Letters to Claire

Marnie reached over for the condom. She handed it to me, and I tore it open and rolled it onto my dick. I climbed on top of her and lay between her legs, not penetrating but not doing anything to stop it if it happened. We kissed some more. I nuzzled her breasts through her shirt, seeking the smell of milk and the soft, warm feel of breasts.

Marnie tilted her hips in a way that made me shift and once more the crown of my cock slipped inside her. I held the position for a few seconds, savouring the feel of being partly-in. I wanted to fuck her hard, to hold her down and just ram it inside her, but waiting was amazing. It was excruciating but arousing. She was wet, really wet, and I was so hard you could have hung a towel off it.

I eased inside slowly. She moaned and gripped my biceps, her head tilted back and her eyes closed. Her legs were tightly pressed against mine, holding me inside her, and if I could have taken her shirt and bra off, everything would have been perfect.

We began to fuck. She didn't lay beneath me and simply let me screw her, she got involved. She moved her hips in time with mine, she kissed me, and she ran her hands all over my body. We began to work up a sweat. I grabbed at her breasts through her shirt, squishing them, enjoying them.

Marnie's hands were on my butt again, driving me deep inside her. I wanted to see her climax. I thought that if I could keep going, then maybe I stood a chance.

I was confident I wouldn't orgasm too quickly, but it was a false confidence. I was squeezing her tits when I felt a warm, wetness, and saw a damp patch appear. She was leaking.

