of the OSHA violations. If it was inspected, they'd shut it down for sure.