Ladies of the Apocalypse Ch. 02

Lili dried herself off carefully. Her skin was tender and excitable. She found herself oddly tempted to masturbate, but really didn't know how. Besides the stuff she had emulated from porn movies for her own films, she didn't really know anything at all about sex or even about her own body. Her parents hadn't been big supporters of sexual education. She had never kissed a man who wasn't a family member.

Sighing, she stepped back into her brother's bedroom. It felt odd being so alone after the show she had just performed, like stepping back into her apartment after a sale day at the mall. She wanted to fling the door to the bedroom open and make Gabriel take a really good look at her, to have him stand face to face with her, to feel sexy without the camera in the way like some terrible chaperone.

But Lili knew she was being silly. This was all about business, and the boundaries they had in place was the only thing that let them continue on without complication, the only thing that kept her wild little fantasy life separate from reality. Without these precautions she would find herself caught up in a hurricane of emotion and feeling she wasn't sure she could recover from.

Still, her heart ached and her cunt burned.

---

The best thing about going to the same university as her brother was that it was only a mile walk from the graduate dorms to the freshman dorms where Lili and her roommate's lived. She could walk it alone easily, if only Gabriel wasn't so paranoid that some pervert would come along and rape her if she went out alone at night.

The fifteen-minute walk was agonizing. Lili was always hyper-aroused after her shoots, and the feel of her brother's skin as he accidentally knocked against her from time to time gave her pleasurable little goose bumps and made her awkward and wet between the legs.

She couldn't help thinking about all the naughty stuff she had been doing, especially that last bit with the silicone phallus, wishing that it could be her brother's hunk of meat she was toying with instead. The silicon had a rubbery, artificial sort of taste that she was just beginning to get used to and didn't really like. Would a real cock taste much better? Was it wrong to even think about such things? Girls weren't supposed to be sex-crazed maniacs like guys were! Was something wrong with her, was she somehow messed up because the only cock she had ever been interested in just happened to be attached to her precious older brother?

Lili sighed and tried hard to flick that part of her brain off like a light switch. She missed the days when her thoughts were a lot more innocent and playful, when she never seemed to doubt whether she was a good person or not, never even imagined she could feel shame for her thoughts and feelings. Was it simply part of getting older, or were her doings somehow so wrong that her very own mind set out to punish her?

She really had to think of something else.

She took her brother's hand, hoping to make it seem like she just needed the comfort of his presence to fight off the fear of nighttime predators, and set out to find some thought that would require a lot of brain power, yet have nothing whatsoever to do with sex.

Finally her brain settled on Samantha. The two of them were quickly becoming friends, ever since she'd picked her up off the bathroom floor after her first puking fit a couple of weeks ago. It turned out that all three girls in that dorm apartment had the same morning class Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays: Famous Women in History and Myth. Lili had an extra credit presentation on Lady Godiva due on Monday (she had chosen that topic because it made her think of chocolate). The three girls took to walking to class together. Samantha always somehow managed to disappear right after class, though no one Lili talked to could remember what door she had walked out of.

Lili stood on the tips of her toes to kiss her brother on the cheek before she unlocked the door to the apartment. The lights in the common room were already out, which meant that the two other girls had retired to their rooms for the night. The light was on in Samantha's room, and Lili could hear a sound like an electric razor going. Was Samantha shaving her legs?

Another thing she could imagine was that her friend behind the white painted door was lying sprawled on her bed, her legs spread apart, pleasuring herself with a fancy electric vibrator like she had seen a girl do in a porno her brother sent her on her eighteenth birthday.

Lili blushed and tried to dispel the image. Real women certainly didn't masturbate, except on camera! They were naturally too modest to take advantage of themselves that way. She must still be aroused from the filming or she wouldn't even think of such things! She was really turning into a total pervert. What dirty thoughts she was capable of thinking!

She smiled at her own tactless vulgarity and scuffled off to the bathroom to change into her nightie and go to bed. She could tell that Marina had been the last in the bathroom because the room smelt heavily of incense and candle wax. Lili had no idea what her roommate did in the shower, and wasn't sure she wanted to know.

