Kween 01

Well, "hi" seemed to be the word of day, so.

"Oh, well, school can be cruel, I mean, I mean, I mean, is it bad that I'm going to post that someone brought me a lunch at my work for the first time ever, I mean, I mean, I mean, hi."

Oh, LOL, I mean, I mean, I mean, LOL, he couldn't feel his co-workers absolutely burning holes in head with their "what's happening here" laser eye beams, right, tee he?

"Well, once again, Bill Billy, hi and it's a shame that nobody has ever brought you a work lunch before and you know, hi."

Well, they always pass out.

"[Munch, munch] Um, well, Bill passed out behind the yellow safety lines on the floor, so, it's okay then [munch, munch], so, is there an ulterior motive behind these Angry Meals [munch, munch], huh, Kween?"

"Oh, I mean, there is always an ulterior motive, sir, just like they always pass, out, so, um, what time might you expect the other guys back from the job site, hmm?"

"[Munch, munch] Oh, Ken, you just got a free lunch, so, do the math and tee he, add it up slowly since we don't get many tall socks, I mean, many visitors in the wood shop [munch, stare, munch]."

'[Munch, stare, do some math, munch] Um, it's four fingers of exposed left thigh, tee he, three, tee he, in the middle and another four fingers of exposed thigh on right leg, so, after 7pm or later [munch, aha, aha, munch]."

"Well, that's just about perfect than, I think, so, without knowing any of you (whisper, whisper, whisper) and do what you will that information! But include Bill Billy once he wakes up from being passed out. Oh, but no fair telling Ethan or that Bruce in advance, got it, guys?"

Well, they all passed out, but I assumed that snorting and snoring was a "yes, okay, we won't tell Ethan anything in advance" conformation and before you judge me, I left them passed out behind the yellow safety lines on the floor, so, it was all good.

Oh, and I wrote on a white paper food bag that, ick, ewe, ick, they had to use the power air hose and blow the sawdust off of themselves before responding to my whisper, whisper, whisper. I mean, nobody looks good or smells good or feels good with cover in ick, ewe, ick, sawdust glitter!

"Oh, what's this all about then, hmm? Name?"

"Kween and I have a party of..."

"Queen?"

"Ahem, Kween and I have a party of nine, with maybe two late stragglers, so?"

"Hah! It's 6pm on a Saturday! What don't you understand about a place being mainstream popular and requiring reservations on the weekends, hmm? But I do like your hair, so, what's the situation then, hmm?"

"Oh, it's my bad on the late notice and I'll take a little punishment about that, but I have a party of power air blown clean woodworkers just behind me and the situation is that one particular wood guy, who is not here, posted last night before he even turned the corner of the street that he over whelmed me because he's all that, which he did, of course, but it was my first real time and I should have been cut a little slack, so?"

"Oh, so, the old "I had to wash the messy bedding from being over whelmed my first time" routine then, hmm? Next time, just say it's slight revenge and save us from this talking time. And maybe I'm a little jealous of your voice, but I mean, the Fire Marshall has been watching our headcount as it is, so, it pains me, but I'm sorry because it's hard "no" this time, good bye."

"(Psst, boss, my uncle works at the barnwood shop.)"

Oh, oh, maybe there is a "family and friends" package available, right, folks? That sounded in my favor, right?

"Oh, I heard that "psst" and even though I don't really know any of them other than Ethan, I mean, I did deliver the rest of the sawdust covered crew lunch earlier today, so, um, that counts, right?"

"(Psst, shut it, purdy boy, and claim "temporary Congi Zen" immediately! And scrub my back in the shower some time.)"

"Oh, oh, I claim temporary Congi Zen for tonight and I demand refuge! And a shower! Tee he."

"Well, fine, but only because Manager Congi Gabbie has been slowly taking over!"

"(Tee he) ahem, welcome to the "Peep & Pull" adult bookstore, guys and LOL, uncle Phil. Step right inside of the back room and this evening, guys, we're featuring "Local Ladies Gone Wild" up to 7pm, so, tee he, don't blame us if someone you know pops up on the viewing screen, tee he."

"I mean, I mean, I mean, Niece Gabbie, Niece Gabbie, Niece Gabbie, I mean, I mean, I mean..."

