Keep Rolling

Hi! This is my first time in writing fictional story. I'm sorry if I have a lot of grammars and wrong term I used here, because English is not my main language but I'm trying to hone it by wiring story in English form. If you want to be my editor, feel free to send me an e-mail ^_^ -Jer

"What?" I snapped at Laurence. Frowning at me while putting a bill on the slot of the machine in front of him.

"Nothing. Something's bothering you." He said while pressing the buttons on the vendo machine.

"I just.. Uhm.. I hate socializing. I don't want to blend on this society. I feel so awkward when I talk to someone I didn't know. Making friends. I know I used to be like this, but this is different." I sighed. I watched as he bent down and picked up his can of softdrinks from the dispenser. "Geez, Laurence. I think can't do this.."

"Damn it, Jerry! I helped you to find your fortune here! Helping you to forget your past! To find people whom you can trust." He glared at me while chugging his drink down on his throat. "Okay, I know what's your fucking problem. What is your wants before you came here?"

I hate this. I want to meet people who got my back. I'm scared that I might found wrong people, I hate to be rejected a again. "I want a monstrous gaming system, explore the whole Europe, and marry some guy who really loves me for who and what I am." I confessed sincerely. Suddenly, a wave of shame washed me. Bringing back to the reality. I always thought that happy ending and happy ever after is for fictional romance stories only. There's no way it'll happen in real life. Oh yes I do believe on happy ending, but its impossible to have it.

"Now what, Mister Jerrymiah Cabungcal? You what? You want to start a new life here in America! That's it, bro! That's the idea!! That's why you are here! Why did you left Philippines then?" His voice is a little loud but not shouting at me just to catch some people's attention towards us. "Why are you here besides leaving your bitter past." He eyed me but I didn't look back.

We were walking down on the sidewalk in the busy streets of New York. Glancing and roaming my eyes to spot my ideal guy. Or should I say I'm just roaming my eyes to those people walking on their home, observing their faces. Most of them are with their family or partner and I can say that they're happy. "I already gave myself to them without giving themselves to me. I can't have their back while I gave it to them. The worst is.." I suddenly stopped. I felt my eyes burning as I remember what happened back to my country. 'Trust issues'. That why I left and to have my clean start here in America. I bow my head down, looking down on the pavement as we walk. I keep breathing deeply just to relax myself before I broke down here on public.

"I don't want to talk about it." I whisper. I don't know if he heard me or not.

"Trust issues, right? I know. I was there before they abandoned you. I brought you with me here. To start a new life. To forget them. Fuck, even your family turned their back on you." He scolded me but his voice were gentle and full of caring just like a brother when his little brother is in trouble. I can't blame him either because he was right. Its not him or my friend or even my family. Its just me. I can't accept the fact that they don't love me anymore and they disowned me.

I can't forget my old guys. Those times when I was happy with them. But something terrible happened. I'm glad that I met Laurence. Not because of him, maybe I already killed myself.

I nudged his arm. "I don't want to talk about it." I said coldy. Arriving at the front apartment where Laurence and I live together as a roommate. I entered the building and went straight to room 102 on the right side of the building. I grabbed my keys and opened the door. I went straight to my bed after dropping our stuffs we bought on the boutique shop. I decided to sleep right away just to avoid being a broke and fucked up guy.

***

"Bro, wake up!" He said at me. Violently shaking me.

"Five minutes pa, antok pa ako. (Five minutes more, I'm still sleepy.)" I mumbled at him and covered my head with my pillow and turned my back against him.

I felt his hands left on me and heard his steps walking out of my own room. I don't know how long he was gone when I startled with an annoying sound. I jumped at shock when he shouted at me using the megaphone made of rolled paper folder.

"Wake up!! We just have one hour before your first day of job!!" He shouted right at my ear.

"Putang-ina naman, Laurence. Pakyu ka! Ahh, puta sakit sa tenga ng ginawa mo gago ka. (What the fuck Laurence! Fuck you! Ahh, my ear hurts for what you did to me you sick.)" I said, growling while I glared at him while narrowing my eyes. I grabbed the pillow and threw at him. I felt my ear drum were broken as it sting too much. Because of the pain.

