Ken, "Cousin" Connie & Ex-Wife Brandi Pt. 01

Author's Note: During the writing of this piece the Oak Ridge Boys' song 'Trying To Love Two Women' kept running through my mind. I suspect if the reader has ever heard that song it will run through their mind, too. Their song and the song lyrics can be found on the internet.

The Story

My name is Ken, short for Kenneth. Some of my close friends and family generally call me Kenny. I was born and raised just outside a tiny little town in a deep southern state. I was raised mostly by my Mother, Caroline, and my Dad until I was about four or five years old. That was when it became my Mother only, as my Dad split from my Mother and me. After he up and left my Mother, my Dad left town and probably the state, too, for all we ever knew.

We never saw or heard from him again. We never had much even before my Dad split and after that, things got even worse. My Mother worked long, hard hours cleaning houses for different people. She did laundry and took in other people's laundry into our home. Her work just paid the rent and kept food on the table and a roof over our head for the two of us.

That same year my Mother's sister, my Aunt Emma, lost her husband in an accident on the farm where he worked. She and her daughter were in pretty much the same situation as my Mother and I were in. My Aunt Emma had one little Girl, Connie, who is a year or so younger than I am. They had about the same type of living conditions we had while her man was still alive.

After my Aunt's man died in that accident, things got worse for her and Connie, too. Aunt Emma lived in a small rent house about a half mile down the gravel road from where we lived. She had to do much the same thing that my Mom did to pay the rent and keep food on the table for the two of them, as well. The times were really hard for all of us and it sure made us understand the old saying, "Root hog or die."

We all sure had to live up to the idea of that old saying but, we survived by hard work and living very simply with very few if any extras. We sure as heck didn't have many extras of any kind most of the time. I guess that is what made us work so hard. If we hadn't worked so hard sometimes we wouldn't have had anything to eat. That brings up another old saying. "You don't work you don't eat."

With our hard times Mom and Aunt Emma decided that my Aunt Emma should move out of her house. She would move herself and Connie into our house and live with us. There was room for them even in our little house. Mom and Aunt Emma could split the rent, our food and the rest of the expenses.

Mom and Aunt Emma were very close in age and had been brought up to be close to one another by my Grandmother or Grandma as I always called her. So it made sense for them to live with us. It sure made life for all of us just a little bit more easy and a little more secure.

Aunt Emma brought what little furniture they had when she and Connie moved into our little rented house. She had moved her bed into Moms bedroom and moved Connie's bed into the bedroom that I had been sleeping in.

Those little houses that we lived in were just slap together buildings. They had good roofs and siding but, they had little or no insulation and they were hot as an oven in the summer and cold in the winter. That was especially true because there was no central heating and we didn't even know about air conditioning. When the wend blew the windows just rattled in their casements especially in the winter.

In the winter we didn't need a lot of heat. All we had was an old wood fired pot belly stove that heated most of the house. However, the two little bedrooms didn't get a lot of that heat and sometimes it got pretty chilly inside the bedrooms on some of those cold winter nights.

It was kind of strange, at first; having Connie in my bedroom even though she was sleeping in her own bed. However, we soon got used to it and we thought nothing more of it. Sometimes in the middle of the night Connie would come over to my bed and get into bed with me especially if she was cold. It was probably because she did that with her Momma before they moved into our house with us.

Then sometimes if there was a rain storm in the night with thunder and lightning, Connie would run over to my bed whimpering and crawl into bed with me. She would ask me in her tiny little voice, "Kenny, I'm scared. Can I sleep with you tonight while it's storming?"

I would always tell her, "Sure, baby. Crawl in here with me." And I would throw back the covers for her to crawl into bed with me. It was always nice to have her warm little body wiggling in my bed with me and I know that she enjoyed the warmth of my body next to hers, too, It gave her a sense of safety having someone else older than she to feel their protection -- my protection.

