Learning the Ropes Ch. 04

Chapter 4: Performance Evaluation

Note: So in an act of self-preservation, I scrounged up some spare time to write this in an effort to not go insane from course work overload. Hope you enjoy it.

HR cuddled with Lai Chan for several minutes in silence. Several minutes turned into dozens of minutes. Dozens of long, silent, glorious minutes of hugging his girlfriend.              

Every now and then Lai Chan would shift and tighten her grip, letting out a little sigh of contentment. The experience gave him time to notice some things he hadn't really had the time to before, given how they usually spent their time together. You know - fighting for his life on the mat, or more preoccupied with getting her off than noticing the little things. But now, with her against him in a... more platonic manner than usual, he had time to think.

She was cool against him. Literally. Without the throes of passion or adrenaline of fear coursing through his veins he realized how much cooler her skin was than that of a normal person. Guess it was one of the traits of being an air genasi. It was relaxing. Sort of like a cold pack on your sore muscles after an intense workout.

The other thing he noticed was that her hair wasn't actually made of clouds. It was cloud-like. He reached up with his hand and played with a bit of it. It felt... normal. The clouds parted for his hand, briefly revealing the hair before rejoining and becoming clouds once again. He wondered what her hair routine could possibly be like.

Unfortunately for him, his meditation upon her hair care and bodily functions was interrupted by one of his own.

He tried to wiggle out of her grasp. Every attempt he made found him gripped tighter and tighter, as if by a boa constrictor. "Um... Lai Chan?"

"Yes, boyfriend?" He could tell she very much enjoyed saying the word. Almost as much as he did hearing it.

"Could you let go? You know, just for a minute." She instead snuggled him harder.

"No."

"Please?"

"Why?"

"I need to use the restroom." There was a pause after that statement, a long one. HR was shocked that she was actually debating the pros and cons of denying him his request. And then she released him.             

"Hurry up."

The command came with a huff. Besides the night she dragged him from the gym, this was the most upset he'd seen her. She was cute when she pouted. Though that didn't mean he wanted her to stay that way. HR quickly threw on his clothes and headed to the door. Upon opening it and seeing the ginormous corridor, he was reminded that he didn't know his way around the mansion.

He turned back towards the annoyed woman on the bed. "Which way i-"

"The end of the hall, to the left." Her voice was still annoyed, as if she had come to realize that the biological need to expel waste would continue to cut into her cuddling time for the rest of their lives.

"Thanks." He gave her a smile as he gently closed the door behind him.

His footsteps sounded too loud as he walked down the hall. He hoped he wasn't disturbing the inhabitants. Then his mind started to wonder. As far as he, and the general public, knew, Lai Chan's family had thirteen members. There was Meng Wei, her nine children, one daughter-in-law and two grandchildren. Even with the fact that Lai Chan's room was larger than the average one, there were five other doors between her door and the end of the corridor. Surely thirteen people couldn't take up all this space. This was only one hallway in a single wing of the mansion. Perhaps some of the rooms were used for servants and the like? The hypotheses on what the extra rooms were used for took up the bulk of his thinking as HR took care of business in the bathroom.

On his way back he became excited. The moment he had with Lai Chan was gone. The euphoric happiness of making their relationship official had led to a wondrous cuddling session that met its end all too soon. But it wasn't all bad. With that moment gone, there was room for him to make new moments. And he was sure that like with her training, his girlfriend had near limitless energy and eagerness to create those new moments with him. Moments that were a bit more involved then just cuddling. He felt himself start to chub up as he opened the door to her room.

Instead of his naked girlfriend waiting for him on the bed, HR was greeted with a clothed girlfriend conversing with her mother. Now, one would think that the mother of one's girlfriend being present would kill the mood, but in this specific case, it had the opposite effect. Even in her older age she was still delightfully thick and she could have passed for a woman in her mid-forties. The purest example of a milf. She had been a sex symbol, and personal midnight fantasy, his entire life and his body reacted as such every time he met her in the flesh. His brain waged a civil war within itself as he tried to calm his bodily desires and fantasies.

Meng Wei turned towards him upon hearing the door open. Did... did her eyes look downward for a second? HR dared not follow the potentially imagined gaze in case he'd draw unneeded attention to his almost-boner.