"What did I said? We need to practice your pronunciation, diction and accent so you can find your 'Man'. First step of getting your 'Man'. No speaking in Tagalog. Understand? And oh, thank you for your polite words you throw at me. Now get the fuck up! I alread cooked our breakfast! You shithead." He said while quoting the word 'Man'. He put his rolled paper down on the bedside table and quickly went outside the room leaving me rubbing my ear.

I stayed sitting on my bed for a while. I barely hear him shuffling around from the kitchen. Probably fixing the plates.

"Magi-isang linggo na pala nung dumating ako dito (its been almost a week since I arrive here.)" I talked to myself. "Gusto kong kalimutan ang mga taong naging dahilan ng pagiging miserable ko. Kaya ko to! Iisipin ko na lang na para akong nakikipag-chat sa Facebook. (I want to forget all of the people who makes me miserable. I can do this! I'll think that I'm chatting over on Facebook.)" Cheering myself while smiling like an idiot when the aroma of the breakfast entered the room and my stomach growled violently.

"Jerry! Drag your ass here! Come on! Its your first of work! You need to impress them!" He shouted from the kitchen. I lazily stood up and walked towards the table in the kitchen area. While I'm getting near, my mouth watered as what I saw. Fried Rice, eggs, sausage, slice of toasted bread and a two mugs of coffee. I smiled at myself and to him. Typical Filipino breakfast. Yeah, I maybe stay here for a long time but from what I saw from him is, he still appreciate for where we come from.

"Fuck you, Jerry. Talking what you desire is exempted." Snapping me from trance. I grinned at him, making a small chuckle before I take my seat as he did the same.

While we're eating our breakfast, he broke the comfortable silence that lie between the two of us..

"How old are you, Jerry?" Laurence ask with his mouth full of sausage and following it with a spoonful of fried rice.

"22, turning 23 at this coming May 11." I replied while surfing the internet on my BlackBerry without looking up at him. I went on the calendar on my phone. "Oh! Its monday." I muttered. I don't care if he heard me.

"The date today is Febraury 25, 2013." Mimicking the sound of pupils back in our country. "Yeah its monday today, genius head." This time I looked up at and saw him shooking his head slowly before he sip a generous amount of coffee from his mug.

"What time do I start?" I asked him

"8:30 A.M." He said then suddenly looked at the wall clock hanging on the living room behind my back.

I stared at him slowly wrinkling his forehead.

"What?" I said sharply while scowling at him.

He lift his wrist and glanced at his wristwatch. "Hmm, get up and go take a bath. Because. We. Are. Fucking. Late. DOUBLE TIME!!" He shouted at me and I stood up quickly and I run as I'm running for my own life to the bathroom.

***

"You okay?" He asked me as we getting nearer on the building where I will work as a regular employee here in this famous international bank.

I might inexperienced and I didn't got a college degree but I know how to do my job very well. Thanks to Laurence's friends of his. He helped me to find a job here. My jobs here is to enter the client's data into their server. No more and no less. Far from my skills I can use but still, it's a computer related stuff. In my previous job, the nature of my job is all about program errors and program troubleshooting. Computer software is my field when it comes to computer troubleshooting. Although I'm just a highschool graduate, I know a lot about decoding program files, cracking and modifying databases and configurations, a nd such stuffs that related to softwares. I used to create a cheap and low class program before and I had my job before with those things. But this time, its different.

"I'm just nervous." I said softly while looking at my lap where my hands rests.

"Just imagine that you're chatting someone over the internet. That's what you used to, right?" He asked me while focused on driving.

"Wow! You're telling me that I'm a philosoper when it comes English literacy. Nah, I suck at it." I shrugged it off, but inside of me was like a leaf shaking of because of nervousness.

"Really? But you used to write an English story before." I know he's grinning even I don't look up at him. "Jerry, you used to apply at those call center before back at Philippines. Hell, you can also pass the initial interview without dripping a single sweat.."

"But I miserably fail all the final interview." I finished his sentence. I faced him and stared at giving him the 'you're dead later' look. "Do you want me to be miserable at everything, do you?" I looked sharply at him. I am irritated, not at him but at me. I just want to curl up on the corner and just daydream like I always do. I'd rather to be alone than to be with someone else, except for Laurence.

