Keego 01

Keego 01

That time when the almost bad boy crew decided to go up to the Pizza Shop to eat and continue their bickering and you tagged along even though the almost bad boy keeps you slightly off to the left, so you drove by yourself because you may or may not have been the center of the argument, right? Which, by the way, was not exactly the good ole day.

"{Bicker, bicker, it's not how we do things, Troy, bicker, finger wagging, bicker.}"

"{Bicker, bicker, I don't see the harm, Shark, bicker, finger wagging, bicker.}"

"{Bicker, bicker, everything will be unbalanced, Troy, bicker, bicker.}"

"{Bicker, bicker, Keego is right, the numbers round out, bicker, bicker.}"

LOL, that's two of the four "almost bad boys" bickering about the way things are done for their annual 4th of July holiday bike weekend to the biker resort and even though it sounds like I was in the middle of it, trust me, I wasn't in the middle of it and I wasn't getting involved!

Oh, hi, I'm Keego and I keep my hair fairly short in a boyish girl cut style with short sideburns that curl forward, in case that is of interest to you.

"Keego, I have everyone's order, so did you want your usual Greek Salad? And last time you got smooch fries instead of crinkle fries, so?"

"What, Zazie?"

"Smooth fries, Keego, I said smooth fries. Smooching is something you and I can consider later. Like when one of us greets the other at the door, so, what will be today, hmm? And by the way, everyone is talking about your obsession with "smooth" and I don't see why my name isn't at the top of the list, so."

Sorry folks, but even though this is my story, I'm not responsible for the characters that are involved in the story, so I have no explanation for our server's comments or questions. Other than I went ahead and ordered crinkle fries.

"{Bicker, bicker, well, what would be next then, Troy, bicker, finger wagging, bicker.}"

"{Bicker, bicker, it's the 21st century, Shark, bicker, finger wagging, bicker.}"

Again, I'm not responsible for the bickering characters either. Well, wait, I mean, I might be a little responsible for them, but only after they stop with all the bickering. Which they had better do before Zazie brings the food and it wouldn't have been if they would have stopped with all the bickering before Zack saw me sitting alone at my own small table off to the left. Where the almost bad boy crew likes to keep me.

"Um, listen, Keego, what's with you giving me the cold shoulder then? I mean, I don't see how we will ever sleep together for an hour if we don't smooth things out, so? And I will remind you that you're the one who is all about smoothing things and all, at least according to the grapevine, so?"

"Zack, don't make a fuss in front of my "almost" crew! But we can talk about a few things because I do like how smoothly you deliver your cheesy pickup lines, so?"

I mean, I'm pretty sure that Zack co-authored the "how to smoothly deliver cheesy pickup lines" and all so it only felt fair that I allow him to carry on and engage with me, right? Also, I'm a two pull over shirt kind of dresser, if that's of interest to you.

"And there is something that I wanted to talk to you about as well, Zack, which is part 2 of why I'm here, but the almost bad boy crew does appreciate the way Suzie prepares their food, so either sit down at my side table or scooch to the left so the guys can witness the food prep, okay?"

"Oh, and speaking of Suzie's cousin, Maki, there are a few things that myself and half of Middleton wants to know, so I have been elected to speak to you about that, but first, what the hell is up with all the other bickering then?"

"{Bicker, bicker, there will be jealously, Troy, bicker, jealously, bicker.}"

"{Bicker, bicker, Keego made a valid point, Shark, bicker, valid, bicker.}"

"{Bicker, bicker, Keego wears the wrong kind of undies, Troy, bicker, bicker.}"

I mean, folks, Shark, the somewhat appointed leader of the almost bad boys was adamant that all motorcycle ride weekends are lined up as the macho guy up front and the womenfolk on the back of the bike and that's how it's supposed to be! And Troy's bickering was the other way because his girlfriend, Maki, mysteriously came up with her very own bike in late June, hence, things will not be the way they should be according to Shark and thusly, the numbers will still be balanced out according to Troy and his bickering back.