She began to brush her teeth furiously, almost as though she was getting ready for a hot date and intended to do a lot of kissing. She spit the paste out into the porcelain basin and giggled when it reminded her of her brother's reheated cum bubbling in her mouth. She pulled some dental floss out of the cabinet and threaded it between her teeth. The string often made her gums bleed, but it was worth it to maintain proper dental hygiene. Besides, she liked the way it made her mouth feel all sensitive, so how it made her really fantasize about sucking cocks afterwards, one after another. Unfortunately, Gabriel bought all her sex toys for her and insisted on locking them in a trunk in his closet when they weren't using them for filming.

Marina was already asleep when Lili walked into their shared bedroom. She stayed up for a while, doing research for her project by the light of the desk lamp.

"The legend of Lady Godiva, a tantalizing tale about a noblewoman who rode naked around Coventry to protest an excessive tax, is believed to be a myth surrounding a real woman, Godiva, wife of Leofric, Earl of Mercia, a wealthy landowner in her own right, and a religious patron."

Lili closed her book and sighed heavily. The white mice Marina had swiped from her biology lab were making a ruckus in their little cage. Lili hoped her roommate would let them loose sometime soon, their shit smelt bad.

She threw a pillow over her head and quickly fell asleep, dreaming wonderful dreams of dark chocolate covered with freshly microwaved cum, and a very bumpy car ride.

---

Lili was, predictably, first out of bed. Years of parentally enforced slave labor tending her mother's organically-grown heirloom tomatoes accustomed to rising with the sun. She slapped her cheeks gently to get the blood flowing and sashayed off to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.

While she waited for the coffee to percolate, she sat on the common room couch, reading another account of the exploits of Lady Godiva and nibbling idly on a bit of granola bar.

Riding around naked through the town on horseback, after ordering all the commoners to stay inside with the windows latched, how cool was that!

Lili must have dozed off a bit. She actually felt the air against her skin, the rough leather of the saddle rubbing ruthlessly against her clit as she rocked back and forth in time with the natural gait of the white stallion. She could even feel the eyes of the villages staring at her though their latched windows.

She jumped up just in time to keep the cheap coffee pot (which she had purchased from Target a week ago) from overflowing, nearly singing her delicate fingers in the effort.

A moment later, a knock at the door made her jump. She ran quickly back to her room to throw her bathrobe over her pajamas and rushed to open the door. Peeking through the door, her heart still pounding, she realized she might as well not have bothered. It was only Gabriel.

"Hey, bro," she said opening the door so her older brother could enter the apartment. Was it only her imagination, or did he really pause a moment to check out her cleavage? She couldn't help but get a little wet. "Come on in. The other girls will be up in a moment. They won't be pleased with me for letting some strange guy in the house, even if he's my brother."

Her brother plopped down on the couch and stretched awkwardly, as though he was trying to act more comfortable than he really was. He drew his sister towards him and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Lili laid her head against his shoulder. She could feel his heart beating. The silence was heavy.

"So, don't you have morning office hours or something?" Lili asked, just to relieve the awkward silence.

"The office hours were canceled," her brother replied, stroking her hand absently. "The professor will be out of town on a conference this Friday, so the weekly quiz was postponed. I thought I'd take you out to breakfast, if you aren't too busy. I feel like I rushed you off too quickly last night. Besides," he added, grunting as he moved his arm away so he could reach the zipper of the book bag he brought with him. "I picked up this new device from the post office this morning, and I'm dying to try it out for the website."

"Oh, what is it?" Lili exclaimed, throwing herself closer in her excitement, so that her brother's arm was squeezed between her large breasts. Her hyper-sensitive cunt rubbed deliciously against the rough fabric of the couch cushion. She was pretty sure she was leaving a bit of a slime trail.

Gabriel pulled out a pair of shiny silver balls and something resembling a small TV remote. "It's a remote-controlled vibrator," he explained, his voice a little husky. "You, um... put those little silver bullets... ah hum... up yourself, and I'll have the other end. So, when you least expect it, we... I mean, I turn on the remote and see how you cope with getting off in public. You know, our viewers adore this exhibitionist stuff. I thought we might... ah... hum... broaden ourselves a little bit, bring in more of a market."

