Kevin Brown

I finally agreed to look for a place, and Zhi helped me feel my way around. As it turned out, one of the local complexes had apartments that they reserved for handicapped people. The apartments were mostly for mobility-limited persons, but the manager agreed that being blind was a handicap. She did quietly admit that having handicapped apartments available did qualify the owners for multiple tax deductions. Thank you, Congress.

When Tara finally caught up with us, she was actually glad that I had found a place to live in town. While she would have been happy to help with my transport, she lived in Rockingham and running back and forth to Wadesboro to pick me up and take me home would have been a pain.

"I'm glad that you showed up to help us out today," Tara said to Zhi. "I had no idea on how to navigate that place."

"Tara, it was my pleasure. My grandfather had very bad eyesight and I used to help him around a lot. I hope that it won't cause a problem between the two of you if I help Kevin around campus?"

"Why would that be a problem?" Tara asked.

"Aren't you, like, boyfriend and girlfriend?" Zhi asked.

"I used to be married to Tara's sister," I said.

"Besides, I would be more interested in you than Kevin," Tara said in a sultry rumble.

Zhi Fan got the hint immediately. "Well, that's very flattering, Tara."

"Relax, I've got a girlfriend already," Tara chuckled. "Can you help Kevin move a few things to his apartment? I did blow my girlfriend off, and I have to make it up to her."

"Certainly."

I did have to admit to Zhi Fan that I wasn't really looking for a girlfriend, telling her what had happened over the last few weeks. She took it in stride, saying that it would be her pleasure to help me, and it would also help her to avoid guys coming onto her at school. It was win-win for us, but I didn't know how long that would last. Sandy had already been attached to me from high school, but her constant contact with me during my recovery had reinforced her feelings. I could only wonder why she brushed me off so easily.

***

My first day at work was okay. It took some time to get my room arranged the way I like it. During my down time, I spent time feeling my way through some of the coding books, catching overflow from the other massage artists.

By the end of the week, I was kept busy with massages. I tried to take my lunch in my room to catch up on my reading, but Nadine forbade it, citing health regulations. That weekend, I moved the rest of what I thought I would need into my apartment with the help of Zhi Fan and Tara. We had a housewarming party, Zhi Fan presenting me with my first gift. It was a sticker which went over a corner of a door or on a wall, a braille message embossed on it: Home is where the heart is, even though the eyes cannot see it.

For a few hours Sunday, Zhi Fan helped me pace out the destinations I would be using most. When I asked her to set my pacer for me, she said that my phone already had those features built into it. The other feature was an earpiece that would help me count my steps with more accuracy, and to better navigate when I had to cross busy intersections.

Once I started school, I had to ask Alison to shave back my availability so that I could go to the classes I couldn't take online. I also needed time to study, and to do a little exploring of what I could feel of the internet.

My confidence was steady, except for the fact that I couldn't contact Sandy. Her phone didn't ring, and my emails went unanswered. Maybe her goodbye was really goodbye and she didn't even want to be friends anymore. Zhi Fan who let me call her Angel because the meaning of her name was actually 'angelic mortal,' took me to Raleigh on summer break to find Sandy.

We finally ended up in the personnel department, and the woman there wouldn't even tell us what building Sandy worked in. I didn't want to do it, but I had to hack the company network to find out where Sandy's office was at. I even reencoded the security latches so that Angel could get us there unimpeded.

Sandy's secretary took our appearance in stride, asking us to wait until Sandy was available. Minutes later, I heard a door open and a gasp. "Kevin?"

I chucked inside. What other blind guy would be waiting for her outside her office? "Hi, Sandy, can we talk?"

"Sam, cancel that call to security," Sandy ordered. "Who's your friend?"

"I'm Angel," she replied. "Kevin didn't feel like driving today."

"Could you give us a moment?"

"Certainly."

Sandy didn't even bother to guide me to her office, I had to follow her footsteps. She closed the door behind me and went clacking to her desk. "Please, sit down."

"A little help?" When she came up beside me, my elbow brushed her abdomen. She had a baby bump, her small frame exaggerated it. "Maybe it wasn't a good idea to come here."

"Why are you here at all?" Sandy demanded. "I asked you to call if you wanted to change, and you went back to working in a goddamn massage parlor!"