Also, before you send me comments, I've told Shark a thousand times to stop saying womenfolk, but the best I ever get back from him is "shut it, fem boy folk" and I have given up with his politically incorrect lifestyle. But I have two deep red tips in the back of my hair, in case that's of interest to you.

"Well, you go first then, Zack because I'm convinced that your questions will be petty, while my topic is serious, so, let's hear it then. I mean, keep it smooth and all, but if you have something to ask about Maki or something, ready, set, go. Also, Zazie, you know the drill, right? I got the entire check?"

"Got it, Keego and you can drill me a couple of times a week if I get a key to your front door, so."

Nope, I had no idea what Zazie the server was eluding too, but dresser or not, you just don't say much back to a statement like that, right? I mean, I smoothly flicked a two finger salute off of my forehead, but that was about all, so.

"Keego, every time that I speak with you, it totally makes me reconsider my roomie choice. I mean, Leo won't buy me anything other than previously smashed chips. But listen, Keego and tell me true because at the end of the day, I'm "on the down low" boyfriend material, so, did you or did you not buy Maki her new 500cc motorcycle then? I mean, that's what the bickering is half about anyways, right? And it is most certainly what half of Middleton is talking about behind your back, so?"

"Zack, I did not buy Maki her new 500cc motorcycle and I wish that you and the others would stop thing that. I mean, I'm guilty as sin for accessorizing her new motorcycle with two bad ass head to toe leather riding outfits, but Maki bought the bike. Well, I mean, it's really more like one bad ass head to toe leather riding outfit and one leather Cat Woman costume, but it's kind of the same thing, so."

"Again, Keego, my roomie wouldn't even buy me one pair of socks or let me have a cat, but I believe you. I mean, accessorizing is so you, but it's not over and Shark seems to be putting his foot down about how the womenfolk must ride on the back of the bikes, which means he might fight to keep Mika from riding solo. In a bad ass head to toe leather riding suit. Also, what might happen in the near future that could make it so that you and I roomie up then, Keego, hmm? I need more of this stuff in my life."

"Zack, like I've been telling Shark for like ever to stop saying "womenfolk", especially in front of the womenfolk, so."

[From the almost bad boy crew table]

"(Giggle.)"

"Fine, but at least tell me what the private "giggling" joke is all about then. I mean, what happened at the Motorcycle Shop that needs a private "giggling" joke anyways? I mean, my roomie Leo wouldn't even tell me if the house was on fire, although I think he stand behind the tree and giggle."

"Zack, as I was saying, the numbers still round out, with just one extra bike, so I don't even know what the big deal is then. But what I do know is a big deal is how obsessed I have become with finding nail polish in same shade of mirror red as her bikes fuel tank and decking trim, so."

"Ahh, come on, Keego. Let it slip what happened when you went with Maki to the Motorcycle Shop. I mean, Leo won't even go to the "Stop & Rob" convenience store with me, so let's talk about how you and Maki ended up inside of the Motorcycle Shop and then she came out with a pretty bad ass 500cc motorcycle and a private "giggle" joke then, shall we?"

"(Giggle.)"

Oh, Zack wanted me to slip something out alright, like in the restroom, but I haven't been that way with Zack, so my first thought was to not let anything slip out. But you know us fem boy folk, right? If we know something, we have to let it slip out. I also have the luxury of wearing Denim well, if that's of interest to you.

"Alright, Zack, I'll tell you what had happened, but not because us fem boy folk have to run our traps all the time, but because of how I appreciate that you just don't quit. So, Zack, here's what had happened when Mika and I went to the Motorcycle Shop to buy her bad ass 500cc motorcycle. I mean, I went along because I thought the sales person would have one eye on Mika and the other eye on the rip off "Cha Ching" cash registerer, so I went along to do the talking because as we all know, I know what I'm talking about and I wasn't just going to let some sales guy take advantage of Maki, so."

"And? I mean, a lot of people always have one eye on Mika, so? Also, we'll talk about how you've never known what you're talking about later, Keego. And don't leave out any of the good parts with how the "giggle" joke came to be and that will be to your favor to help me finish faster when you follow me into the restroom afterwards, Keego, so?"

