Letter To The Familybyelphaba69©
I can't handle all of the fighting all it does make me stressed out and I hate it. I know that we all have our differences but I think it is about time we all hashed them out in a civilized way instead of just screaming at each other all the time. I know that this is not going to be an easy conversation for any of us to have but if we do not have it soon it will become even more uncomfortable. I f we do not talk soon it is just going to put a giant wedge in our family and I do not want that.
I don't know how to explain how I feel to everyone here. All I know is that leaving my feelings bottleed up inside is only causing me harm. I am tired of living my life walking on egg shells around everyone. I'm sick of feeling like I have to watch everything I say.
Everyone says I need to grow-up but how can I grow up when everyone here still treats me as I'm a little kid. I don't need everything done for me. I appreciate everything done for me but it is time for you to let this bird fly.
Many would say that I bring this treatment on myself because I just let it happen, I may agree with those people that to an extent I do. I am so used to being catered to that even at twenty- nine it just feels almost too comfortable to give up. This is going to be an adjustment for all of us. I know that it will all take some time for us toget used to but it is also time for a serious change in my life.
I hate that you guys blame someone else for my sudden surge of independence. I hate that no around here has been able to see that this has been brewing for a while. He has just been the catalyst of it all. You have not realized that it has been in the back of my head . I don't like that him being blamed for it all. I just wish that all of us could get along.
I feel like because of the choices that I have made my family and I have becone extremely divided. It makes me sick to think after so many years, I make a few decisions tht they do not agree with and the great divide has occurred. While I know that I have gone about this in the wrong way, I would just hope that everyone could look past what I have done and see my reasoning behind it all. I do not know if I can repair the damage that has been done. If this can not be repaired, I do not have a clue what I will do.
Everyone makes mistakes in their lives, the key at least in my eyes is how they handle the aftermath of their errors. A person who claims that they are perfect and that they have never made a mistake in their entire life is a liar. The first and most important step is admitting you have made a mistake. You can not fix a problem if you do not first admit that you have one.
So let me start by apologizing for the way that I went about things. There were many harsh things that were said and done that should have been. Instead of thinking I just did exactly what I wanted to do damn what anyone else thought and that was beyond wrong. If I want to change things around here I first have to talk instead of being rebellious and snotty. I need to consider other people instead of just myself and understand they have feelings as well. I need to think instead of saying something that I may regret at a later date.
While I know that things were said and done that caused damage that probably can never be repaired, I truly hope that some day in the future we can be the family we once were. I hope some day we can think of all the good times that we had before all this happened and smile. I know that it will take a while for us to mend the broken connections but I am one hundred percent willing to try if everyone else here is willing to give it a shot. I hope some day in the not so distant future, you can forgive me for the way I went about things and that we once again become one big happy family.