Katherine's Kingdom Ch. 03

"Well, what did Jessica have to say when you told her about us?" Laura asked out of the blue.

Mike, whose eyes had been directed at the many spots of mold speckling the ceiling, was caught off guard by the question and didn't have time to evasively maneuver. "Sorry, there's been too many distractions. I haven't had time to break the news."

"What are you talking about, no time? You've had three weeks! What's the matter, are you ashamed of me?" Laura crossed arms over her naked chest.

"Why would I be ashamed of you? How can you think that?"

"Well, it's just that circumstances have changed. I don't think time is a luxury either of us can afford anymore."

"What does that mean?" Mike scratched his post-coital mop of hair. "Are you leaving Winterset? Is this see you later, alligator time?"

"No, that's not it." Laura looked down at her hands, which were subconsciously fiddling with the duvet covering them. "I've just got some news for you, and am not sure how you're going to take it."

A slow, eerie sensation tingled up his spine. "What is it, sweetness?"

"I'm with child," she said simply, gauging his reaction.

Mike grunted like he'd been punched in the stomach. "It's mine?" he asked, then knew his words were a mistake when she shot him an angry look. He held his hands up in defense. "Hey, it's a legitimate question, considering that you've been with other guys. I know those weren't your fault, but still."

"Look, I'm not a slut," she said. "You've been the only one since I bailed on Dallas, and that's been going on three months now. It was definitely no immaculate conception."

"Why in God's name didn't we use protection? How stupid could I be?" Mike buried his head in hands.

"I wanted it just as much as you, maybe more." Laura rubbed his shoulder. "I thought you'd be happy about this. It'll bring us closer. We can, dare I say, become a family."

"We just met a month ago. I barely know you," he heard himself saying. The news she'd just dropped in his lap hadn't quite registered.

"Well, I know enough about you by now to want to learn all the rest," she said, lending Mike's temple a peck. "I can see it now. I'll become Mrs. Laura Montgomery, and we'll have five or six children, plus a modest little house here in town with a white picket fence and a vegetable garden in the back yard. I've always wanted to develop my green thumb."

The walls were closing in fast. Mike thought for a fleeting moment to suggest Laura get an abortion, then remembered Roe v Wade wouldn't become a thing for another eleven years. Besides, he didn't believe in what he considered a barbaric practice. "Are you positively sure you're pregnant? I mean, did you go to the doctor and have this all confirmed?"

"I had a feeling I might be, so a few weeks ago went to the hospital for a check-up and to get my urine tested. It came back positive. Do you want to see the paperwork with the results?"

Mike bit down hard on his tongue, not quite tasting blood. "No, that's all right. I believe you."

"Isn't this wonderful? I've never felt so alive. This will all work out for the best. You'll see. We'll get married, and I'll be the best wife to you. I'll cook all your meals, clean the house, and take care of our babies!"

"How many babies?" Mike asked dryly.

"I think half a dozen makes a tidy amount, don't you think? You can't expect me to be barefoot and pregnant all the time!" Laura said, laughing.

"I thought you wanted to go for your general equivalency diploma and get a degree in business management. How are you going to find time to do that as a homemaker?" He was halfheartedly grasping at straws, conveniently forgetting that most women of the early sixties didn't think it a sin to be a housewife. Most considered it an honor, in fact.

"Who has time for such nonsense anymore? Priorities have changed. If any lesson the nuns at the orphanage taught me stuck, it's that a good wife always obeys and serves her husband," Laura said, stating the words like they were gospel.

Outdated beliefs aside, Mike was worried about her sudden lack of self-confidence. The Texas native's inner strength had grown by leaps and bounds since they'd met, so why was that all suddenly down the drain because of a baby? He liked passionate, driven women, but what could he do about things now? The die had been cast. Mike couldn't undo what had already been done.

"There's no other way around it. I've got to tell Jessica about you and I now," Mike said. He rolled out of bed and began throwing on clothes.

"We shouldn't tell her about our little bundle of joy." Laura patted her flat belly fondly. "Nobody else needs to know, either, for that matter. The scandal alone would have us run out of town. That's why we should get married as soon as possible."

"Yes, of course." He was getting dizzy from how fast things were suddenly spinning.

