Left Alone Ch. 06

After a few more stories and a couple refills of coffee, the boys cleared up the table. Liam stacked each of the plates out of habit while Caleb collected the empty sugar packets and used napkins, forming a neat pile that Hailey sure would thank them for later. They went up to the front and Sal came to meet them at the register. The older man wore the many years he had well, with a big grin that lit up the entire diner.

"You know the point of a day off is that you don't come in." Sal joked as he patted Liam on the shoulder. He towered above the two boys with his head nearly hitting the neon pendant lights that hung above the counter.

"Well I wanted the best breakfast in town and this is the place to get it."

Sal smiled thinking back to that little kid who wandered into his place all those years ago. Time had turned Liam into the closest thing he had to a family this side of the Rockies.

Liam turned towards Caleb who'd been sandwiched between them, watching their interaction. "Sal, I want you to meet someone." He gestured toward the tanned boy, "This is my boyfriend, Caleb."

The younger boy extended his arm in a handshake- nervous about how the old man would react. Sal took them by surprise, forgoing Caleb's handshake and instead pulling him into a hug. It was the way he'd greet one of his usual customers. For him, everyone who stepped foot in here was family and should be treated as such.

Caleb let out a sigh of relief and said, "It's nice to meet you, sir."

Sal let the smaller boy out of his arms, replying, "The pleasure's all mine son. It's about time that punk found someone else to annoy."

Liam laughed, knowing that was the closest he'd get to a compliment from the big guy. Truth was, Sal was the only other person he cared about enough to make him want to come out to. He didn't think he'd had a problem with it at all, but he knew that Sal was old school- picked up from a cattle farm in Dallas by the Army and sent overseas for more tours than your average soldier. He served as a cook all those years and, after retiring, decided to try his luck out west. And so, Sal's Diner was born. What Liam didn't realize was that for Sal, all that mattered was what you brought to the table. He judged people based on how they acted. Liam Holt, in his eyes, was a kid as good as they came who'd been dealt a shitty hand. He wanted nothing more than to see him happy and to go off and make something of himself.

***

The boys left Sal's and walked down Main Street for a few blocks. Caleb looked around, seeing Clover for what it was. At a glance, this part of town looked worn- like the years of grime had finally caught up to this aging neighborhood. Streets once full of ethnic shops and eateries were being vacated in favor of small tech start-ups and every health food craze that was trending this month. But beyond that, he saw a cityscape that was more people than buildings- from cantinas serving fresh pupusas on the side of the road to the streams of children that eased in and out of every mini playground.

Liam led them down to a open park that veered off the main road and managed to mask the surrounding buildings in favor of tall trees and a man-made lake. They strolled just along the banks, walking a comfortable distance away so that their elbows would touch whenever one boy wasn't paying attention to their steps. He pointed out towards the open field at one corner of the park. "My dad and I used to come out here every weekend and we'd spend hours playing catch. This was before he got laid off- when all I had was his hand-me-down glove and a tattered baseball with the red stitches nearly undone. Even so, those were some of the best afternoons I could remember."

"It's funny how things always seem to have a bigger impact when we look back on them. It's all those little, unassuming moments that stay ingrained in your memories, you know?"

Liam nodded, kicking loose rocks out of his way with his signature dirty white converse. "Do you have any memories like that?"

"A bunch." The boy replied, as a smile formed at his face. "When I was younger, my dad was the main one who cooked in our house. He worked hard, but always made it home before six to get dinner started. And then we'd eat together: huddled at the end of the dining table, talking about our days with no toys or TV or BlackBerries."

"That sounds nice. When did those stop?"

"After my Grandfather died." He replied, slowing his pace a bit. "When we got back after the funeral, my dad took it hardest out of all of us. He spent a lot of years trying to give them a better life- sending money when he could, visiting and even buying them a house." He sighed, "I think for him, Lolo's death meant that he'd run out of time."

Liam stopped for a second, hearing the laughter of children coming from a distance. He looked over at the younger boy, offering, "Look Caleb, it sounds like your dad's still got some stuff to work out." He reached for his hands and the other boy gave in without question. "But you still have time. It might be too late for me and my dad, but yours is still around and it seems like he really cares about you."