"Sounds like fun," Lili replied, trying hard to make her voice sound even when she was positively shaking with excitement. "Just let me run take a quick shower and dress, and I'll be out in a moment." She reached out to take the two silver bullets from her brother, and his fingerstips brushed against her palm as he blushed and handed them to her. Pleasure and trepidation coursed though Lili's body. "Back in a jiffy!" She skipped into the bathroom, feeling Gabriel's eyes drilling into her back.

---

Twenty minutes later, Lili's entire body was soaped and thoroughly cleaned. She also incidentally changed into a slightly too-short dress and inserted the little bullets. Gabriel gave her a taste of the vibrations the moment she stepped out of the bathroom, and Lili nearly collapsed. She giggled merrily as she struggled to right herself.

"I don't know how I'll manage not to act really weird at breakfast!" Lili protested, with laughter in her voice.

"That's the point. You're the closet exhibitionist. I figured you'd get a kick out of this. Besides, you'll have all your fans eating out of the palm of your hand."

---

By Halloween Lili had made enough money from her online business to pay next year's tuition, with a little left over to pad Gabe's salary. But the tension between brother and sister was getting a little out of hand. Lili couldn't even think about her brother, without blushing and crumpling over with a delicious tummy ache that felt strangely like cumming and messing a pair of clean lacy panties in the process. Fortunately, Lili's mother, who had grown up in poverty and sometimes had wear rags instead of underwear, was concerned that her grown daughter would be forced into the same indignity. Never a week went by that young Lili, who was (technically) still a virgin and rather shy around men in her off-camera life, didn't get a care package of deliciously sensual undergarments from her well meaning mother.

The duo were making a killing in the panty market. About a week before, Lili finally got up the nerve to ask her brother exactly why horny men wanted to buy her soaked panties on the Internet. Gabe, who was drinking a can of mountain dew, spit it out his nose and turned purple. There was an awkward silence for nearly half a minute, before Gabe stammered that he had to run off and present something or other to his advisor, and ran out the front door, leaving his confused baby sister behind in his apartment all by her lonesome.

Lili thought about it during her Great Women in History and Mythology class, which in general had the flaw of being dull. She didn't really like to think about it, but she knew that the men she sold her panties to were using them to masturbate. Like Britney had said ages ago in that music video Lili loved in back Junior High, she wasn't that innocent.

No, she told herself, shaking her head, completely ignoring her teacher's "feminist perspective on the king Arthur myth," a subject that had her roommate Marina in such raptures. (Lili was especially disinclined to listen to the lecture because Marina liked it, and Marina had politely kicked her out of the bedroom so her cousin from San Diego could stay with her during the fires.) No, it wasn't exactly WHAT the men were doing with her panties that interested her. She certainly didn't want to know THOSE details.

It really the question WHY that was eating at her. Why was what she was doing working? Why were so many people eager to watch her? What was the appeal? And why was her brother the only man in the world she could possibly let herself want? The kindest, gentlest man in the world was the one who felt the most uncomfortable with it. She had the disquieting notion that there was something to these questions, and if she could only find the answers she would be much better off. She thought that the questions she was troubling herself over might in fact be too difficult for one eighteen year old girl to answer on her own. But who could she confide in when she had such a secret?

If only she could think of some cover, some silly fake story she could tell someone so they could understand without really understanding. If only there was some way she could tell her tale without someone shutting her up or judging her harshly. But was there a single girl alive who could forgive her for making porn?

Class ended, and Samantha, who had been sitting next to her, slipped out some side door that Lili hadn't noticed and simply disappeared without a trace. Marina hurried by, apparently caught up in her conversation with the cute TA.

Lili didn't feel much like going to her brother's apartment and shooting another video, and she had reduced her hours at See's with the income from the shoots.

When she was completely honest with herself, Lili realized that she wanted to talk to Samantha more than anyone else, as if some hidden region of her soul was drawn irresistibly to the other woman.