I leant down, sucked on the milk through the material. It tasted sweet, like the ultimate forbidden fruit. I was sexually excited beyond all measure and with my mouth around her nipple and my cock buried deep in her cunt, I came harder than I would have ever thought possible.

~~~~~~~~~

Despite Marnie's embarrassment at having leaked milk, she recovered sufficiently to let me finger her to orgasm. I would have gone down on her, but I knew from experience that if I'd asked she'd likely have said 'no'. The women I picked up generally didn't want my face in their cunt. Eating pussy was personal.

I left her and the kids at home the following day so I could run into town to pick up the supplies I needed for Dad's house. I also wanted to get her a short-sleeved shirt or two. She'd bought short-sleeved sleep shirts with her, but only long sleeves for during the day. She'd been adamant about hiding her tattoos, but I knew she'd gotten hot yesterday, and today was only destined to reach higher temps, so I figured I'd just buy her a few.

Claire had hated upmarket maternity wear, claiming that Target and Kmart actually made better quality, more comfortable clothes, so that was where I went. I expected to get questioned.

Nobody asked what I was doing, or questioned my motives. I found a few shirts, a pair of shorts and a skirt. I'd checked the tags on her clothing and was confident I had the size right, but the shorts and skirt had stretchy waists, just in case the sizing was a bit off. I still felt guilty, though. What pervert goes into the maternity section and starts imagining a woman wearing a nursing top, and pulling the front down to expose full, hard breasts with leaking nipples?

I knew all the mantras. Breast milk is best for babies. Men shouldn't sexualise boobs. The worst part was that the more I tried not to be excited by it, the more excited I was. It was a truly perverse situation.

I shoved the bag of clothes into the back seat of my ute and drove to the plumbing supplies store. There's nothing like lengths of PVC and poly, washers and taps, that calm a man down.

By the time I arrived, I was feeling more like myself. My mind was on the work I wanted to get done at Dad's house, not Marnie, and that helped. Plus, I wanted some pretty out of the ordinary bits and bobs so was preparing for a 'sorry mate, we'll have to order it in', but by some miracle, when I went inside I managed to get all but one item I was after.

On the way back to my ute, I heard someone call my name. I turned around to see Ryan's father. Fuck, I thought. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

'Neal,' he said walking over. 'I thought it was you.'

We shook hands.

'How're you going?' I asked.

'Not bad, not bad. How's the new job?'

We talked about my job, living in Ipswich, and his job and family. At some point I mentioned having bought a friend back to the farm with me, and his eyebrows raised.

'A lady friend?' he asked.

'I, uh... yeah. Kinda.'

'I'm really happy for you mate, really happy,' he said. He patted me on the shoulder. 'How did you meet her?'

'We work together. She runs the school canteen. We got sent to dig potatoes out of the school gardens because the kids were getting swooped me a magpie.'

'And they figured you two were expendable?'

'Must've,' I replied with a laugh. 'Dunno what that says about either of us, but she's a good woman. She might come to her senses sooner or later, but I'm hoping not.'

He looked uncomfortable, and I wondered if I'd said the wrong thing. Maybe I'd seemed too enthusiastic. He was related to Claire's family, albeit distantly, and I thought that perhaps he felt I was moving on too soon, but then he opened his mouth and explained his reaction.

'You don't want to help my son find a good woman, do you?' he asked. 'The fucking numpty's back with Georgina.'

'Yeah, I heard that,' I agreed.

'Are you and Ryan catching up while you're in town?'

'I, uh, yeah, I don't think so,' I replied.

'Busy with the lady,' he guessed.

'Nah, it's not just that. I suppose you heard the rumour about me apparently assaulting Georgie?'

The expression on his face told me he hadn't. 'You what?'

I shrugged uneasily. 'Yeah, well, she reckons I was a bit too rough with her.'

'In what circumstances?'

I couldn't tell him. Telling my own father was one thing. Telling Ryan's was quite another. He was a smart man, though, canny, and he nodded slowly, understanding dawning.

'She was carrying on with bullshit,' he guessed.

'Yep.'

'Neal,' he said. 'Can you do me a favour?'

'Yeah, sure.'

'Have a beer with my son. Try and get through to him. He's just quit his latest job without notice so he can hang around Georgie, because he knows if he leaves town, she'll be spreading her legs for someone else, then ringing him to let him know. I know his boss has been calling him, trying to get him to come back, but Georgie has something over him and if I say one word against her, he just shuts down and tells me to fuck off, it's his life and he'll live it how he sees fit.' He sighed tiredly. 'I'm fucking sick of it, mate. Sooner or later he's going to find himself unemployable.'

It wasn't the sort of request I could say 'no' to.

'I can try,' I offered. 'As I said, though, Georgie won't let him have anything to do with me, so he might just say 'no'.'

'Thanks Neal. I appreciate it. You always were the peacemaker in your family, the one who could keep everyone calm and talking. If there's anyone that can make Ryan face reality, it's you.'

I thought he was pretty optimistic. We'd all tried giving Ryan hints. Some of us had even been blunt. The end result had always been the same, though; Georgie threw Ryan a crumb, and back he went, thinking the loaf was on offer.

We said out good-byes and I headed back to the farm. It was eleven thirty when I arrived, and already hot. Marnie and the kids were playing hide and seek. The baby was in the sling. Sweat stuck the back of Marnie's shirt to her body.

'Marnie,' I said. 'I got you something while I was out.'

'You got me something? What? Why?'

I handed her the bag of clothes. 'You're making me hot just looking at you, and trust me, nobody gives a shit about your tattoos. Hopefully some of the shirts fit you.'

She peered inside the bag. 'You shouldn't have done this.'

I shrugged. 'But I did.'

'I'll repay you.'

'No, don't. They're a present. So far, I'm yet to even buy you dinner. I invited you to my old man's house and you bought half your pantry with you, and Dad supplied the rest of the food in the house, so it's probably time I made a contribution.'

She tried to frown and glare. 'You're not supposed to do this.'

I gestured to the bedroom door. 'Go and try them on. Make sure at least one shirt fits.'

Marnie headed to the bedroom. 'I'll try them on, if you can 'find' Luther and Edie. They're both in the laundry, but they'll be disappointed if you find them too early and will freak out if you take too long.'

'I'll find the happy medium,' I promised.

While Marnie was trying on clothes, and I was trying to find the boys, I did the right thing and sent a text to Ryan.

I'm in town for the next few days. Want to catch up?

I felt the tone was easy, low pressure, and utterly non-accusing, even though I was still pissed with him. If I'd climbed, naked, into bed with Georgie and propositioned her with a dick still wet from another woman's cunt, and then refused to budge when told to fuck off, I could have -- rightly -- expected a bit more than for her to grab my arm and order me to get dressed.

I shoved my phone in my pocket and went to find Luther and Edie. Of all the games you can play with a kid, hide and seek is my favourite. It's just a pity that you can't leave them to hide for a good half hour so you can have some peace and quiet.

'Neal,' Marnie said.

I turned around. Marnie was standing in front of me, in a stretchy black skirt and green top.

'How do I look?' She asked.

'Like you're not going to die of heat exhaustion,' I replied. 'I'd say more, but it'd incriminate me.'

She gently swatted me on my bum. 'You can say whatever you want. I owe you one. Thanks.'

We gave each other a quick kiss. If there were no children around, I would have taken her off to the bedroom and fucked her stupid.

'Dad!' Luther called. 'I'm in the laundry! Come and find me!'

~~~~~~~~~~

Ryan didn't respond to my text. I knew he'd read it, because my phone kindly told me the message had been viewed. I considered calling him, then decided against it. I'd call him later, maybe after Marnie had gone home.

The kids were tired that night and all of them were asleep by seven. I thought for sure they'd wake up at seven-thirty or eight o'clock, and Marnie thought the same, so we were sitting in the lounge area watching television, talking and eating chips and dip, just killing time until we were called upon for duty.

