Learning to Enjoy Sex Again

AN: Rory and Jess have a baby together (about 4-5 months old by this time). They live together, but Jess travels a lot for work. In this story Rory is struggling to get her head straight and start enjoying sex again. With some effort she succeeds.

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Rory was standing in her kitchen, stirring a pot of sweet potato purée in the pot in front of her on the stove. Not exactly a common sight, but it was becoming more and more so, as Rory took up the task each week to precook Em's solid meals for a week. Breastmilk wasn't quite enough for the girl, it seemed and as the pediatrician advised, and Rory wasn't exactly always around to nurse or pump either, still keeping up with a few of her classes to get out of the house. So it did make sense.

The reason she was cooking was that she'd made the mistake of tasting a jar of store bought baby food once, and unless it was made of fruit, she couldn't understand how one might convince a baby to eat something as horrible as that. So she tried her best to cook Em at least some of her food herself, even if even doing something as simple as that had scared her a little at first. She'd already mastered a few porridges and carrot purée before this, and was feeling surprisingly victorious of this small achievement, almost beginning to think that cooking skills must define in part how good of a mother one was, clearly needing some assurance in that part - but she knew better than to go saying something like that to her own mother, naturally.

She was deep in thought, quite liking this meditative procedure, while Em was taking her nap upstairs, when a pair of familiar hands slipped around her hips.

Jess' fingers grazed the warm soft skin of her stomach just under the hem of her top, causing her senses to heighten compared to the former haze she'd been in. She was just wearing a slouchy open sweater, a tank top, which she preferred to wear these days at home, not bothering with an uncomfortable nursing bra because the neckline stretched enough to breastfeed easily, and a comfortable midi skirt that really wasn't one of her sexiest outfits. But she just mostly wore what was clean these days when being around the house, not putting in that much effort.

Her life had been turned upside down in a year, and by now it wasn't even about missing something or comparing Jess to someone else. It was just her new reality - simple as that. She didn't even have the strength in her to even to dream of anything else - she had a baby to care for and Jess was nothing but a thoughtful partner when he was around.

"What's cooking?" he murmured, placing his chin over her shoulder. His husky tone sounded sexy even without trying, she couldn't deny that.

At that Rory took a small spoonful of purée and blew on it a few times, then offered it to Jess to taste, despite it being fairly obvious what she was cooking. It seemed cooler somehow to do that than just reply.

"Needs salt," Jess noted a moment later. "Paprika, pepper and preferably chili too," he added with a clever smirk. He was a pretty good cook, Luke's having not been his only food industry job in his long list of professions before and during his writing career.

"You know she can't have those yet," Rory replied, tilting her head, knowing that Jess probably had just been joking saying that. She'd lost some of her sense of humor to the sleepless nights too, or at least some of her quick wittedness. Or she just didn't feel like laughing much?

Instead of responding, Jess kissed the top of her shoulder, and Rory just knew in that moment what he was after, despite the gesture being quite innocent. There was just something about him that she sensed...

Jess had done everything in his power to wear the baby out that morning, having taken her to a newby daddy and daughter class, where they did baby acrobatics stunts that actually advised not to bring mothers to, as they normally spent more time fretting than noticing how much the babies were enjoying themselves, and let Rory sleep in, take a long shower and enjoy her coffee in peace. What more would a new mother want from her weekend morning, right?

Jess had just been away a week and a half, and was clearly needy for her attention too. He was a man after all. And since just before Christmas, less than a month ago they'd finally gotten over their postpartum dry spell, it really was no wonder he was eager to get it on when he could.

It wasn't even that she didn't have needs, she did, but dodging Jess' advances had almost burnt into her muscle memory in the past few months. Too tired, too achy, too leaky, touched out. She'd caught herself avoiding him even unintentionally sometimes.

Rory stirred the purée a few more times, then placed the pot on the back burner, literally, and turned the stove off. She placed her own hands on top of his, now gently pressing on her abdomen. She used to love when Jess did that, especially when he'd done that back when they'd been in high school. It was almost like the first sensual touch she'd ever experienced, one that sent a jolt through her body, even if at the time it hadn't gone very far.

Jess nudged her neck with his nose, laying another kiss just below. Oh, he definitely wanted some action.

Her muscle memory wanted to dodge him again. But Rory hated that she'd become this person who'd lost the appetite for her partner's touch. What else was there if she couldn't even enjoy that? She knew she once had. She knew that first reaction was not really what he deserved nor something she wanted to become the new normal. She hoped that if she went through the motions enough times she'd get past this, eventually at least. She needed to believe that.

She could even sense Jess' nervousness at initiating this, his touches being so much more careful than they'd once been. A slight nudge, a gentle touch of his fingers, an almost innocent kiss on her skin.