She continued calling the shots. "It might not even hurt to be wed before Jessica is told. That way she couldn't talk you out of things at the eleventh hour."

"Yes, of course," Mike said again. The words echoed inside his head like a trick of acoustics.

Laura knelt in bed and embraced his shoulders. The duvet cascaded to a puddle around her calves. "Shall we tie the knot tomorrow, sweetheart? I hear we can get a magistrate to perform a civil ceremony at the county courthouse for practically peanuts."

"I work tomorrow. The following day would be better."

Her scorching kiss to his temple left behind uncomfortable residue, but she hardly noticed. "That idea is wonderful! It'll give me an extra day to make plans."

That'll also give me an extra day to find a way out of this mess, Mike thought. However, deep down, he knew he was beat. Laura already had a trump card in her stomach growing by the day. There was nothing to do but man up and take the bull by the horns.

It was amazing how much less red tape there was in 1962. Mike learned this two days later when he found himself with Laura fifteen miles south of Winterset in Hudson, the county seat, at its courthouse. He had donned one of Angelo Villapiano's dark hand-me-down suits for the occasion, while his bride-to-be wore a discount store cream-colored dress with pumps to match. There was no pomp, no circumstance, nor bells and whistles as Mike showed his false identification and paid twelve dollars for a marriage license in the lobby downstairs before the couple found a tiny office populated by a hawkish looking magistrate. His black robe billowed out as he stood on the opposite side of an ornately carved desk and examined the license. Then, satisfied, he picked up a weathered old Bible and motioned for them to approach.

"Do you have a ring?" he asked.

That Mike did have, courtesy of the same pawn shop he had bought Jessica's imposter band. "Here it is, Your Honor," he said, picking the jewelry from a breast pocket.

"Place it on your bride's finger and repeat after me..."

The groom listened, then slid the gold band onto Laura's fourth digit, left hand. Blood roared to his head. What they were doing was absolutely crazy. His Texas rose was in full bloom today, though, and had obviously gone through a lot of trouble to look beautiful for him. Her smile was so bright in the moment that it lit up the room. "I give this ring to you as a symbol of my love and faithfulness. It represents the commitment of both my heart and soul to you. I take thee, Laura, to be my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, till death do us part."

"Now, ma'am, take your groom's hand and repeat after me..."

Mike's heart was now so aflutter gazing into those warm, unwavering green eyes. The fact that she couldn't afford jewelry for his ring finger was the furthest thing from his mind at the moment. "I take thee, Michael, as my lawfully wedded husband, who I swear to love, honor, and obey in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, till death do us part," she said, winking at him. That was in reference to the word obey in the vows. They had discussed it prior, and he thought such an archaic term should be stricken from the final draft. Obviously, she had overruled him for some reason.

"Then, by the power vested in me by St. Croix County and the state of Wisconsin, I now pronounce you man and wife. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Montgomery," the magistrate said, shaking both their hands. He took a fountain pen from an inkwell and scribbled his signature at the bottom of the marriage license.

Laura glanced at Mike. "Well, aren't you going to kiss your new bride?"

He dry-swallowed a lump in his throat. This is real. This is happening. Despite being starstruck at the whirlwind of events, he did as she requested. "I love you, darling. You make me the happiest man on earth," he said, forcing a smile.

"You'll see, sweetheart. This may have been a shotgun wedding, but we can make it work. Keep the faith," Laura said. She took his hand, and just like that, they walked out of the courthouse a married couple.

"Now comes the hard part, telling Jessica," Mike said, dragging his feet along like they were lead weights.

"Well, there's no better time than the present," she said.

They piled into the Beetle and fired up its rear-mounted engine. Volkswagen's finest belched exhaust and sputtered to life. No cans rattled on the pavement behind them as they pulled out of the lot. No colorful streamers blew in the late June breeze. No JUST MARRIED sign hung from the rear bumper. They were Mr. and Mrs. Michael Montgomery, and that was that.

Anticipation of death is worse than death itself. Mike may have had his new bride for back-up, but the entire fifteen mile return trek to Winterset felt like a slow burn death march. He imagined Jessica tearing him limb from limb, and then...what? Where would she go? What would she do? Would his now ex-girlfriend do something stupid and self-destructive?

