All Comments on 'Knox County Ch. 09'

I have to say I have really enjoyed your stories! So much more deeply and better written than a lot of others that post on this site. I loved this one and have read The Lazy Lemon Sun story and enjoyed them both very much! I am off to read your other stories now. Keep up the good work!

You managed to make me read instead of work, and now I am in trouble! But that's a compliment.

I admit to feeling sorry for Tim in a way. I think I would've like to see his come-uppance in the form of copping a beating from another husband but it does take two to tango. I'm not really sure that his character was nearly evil enough if that makes any sense to warrant his suicide, but I guess people have cracked under less.

I guess the nice part is the feeling that somehow goodness prevails, that despite our flaws we can find the courage to forgive and move on. I do think Cynthia was a bit shallow, but in all honesty her pain is incredibly realistic. Not everyone resorts to cheating but the feeling of being relegated is a lot more prevalent that people realise. I think this story is near perfect, but I think some of the conclusion jumping did weaken it a little. Aimee had evidence yet Cynthia just made assumptions. No one can be perfect but I guess for me I would like to see some themes explored where the man or woman does bring it up and the partner says they'll change but they don't or they do once or twice and it goes back to the way it as before. (I only mention it because I think you'd be the perfect author to write it.) Some people really can't change and some people's relationships are set it patterns they are unable or unwilling to change, yet they can with someone else. Hurtful, but that's life.

Again, thank you for your time and effort. This made for great reading and procrastination!

Mostly I was sorry for Jennifer and for Tim's mother.

I saw a lot of things I enjoyed, especially how David and Cynthia got back together, Sean's interest and insight into his models, and Will's interactions with Brandon.

I'm curious about a couple of things. Tim had some fucked-up ideas about sex. But I didn't see anything about where those beliefs might have come from, even when we met his mother.

Also the scene where Elizabeth asks Will for test results didn't ring true to me. According to some fiction I've read, the agency would handle any such requests. Or maybe it's the part where Elizabeth allow unprotected sex in the first place. Dunno quite what detail bothered me, but something did. That's the only part of the story that challenged my "willing suspension of disbelief".

I too noticed that the "Kick Em to the Kurb types passed over commenting on this story. Just a couple stayed with it after seeing the reconciliation early I would guess. Go figure? I did not see many comments from other writers either. Even though I personally thought the first chapters new and breathtakingly fresh, mostly because they were much more realistic and real-life than "All" the other stories on this site.

I can only guess that was the problem. They don't fit the normal structure and pattern of the "Cheating Wife" stories written. Like I have said many times, they want the fictionalized "Perfect" husband booting out the "Cum-lut described "Imperfect" woman.

I salute you for the subject matter you covered. You threw in a lot of erotic sex that did not draw too many commenters either. Too much for my taste as it got repetitive but you wrote a complete and well-written tale.

I think we need to see much more stories like this. Steele left us, but he wrote reconciliation stories as well and was well-received although most commenters moaned and groaned. Even I wasn't happy about Lew taking back Mona who continued as the slut even after their divorce, brazen enough to admit screwing 40 other men before being taken back by Lew.

This story without a lot of the erotic sex could become a published novel I think. I have read many novels because that was my hobby the first half of my life. I read anything back then. Mickey Spillane, Sea Stories, (Hornblower series)Westerns, (Zane Grey, Clancy, Luke Short, Louis Lamour) Scifi, (Isacc Isimov, Robert Heinlan, Bradbury and dozens of others.

If in fact your are an amateur, I think you could move up to publishing fiction. However, I prefer you stay here and entertain us. Thank You

Very interesting story. I was a little surprised and put off by Sean's limited ability to provide pain relief for his wife and her subsequent extreme pain and begging him to kill her. I absolutely know that Hospice is geared up to provide whatever is needed in the way of pain medication. I've lost several friends to cancer. One had an extremely painful cancer but Hospice did a wonderful job of providing pain relief and he passed away at home with his loving family and friends around him. Sean's wife should not have needed to forgive him, in my opinion.

You wove together all these characters in a captivating tale. I was so afraid you were going to have Elizabeth's last customer cycle back and inflict some sort of revenge on her. Thanks for resisting that temptation.

Like all of your pieces on Literotica, this is very well-written. Thanks for sharing.

Rhenquist:

This was excellent story, complex because of all the various characters and subplots, which you brought together in the end tieing up most loose ends, and doing so with colourful vocabulary and realistic dialogue and interaction between the characters which was realistic and easily imagined.