"Good, you're still here." The casualness of her sentence struck him. He remembered just how many people would kill to be in the same room as her, let alone speak to her. This being the second time conversing with the most popular woman on the planet didn't make his reaction any more natural.

"Hey! I mean, hi." He cleared his throat, resisting the urge to go for a handshake. "Hello ma'am." He looked away to minimize the embarrassment of having to look her in the eyes. It was at that moment that he realized that Lai Chan wasn't wearing her gym clothes. She was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. That meant her gym clothes were still scattered about the floor. The clear signs of what they had done in the presence of his girlfriend's mother made his insides cringe. He knew that she knew what they were up to. And then he started thinking about her thinking about what they got up to. And then the thoughts turned to what he and her could - he tensed his entire body and let out a slow exhale. It was a relaxation technique he'd heard about and used often, mostly at the gym when things got too hot.

Meng Wei just laughed it off, not directly addressing his embarrassment. "First off, congratulations on becoming official."

"Thank you, ma'am."

"So, Hilbane, it's been a while since my daughter was home this early so I figured I'd organize a family dinner. I'd love it if you would attend." She smiled warmly at him.

He couldn't say no. Who would say no? A private dinner with one of the richest families in the world? Sharing a table with top tier entertainers? He'd be crazy to say no. But he couldn't say yes either. He was just some random elf who happened to go to the same gym as their family member. I mean, sure he was technically dating her but that didn't mean he deserved -

"Yes." It took him a second to realize he even responded. It was an unconscious reaction to meeting his girlfriend's eyes and seeing pure excitement. He could tell she was excited to show him off to her family and there wasn't a single thought in her mind that he would refuse. He didn't want to disappoint her.

Lai Chan squealed and seemingly teleported over to him, squeezing him with all her might.

"Great! I'll go gather everyone else." Seeing her turn in the dress (that was probably worth more than he was) reminded him that he was wearing slightly sweaty gym wear.

"Wait, I'm sorry but I don't think I'm probably dressed to meet -"

Meng Wei interrupted him.

"Nonsense. It doesn't matter what you wear. Do you plan on dressing up every time you come over here?" HR shook his head. "Then you're fine." And with that, she turned and walked out of the room, leaving him to be squeezed by Lai Chan.

Twenty minutes later saw HR seated at a large round table with all of Lai Chan's family. Normally he would be the overwhelmed fan, staring at them with a dumb look on his face, but right now the roles were reversed. Many of her family snuck glances at him while others flat out stared. Only two members seemed not interested in the stranger sitting at their table. He stared at his silverware set up and tried to ignore the peering faces.

He looked over the table as a whole and besides the status difference between him and them, he wondered about the family dynamics as a whole. Meng Wei's kids spanned essentially two generations, with the oldest one being forty and the youngest being nineteen. Meng Wei herself was only in her early sixties. He wondered if the oldest and youngest got along. His eyes scanned all of the faces he'd seen in magazines and articles until he got to the people next to him.

To his right was his Lai Chan, who had grabbed his hand to lead him to the dining hall and had not relinquished it since. To his left was one of her little sisters, Veronica, a water genasi and up and coming actress. Though he was told her acting was peerless, he was almost certain that the anger in her eyes was genuine.

Meng Wei attempted to come to his rescue. "Veronica, it's impolite to stare."

Veronica didn't stop her leering as she responded. "He's in my seat."

"No one has assigned seats, dear. It's first come, first served."

Veronica turned towards her mother, the anger in her voice turning into whining. "But I always sit next to Lai Chan!"

Her mother didn't bat an eye. "And you can next time. It's not like you'll never have another opportunity to sit next to your sister."

"But-" She was silenced with a scowl from her mother and began sulking next to HR. He'd been Lai Chan's boyfriend for all of an hour and already was causing tension between her family members. Great.

Before he could return to staring at his plate and the guilty pleasure of enjoying Lai Chan squeezing his hand at random intervals, he was addressed directly by Meng Wei.

"Well. I guess now's as good a time as any. Hilbane, want to introduce yourself?" HR swallowed and nodded. Before he could open his mouth though, Lai Chan held up their connected hands and spoke.