"I mean, Zack, everything kind of sounded like it was on the up and up with the motorcycle deal and I was fully prepared to pull at my undies waistband and fluff my hair and lean forward to wag my finger at the sales guy, but the sales guy turned out to be a sales lady, Gwen, so I crossed my arms and engaged with duck lip battle with Gwen for a few moments and then I got down to business, so."

"See, Keego? I need a roomie who knows how to properly use a pair of duck lips! I mean, my roomie Leo has this thing for serving fish with the head still on and fish lips just don't do it for me!"

"(Giggle.)"

"As I was saying, Zack, I got down to business and asked the sales lady Gwen very directly if a modern 500cc motorcycle would ride basically vibration free and smoothly because my friend Maki liked the things that were between her legs to be smooth! I mean, Maki giggled and squeezed me and whispered to me that a little vibration between her thighs would be alright, but the sales lady Gwen knew what I was talking about it and she guaranteed Maki, and I quote, "it will purr like a little kitty kat" unquote, which is why I added the Cat Woman uniform. And that's the whole private "giggle" joke, Zack, and Maki's boyfriend, Troy, later promised me that any and all vibrations between her thighs would be as smooth as possible, although he qualified that with the exception of this weekend where they might try using ribbed condoms while on the long holiday weekend at the motorcycle resort and then Maki giggled some more and you know how she dips her hair and puts a hand to mouth when she giggles, so."

"(Giggle.)"

"So, are we done with the things you that wanted to ask me about then, Zack? I mean, I had something that I wanted to speak with you about too, so????"

"Well, we seem to be bypassing if you rented Mika and Troy the top cabin at the resort, but that's okay because it will just remind me that my roomie wouldn't even make me a reservation at the fast food "Burnt Burger" drive-thru, so."

"Listen, Zack, during the commotion..."

"During the duck lip battle commotion, Keego?"

"Ahem, Zack, during all the hustling and bustling of finalizing the deal for Maki's whip ass deep mirror red 500cc motorcycle, I mean, Mel the Motorcycle Mechanic came up to the sales floor from the back and he may have expressed an interest in me, so I wanted to be on the up and up with you and let you know that, so?????"

"Oh, so you're just going to get into your issues just like that then, Keego? What happened to the good old days when bulls like me ruled the day and fem boy folk like you lowered your eyes and whimpered?"

Huh? I mean, maybe back in the day when Brie ruled the day or something, but not today!

"Zazie, check please!"

"{Bicker, bicker, is Suzie really tossing Keego's salad like that, Troy, bicker, bicker.}"

"{Bicker, bicker, Keego, we're not leaving yet, bicker, bicker, bicker.}"

Almost bad boys, right? Also, Suzie was tossing my salad so my story and the entire Pizza Shop took a pause.

"(Giggle.) Listen, Keego, this legit conversation you're trying to have with Zack isn't going anywhere, so while Suzie is causing traffic accidents on Main Street with the way she is fluffy your salad..."

[Beep, beep, crunch, screech, beep, squeal, smack, beep}

"What, Maki? I couldn't hear you from all the fender benders."

"Look, there has been some kind of mix up with our phone numbers and I think we need to fix it like now, unless you like me receiving texts that say "Keego, since you already kick started my engine..."

"Oops, Maki!"

[Slaps phone away from Maki]

"(Tee, he) it was an honest mistake, (tee, he). But that actually makes more sense now because Gwen the sales lady, who is Mel the Motorcycle Mechanic's step sister, keeps texting me and asking about some rendezvous tomorrow night with you and Troy where Gwen the sales lady will bring her vibration meter along to test...."

"Oops, Keego!"

[Slaps phone away from Keego]

[Hustle and bustle to fix phone number issues!]

[Hustle and bustle to fix texting information issues!]

"Alright, that's it! Keego, my roomie Leo keeps telling me that his phone number actually does start with a "555" exchange prefix and I want to roomie up with someone like you, pronto! I also wouldn't mind being around for this vibration verification rendezvous either, so?"

"(Giggle.)"

"Zack, shut it! I'm trying to tell you that I may have a boyfriend now, so?"