For the most part it was a happy ending, though I have to disagree with you in the manner in which Tim was allowed to commit suicide. I understand your reasoning for doing it and many in real life do act this way in the same situation and for the same reason, overcome with guilt. The reason I disagree with you is Tim was young likely mid to late 20's, a cop, but I see him as immature, even though he is an adult. There are many adults like him today who are not mature and even older than he who fail to grow up until they are in the mid life years, and even then there are some who never full mature. Being immature also helps explain some of Tim's reasons for acting as he did with women with whom he was involved. Even his mother treated him as a young lad when he stayed with her rather than an adult and her relationship was not all that healthy with her husband and she imparted this to her son. The fact that Tim recognized and accepted that he had destroyed his marriage and possibly several others showed he is growing more mature but it also shows that he failed to recognize the impact his actions would have on so many others, a fact of immaturity. Once he split from Aimee he recognized a good deal of this but still had issues with relationships and was not really ready to handle a relationship in a mature manner.

You layed the blame on him for the death of Jenny's father which in some ways he had a hand in the process. However, Silverman was well known as a drug dealer and as such he had little respect for others and acted outside

the law knowing one day he may have to pay the price for his wrong doings and Tim may easily be involved in that when it occurred being a police officer. Tim's problem was that he failed to recognize that his relationship with Jenny could endanger him as well as herself and also Jenny didn't help lessen this danger but rather heightened it by chasing after Tim and forming a relationship with him which resulted in Tim ending up in the hospital. Tim's error was not disclosing who had assaulted him to the authorites. If he had Jenny may have broken off the relationship for several reasons, daddy would likely lay down the law at home, she in turn may rethink her feelings for Tim and likely blame him for her father's arrest. In addition, she may see that living at home or anywhere near her home would be dangerous to Tim and her relationship and thus to protect Tim, break off the relationship or move elsewhere if it is to continue. Jenny also was lacking in maturity. She's only 20, seems a bit wild, knows her father wouldn't be happy knowing she's involved with Tim, and even speeded to be caught by Tim so she could be involved with him. These helped lead to Tim's downfall. She shouldn't have blamed Tim for her father's death when she had an equal hand in leading to it. In additon, she knew her father far better than Tim and how he might react if she would involved with Tim, yet she still went ahead like waving a red flag in front of a charging bull. Tim was not the one who killed her father, though both he and Jenny brought his anger to the surface to act as he did.

Silverman actually was a fool to think he could kill someone in broad daylight in front of the courthouse and get away with it. This was not given any consideration by you nor did anyone of the characters even propose this. I fail to understand how his actions in this have been entirely overlooked. In trying to kill Tim, Silverman would likely be killed in the process, particularly given the location and the time day when he chose to act against Tim. There were bound to be many witnesses to the shooting and also police officers would be nearby and respond very quickly to any sound of gun fire. With this in mind, laying the all guilt and blame on Tim was totally unjust. He was your scapegoat from a nasty situation and your fall guy. Jenny also has to accept some of this blame for 2 reasons. She knew her father would come after Tim if she has a relationship with him. This puts her father in danger also by her choices, yet she failed to heed either them or act on them. She also put Tim in danger knowing how her father feels and that Tim being an officer of the law may be in danger if she continues the relationship, yet she persists in doing so. I don't recall this being brought up either!

Despite these considerations, this was your piece to craft as you see fit. You took a good many characters created subplots for each of them, making each of the characters come to life with human traits and qualites and co-ordinated the many subplots to combine slowly into one cohensive unit. You did this with strong visual imaginary and descriptive dialogue and broad creative vocabulary where the readers viewed the action clearly in their mind's eye wherein they felt and shared in the emotions and conflicts, and were apart of the story you wove. Your climax at the end of Chapter 8 held them spell bound. Your conclusion in Chapter 9 brought your story to a happy end for the most part and tied most plots and characters together in a way which was acceptable to most readers. To do this for such a large numbers of characters and plots is a real challenge but to do so with the quality you have shared with us speaks to the talent

you possess.

Congratulations on an excellent piece of writing. I trust you gain as much satisfaction from it as we your readers have in enjoying your work.

Simple_Me

But it was worth every word you penned. To a master I say congratulations and thanks.

I have now read all of your offerings here and wish tere were lots more. They are most enjoyable and well done in my opinion.

Just read this straight through, after reading your L W stories.

Can't really tell the difference between L W and Novels/Novellas in this story, except no Harry in Va.. Anonii were there, but supportive. Ah well, enjoyed this as I have all your stories, keep up your excellent weaving of the language into very interesting tales.

A great story. I could not stop reading until the end.

His death did not add to the story in my opinion. But, I won't lose any sleep over that characters demise.

I still don't like reconciliations. The cheating slut was the one who should have died. She was a serial slut. It's a double standard and I know it, and Tim was an ass hole who realized what he had lost. She did the same (or similar) and didn't lose anything long term.

I must be a real perv because I skipped the sex scenes to get back to the plot line(s). I knew Will was going to kill himself probably before you did. ;-) It is not an uncommon phenomena - often times suicide patients complete the task just as it seems they are beginning to make a recovery. Two things happen: they once again realize the enormity of what they did to cause the original attempt and they get better at fooling their caregivers as to their real intent.