"If you would have taken my calls..."

"And you have your little friend out there guiding you around. It was pretty obvious that she's your girlfriend, she goes into your apartment and stays with you!"

"Sandy, I'm in school. Angel and I share some of the same electives. I work at the massage parlor..."

"You don't need to work at a massage parlor! Klara and Karmala gave you a hundred thousand dollars!"

"What am I supposed to do in the meantime?" I demanded. "There aren't many jobs I can do without a degree, working in your IT department requires at least a B.A. to even get the chance to submit a resume. I had to have something to do, Sandra. I had to have friends."

Sandy sighed. "I've seen the way Zhi Fan looks at you, Kevin. I know, I used to have the same look."

"Angel knows the score. I guess you forgot I was even in the game, baby and all."

"The baby's yours, Kevin. The one piece of you that I get to keep," I heard her rub her hands over her abdomen. "Please don't fight me for him."

A knock at the door interrupted my reply. "Come in," Sandy said.

"Security, ma'am. Is everything all right, Missus Neville?"

"I'm fine," Sandy said. "Kevin is my friend, my other guest is also."

I waited for the door to close before I collapsed to the floor. "Todd Neville? You married Todd? It hasn't even been that long!"

Todd would have been her obvious fallback. She had brushed him off for years because of me, even leaving college to help me out. I wasn't surprised she had married him, not surprised at all.

Sandy sat on the floor in front of me. "Kevin, I was heartbroken..."

"You never gave me a chance to explain," I shook my head. "Just one phone call, you probably didn't even read my emails."

"No, I didn't even access that account. Keeping 'kevinismycopilot' as a handle wasn't right after I decided to cut myself off from you."

"Tara was right, you didn't want to talk, you still don't. It would have been nice to know if you were still alive. When I tried calling up here, they wouldn't tell me anything about Sandy Landry." The tear I felt roll down my face was unexpected. I caught it, and put my finger in my mouth. For a second, not even half a second, I saw Sandy plain as day. "What?"

"What?" Sandy asked. "I'm crying too."

"I don't have tear ducts anymore, remember?" I stood up, Sandy standing with me. "I guess this is goodbye, Sandy. No, I won't fight you for your son."

"Kevin."

"I'd ask you to tell Todd hello for me, but it would be a good idea to not let him know I was here. The executive building is pass-only, and you need to know an executive to even think about coming in here."

"How did you get in here anyway?"

"Mad computer skills, I have a few more now. I'd say 'see you later,' but you'd know I was lying." I retraced my footsteps to the door, but Sandy got there first, blocking my hand so I couldn't find the handle. "Please move, Sandy."

"We aren't married yet, Kevin. The wedding's supposed to be three months from now, I changed the stationary and the directory now so that I didn't have to do it later."

"And so I couldn't find you," I finished. "Your servers still know who you are, but they didn't tell me that your name had changed. Still 'Sandy Landry, Suite 705, Executive Vice President of Sales and Marketing for the entire eastern seaboard.' Even if there was some way to work it out between us, and hoping that Todd didn't beat the shit out of me, your career is going stratospheric. I couldn't compete for your time, Sandy. I'll even bet your fiance has to schedule an appointment."

"Todd's in Chicago."

"And I'd never know where your heart would lie, Sandy, especially after what you just implied. You can't come back to the sticks, and I've got to finish my degree, so let's call it over, okay? I'm glad you are okay, I really am, but let me go."

Sandy pulled me into a kiss, and I had to give in to her one last time. She pulled the door open and followed me back to Angel. "Please take good care of him, Zhi Fan. God knows I didn't."

Angel and I went one way, and I heard Sandy go the other. When we got to the lobby, I was stopped by security and questioned by some nerdy-sounding kid about how I had gotten into the company network. I gave him the basics of how I had gotten inside, but I don't think he understood me. Maybe he was so engrossed with portal access that he didn't know about all the information exchanged behind the graphic interface.

When we were outside, my phone rang. Angel told me it was Sandy and opened the line before I could object. "What do you want, Sandy?" I sighed.

"Just say the word, Kevin, and I'll resign. I'll call off the engagement and move in with you, I'll stay with you and maybe we'll get married..."