Rory turned, keeping his hands on his forearms, and looked in his dark brown eyes, and she could just see him hope. Fake it till you make it. Rory lifted her arms to his neck and gently stroked it with her thumb, her touch causing some goose bumps. Rory knew this reaction well on him. It was a compliment, I suppose.

Bit her bottom lip, hesitantly.

"I really do think she should be out for a while," Jess replied, his crooked, sexy, smile spelling out his intentions. Not that he needed to.

Rory opened her mouth just enough for her tongue to slip out slightly and kissed him, closing her eyes and trying to picture herself as some former self. One that was bolder, less damaged and feeling more sexy than this. It was a wonder he wanted her at all looking like this.

His grip on her waist and hips fastened, pulling her flush up against him, causing that weak flutter in her stomach. A good sign.

They kissed for a while, Rory just needing to feel more of that flutter. She needed the fluttering to wake up all of her nerve endings, her pituitary gland to start producing endorphins, preferably along with oxytocin.

She could just sense Jess' grin grew wider through the kiss as the kiss gathered courage.

His hands continued to slip under her top, and then down between her skirt and underwear, grabbing her ass, while grinding his groin against her.

She let out a small moan, as he brushed against her clit through the materials. At that his grin faded. What showed now on his face was an expression of carnal hunger. Oh, he was horny alright.

The kiss grew deeper, tongues battling, and Rory let her hands slip under his t-shirt, feeling his hot skin. Her heart pounded against her ribcage.

Jess' shirt soon found its way to the floor. But as a response, Rory turned, leaning against the cabinets on the other side of the kitchen, feeling not quite confident or strong enough to look at him for long, besides it was this position that most often got her off. She knew, however, that Jess usually preferred to look at her more, his favorite actually being when she was on top and him sitting, but she was pretty sure that this time, he would just take what he got.

Rory was surprised, considering her state of mind just minutes ago, how good his quickly stiffening hard-on felt against her ass, as he returned to caress her through the thin layers of clothing.

Rory hiked up her skirt, hastily, still wanting to hurry things along, and let her boring black cotton panties wiggle down her legs, as she felt his hand caress her stomach and ass, his other hand already unzipping and shedding his dark jeans just the same.

"Easy there," Jess soothed, clearly not wanting to hurry it as much as she did.

"I just feel like she might wake," Rory fretted, having that experience in her memory from last time. There were few things that were as frustrating as being pulled away half-way to an orgasm - her first one in months - by that undeniable cry for attention that made a mother's heart weep.

Jess was able to persuade her a little, as he reached his saliva-covered fingers between her folds, stroking her back and forth, for a moment making her forget the initial haste.

"Oh...," she moaned quietly, now feeling like she needed to rest her elbows on the counter, and let him continue his ministrations.

She grinded against his hand, pushing back a little, guiding him. He guided her hips against the counter more, pushing her upright again, wanting to kiss her again, though only managed to do it over her shoulder briefly, Rory's eyes nearly closed, her short-term intentions differing from his. Jess, thankfully didn't pick up on her avoidance right then.

He replaced his need for kissing with kisses along her neck and upper back, his hand pulling the neckline of her tank top down over her breasts, framing them, and gently slid his hands over them, knowing how sensitive they were.

Rory reached back, caressing his member, telling him wordlessly how she just wanted to be fucked by sliding the arousal between her legs. The first penetrations still felt a little raw, this numb pain comparable to one punching through a thin layer of cardboard, but it improved significantly after a few moves. It was just one of the ways her body had changed, and she could only hope this would improve with time.

But she did get into it, and closing her eyes really did help, continuing to bite on her lip and turning her head so he could see a little. Not wanting to admit it, it took a lot of effort to enjoy it as much as she wanted to. She thought of a numerous stories of erotica she'd read, famous scenes in movies, she'd found hot - the one with Eric Northman ravishing a tied up dancer in the basement in 'True Blood'; the forbidden love in 'Adore'; the tension in 'the Secretary'; the exhibistionistic tendencies in 'Shame' and so on. But it did help eventually, just taking a lot of concentration and imagining herself out of this moment. Her imagination together with each thrust gathered a little more momentum, and got her closer to where she wanted to lose herself by the minute.

Jess' hand grasped her sensitive breast, and soon his firm hold grew slippery from the small trail of breast milk leaking from her nipple. But she no longer cared. Her internal walls were rushing with heat and clamping down soon enough as the incessant thumping in his breast filled her senses now.

Jess buried his face into the nape of her neck and it felt like he melted against her as his body became undone, doing its final trembling thrusts. He held her there for a minute, still inside of her, breathing heavily.