Kate and Hal in an Empty Nest

Only when they were back in the nest did they resume fully their mid-forties selves.

Hal settled onto the sofa, and picked up the remote.

Kate joined him, and nestled close.

Hal put down the remote.

"That was fun," she said, as a neutral statement of fact.

He firmed up his arm around her shoulders. "But it's over?"

She looked at him with a smile. "I'm glad we did it. But it was like planning an amphibious assault. I had to keep up the role-play the whole time, while thinking three steps ahead, with backups if something fell through. To be honest, I'd just as soon not try anything like that again."

"No need for it."

Kate reached to hug around his chest. "It's nice, being in bed together, knowing we can do whatever we like. That may be why it isn't, um, as exciting now." Then she frowned a bit. "Is there something wrong with my oral?"

He gulped in shock. "What? No! Of course not!"

"You don't want me to finish you that way."

"Sure I do!"

"Only when I'm menstruating. And I can't enjoy anything then. Blowing while bleeding is just another housework chore." She got a bit sinuous as she leaned closer. "So maybe you've never had my very best."

"It's great, believe me. Only, the main event is always so much better."

"I can't really take pride in how we fuck. Kegels, after Kevin was born, did good things for my pussy. But a fellatrix can demonstrate true artistry when she sucks a guy, and leaves behind a helpless lump."

"So this is a competitive sport? Who else would blow me? Where are the spectators?"

"Come on, I've seen your smug looks when you eat me out."

Hal decided he should do a better job of hiding how he felt, during his internal Being-A-Man monologues. "I'll definitely make time for you to demonstrate your finest artistry."

"I'll stock up on mouthwash," she said. "Anyway, today we learned that the impulse stuff, the stunts to make it seem risky, can kick-start the sex, and make it more likely to end well."

"Does this mean," said Hal slowly, "that this only works if the stunts are always more extreme?"

"I don't know," she said. "You may have to take over, cooking up impulses. Then I'll be the one who's surprised, or off guard."

***

In 2013, at Hal's sister's wedding reception, the DJ cranked out up-tempo music expected by their age group. After the slow-dance for the bride and groom, however, there were a few more touch-dance numbers. Kate and Hal were mainly indifferent to them. This kind of dancing was never part of their own romance. Besides, eight-year-old Kevin always needed at least partial attention, and table-hopping relatives brought them into conversations they generally found more interesting than sappy romantic songs.

But Hal's aunt Tilda, also at their table of eight, asked Kevin, "Have you ever seen your Mom and Dad dance?"

Looking confused, Kevin said, "No."

Uncle Ray chimed in with, "Wow, wouldn't that be weird?"

Ray had always known how to get on Kevin's trouble/fun side. "Yeah!" said Kevin with a grin.

Tilda told Hal, "We'll watch him."

Hal glared at his uncle and aunt, while Kate muttered, "Let's get it over with."

Yet once they were on the dance floor, they found themselves easing into the rhythm together. They later attributed this to the clothes they almost never wore. Hal's blue-gray suit, and Kate's dark green dress, made their bodies adapt to the situation. They did more than sway from foot to foot.

As a couple, they were not the physical contrast they sometimes appeared to be. She was, in fact, only four inches shorter than he, and her heels cut the difference to less than three. But his frame was definitely broader than hers, and sometimes she liked the sensation of his bulk seeming to protect her.

This time, with the DJ having unearthed Little Anthony and the Imperials' version of "I Only Have Eyes for You," dancing with Hal started to turn Kate on, which in this setting made her very uncomfortable. This was an event in which she and Hal had expected to be no more than parents with their child.

They still danced through the whole number.

Late that night, in the hotel room of the whole three-person family, the adults whispered while their son slept.

"Not here!" she hissed. "He's six feet away!"

"Just fingers--"

"No!"

"Then how can we--"

She slid out from the covers and paced quickly to the bathroom.

When she returned to the bed, he traveled the same route.

Kevin slept through.

Their next session of what they considered real sex occurred on the following Wednesday, two hours after Kevin was definitely asleep in his own room.