"Oh no, look who's here!" Mike said as they finally pulled onto Elmwood. The setting for his confessional couldn't have been worse: Jessica was in the side yard helping Antonia and Maria hang clothes to dry on the whirligig. He didn't need an audience for this, but it was too late; the three females had already spied Laura's unique avocado-colored Beetle with rust flecks puttering up to the curb. They were already glancing at its occupants with more than a little curiosity.

"You might as well rip off the bandage now." Laura patted his knee twice.

Mike closed his eyes one last time and wished everything and the world would just swallow him alive. When it didn't, he finally knew the time of reckoning had arrived. Steeling himself, he said, "Come on, let's do this before I lose my nerve."

Jessica's shin-length skirt swished about as she trotted out towards the street. "Hi, honey, where have you been all afternoon?" she asked as he exited the Beetle. Then she noticed his driving companion. "Who's your friend?"

"I'm Laura," she said, walking around the car to shake hands.

"Aren't you that lady who's always trolling around Villapiano's in the tavern most evenings looking for a gentleman caller?" Antonia asked as she bounded up with all her youthful exuberance.

"Mind your manners, young lady!" Maria said from behind the veil of her God-fearing ways. Her disapproving frown seemed to put everything and everyone into a deep freeze. "Remember the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

"Yes, mother," the teenager said. She hardly seemed contrite, though, not with the way her brown eyes rolled skyward.

"I'm pleased to meet you. I'm Jessica, Mike's significant other," she said, returning Laura's gesture. "Did you give him a ride home from some place?"

"Yeah, it was something like that," he said, looking down and kicking at the curb.

"I see you're all nicely dressed. Did you have a job interview?"

"No, we just came from the courthouse in Hudson."

"You're not in some kind of trouble, are you?" Jessica rubbed his back, trying to offer whatever support she could.

He tried to wipe away the perspiration on his forehead. "Uh, Jess, maybe you'd better sit," Mike said, barely above a mumble.

She found a nearby tire swing that Angelo had rigged up for Antonia and looked up expectantly. "What's the big news? You can tell me anything, and it'll be okay."

"I got married to Laura today in a civil ceremony. She and I are husband and wife," he said. His head couldn't help but bow in shame.

Jessica blinked a time or two to be sure she was hearing correctly. "What is this, April Fool's Day? Is this supposed to be your version of a bad joke? If so, you're not being very funny."

Antonia could only stand there with her mouth gaping open, but sure enough, Maria Villapiano, who had overheard, rushed over to stick in her two cents worth. "Cover your ears!" she said to her daughter, who mockingly did so for a moment. "Now see here, Mr. Montgomery. Angelo and I took you two into our hearth and home in good faith. You have done nothing but deceive us and take advantage of our generous Christian hospitality with these falsehoods. How dare you, sir!"

Mike hadn't intended on fighting a two-pronged battle over his infidelity, but here he was, hip-deep in damage control. "Mrs. Villapiano, when we first moved into your lovely home, we were desperate and homeless with basically no place to go. Yes, I admit that we did lie to Antonia as a means to gain food, clothing, and shelter, and there is no excuse for that. You can't deny how beneficial the arrangement has been for all involved, though. You and Mr. Villapiano have gained extra money and reliable tenants for your spare bedroom plus two hard workers that your business sorely needed."

"Money is the root of all evil, and I would hardly consider you two reliable, not when you aren't truly who you say you are," Maria said back.

"Mother, I think that tight bun in your hair is cutting off circulation to your good sense," Antonia said, suddenly breaking back into the conversation. Mrs. Villapiano, not believing her ears, now pointed venom at her offspring. Bravely, though, the younger continued. "Mike is covering for me. I knew all along that he and Jessica weren't married, but what was I supposed to do when they approached asking for help? Remember the parable about the Good Samaritan helping a badly beaten Jewish traveler? I was just following biblical example."

"Yes, but that wasn't under false pretenses."

"How do you know? Where in the gospel does it say that?"

"Don't sass me, young lady! You will just have to accept my word for it. Have you not read in the Scriptures Exodus 20:12, Honor they father and thy mother?"

"Yes, and I have also read Matthew 7:1, Judge not, lest ye be judged," Antonia said, returning serve.