She wanted me to put my arms around her and hold her until the thunder storm had passed by. I kind of liked holding her like that and keeping her calm and looking out for her. Connie would kiss me and tell me, "I love you taking care of me and I love you, too, Kenny."

She was such a sweet, loving and pretty little Girl and I loved her very much, too. I always told her, "I love you, too, Connie." and I squeezed her tightly before I relaxed. When the rainstorm passed on over us, I'd send her back to get into her own bed.

That is probably why we became so close during the time that we were growing up together. Connie was always fun to have with me in my bed with her always squirming and turning and kissing me and whispering to me as only a small child does. She just seemed to think that it was play time being in bed with me.

Sometimes, I had to tell her, "Connie, it's time for us to go to sleep now, Honey."

She would always quiet down after she said in her sweet little voice, "Ok, Kenny, let's go to sleep now." I thought that was so cute she just melted my heart to hear her say that.

Since our house was not well insulated, actually it was not insulated at all, or well heated, sometimes at night Connie would crawl into my bed and sleep with me if it was unusually cold outside. And I kind of liked it; too, as I think that we were both a little warmer in one bed together under our thin covers with our thin pajamas.

It was always fun having her sleep in my bed as we would play and talk. Eventually I would wrap my arms around her and kiss her, tell her good night and we'd both drift off to sleep. Mom or Aunt Emma would find us sleeping together in the morning and get us up in the morning for us to eat breakfast.

They didn't see any harm in our sleeping together as we were way too young to even begin to think about having sex. We didn't even know anything about sex in the first place. And besides that they thought that it was really cute to find us sleeping together those mornings.

Good, God, how I loved her and her child's love for me, too. That was a children's love that would remain with both of us long after we were children and all through our adult years. However, Mom and Aunt Emma told us one day we shouldn't be sleeping with one another anymore. They didn't say why. They just told us to quit getting into bed with each other.

With Mom and Aunt Emma living in our house it was like having two mothers. They each treated us just like Connie and I were both their own children. That meant that Connie and I were raised like brother and sister and we became very close to one another, too.

We both went to the same school and I always looked out for her and protected her as best I could. Connie always looked after me as much as she could, too.

Neither Mom nor Aunt Emma ever remarried as back then most men did not want to take on the responsibility for a woman with one or more children because of the added expense that they would have to bear.

Not only that, there were not that many men with good paying jobs in the area that we grew up in. Most men had their own problems supporting themselves let alone supporting a ready made family and one or two or more young kids. Besides that Mom and Aunt Emma's opportunity to meet eligible men was very small anyway.

Connie always liked to do things with me and she would tag along with me whenever she could and if I would let her, which was a lot of the time. Even though Aunt Emma and Connie were living with us, times were still tough and money was still very tight. Mom and Aunt Emma both got some help from the state with AFDC, Aid to Families with Dependent Children. In some places it was called relief. (I think that it is now called welfare.)

We never had money for much more than just living expenses. I always tried to help out my Mom and Aunt Emma by doing odd jobs. I did jobs like chopping wood, mowing lawns, raking leaves, washing windows, hoeing gardens and anything else that would bring in a few dollars for us.

I even went wild berry picking during the season and I sold the berries door to door. Of course, I had to chop wood for us, too, for cooking and for our pot belly stove in the cold weather.

Connie many times would tag along with me and help me when I mowed lawns and raked leaves. Connie didn't like to pick blackberries because she got scratched by the briers.

Every time I would get ready to go mow a lawn or rake leaves Connie would wrap her arms around my waist and lay her head against me. Then she would look at me with those big, pretty "cow" eyes of hers and ask in her tiny little voice. "Can I come with you, Kenny? I want to help you." How could I deny such a request from such a sweet little Girl?

I would always tell her, "I'm just going to go mow a lawn or rake leaves, Connie."

She would just reply, "I'll sweep the sidewalk for you or I'll help you rake the leaves. I can rake leaves with you, Kenny." Just how could I tell her that I didn't want her help? I wouldn't do that, to such a sweet lovable little Girl, surely not in this life time.