Lili mulled it over in her mind while she trudged back towards her dorm room. Ever since that strange night, it was like her flat mate was a completely different person. Lili knew something in her had snapped, and that was appealing the way auto accidents and dead baby birds are horribly appealing. Was Samantha crazy enough to listen to her? A tight aching place in her tummy gave a delicious little yearning flop at the thought, and her already tortured crotch squirted a load of feminine juices into the third pair of panties for the day. Lili, was confused and embarrassed (she never had any sexual feelings towards women, ever!) and wondered idly if this pair would smell any different from the other two, which she had dirtied thinking of Gabriel.

She raised her head slightly and continued walking. She was just too horny, that was all, maybe she was ovulating or something. She wasn't the sort of girl who had kinky fantasies about family members, or girls! Girls who had such fantasies were messed up somehow. Maybe they had fathers or funny uncles who had raped them, or mothers who insisted they wear their brother's old Spiderman undies to elementary school because they were too lazy or too poor to buy them lacy girls' panties.

Lili shrugged. It felt like she was knocking a great weight off her shoulders. God, wouldn't it be great if she could manage to open up to somebody? She just knew Samantha would listen to her!

She stepped off the cement curb and began to cross the parking lot nearest the dorms when a strange animalistic noise caused her to turn her head suddenly. These sounds were exactly what she thought they were. In a shady corner of the parking lot, a couple was pressed tightly together, having sex on the hood of a blue Saturn. The woman was very slender and busty with shockingly blond hair that looked as if it had come in a can. Lili noticed with a critical eye that the woman wore nothing but expensive designer clothing, and had French-tipped nails. Lili couldn't see much of the woman's face or the front of her clothing (besides the boobs, which really stood out) because she was covered by her lover, a regal but arrogant-looking man with a long brown pony-tail.

Lili was absolutely mesmerized. She had never really seen people have sex before. She had watched a bit of porn, but that didn't compare to having the real thing right there in front of her. She remembered vaguely that once, years ago, she had woken up from a nightmare, and stumbled upon her parents having sex. But that was so different. She had been scared and embarrassed then. Now, she was aroused.

It was almost as though she could feel every bump and grind, every grunt and squeal of pleasure. It seemed so right, as though the natural order of things demanded that men and women embrace in that manner, and her own unbelievably wet cunt, which had never known the feel of a real warm-blooded cock to stretch it, seemed to whimper with desire.

Lili gasped.

As she continued to stare open-mouthed, the couple moved apart slightly and shifted so the handsome gentlemen stood on the ground, his trousers around his legs, while the woman rested her weight on her arms and dipped ever-so-slightly to match the rhythm of the thrusts.

Lili was hypnotized. Her heart pounded in her chest and neck in time with the beat of the two young bodies knocking against each other. Her soul vibrated with every grunt, every squeal. She felt like her body would break under the pressure. She reached down and gently touched her pussy through her clothing. The sensation was unbelievably sharp and pleasant. Her flesh urged her to continue; it knew the ritual of masturbation well from all the hours on camera. It was part of her, and yet she felt odd and conflicted. She was so alone, so left out, so invisible. All at once, she wished it was her on the hood of the car being fucked. She wanted to flaunt her naked body to the world in life the way she did on camera, to force the stupid people who would surely judge her to stand there and watch and see what sort of creature she really was, to force them to somehow deal with it.

It was wrong that she felt so ashamed.

The bleached blonde convulsed, sucking in her stomach dramatically, and began doing little sit-ups on the hood of the car. The man thrust deeply into her and froze, a somber frown on his face.

Lili bit her lip and slowly pulled her hand from her loins. She was so overcome by the sensation that she couldn't force herself to move for almost a whole minute. Finally, slowly, she awoke from her trance and stumbled to her door.

Samantha was already home, throwing a hissy fit about some guy named Mikelis who she made a point of calling a "man whore" as often as possible. Lili thought this was somewhat amusing, but mostly it was frustrating. She had such high hopes for confiding in her flat-mate, and now it seemed like that wasn't going to happen.