"Hi everyone! This is HR and he's my boy-" Meng Wei cut her off.

"Thank you, sweetie. But I think we'd prefer it if Hilbane introduced himself to us." Lai Chan quieted down but turned towards him, her eyes glowing with pride and happiness. Right. Gotta do this right and not embarrass her.

He looked out to the table of celebrities and froze. To talk to these people as if they were equals was a daunting task. He'd never talk to them if they just happened to meet on the street. Hell, he'd never have talked to Lai Chan if her trainer didn't force him to fight her.

"Um... hello. My name's HR - Hilbane! My name's Hilbane but everyone at the gym calls me HR because..." - that was not a story for first introductions - "reasons."

He looked over and received a supportive smile and hand squeeze from his girlfriend.

"From what I understand, Lai Chan told some of you about me already but in case she didn't..." His mind blanked for a second and he scrambled for a descriptor. "Well, first off I'm an elf, obviously."

He heard a giggle off to his right. Lai Chan's other younger sister, a half-elf gymnast named Mai Fan, laughed at his unintended joke.

"I uh, started at the gym a few months ago and got paired up with Lai Chan to train. That's how we met." He used his free hand to gesture towards Lai Chan and she waved at her family.

"Um... I'm 19. And I've lived in this city my whole life. And uh..." his gut told him that going on any longer would only lose him points. "And it's an honor to meet all of you."

A pause followed before he added, "Oh! And thank you for having me for dinner." Mai Fan giggled again. "Over for dinner. For having me over for dinner." Having embarrassed himself enough, HR lowered his gaze and waited for death to take him.

A few seconds passed before the table reacted. The most abundant reaction was laughing, but though they were laughing at him, most of them were just laughing away the awkwardness he carpet bombed the hall in.

There was a chuckle from across the table - Ai, one of the older children, a half-elf whom HR knew as a pop star.

"So you're not just a pretty face. Cute and funny. Tell me Hilbane, do you have any siblings?"

Something in her tone made him swallow. "No. I'm an only child. For now at least."

She smiled in response, the disappointment only showing in her voice. "Damn. Guess I'll have to settle for you then." She stared him down like a predator.

In response Lai Chan pulled him close, interposing herself as much as she could between him and her older sibling. "He's mine," she stated, as she sent a glare at Ai.

Ai just chuckled again. "Of course Lil' Lai. I was just teasing." HR shivered. Her eyes didn't match her words. She looked at him the same way three other women at the gym did. Especially like a certain redheaded model. He hoped Ai wasn't exactly like her.

HR was saved by the true start of dinner. A few servers entered the hall carrying platters of food and presented them to each person. Two of Lai Chan's older sisters scoffed and went back to ignoring him. Veronica had recovered from sulking and had progressed to sending him the occasional side eye between bites. Mai Fan snuck not so secret glances at him from around Veronica, clearly interested in learning more about her sister's new lover. The rest of the table went about what he thought was a strangely normal family dinner.

The eldest son, a writer named Dai Lee, sat with his wife and watched over his young son. Meng Wei conversed with some of the middle children in the way any mother would, checking up on their progress and congratulating them on any recent successes. HR sat there and took it all in, wondering how people so far above him could be so... normal.

The main course of food arrived and HR wondered whether Meng Wei wanted to show off for a guest, or if this was just the normal routine. Each person received a roasted duck served with side dishes and seasoned in different ways, probably how the individual liked it. His was relatively normal. Makes sense, he was a guest after all, it's not like the chefs knew his palette from years of feeding him.

The smell of the duck reminded him of the workout that was interrupted earlier in the night. His body craved that fowl protein to replenish his reserves. Mouth salivating, he picked up one of the many forks with his right hand and hoped he picked the right one for decorum. He went to grab a knife with his left and was quickly reminded that his girlfriend was still holding it.

Hesitantly, he slowly tried to pull his hand away and was met with a squeeze. His girlfriend had a mischievous look in her eye, as if she thought he was playing a game, and held his hand to her chest, over her heart. She leaned down and gave the top of his hand a kiss and sent him the most genuine and quite honestly seductive smile he'd ever seen, even if the seduction was likely by accident.