Most of the time I'd tell her "OK, Honey you can come with me. You can come along if you do everything that I tell you to do, Ok?"

Her face and eyes would really light up with happiness, she would grab my hand and squeal to me with her cute innocent exuberance, "Yea! Come on, Kenny, let's go. I'm ready to go."

Then I always had to tell her, "Woah, wait a minute, Connie. Make sure that you go pee pee before we leave. There won't be anywhere for you to do that when we are working. You know." She raked the lawn and even swept the sidewalk for me even though the rake and the broom were just about as big as she was.

Connie always replied, "Oh, Kenny, I have already done that. I know that there isn't any place for me to do that when we leave the house." But, sometimes she really had to hurry home because she had to go pee. Just like grown women I think she had a bladder the size of a thimble.

Connie was always so proud that she helped earn the money we were paid for our work. I always gave her a little of the money for her to give to Mom or Aunt Emma. She just beamed to give her portion to her Mom or to my Mom. Mom or Aunt Emma always hugged her kissed her and told her she did a good job.

Whatever money we earned doing those jobs, I always turned that money over to my Mom. She put it into a jar that could be used for any of the four of us for something we really needed like clothes, shoes or school supplies and sometimes even groceries.

Over time the money in that jar began to grow pretty large. Many times we were really glad that we had that little stash to fall back on to help us out in a pinch when money was tighter than it normally was.

Mom and Aunt Emma would hug me and Connie and tell us how proud they were of us for helping us all out with the money we had earned. Connie was always so proud that she helped bring that money into the house. She always had to tell both of our Moms how she helped bring home the money we had earned.

Mom kept the money jar hidden from us kids but, Aunt Emma knew where Mom kept it if she really needed it for something for the family. Those were the times when Mom and Aunt Emma would hug and kiss both me and Connie for us helping the "family" out the way we did. I was always proud to help support our family and Connie was proud that she had helped me when she could.

We walked almost everywhere we went and when I got the time I liked to go hiking and exploring in the woods and around the swamp that was close to our little town. Connie really liked to tag along with me and to do the same things that I did. She really liked to go hiking in the woods with me. However, she did not really like to go into the swamp because she was always afraid of some of the wildlife that we both knew lived in the swamp.

When I saw an opossum or a snake or a snapping turtle I would always point it out and tell her, "Connie you stay clear of it now, ya hear." so, she would not get startled or scared of it or hurt by it.

I was always on the lookout for cottonmouths and I made damn sure that neither one of us got crosswise with a cottonmouth. I knew damn sure that a cotton mouth bite would kill Connie as little as she was and it would very likely kill me as well. Copperheads weren't much better either.

Mom and Aunt Emma said that they always worried about us when we went out hiking as they were afraid that we would get lost or get hurt. I told them that I would never let anything like that happen to Connie or to me either. I don't know that it ever made either one of them feel any better but, that didn't dissuade me very much. We still went hiking and into the swamp and I think that Connie kind of liked it and we both learned a lot.

There were times that we would go fishing with a line and a pole and Connie wanted to have her own fishing pole, too. But, she always wanted me to put the worm on her hook for her. She wanted me to take the fish off the hook and put them on the stringer for her. It was kind of like I was fishing with two poles with Connie just holding one of the poles for me. She was just holding the fishing pole and watching the bobber for me. Of course, I think we might have caught a little more fish that way.

She was a little bit of a "fraidy cat" in some ways as most little Girls are. But, she always liked to tell my Mom and her Mom that she caught some of the fish we brought home on the stringer. Usually the fish on the stringer were enough for us to make a mess for our supper for all of us.

And a mess of fish for supper was a welcome change of food we usually had for supper. Either Mom or Aunt Emma would roll the cleaned fish in corn meal and fry them in the frying pan in bacon grease. That fried fish was always really good eating for each of us anyway.