Maria's eyes narrowed to slits behind the granny glasses she wore. "Go in to your room! I have half a mind to take a switch to your bottom!" This threat carried no weight behind it, of course, as Mike had never seen either parent strike the teenager. However, now that she had embarrassed her mother, Antonia offered Mike a wink before she allowed Maria to escort her towards the house. Right before they disappeared through the front door, Mrs. Villapiano turned back to the others. "Don't you three move, because I'm not through with you!"

"Now that they're gone, back to business at hand," Jessica said, leaping out of the tire swing. Nose to nose, she tried to intimidate Laura. "Listen, I don't know who you are or where you came from, but Winterset isn't big enough for the both of us. I want you out of town by sundown."

Watching westerns like San Antonio and Gunsmoke with Angelo had Jessica feeling bulletproof. However, after what Mike's new wife had experienced, a shy, redheaded wallflower qualified as comic relief. "Well then, you'd better pack your bags, buckaroo, and hit the open range, because I'm here to stay." Laura twisted her left hand in the sunlight so it gleamed off her wedding band. "Get the picture?"

It forced Jessica to take stock of the cheap band Mike had given her to lend their relationship credibility. "No wonder why I was never worth the real thing. You always had your eyes on somebody else!" Furious, she ripped it off and threw it at him.

"Please, Jess, believe me, I never intended for any of this to happen," Mike said.

She shook her head. "That's a likely story. Those types of things don't just happen by accident, you know!"

"If you must know, I'm pregnant," Laura said. "We wanted to tie the knot before I started showing. Think of the scandal an unwed mother could cause around town. Mike was just doing the honorable thing."

"Wait...you're pregnant?" This information hit her almost as hard as their marriage. "When did this happen?"

"Well, we've been seeing each other for about a month now."

"Why, that's just after we traveled back in...I mean, came to town."

Jessica's stress almost gave away the secret that she and Mike were from the twenty-first century. Eventually, he would break that news to his new bride, but now wasn't the time or place. "We met one night, and stuff just happened. You know how it goes." He knew the explanation was generic and ridiculous, but it was also the truth.

"No, actually I don't know how it goes, so why don't you tell me? Why don't you explain why I wasted two entire years of my life on you? We were supposed to be the ones who got married and had kids together, not you with some random floozy!" Jessica's digits were daggers as she pointed them dangerously close to the newlyweds' faces.

Being on the defensive had set him back on his heels, but now her verbal attack on Laura put Mike on the offensve. "She's not a floozy, okay? She's just a woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go after it. That's a mighty refreshing change in today's world." He wrapped an arm around his bride's shoulders to stamp the point, and likewise hers went around his beltline.

"Have you ever stopped to consider the consequences of your actions, though? You heard Mrs. Villapiano. They're likely to bounce us out on our ears now!"

Mike was about to respond, but then nodded back towards the front door. The family matriarch had reappeared, but this time with her husband in tow. Mr. Villapiano's red cardigan and tan khakis reminded him of Fred Rodgers from Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood for some reason, but the corncob pipe in his mouth was vintage sixties.

"Angelo, do what needs to be done!" Maria said, practically dragging the bewildered man across the yard.

"Let me get to the bottom of things, okay?" he said. Then, to Mike: "Son, my wife tells me you aren't you, or at least who you claimed to be. Would you care to explain?"

"Sir, I'm the same Michael Montgomery I've always been, although I'm afraid I may have misrepresented some facts from when we were first introduced. You see, Jessica and I were never married. Circumstances that I'd rather not get into but being what they were, saw us with no choice but to accept Antonia's generous offer of assistance. I apologize, but there really was no way around things."

Angelo looked thoughtful as he placed hands into his pockets. A pleasant aroma wafted on the wind from the vanilla flavored Sir Walter Raleigh the family patriarch had no doubt stuffed into his pipe. "Now, I'm to understand you're actually married to this other young lady?" he asked, pointing at Laura.

Mike's bride smiled and introduced herself while Mike opened the Beetle's passenger door and retrieved their marriage license. "The ink is barely dry, sir," he said.

Angelo's eyes went back and forth between them a few times. "I believe I understand what's going on here. Young lady, are you..." It was clear he wanted to say pregnant, but stopped just short.

Laura saw what he was hinting at and nodded. "Yes, I am," she said, discreetly spreading hands over her midriff.