Caleb held onto that thought for a few minutes. Deep down, past the anger and disappointment he felt for his father, he knew that there was more to him than what he'd seen. There were glimpses- times when his dad was more than the ghost of a family member that was missed more times than he was around. But it wasn't always like that. He remembered the better times, and the hope of getting those back were enough to keep him from giving up.

"He comes back this week and I've honestly been dreading it for a while. But I think I owe it to myself to give it another shot with him." He held onto Liam's hands, hopeful.

The older boy released his hands and wrapped them around Caleb's narrow waist. He dug his hands so far in, betting that cotton shirt wasn't enough to keep them at bay. Caleb swung his arms around, hugging him gently as Liam rested his head on the boy's shoulder. They pulled off a few seconds later and Caleb noticed the wide smile that Liam had on.

"What's got you so happy?"

The older boy shrugged, "Nothing-" he grinned, "You." He leaned forward and kissed Caleb on the cheek out there in the open. He didn't even look around to see if anyone was watching.

"Today's just a good day."

***

The boys finished off their weekend together cuddled up in Liam's tiny bed, exploring all of the hidden gems in Clover and mostly just talking. The older boy often found it strange, how easily words just rolled off his tongue when Caleb was around. With most people, he could see that shell around his personality enclose him, until only streaks of light past through- enough to exchange pleasantries and make him seem more like a person and less like a hermit. But that's essentially what he was- a boy so closed off from that world that meaningful relationships weren't worth anything to him. He loved their meandering conversations and how Caleb's brain worked like a getaway car that interchanged lanes so quickly because sticking to one topic was too mundane. It took him a while to get used to how often the boy would get derailed while telling a story, and Liam found himself enjoying reeling him back just as much as he loved the small tangents that persisted. He also loved their comfortable silence- how they could spend hours together working on opposite sides of the boy's room with only a small glance or a brush against one's clothed body in between pages to let the other know their presence was known. With Caleb it didn't feel like work.

Clover was folded into their routine too. Before that weekend, Lakeshore was the mainstay for any time they wanted to hang out. But once Liam let the younger boy into his world, it was like another region of possibility that unfolded before them. He loved the coziness of that small apartment and how Liam was the most himself when they were walking down a busy street or huddled up next to each other scarfing down Mrs. Diaz's pupusas or a bowl of Mr. Chen's five dollar bowl of pho.

The week flew by fast. Liam had been hard at work, painting a landscape for his art class that Mr. Frost had been urging him to pursue. Painting wasn't his medium of choice and even as he worked on that large stretch of canvas, the paint brush in his hand and a nearby palette of washed out colors seemed so foreign. But it was all to diversify his skills, the teacher reminded. Last week he'd let it slip that he was looking at a degree in the arts and ever since then, Mr. Frost had been throwing every medium at him, hoping to get the boy's feet as wet as possible. He'd seem promise in a kid like Liam and he knew that with a little pushing, he could go on to do something he was passionate about. So he continued his work, dabbing at the canvas in short, but distinct strokes. It was barely half finished and Liam had painted it in such a way that anyone who passed by wouldn't be able to make it out. But he knew what it would be in the end. He planned this panoramic shot of his favorite spot just above the hills with a vibrant Lakeshore painted in bright pastels while Clover gloomed on the other side in muted greys and beiges. He'd finish it off with a silhouette of himself standing just at the middle, almost as if he was the border between the two worlds. Still for now, the canvas was nothing more a dozen or so brush strokes that barely made contact with each other. It was still a work in progress.

Saturday came and Liam found himself huddled up in bed, lazily forcing himself to get his day started. He hadn't heard much from Caleb over the past two days. He mentioned during lunch on Wednesday that his dad would be coming back late Thursday night and that his mom thought it would be a good idea to call in sick so they could spend Friday together as a family. Liam was vocal about how he thought it could be a great opportunity to ease back into some sense or normalcy- a thought that the younger boy accepted but was still hesitant about. They managed to text on and off that day- pretty much whenever Caleb was able to sneak away or when Liam took a break from fixing milkshakes at his afternoon shift. Later that night, Caleb even waited for his parents to fall asleep so he could call his boy on the phone and talk about their day until their voices grew soft and tiredness took over. He stayed on for a few minutes after Liam had fallen asleep, listening to the boy's soft breaths before finally disconnecting.