While it was a relief, they didn't enjoy it very much. The opportunity seemed to them less like a benefit than an obligation.

They never spoke, then or later, of what they had done in the hotel bathroom. Nor of the knowledge that each had now been sexually satisfied without the spouse's participation.

***

It was one those days when they both worked at home. They had agreed that they would maintain their workday routine the way it was before Kevin left, and not introduce impulse. The routine called for a lunch break at 1 pm, as long as neither was video-conferencing then. With both of them 'free,' they departed their home offices (hers in the spare bedroom, his in the basement) and met as usual in the kitchen. Kate was already making coffee when Hal arrived.

"The way I see it," he said, looking at some handwritten notes, "this is roughly the fourth generation of the sexual revolution in this country. You and I participated mainly during the third."

She gave him a sour look. "You've had a lot of free time today, eh?"

His smile was a bit sheepish. "A few isolated moments." He decided not to remind her that she had tasked him to find new sex excursions.

"Must be nice," she grumbled, filling her mug with fresh java.

Hal waited a moment, to be receptive if Kate needed to vent about her workday thus far. But she said no more, and opened the fridge. So he started describing his 'research,' accepting that she might ignore it.

"Recreational sex has existed forever," he said, bringing his own mug to the coffee maker, "but there were huge social and medical impediments until after World War II. Then, penicillin became common, and after that, there was hormonal birth control. These were part of the background by the time our parents' generation entered the game, for phase two."

Hal got a glimpse of Kate's face, as she stood at the counter and made a tunafish sandwich. She didn't look angry, or even impatient. In fact, a mouth corner might have curled upward.

"As time went on," Hal continued, "people started accepting what scandalized their elders, like oral sex, and cohabiting without marriage. Our folks never admitted to things like that, but we never asked."

Kate took her coffee and sandwich to the kitchen island. "In case you haven't looked at it this way," she said, sitting on a stool at the island, "most of these culture shifts of yours grew from women gaining in control and safety. This is separate from same-sex openness, which had other causes."

Hal took a stool of his own, surprised by her contribution. "Go on."

"I'll speak from my own experience. I rebelled against my mother's 'conventional' feminism, because I didn't want to think about the chauvinistic attitudes of men I thought were hot. I used counterculture trappings to claim ground higher than hers. I had a crush on Kurt Cobain. I presented this as upholding the memory of an artist driven by society to a premature death."

Each knew that the other had a fair amount of sexual experience before they met. This had made it easier for them--not just after their Y2K fun, but during it--to share their likes and dislikes, and reach mutual satisfaction. Now, however, Hal wanted to avoid saying anything that might slut-shame Kate's past. "You're right about new things happening mainly because women allowed them. It was during our time that women, in greater numbers, went in for body adornment. Tattoos, and piercing more than ears."

She took mock-offense. "Are you jeering at me because I have nothing more than a tramp stamp above my butt?"

"I would never criticize your choices for your skin," he said, mock-placating. "I admire how you limited your expense and pain."

"Meanwhile," said Kate, "straight men didn't do much adorning, or take much initiative."

He took his turn by showing a mock scowl. "Men in my era led the charge for cunnilingus! We did that while still being masculine!"

She smirked. "Because women in my era led the charge for bisexuality. You knew it was in your best interest to munch carpets like lesbians." She took a bite of her sandwich, then licked her lips lavishly.

Hal was fairly sure that if Kate had ever tried lady fun, it was before she had hooked up with Hal. "Just because people explored more widely," he said, "and bragged about it once they were on the internet, such explorations were not mandatory. We tried anal once, you made your dislike very clear, and I was content for that episode to end."

Kate winced. "I was relieved to learn that I wasn't dating an idiot." She took a swig of coffee. "So, what are we missing these days?" Despite some discomfort at the thought, she pushed through and added, "What might our son, and his age group, be getting up to in his residence hall?"

