- Romance
- Let It Be Me
- Page 3
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Click here"I'm so with you, Amy. One hundred percent. I've thought a lot about you through the years. Sometimes I even fantasized about meeting up with you in situations like this and then dating once again. I'm not much for the paranormal, but I can't help but think that somehow meeting you here like this is more than just coincidence."
"Well, ya know what? I do believe in the paranormal, things that happen that can't be fully explained, things that happen for a reason. I think there are forces at work beyond our control, beyond what can be proved scientifically. Fate brought us together on that Friday night long ago and fate seems to be at work now. Like you said, what are the odds?"
You embrace once again, and this time the one long kiss turns into a parking lot make-out, standing by your cars under a fading sun on a late, warm afternoon that seems to get warmer by the second. 'If something seems too good to be true...' Sure, that age-old adage crosses your mind, but you don't care. You're old enough not to care that much what might or might not happen beyond this amazing moment. Being middle-age has enlightened you to how short life really is, and you're determined to grab all the good things that come your way, and what's happening with your former girlfriend--and perhaps future girlfriend--is one of those things to be grabbed, if not cherished.
"You're place or mine?" you say after parting. You say that in jest. Well, half in jest, because doing this with Amy gets a serious rise out of you.
She cups a hand to her forehead, then blows out a deep breath. "Whew! Neil, if I didn't have plans with my daughter, I'd go wherever you say."
You exchange cell numbers, another long kiss and then she begins to sing a line of that song you know so well: "'So, never leave me lonely...' Come on, Neil, join me."
"So, never leave me lonely, say that you love me only, and that you'll always...let it be me..."
- COMMENTS
BreathyWhisper4 months agoThis was my first read on here, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I don't think your choice of second person narration was off putting, I thought it seemed natural. Bonus points for the use of oldies, I'm a sucker for nostalgia.
trigudis5 months agoAuthorThis was indeed an "experiment" into the risky business of second person narratives. I'm not surprised by some of the negative reactions here. In fact, I expected them. I tried it because to me, it seemed to fit my mindset at the time. I could feel myself writing it that way even before putting down the first sentence.
Anonymous5 months agoSecond person is fine for an experiment. A steady diet in second person would make for unsatisfying reading. I falls between the stools of immediacy and omniscience and, in my opinion at least, is less compelling as storytellers device than either first or third party. It seems a bit Hallmarky but nonetheless, it was a tale well told, and deserves 5*s.