"You'll resent me forever, Sandy, we won't last a year," I countered. Another tear ran down my face, and I got to see Angel for the first time. She really was an angel, with her windblown hair and narrow smile. "You've been wanting this all your life, but you never thought you'd get the chance. It was in your dreams, Sandy, flying over New York City?"

"You're right, Kevin. I'm sorry."

"Me too." I closed the call and put the phone in my pocket.

Angel didn't say anything until we were on the freeway. "What did you mean when you said 'It was in your dreams?' I know you are quite literate, so you said it that way on purpose."

"That's all you got out of that whole meeting, Angel?" I asked.

"Kevin, I'm your friend. I had the benefit of sight, so I could see Sandy's expressions when you went into her office and when you exited. I have a good idea of what transpired, and I'm not going to pick at that. The question that remains is why did you intentionally word your sentence that way?"

"Angel, something I have always been able to do is share the dream plane with whomever is in my bed with me. Sandy was a flyer, she loved to be in the air, looking down at the world. She probably has a good view of the city from the seventh floor, does she not?"

"She does," Angel admitted. "That also explains the email address. Have you done that to me?"

"We would both have to be asleep, close to one another," I replied. "Since we haven't slept together, I couldn't have seen your dream plane."

"Kevin, sometimes when I'd leave for the night after study group, I would sneak back in and watch you sleep. More than once, I have fallen asleep in that chair you have beside your bed."

I was surprised by her admission, but it explained how her scent lingered in my apartment after all other smells had faded away. "No, I still haven't seen into your dreams."

"How do you know?"

"Because when I'm sharing a dream plane with a woman, I dream in color," I replied with a smile.

Angel was silent the rest of the way home, like my revelation had creeped her out. It sounded like she wanted to say something dozens of times, that sharp intake of air before you blurt something out, but she didn't. Whatever she wanted to say, it was big, and she probably wanted us on equal footing before it would come out.

She led me to my apartment, closing and locking the door behind us. "Kevin, I'd like to share my dreams with you."

"That is the weirdest come on I have ever heard, Angel," I chuckled. "Let me get us some beers and we can sit down."

"I'll get the beers, Kevin." She went into the kitchen, returning with two bottles. "There's something that I have to tell you first."

She was going to admit that Sandy was right. "Please, go on."

"After we had hung out together a few times, I was stopped by a very strange woman. She knew that I was attracted to you, and asked me to keep watch over you when we were together, which was most of the time."

"Was she Indian?"

"No, it wasn't Karmala or Klara," Angel replied. "Actually, she's Chinese, like me. No accent, so she is at least second generation living in the United States. She said that if I needed to tell you about her, and this definitely qualifies, to tell you her name is already in your head."

"Her name is tra1nwreck. I always thought that she was a guy."

"I've heard you talk, I so wanted to tell you, Kevin. I couldn't. I had to tell you now, because I have to let my feelings for you out. I want to hold you and comfort you and make love to you, but I have to tell you about her because if you see her in my dreams you will feel betrayed. Now, this can go either way, just don't hate me."

"Come here, Angel," I held out my arms to her, indicating that I wanted her to straddle me on the couch. When she was in position, I pulled her close to me, my head in her bosom. I could hear her heart beating, beating so fast. She was scared, scared that I was going to tell her goodbye. "I hear your heart beat," I said.

"Ever since I saw you, it has beat for you," she replied. "In that moment between the time Tara told me she wasn't interested in you, and when you told me about having a broken heart, I thought I might have a chance. Being close to you all the time hasn't helped, every time you tried calling Sandy and she didn't answer I hoped you would give up. Call me greedy, but I wanted today to go like it did. Maybe that makes me a bad person."

"Would you have come clean with me if I hadn't told you about my ability to see into your dreams?" I asked. "It was either feel betrayed now or feel betrayed later."

"I don't know," Angel pushed away, but didn't get up. "What are you thinking right now?"

"Sandy was making a repeating motion with her hands when she asked you to take care of me."

Angel giggled. "She made a fist with one hand and put it into her other palm."

"Sandy would do it, too. Angel, Zhi Fan, I'd like to have a relationship with you, but I have to know I can trust you. Do you know why tra1nwreck wanted you to watch over me?"

"Gwen, that's her name, told me that her company was going to offer you a job," Angel sighed. "She also told me that there was a possibility that you could get your sight back and that if there was any way I could work that into a conversation, I should do so."