Both Connie and I were good students in elementary and high school. With my good grades I got a couple of college scholarships to attend the state university. My scholarships covered all four years at the university just about twenty miles away. I still had to get a part time job to help cover my meals and housing costs.

A couple of years later after Connie graduated from high school Connie got a couple of similar scholarships with her good grades to attend the state university with me. Connie had turned 18 just before she graduated from high school. So by the time she enrolled in college that next fall she was well over the age of 18. She was now a grown woman in her own eyes and in the eyes of others.

We were both so excited that she was going to be going to school on campus with me. We got a room where she could stay with me and that helped cut her costs of attending college. Both of our Mothers were so proud that their two children were going to college. That's because neither of them ever went past eighth grade in school. And I was so proud to have my cousin-sister, Connie, there with me, too.

We were forced to sleep with one another when we were in college because our room only had one double bed. We still did not have sex as it was always drilled into us that it was taboo. Then we were always cautioned about the possibility of Connie getting pregnant as well as it being taboo to have sex with my cousin-sister.

Although, it was really hard for me not to make love with her I think that Connie kind of felt the same way, too, but, we never talked about it. I always slept in my skivvies and Connie used to snicker when I got up in the morning with a stiffie showing in my skivvies.

By the time she was in college with me Connie had developed into a really good looking very shapely young woman. With her long brown hair, her dark brown eyes and her pretty face. She had a pair of voluptuous breasts and an hour glass figure that attracted many of the boys on the campus.

She had her pick of the guys that she wanted to go out with. But, when they found out that she was living with her brother, or so they thought, most of them were very hesitant to ask her out. I think that they may have been afraid of crossing onto my fighting side. Although, I never threatened any one, since there never was any need for me to threaten any one for any reason.

At the end of my four years I got my degree in Civil Engineering and received an offer of a job with a major railroad company in one of the Rocky Mountain States. My job was pretty well paid and I sent a lot of my pay home to my Mom and to Aunt Emma to help them.

They passed some of that money on to help Connie pay for her food and housing at college. Even though, she had to get a part time job to help out with her expenses like I had done. As my job responsibilities grew and my pay was increased I sent even more money home to my Mom and to Aunt Emma each month. That helped them and it helped Connie, too.

*********

I used to get a big kick out of people when they asked me what I did for a living and I always told them, "I'm a railroad engineer."

They would always reply, "Do you drive one of those 'big ole' trains."

I had to tell them, "No, I was not that kind of railroad engineer. My job as head of my department was to keep the locomotives and rolling stock in good working condition and to keep the railroad track and the right of way in good repair, too."

A lot of them seemed to be disappointed that I didn't drive one of those "big ole" locomotives. Although, those "big ole" locomotives are interesting, and exciting pieces of equipment to work on and even to ride in, I was never a railway locomotive engineer.

Just as she had done in elementary and in high school Connie really made good grades in college and when she graduated she got many good paying job offers. Like I did, she sent a portion of her pay home to my Mom and Aunt Emma. Connie met a guy at the company she worked for and they got married a year or so after she went to work for that company.

I missed her wedding because I did not have the vacation time to cover that time off and the travel distance. It was so far that the travel time each way would be at least a three days drive or more for the beat up old car I was driving. I was concerned that it wouldn't even make the trip there and back anyway.

A few months before the time that Connie got married, I met a young woman in the town where I worked and we got married. My wife, Brandi, and I had twin Boys. Interestingly enough Connie and her husband had two Girls but, her girls were not twins. Connie's oldest girl was born about a year or so after our twin Boys were born.

After her girls were born Connie went back to work and continued to work through the time her girls graduated from high school. They both were good students and both got scholarships to the state college that Connie and I had attended back home.

Connie's husband was in upper management and he had a really good paying job at the company that he and Connie both worked for. They had put a large amount of money into an education fund that would put both their girls through college. They had also funded their retirement account very well, too, and paid off the mortgage on their house.