"You are gay. Remember our local dictionary. Gay means they have a lot of friends, have an incredible ability, they're outgoing person and happy. You aren't gay when you're just moping around like someone shot your dog. But you are gay, and what gay wants? Friends, ofcourse friends lead to a romantic relationship. If you found your prince charming." I looked at him and he looked back and laughed hard like there's no tomorrow. I blushed deeply. I'm gay but I'm getting embarassed when I talk about my personal love life to everyone. "You'll be happy and I'll be happy for you too, bro." He stopped his car and faced him. Our eyes met and he continued what he is saying. "And make a new friends, go get your man somewhere else." He sighed and his face gotten serious. "I love you, Jerry. I don't want you to sit alone on our place and weep around because your family and your friends abandoned you. Now go." He shove me with a little force.

I jumped out of the car and shouted at me. "Quick tutorial, say hi and smile always and be polite whoever you meet. Now I'll pick you up, same spot, later between 5 P.M. to 5:30 P.M." He peeked at the passenger window and smiled at him. No matter how rude I am towards to him, he still treasure me as his friend, he treated me like a little brother. I can't help but to smile back at him.

"Thank you Laurence. Take care bro." I wave at him gesturing shoo and I heard him chuckle before he drove off. As I walked to the main glass entrance door, I was thankful that I found Laurence, that he was my friend. I straightened my clothes. I decided to wear a nice but not elegant blue shirt with 'Demons hates you because you are hotter than hell' text on the front, earth colored jeans and a sporty looking rubber shoes. I don't have my suit or something fancy something that fits on my job. I haven't gotten all of my stuff before I flew here. And I don't want to ask some money to Laurence and I don't know what is the proper attire so my clothes I wear right now is much better.

I entered the reception area and went to the counter. A lady who stationed there greeted me with her warmest smile.

"Good morning, sir!"

"Uhm, good morning. I am the new employee here. He said that I need to be here before 9 for my orientation." I can't keep my voice calm as I have my first casual conversation with this stranger. My voice squiver lightly.

"Oh, you must be Jerrymiah Cabungcal. In your application letter, it says that you're Filipino. Not an American." She ask me while her eyes are moving across the application letter I sent to them 4 days after I got here.

"Yes." I said under my breath. My whole body is shaking because of my nervousness. I keep swallowing periodical. My eyes roam on the place but not focusing on the decors the filled the room.

"Don't be nervous, Jerry? It says that your nick is Jerry. Maybe I can call you in your nick Jerry." She lift her head and smiled at me.

I nodded at her and smiled awkwardly. Some of my nervousness left me but I kept my hand stuffed at the pocket of my jeans. The temperature of the room is just ok but I felt I'm in the middle of the south pole. Its freezing the hell out me.

"You just had one job before and its a software programmer. Right? Why did you left your job?"

"I-" I swallowed hardly that I doubt she heard it. "Its about personal problem." I don't know but the surroundings went blank as I answered that question.

"Oh, sorry. I guess its very personal matters of yours." She laughed awkwardly. "22 years old, just a highschool graduate." Her voice went from awkwardly calm to shock and surprise after reading my educational background.

"Yes ma'am but I am a good employee. If I had my testimonials showing that I was a good employee before, I'll show it to you ma'am." I chuckled awkwardly, wishing that the floor beneath me will open up and swallow me right away, right here, right now. "But I added the e-mail address of the company where I work before, you can sent them some message just to be sure that I'm the most best employee in the world." I winced at that part. I don't know how that confidence dominate me for just a short of time.

I stare at the reception girl behind the counter and smiled at me. "We already did and they testified that you were one of their best employee they had."

My heart soar when she said that. I smiled at him warmly, not caring if I have a goofy smile.

"Is this the new soul already came up here in heaven that hoping we will accept him?" Sudden a voice echoed across the reception area. I turned my head around and saw him peeking his head through the door.

"Its him." She said. I returned my eyes to her and grinned at me. "Raymond will introduce you to the rest of the team."

I show my confusion on her, I decide to open my mouth to ask her name but suddenly interrupt me. "Call me Des. Welcome to your job! Raymond Gatchalian will introduce you to your new working place." She smiled at me and heart beam as I grinned back at her.

'Yes! I got my fucking job! Where's your gay god now?' I thought to myself while saying "Thank you." to her. Raymond walked where we were and Des handed something that I assumed its my application letter. He read it very briefly and I saw the corner of his lips curved into smile. He lift his eyes on the paper and turned to me.