Hal was also uneasy, but for a different reason. He hadn't mentioned open relationships, which existed in all of the generations, but apparently to a greater extent now than ever before. Hal had always been happy, being exclusive with Kate. He also had a persistent back-brain worry that if they stopped being exclusive, he might lose her. His Kate, his bright bouncy cutie, the woman who made his Being-A-Man efforts worthwhile.

Fortunately, he could mention other sex practices he had found, which were embraced by Generation Z to a greater extent than by older folks.

"Masturbation doesn't have to be a secret now," he said, "and one doesn't have to give it up--or act like it--when going steady. This may have arisen from sexting, or pandemic isolation. Someone in a bonded couple might shrug off whether the partner is having private, solo orgasms. It takes the pressure off needing to get together for sex all the time, and provide satisfaction."

Kate remembered Hal's sister's wedding. Even now, she didn't want to mention it. Instead she said, "Anything else?"

"It's commonplace now," said Hal, "for a couple to watch porn together. And, in keeping with the notion of no pressure, the viewing couple might masturbate--separately or mutually--rather than copulate."

"Really?" she said. "It's porn. The stuff that plenty of women find horrible."

He shrugged. "Maybe not so much, now. Like with DIY music, the barrier to entry for erotic video is lower these days. Anybody can make it, and find audiences that were ignored before. There's quite a lot that's respectful and sex-positive."

"I'll believe it when I see it," she said.

"Be my guest," said Hal with a grin. He gathered an apple and a banana from the fruit bowl, raised his coffee cup, and said, "Gotta get back to real work." He slid off the stool and headed for the basement.

She was intrigued by the idea, and annoyed with him from coaxing her to think about it.

***

As Kevin grew, Hal tried to decide when would be the best time to have a talk with him. In some respects, this chore would be easier for him than for his ancestors, because Kevin, like Hal before him, had access to the biological details, from sex education classes in school. Hal still worried about a conversation that would make this subject personal for Kevin. When his son was definitely in puberty, Hal forced himself into that conversation

Based on what Hal heard from his own father, and prevailing attitudes in previous generations, Hal believed that he would be the first man on his paternal line to change the script. Hal's father decreed that Hal should never indulge in self-abuse, as much as he might want to. Hal should strive to be masculine, a man who would be a good husband for the right woman, and a good father for his children. Hal could politely listen to concepts like feminism, and even sexual diversity, but his father declared that Hal must never allow these notions to affect what he must do as a man. And on his wedding night, things would just work out for Hal. His bride would know what to do, because her mother would have given her a talk like this, and she would submit herself to him.

Hal decided that he had to be proactive, reasonable, and well-informed, with a son who had access to the internet. Hal told Kevin that masturbation isn't bad, and might even be healthy, but it should be absolutely private, with thorough cleanup afterwards. He talked about hormones in both genders as bodies developed, with emotional effects as well as physical ones. Thus, Kevin should not assume that a girl's passion, and his own, is love forever--and Kevin should wait several years before trying for physical intimacy with anyone. Also, Hal urged Kevin to remember that no always means no, and only enthusiastic consent could be a yes.

Hal also said that Kevin might still be learning about himself. If Kevin learned things that made him wonder about his basic nature, Hal and Kate would still love him, and would support him however he chose to live his life.

This talk may have puzzled Kevin as much as it discomfited Hal. For a couple days after the talk, they tended to avoid each other. Kate, meanwhile, looked with approval at the written notes Hal used, and found her husband's approach to be sweet and, in the effect it had on Hal, funny. In private she teased Hal for omitting out-there practices neither she nor Hal had ever tried, like fisting, and auto-erotic asphyxiation. This set them off on raunchier conversations than they had shared in years.

And, slowly but surely, it led Kate and Hal to think about their life, in general but mostly in sexual terms, after Kevin's departure.

***

Two days after their work-at-home sex chat, Kate said at dinner, "I've done my own research. And from what I've seen, most porn is still intended for guys to get off. But I'll concede that what you said is true, up to a point.

"The porn that first showed up on the internet was pretty much the same as the porn on home video, and that was the same as the porn in the adults-only movie houses. It was sleazy, and misogynistic, even when there were so-called stories. But now there are all of these content creators. They want to make money, sure, but they present what they like to do, and they're willing to respond to what their audiences like. I don't feel awful about being turned on by what some of these creators create."