"Oh, well, Keego, um, that starts tomorrow night, so?"

Pizza delivery guys, right? They always think there is a "legit" reason to bed down with some fem boy folk before a relationship gets started! Ugh!

"Zack, that sounds legit to me! I'll ride with you for the next two hours then."

"{Bicker, bicker, that guy just won with Keego, Troy, bicker, bicker.}"

"{Bicker, bicker, there is a first time for everything, Shark, bicker, bicker.}"

"(Giggle.)"

Well, it was either stay inside of the Pizza Shop and listen to the almost bad boy crew bicker or go on a ride along with Zack and maybe learn something, so.

"Oh, so, Melrose Ave is really horny MILF Ave then, Zack?"

"Hey, I just deliver the food where the ticket says to deliver, Keego and you didn't have to follow me up to the front door, so."

"Well, I mean, Mrs. Cramer kept your entire stem deep in her mouth and throat at all times, so is that how guys like it then, Zack? I thought a little lip on tip teasing was preferred, so?"

"If you're offering up a demo, Keego, I'll tell you afterwards, so."

"Well, not tonight Zack because I'm just trying to learn a few things for my weekend alone at home with Mel the Motorcycle Mechanic, but did you have a volcano blast with every grunt at the end then, Zack?"

"If you want to find out, Keego, you had better get with it before my next two stops then, so?"

"I mean, I think it was obvious, so, I mean, do you think that my boyfriend Mel the Motorcycle Mechanic would settle for a twist of his throttle grip then, Zack?"

"Oh, I mean, Keego, hand jobs have their place, but they won't hold a bull for long, but to keep the size of the volcano blast to something a first-time fem boy folk could handle, I mean, they have their place, so."

By the way, folks, cut me some slack and worry more about my thighs and calves more than my knees. They are not as round as I would like, if that's of interest to you.

"So, after your next two horny MILF stops then, Zack?"

"No more than a dribble, Keego. I mean, maybe just a drizzle because Mrs. Founders really tips me well, but even then, you came with me tonight to practice for your upcoming home alone weekend date with Mel the Motorcycle Mechanic, so???? Also, damn it, Keego, let me be your roomie because Leo always dribbles on the smooth edge side of the toilet!"

Well, here is what I learned on my pizza delivery ride along with Zack. First, he lives more for sex than tips, but it seems like he has found a good balance with all that. Secondly, wow, how many guys would trade places with Zack in a heartbeat, right?

And thirdly, huh, Mrs. Founders took care of Zack and managed to twist my throttle all at the same time and somehow managed to contain both of our volcano blasts! Well, Zack has his normal blast and mine was more of a smooth release, but we both left fairly happy, so.

"Damn, you fem boy folk sure do taste good, sonny, but just to be clear, Mel the Motorcycle Mechanic is my son, in just case "keeping things in the family" is a problem for you, so? Also, Keego, I think your fem boy folk juice runs clear."

"Mel the Motorcycle Mechanic? I don't know any Mel the Motorcycle Mechanic! Besides, Zack is my "on the down boyfriend" now anyways, so."

"(Smooth, Keego.)"

"And let's keep things that way. I mean, I did just hand jack you into my mouth and all, so."

"(Smooth, Mrs. Founders.)"

"Well, I'm a modern dresser, Mrs. Founders and I'm okay with Zack needing a 3-way from time to time, so. I mean, this was kind of a 3-way, right?"

"(Smooth, Keego and keep talking.)"

Also, when Mrs. Founders went hand wild on me, I mean, she only needed two fingers, just in case that is something you're interested in. I don't bring much to the party.

"Well, I mean, Zack, let's see what happens this Friday night when you bring your little on the down low fem boy folk boy toy back with you then, shall we?"

"(Gulp, that's when I'm supposed to be entertaining her son, Mel the Motorcycle Mechanic, Zack!)"

"Oh, Mrs. Founders, we have a couple of logistics to work out, tee, he, but we'll out them out, so stay horny for me, okay?"

Well, I don't know what the hell Zack was thinking, but knowing Zack, he would come up with something smooth to have things work out.

End Keego 01