"It took a lot for you to admit that to me," I said.

"Kevin, I don't want you to see me. You wouldn't give me the time of day if you were sighted. We never would have met, you'd probably be a master hacker with blondie and have a dozen kids by now."

"Angel, first of all, Sandy was a redhead. She only bleached her hair blonde to impress her fiance. Secondly, I have already seen you, and you are beautiful."

"How?"

"One of the things the doctors told me was that my tear ducts were fused shut by the fumes. Today, I had two tears come out, the first in Sandy's office and the second was during the phone call. I could see, just for a split second. I'm glad I got to see you, with your wispy hair and little smile."

"Oh my god! I didn't even put any makeup on today!"

"Why not?"

Angel shifted so that our noses were touching. "I'm have not been looking to impress anybody but you. The money I save in the makeup department goes to fragrances, the powders and sprays I wear. I also use lotions to keep my skin smooth in preparation for that random touch you give me, when you hold my hand."

"You're serious. You've been waiting for me, knowing I might break your heart? No life at all?"

"Kevin, I've had plenty of good time with you. I'll admit...God why is this so hard? My friend Katie, she and I have fooled around. I guess Tara's attraction to me opened my eyes to the fact that Katie has been giving me the same looks."

"Oh," I said.

"Kevin, it was only fooling around. Katie knows that I carry a flame for you. Well, a torch really. To tell you the truth, she's hinted around sneaking in here, even stole my key once."

"Seriously?" I asked. That sounded like the porn Karla and I used to watch together when we were first married. "Let's just decide about us first, okay?"

I cocked my head to the side so that our lips were touching. I tasted her tears, sweet like the apple spray that she wore. She deepened the kiss, wrapping her arms around my neck and her breaths were short and full of want. I put my arms around her, feeling that she was wearing a dress and tugging on it.

Angel felt what I was doing and shifted her hips so I could pull her dress up and feel her ass. It was small, her cheeks were almost small enough to fit in my hands. I went back to pulling the dress up and she let me pull it over her head. Angel wasn't wearing a bra, so there wasn't anything to stop my hands from finding her nipples straight away. She went back to ravaging my mouth with hers while I had my fun with her breasts.

Suddenly, she dismounted me and stepped away. She went digging through her purse and pulled something out. She took my hand and pressed what felt like condom wrappers into my palm. "I hope they're not expired."

I made a swatting motion with my other hand and caught her ass, hearing a nice smacking sound as my reward. I was led into my bedroom, and Angel pushed the door closed behind us. Angel was very impatient with my clothing, and I had to help her with my shirt. She knelt before me to go to work on my pants, pulling them down to the floor along with my underwear. Her tiny hands went to my cock, the head going into her warm mouth. Her hands went around my waist as far as they could go, and she started bobbing her head on my cock.

It wasn't very long before I started to build up. I had masturbated a little, but I hadn't had a mouth or pussy on my cock in months. I tugged on her hair to warn her, and she pulled back just in time for me to start shooting my goo. I don't know where it landed, but I heard a sigh from her. She stood back up, twirled me around and pushed me back onto my bed.

My shoes were hurriedly pulled off, along with my jeans and underwear. Angel climbed onto the bed and nestled into my armpit. My hand instinctively went for her hair, which was much longer than I had seen in my vision. "You feel so good, Angel."

"I'm glad you think so, Kevin. I take it back, I wish you could see me."

"We can try a daydream," I offered. "Just close your eyes and even out your breathing."

She slowed down her breathing, and I started massaging her scalp while I did the same breathing exercise.

Angel was studying her naked body in a full-length mirror, running a brush through her jet-black hair. "Kevin, are you here with me?"

It was freaky to see her lips move with my voice. "I'm inside you, Zhi Fan."

"That's no fun at all!"

"Go up to the mirror and peel off your face."

The look on her face was priceless, but she did what I said, the frame falling away as she pulled on her reflection. "You're here. You're clothed."

"This is your dream, Zhi Fan. I'm clothed because you want me to be, I'm just here for the scenery."

Angel got the hint, and when she tugged at my shirt, it vanished. In a few seconds, we were naked and hugging each other. "Now this is a truth become dream," she said.