He felt himself start to shift in his shorts as her smile combined with the feeling of his hand against her breast. They shared a long look before a throat was cleared across the table.

"Lai Chan, one needs two hands to use utensils." Meng Wei's warning was loud and clear by her tone.

Lai Chan looked at their clasped hands and then over to her mother, ready to voice an objection. A look made her think better of that course of action. She let go of HR's hand.

She then promptly slid her chair over until she was shoulder to shoulder with HR, flashing him a quick smile before sending a challenging look to her mother.

HR saw shock flash across Meng Wei's face, and he understood where it came from. Though minor, this was probably the most aggressive she'd seen her daughter. Even during sparring matches Lai Chan was all smiles. Then her face turned to the expected anger at a blatantly insubordinate child.

HR gave Meng Wei an apologetic look. This was the second fight that had been had over him and he wanted to lessen the blow. Seeing his face, Meng Wei softened a bit. She didn't acknowledge the challenge, but she wasn't happy with it either, sending the occasional scowl toward her daughter's poor decorum in the presence of a guest. Satisfied with her victory, Lai Chan returned to all smiles as she happily ate her dinner against her boyfriend.

HR ate a few bites of his duck and wasn't surprised that it was possibly the best tasting thing he'd ever had. He was so absorbed in the flavor of the mallard and the cool yet warm feeling of his girlfriend against him that he didn't notice her younger sisters staring at him until Veronica poked him in the arm.

She gestured for him to lean down and once he did she whispered into his ear, "What the fuck did you do to my sister?"

He whispered back, "What?"

"She's never been that aggressive with anyone, let alone mom. Is your dick magic or something?" The question caught him off guard and he coughed into his arm. He looked over at Lai Chan devouring her poultry like she was the happiest woman on the planet. He figured odds were, she was at least in the top three.

"I didn't do anything. She seems normal to me." He lied to protect her. Definitely. It's not like he was worried about striking out in the first family dinner.

Veronica saw right through him and looked him up and down incredulously. Her eyes seemingly lingered on his groin for half a second longer than everything else. "Whatever."

HR returned to his duck and got a few more bites in before being tapped on the shoulder again. This time he was met with the curious eyes of Mai Fan. She had swapped seats with her sister when he wasn't looking.

"How did you two meet?"

"Huh?"

"How did you meet?" She asked the same question as if that explained everything.

"Well, as I said, we were paired up at the gym."

Mai Fan let out an exasperated sigh, but her eyes still shone with the thirst for knowledge. "Yeah but, what was the moment like? Did you like her from the first time you saw her? Or did you grow to like her over time? Have you ever beaten her? Do you go easy on her because you like her? Do you get sad when you aren't paired up? When did you two take things beyond the mat?" HR was overwhelmed with the barrage of questions. While he processed most of them, the last one set off an alarm in his head. If he didn't start speaking she would continue to spiral and her at first innocent questions would grow more specific and graphic.

"Okay, okay.'' Despite the happiness it brought him when they confirmed their relationship, HR was still shocked at the flush brought to his face having to admit that he liked his girlfriend to someone else. It was like he was in grade school all over again. "I guess I would say I grew to like her. Not that there's anything wrong with her, she was just... intimidating at first. And of course I thought she was ho-pretty when I first saw her. It's just her reputation was super scary. But then I got to know her and found out she's really nice and stuff." Real descriptive, HR.

It was at this point that HR recognized the missing sound of his girlfriend inhaling her dinner. He glanced over and saw her staring at him. He saw a strange mixture of happiness and embarrassment on her face with just a touch of the insecurity he saw when he first called her cute. She gestured for him to continue. HR discovered that the only thing more embarrassing than admitting you liked your girlfriend was doing it in front of your girlfriend.

Though he was a tad embarrassed, answering Mai Fan's questions made him feel at ease. She and Lai Chan certainly seemed to like his answers, and there was something calming about the simple "how did you meet' question coming from someone who he'd read about in several newspaper postings. Dinner finished up smoothly and HR was happy that despite the few hiccups in the beginning, he ended up making at least one good impression with a family member.