"Hush, Uncle Phil. I'm way past knowing what men do in the peeping booths, tee he, besides, your old school whore, I mean, your old school girlfriend, Mrs. Vivian Vixen, takes care of our housekeeping and you know, she takes cares of a couple of things too! Also, hey there, hey Jason, tee he, thanks for breaking up with two years ago, so?"

"Bah, bah, bah, we broke up, Gabbie? I mean, when did we break up because I mean, I mean, I mean, hi, again, um, hi Gabbie."

Huh.

"Oh, Miss Manager, Miss Manager Congi Gabbie, I mean, this one here, Bill Billy, I mean (whisper, whisper, whisper), so?"

"OMFG! Well, that's naughty and on the edge! Also, I mean, Uncle Phil, go! It's all judgement free and my eyes are blind, promise."

Well, that didn't take much.

[A bunny token bunny slides in, clink, clink, clink, clink]

"We're way past handing out tokens for the soda machine, guys. Who ordered the very steamy peeping video "We're Step Siblings Tomorrow, So?" anyways?"

"OMFG, Kween, you didn't!"

"Oh, Miss Body Bunny Token Bunny, cancel that peeping video and find Bill Billy something else, so?"

"Oh, tee he, hold up since, you know, it's already been ordered, um, what, um, Miss Token Bunny, I mean, is there a sequel, like where they get caught, I mean, I'm asking for a friend and by the way, my friend, my best friend wants to know if it's future step sister and future step brother or is it future step brother and future step brother and um, you talk now, Token Bunny, so, um, which booth then, so, um, so I can text my friend and (plop)."

Well, Bill Billy passed out.

[Weep, an angry incoming text]

"WTF Kween? The entire crew is at the peeping store?"

[Whoop, a calm response text]

"And whacking their barnwood to peep shows!"

[Whoop, an even calmer quick response text]

"And they have "Pigtails & Lollipops" videos too!"

Well, just like boobs, everybody likes pigtails and lollipops, so.

[Ding, a different incoming text]

"Tee he, Ethan passed out in truck!"

[Whoop, a totally calm response, response text]

"Could I pull off a "Trap Next Door" peeping video, Bruce?"

[Ding, a jumbled response text]

"I e, t, we, g, q, u, boom"

Well, he probably passed out and crashed the truck, so.

"Oh, I mean, I haven't saw you here before, so?"

Um, the "Peep & Pull" adult bookstore is so mainstream that the guys wear nametags? Huh.

"Oh, I mean, this is my time here and I brought a small party from the barnwood shop as a form of mild revenge because someone called me out on social media and then I thought that I might audition for a "Trap Next Door" video while I'm here and um, hi, I'm Kween, so?"

"Well, hello my Queen, I mean..."

"Excuse me, it's Kween!"

"(Like it matters) oh, well then, that makes all the difference then, Kween, um, I'm Ray, as you can see from my nametag and um, tee he, how about I give you a personal tour of the backroom then, huh?"

You know, folks, the peeping booth backroom was sizable, but one could see all of the walls from basically anywhere one stood, so, what did Congi Que say earlier, that's a hard "no" then, right?

"Well, Ray, is it inappropriate for us to stroll past the peeping booth doors so I can hear that my party is having a good time, hmm? And just for listening and nothing more, so, I mean, I'm on your arm, so."

Well, that didn't take much.

"[Gentle rap, rap on door] psst, barnwood #2, it's me, Kween, are you enjoying things in there?"

"[Fap, argh, fap, argh, fap, fap] oh, I mean, Kween [fap, fap, fap] you get free barnwood for life [fap, fap, fap, argh, ooh, ahh, argh]."

"Psst, barnwood #2, are you watching "I thought you were my wife" or something?"

"[Fap, argh, fap, argh, fap, fap] oh, I mean, Kween [fap, fap, fap] it's titled "I thought this was the Men's room" [fap, fap, fap, argh, ooh, ahh, argh]."

Oh, I actually liked that title, right?

"[Gentle rap, rap on door] psst, barnwood #6, it's me, Kween, are you enjoying things in there?"