***

Liam drove his Charger up to his favorite spot with a sketchbook and some graphite pencils covering his passenger seat. He wanted to sketch out more of the skyline and get as much of a mental picture as he could for the next time he'd be able to work on his piece. He must have seen those buildings a hundred times in his life, but he needed to get them just right for this.

As he got closer to the clearing, he saw another car parked there. It wasn't until he made it past the few remaining trees that he recognized Caleb's jeep, perched along the hill like a black diamond shining in the sky. He pulled up beside it and saw Caleb get to his feet as he got off the soft grass and faced the older boy.

"I'm sorry for coming here. I know this is your spot- I just needed some place to think."

Liam pulled the boy into a hug, hooking his hands together above the small of his back. He took in that signature scent of vanilla and accepted Caleb's warmth like a it was the only thing saving him from hypothermia.

"Don't be sorry. I'm happy this place can be that for you." He planted a soft kiss at the boy's quivering lips. "Mostly I'm just glad to see you."

"Yeah?" Caleb asked, breathing out his worry.

Liam nodded, "I missed you."

Caleb tickled at his side, feeling the older boy squirm in his hands, "You're getting soft on me, Holt."

Liam regained composure, playfully biting at the boy's smooth jaw with the smallest amount of pressure on his teeth.

"I missed you too." He finally admitted.

Liam reached into the car for his sketchbook before taking a seat on the soft grass. Caleb followed suit, sitting with his legs crossed next to the boy while leaning back on the bumper of his Jeep. It was how he was sitting before Liam come along, but this felt a million times better.

"So why'd you come up here?"

"I just needed some time away from my parents." He turned to the older boy, "Don't get me wrong, it's been nice having them both around. But after being alone for a while it just feels like too much too quickly. Mom's been cooking a lot and talking about things she wants to do to the house while Dad's been making plans of a family trip up to Tahoe or a weekend in Santa Barbara." His voice choked a bit, "How can they just make all these plans so easily when they were barely around before."

Liam shrugged. He couldn't speak for the boy's parents or why they did what they did. All he knew was that hope- as dangerous and as misleading as it is- is sometimes all we got.

"Honestly Caleb. I know that it may seem like overcompensating now, but maybe you just have to trust them. Maybe they actually want to do all those things and follow through with every single one of them."

He nodded. "Things have been so good lately" he squeezed Liam's hand mid-sentence, "that I hope it'll be different with them this time."

Liam let the comfortable silence fill the space as he looked over at the cityscape.

"I told them about wanting to be a writer" Caleb said, almost slipping that monumental fact in between breaths. The older boy's eyes grew wide as he continued, "Last night at dinner. My dad made some comment about preparing for college and I just laid everything out- told him that I'm deciding between English or Journalism,"

"And what did he say?"

"He was surprised at first- started off by saying how he always thought I wanted to go into Business like him." Caleb exhaled, "Halfway through I think he realized that I never wanted to that- he just simply wanted that for me. Towards the end I could see it in his face- the way he was trying to figure out every possible outcome. And as we were clearing the dishes, he told me that he had to think about it."

Caleb looked over at the older boy whose face was shining in the morning sun. He held onto his hand, affirming, "That's probably the best response I'll get from him."

"At least he's giving it some serious thought. What did your mom say?"

"She sat me down after dinner and said that she'd talk to him. She supports me- I know that much."

"You don't know how proud I am of you." Liam said, letting those sweet words roll off his tongue like fresh honey. He smiled as Caleb straddled his thighs and sat down on his lap. Both boys wished that they didn't have two stretches of denim separating their warm bodies.

Caleb planted a soft kiss on Liam's cheek, "If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have figured out what I really wanted."

Liam thought about how impeding graduation was and the possibility of college. He still had a month or two to see if he'd be getting out of this town, and a list of doubts that rivaled the tallest skyscraper in Dubai. But if Caleb could be that courageous, he knew nothing would stop him from doing everything he could.

Caleb's body twitched as Liam ran his hands under the boy's shirt, ticking his flat stomach. He rocked back and forth as the older boy attacked his neck with soft, playful kisses that left him laughing so hard, he wondered if it could echo from the overlook. Liam kissed at his cheek before whispering into his ear, almost like he was singing.

"I like me better when I'm with you."