The only thing I would have changed is that the first time Sean told Amy (sorry, can't use your spelling - long story) about his former wife I would have had her sketch her first "breakthrough" sketch - not a masterpiece, just an indication she finally "got it" (we all saw it coming anyway) instead of falling into the sack with him - but then I already admitted to skippy most of those parts anyway.

Finally, it is too bad real life can't be this tidy. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

I think the ending was great. I hated that rat bastard Tim. While suicide is a little harsh, he certainly didn't deserve a happily ever after. So good ridance to that douche.

And the happy endings for the characters that weren't sociopaths were really good as well.

Only thing that was a bit of a stretch was Aimee forgiving Jenny like it was nothing. The girl was 20 and she knew what she was doing, and she certainly knew he was married. That didn't stop her. Aimee must be a better woman than me because there is no way in hell I'd just be like "oh well".

you are a great writter plz keep writting in these site.wish you all the best.

...and relatively believable to boot. The ending with all except Tim being happy was a nice touch if a tad contrived.

Excellent writing but I concur with one other poster that, although the graphic sex was well done and erotic, there was, if anything, too much of it. I know it's erotica and this is basically a sex site but sometimes less is more. That's just me though.

Overall a very good story. You grasped the emotions well and your presentation of them was spot on.

Thank you and well done.

Ace! I loved it! You are definitely up there with the best authors on the WEB! I add a lot of authors to my Lit. favourites list, but I add much less stories to the list. Some of the authors and stories are just there for me to remind myself to read through them - but this one I have read and it is awesome! It was realistic but also erotic and entertaining.

I'm amazed that everyone was friends at the end, but it was completely believable. It could have had more detail on cases such as where Cynthia and Aimee made up, but I was fine with that. I was wondering at first why David took her back, but then I realised it was his jealousy because he still loved her. For some reason I am not sure why, Sean and Elizabeth were my favourite characters. I guess it might be because Sean underwent the greatest change in the story, and Elizabeth played a very major role in the story by first being a call girl / escort, then trying to get out of the business and focus on her studies and her baby.

Tim's fainting episode was the only stretch in the entire story, but I guess you could explain that even though he was a manly man, he was also human and was running on nerves too long because of his guilt and fear of being exposed to the public, especially when interviewed by the press for so long!

Thanks for writing such an enjoyable story. I hope to read some more stories of yours in future. Take your time, even if it takes a year (I read some of your comments about how long it took you - lucky me: I read it all when the story was finished!) .. don't worry, I have you and this story added to my Lit. favourites. Just click my name and see ;)

I started reading when the story was complete and have not rated nor commented on previous chapters. Central theme to me is "looking forward" -- always. Life will go on, best to try to live well. Learn from the past, try not to repeat. Been there, doing that. Best lawyers I've had supported and encouraged that. Interesting to read the lawyer author's stories and see that emerge.

The ex-escort should have logically gotten the painter due to her beautiful body and Aimee would have gone ended up with Will. Marrying off the two painters to each other could lead to rivalries....

As some other people have noted, I'm surprised more people haven't commented on this. Kudos!

Very nice story with all characters well developed. There was a bit too much well described sex in the story for me. It made the story much more tedious and time consuming. I basically skimmed through most of the sex scenes. Very repetitive I thought. But all in all I love the story line. I would have loved it just as much or more if non-erotic...

I enjoyed this alot. Thank you so much for killing Tim. I just wish that David or someone had spilled the beans on him, got him fired and then he had Jealous husbands, angry fathers and possibly some of his fellow officers after his head then he realized what he'd done and being the self centered coward he would have ended his own life to avoid having to face the people he'd hurt .

This story was captivating from the beginning to the end. I'm surprised as well there werent more reviews. Truly a great read...I read it all in one night and again was just left in awe. Love drama, love the dynamic characters and love a happy ending!!

I'm surprised there are not more comments about this series. This is one of the most interesting stories that I've read in quite a while. Ch. 09 is a logical wrap-up; glad that Will and Sean survived their gun shot wounds and ended up with sexy loving wives. Great writing!

I went back and read this epic after reading and loving your latest submission about the musician going back home. I seem to think that I read it before, but maybe it only seems familiar?

There is a main character named Aimee in each story (unless my mind has failed) is this someone you know, or only that you love the name?

Now I have to read the shorts you have submitted to see if they are as good. Please keep sending them in.

wow. Amazing. I found many hours of free time to read this story in its entirety, and it was captivating in every aspect. Very well thought out and PLEASE write more! Your work is genius and spell-binding all around! Thank you for the phenomenal story!

...to a masterful tale that kept me spellbound from Chapter 1 through the long-awaited conclusion in Chapter 9. Kudos to you, Rehnquist, on a story well-plotted and well-written. Your characters were engaging and believable, and made the reader really care about what happened to them - even Tim, whose tragic ending still somehow managed to carry a redemptive quality. Life happens, and this was a story full of life.

Liked what you ended with. It wasn't too sappy, but just a little. Good work!