He frowned and stared at me from toes to head. He laughed suddenly. I'm going to ask why is he laughing when he spoke that I barely understand it.

"We, employees of this company, have a proper attire. I'll make you through your first offense but I hope that next week, you'll wear the attire needed for the employees." He said at me before turning his head into Des. "Is Jen here today?" He asked her while calming himself from the burst of laughter.

In the corner of my eyes, I saw Des shows a confussion on her face. Her face darken as Raymond mentioned the name Jen.

"Why?" She asked. I felt out of place here. Then they both looked at me.

Des stood up and her eyes fixed on my shirt then giggled loudly. He turned to Des. "That's why that evil bitch we hate, hates you a lot. You're hotter than her!"

She and I laughed at his joke. Then Des crumpled a piece of paper and threw at him. "Hey! No offensive word is allowed here." She warned Raymond but her voice is stained by the laughter we had.

"Ok, enough of this. Let's get started." He invited me to begin our introduction of my working field and its properties and also my new coworker. "I'll see 'ya around, sexy." He winked at her. I smiled at myself.

'Everything will be fine. Just calm down.'

"Jerry, Pinoy, first time here in America. 22 years old, your job is to maintain our program holding our clients record running and trouble-free. Its also included the inventory program, the data of our customers, and any other stuff. A Understand?" He explained while his eyes is fixed on front of him.

"I understand sir." I gulp at the saliva on my mouth. My nervousness is attacking me again.

"May iba ka pa bang katanungan? (Do you have any questions?)" He asked me while walking on the hall while my eyes is roving on the doors which I assumed is different departments of this company.

After he asked me, I snapped my head at him and dropped my jaw.

"Bakit? (Why?)" He asked me again, he was trying to hold his laugh because I can see that his lips curved upward and his body slightly shook.

"Nothing sir. Can we move about rules and regulations?" I decided to speak in English instead of speaking in my native language. I am so eager to work my pronunciation and accent. I have the feeling that this is start of my new self.

"Bago tayo magsimula tungkol doon, ayoko na ninenerbiyos ka. (Before we start on that, I don't want you to be nervous.)" We stop in front of the door with the sign hanging on it.

Raymond Gatchalian

Human Resources

"Bakit po hindi? (Why not?)" I grinned at him very happily.

***

"Her face after reading that!!" Mark squealed then he point his finger on my shirt. Everyone laughed and I joined them too.

After my first day and meeting all the staff, they accepted me as their new friend. They also understand if some of my grammar was wrong and my accent sucks, because Raymond explained to them that I'm just a new here. I activated my attitude after meeting them.

Being funny, humorous, nosy, and expressing my true self. Although some of them doesn't like me or don't give a damn, it didn't bothered me.

"After Raymond pissing Jen off." John said. "She'll file a complain against you. And ofcourse, that complain will reach into our boss' desk and.."

"You're fired Jen! You such a slut who is hotter than my girlfriend!" I finished him, mimicking my voice into a fake deep American english accent. Everyone broke into laughter. They laughed to the point their eyes got teary.

I jumped at the honking car arriving at us.

"Oh great. My friend is here to pick me up." I mumbled to myself. I watch the car until it stopped in front of me.

The window of the front driver's door rolled down and Laurence greeted me. "How about the first day, greek babe?"

I rolled my eyes. "Great, babe." I mumbled.

"You're gay?" Ricky asked, his eyes widened.

"We knew it!" John snickered but smiling.

"Your boyfriend?" Des asked. Peeking above my shoulder while all of my new friends, John, Raymond, Hannah, Nicole, Ricky, Brian, and Lyka is glancing at us. They must be heard what we said to each other.

"Oh, when did you become hetero? I thought you were gay?" Laurence asked whilst wrinkling his forehead.

"Since you called me babe." I tried to shook his joke off to me.

"Hey lady..." Laurence called to Des.

"Don't call me lady, I have my proper name! And my name is Des. Desiree. And nope, he's not my boyfriend. He's out of my league." Des rolled her eyes.

"Because he didn't meet your requirements for your ideal boyfriend?" He asked to Des while switching his eyes time to time between to Des and me.

"No, because I'm hotter than his boyfriend and that's why I'm out of her league." I answered his question and winked at Des. Everyone said in unison 'ooohhh' then laughed.