"So, what exactly has turned you on?"

Her face suddenly showed her oops! look. "Well...the performers really relate to each other. Even when they're presenting a power dynamic."

"Is that all?"

"And...the young bodies."

"Can't argue," said Hal calmly. "But what's your fantasy level, watching them? Are you satisfied looking, while touching yourself?"

It took her a few moments to find words for how she felt. "I think...my mind is addled, by the notion that so many things are possible now. Things I didn't think about, while we were actively parenting. Can I claim that I need to get used to the new reality? And get it through my head that flirting beyond wedlock would have very bad ripple effects, and remember how to say no to myself?"

His eyes widened. He hadn't asked about whether she wanted to flirt. Nor about ripple effects.

This also got through to her. She drew back, put a hand to her mouth, and said, "Oh Hal, no..."

"It's all right. I need to know this." Even as he looked away from her, his expression showed her how all-right this wasn't.

She almost said that she could enjoy touching him, while grooving on a screen full of hot male porn flesh, but she wasn't sure that would make him feel better.

Finally she said, "This is about you and me, Hal. Having fun together. You've convinced me, we can try watching porn and using manual dexterity. There are a few creator channels I like. We could subscribe to one."

"Good," he said, finding a smile for her. "Even though it was my idea?"

She sneered. "Yeah, right, I'm caving in to peer pressure." Then, seriously: "When we were young, maybe we wanted what we thought everybody else was doing. Because they were. I guess that means we were dull and unimaginative. But when I didn't like something, I dropped it. So I wasn't a complete lemming. I made decisions that were right for me. Now, I'm confident that we can try something new, and then decide if we like it."

Hal said, "Very good. But tonight, we can't be impulsive. I have a Zoom call scheduled with my parents. Their anniversary."

"That's right," she said. Then her mischief smile bloomed. "So in a few days, I'll be defenseless, and fall into your clutches."

***

When Kevin started dating, Kate and Hal did not immediately change their own habits. They stayed at home, fretting about their son, and his date, and the car he had borrowed from his parents. Soon, however, with all three family members equipped with smartphones, Hal and Kate calmed down somewhat. They stayed home when Kevin was out, but looked for more things to do away from the house when Kevin was at home, responsible for being left there alone for a few hours.

They had long enjoyed the company of their friends and neighbors, but less so as time wore on. Kate and Hal had every reason to believe that the people they knew were tiring of the sameness of Hal-and-Kate conversation, which excused Hal and Kate for feeling the same way about them. One night they found something that promised to bring them into a different social circle: A showing of short independent films at the public library, followed by an open discussion of the films.

A few of their neighbors also attended, but nearly everyone there was new to Hal and Kate. Meeting new people made for some enjoyable freshness, which interested Kate and Hal more than the films, and the talking points raised about them afterwards. It was only as the event was concluding, and the library's closing time neared, that both Hal and Kate perceived that two men, about their age, had spent a great deal of time chatting up Kate. Not about the films. About getting-acquainted topics.

Later, Hal was bemused that the men were competing with each other. Hal, the quarry's husband, had been ruled out by both men as viable competition for Kate's affection.

As soon as the car left the library parking lot, Kate said sourly, "Sure didn't expect that."

"You interested in doing that again?" asked Hal.

"Nope," she said.

Hal nodded. He said nothing about the moments when Kate seemed to like the attention.

***

Four nights after Kate's agreement to watch porn, Hal determined that the rest of the evening, and the following day, were free of schedule demands.

As dinner ended, he grinned at her and said, "Go get comfortable on the sofa."

She cocked an eyebrow. He said no more, and went to his basement office.

Moments later he brought up the monitor from his office computer. He set it on a bookcase next to the living room TV. Both screens were at about the same eye level. The monitor was not much smaller than the TV.

As he began connecting wires, and otherwise setting up the monitor to run from his tablet, Hal husband-splained to the still-silent Kate.