"[Fap, argh, fap, argh, fap, fap] oh, I mean, Kween [fap, fap, fap] I'll refinish your basement bar anytime [fap, fap, fap, argh, ooh, ahh, argh]."

"Psst, barnwood #6, are you watching "Ma'am, you have flat tire" or something?"

"[Fap, argh, fap, argh, fap, fap] oh, I mean, Kween [fap, fap, fap] it's titled "Mister, I have a flat tire" [fap, fap, fap, argh, ooh, ahh, argh]."

Well, maybe it's the sequel or something.

"[Gentle rap, rap on door] psst, barnwood #8, it's me, Kween, are you enjoying things in there?"

"[Fap, argh, fap, argh, fap, fap] oh, I mean, Kween [fap, fap, fap] I owe you an Angry Meal lunch now [fap, fap, fap, argh, ooh, ahh, argh]."

"Psst, barnwood #8, are you watching "I can't pay for my food order" or something?"

"[Fap, argh, fap, argh, fap, fap] oh, I mean, Kween [fap, fap, fap] it's actually, um [fap, fap, fap, argh, fap, fap] it's a camera on you, Kween [fap, fap, fap, argh, ooh, ahh, argh], pop your shorts zipper!"

Well, WTF? But once I found the camera, I mean, well, I pushed my shorts down and then since I was wearing activewear under, I mean, then the Denim shorts just came off, so, what? I mean, I was in the damned "Peep & Pull" adult bookstore, for Pete's sakes.

"[Spew, spew, spew, spew, argh, ahh, argh, spew, spew, spew, argh, ugh, ugh, squirt, argh, squirt.]"

Well, it's not like I listened and counted, but that was sevens "spews" and wo "squirts" and that's a big deal for a rookie like me.

"Psst, barnwood #8, I might be mostly a rookie and that's mostly, by the way, but I understand the biology parts, so?"

"[Ahh, ooze, ahh, drizzle, ahh, ooze, ooze, ahh, drizzle, drizzle, ahh, milk it out, ahh]"

Well, biology is important, so.

"Ahem! My turn, Kween!"

Oh, it was not Ray's turn!

"Oh, hello, is there a protective bouncer all up in here, please and thank you!"

So, a bouncer and a brick wall are exactly the same then? Cool.

"I mean, I mean, I mean, you're Queen, right? From Two-Thirds Street?

"Oh, I'm Kween and it bothers me that you know that I live on Two-Thirds Street, so, hello, is that bounce..."

"Hold up before you summon Jack Jaw Jack on me, I mean, anyways, that's what I said, Queen, so?"

"OMFG, it's like night and day, stranger, it's Kween!"

"(Like it matters) well, listen, um, we went to school together, um, I sat in trash can upside down, so?"

"Larry? Larry Lawrence? I crushed on you for 3 days! I mean, the smell kind of broke my spirit and all, so."

"Oh, well, at least I have been crushed on for three days then, Kween, so, um, this might look bad, but, um, this place, I mean, I've heard that this place has the soda in town and the machines here only take tokens, so, um, well, I promise you, Kween that..."

"[That body bunny token bunny side slips in with a hip bump, clink, clink, clink, clink] here you go, Larry, my favorite token customer and tipper, here is your hourly refreshment of peeping booth tokens, enjoy!"

Well, put that shade of red in a lip gloss tube and I'll buy it! Well, tone it down just a tad and then I'll buy it.

"Go on, Larry, you probably have lost time to make up for and by the way, is there a place where we can make out to make up for that too?"

Well, I just said that I crushed on him for three days, like three years ago, so. And, and, and, tee he, I was so much better at making out than Larry was. Point!

"May I have your attention, customers, for the next 30 minutes, we will be featuring, free of charge, our own local production, "Trapped by a Trap" featuring our own honorary Congi Zen, the fairly hot Kween, ta da! (I. E., local taxes and phone video copy charges may apply)."

Well, fine, but Larry looks so much better when he's not upside down in a trash can and it, I mean, it came out of pants all on its own and it was right there! And not over whelming! So, shut it! And enjoy the video.

Tee he, it did not so just "pop out on its own", tee he, but it was fun to show Larry where it was and how it should be jerked, tee he, I mean, gently taken out.

End Kween 01