I hadn't realised how much I missed having a woman in my life, someone to spend time with, and to help me get through the usual muddle of life with a young kid. Marnie was easy to hang out with and with few, minor exceptions, we seemed to be able to run a house and look after the kids without running into any dramas. With her around, dinners became something to anticipate rather than dread and a shower could take as long as I wanted it to.

I hoped that I was helping her, too, and making things easier. I was going to take Edith and Luther to a zoo the following morning to give Marnie some down time. I'd offered to take Jasmine as well, but Marnie had said she wouldn't last longer than a few hours without wanting to feed.

'I'm starting to think they're not going to wake up,' she remarked.

'Yeah, me too.'

She poked at the top of one of her boobs and winced. 'Thanks for getting me those shirts and skirt. I really appreciate it.'

'It's no problem. Nobody's going to judge you, and if they do, too bad.'

'I just don't want to start out on the wrong foot. I don't want your family looking at me and thinking 'who the hell is she and why did he take her home?''

'I know, but if they're going to act that way because of a little ink, then they really wouldn't be worth impressing. None of your tattoos are offensive or racist or anything.'

She leant forward and kissed me. 'You're a sweetie.'

I tried to keep kissing her, but she pulled away.

'Sorry, but if Jasmine's going to stay asleep, I need to express some milk or I'm going to get mastitis,' she said. 'I won't be long. I'll just go to the bathroom.'

'What do you do with the milk?'

The question surprised her. Maybe it was a surprising question.

'I just tip it down the sink,' she replied. 'Jasmine won't take a bottle.'

'What if she does wake up? What will you give her?'

'I'm only going to be removing a bit, just to make it comfortable for me. If she wakes up there will still be enough for her. She fed a lot over the past few days, so I guess my production's just amped up, and now she's back to normal levels, my body needs to adjust.'

'If you take some out, won't your body think that she still wants lots of milk, and keep producing it?'

Marnie wasn't sure how to react. 'Did your wife breastfeed Luther at all?'

'Only for a few weeks.'

'I see,' she said. 'I'm not having a go at you, you just seem really curious about it.'

'Yeah, nah... well, yeah. Sorry.'

We were both embarrassed. It was like when I was young and still learning how to have sex. I'd made some excruciating mistakes. Now I was making some more.

'I'll go and take care of myself,' she said. 'Back in a second.'

I flopped onto the couch and tried to figure out what lies I should tell to try and convince her I was a normal man, with a normal level of interest in breasts, and not some weirdo with an unnatural fascination with lactation.

As I was rehearsing a few statements and questions, Marnie came back into the loungeroom. She was topless, wearing nothing but her sleep shorts. Her breasts were huge, hard and full, and in the middle of her areola were short, thick nipples.

'I'm getting the feeling you want to see this,' she said nervously. 'So, uh, yeah... this is it.'

I jumped to my feet and tried not to stare at her boobs. I tried desperately to look her in the eyes as I apologised once more.

'You don't have to show me,' I said. 'It's just...'

'...yeah, I know,' she replied. 'But you keep looking, and trying to touch them, and asking questions... You said there's no judgement about my tattoos. Well, there's no judgement about this. I feel weird about it, too. I'm not sure what the rules are supposed to be. But I think we can figure it out together, and work out what we're both comfortable with.'

I gazed at her milk-filled breasts. They were magnificent. I wanted so badly to touch them, and to suck her nipples. Instead, I hugged and kissed her. She returned the hug, but within seconds she was leaking, and she tried to pull away.

'It's okay,' I told her. 'It's not a problem.'

She forced a smile. She was so pretty and oh fuck, I really, really liked her. I'd known I got lucky with Claire, to find a woman that I was attracted to actually liked and respected as a person, and I hadn't assumed I'd be so lucky second time around, but here I was, with a woman I was crazy about.

'If I could tell you how much I like you without sounding like a fuckwit, I would,' I said, kissing her forehead. 'I just want to look at you and touch you and spend time with you.'

'The kids wouldn't allow that,' she joked.

'They're asleep for now,' I said. 'But seeing as your shirt is off, do you want to come to my room, just in case they wake up?'

She nodded. 'Okay.'

We went to my room. She led the way, I followed. As we went, I took off my shirt. It wasn't that the wet patches bothered me, but I wanted skin on skin contact with her.

'I'm going to keep leaking now,' she said, turning around. She was holding her boobs in her hands. 'Maybe we should get a towel.'

'Did you end up expressing?'

Marnie shook her head. 'No.'

'Okay, well.' I chewed my bottom lip. 'Let me try to help. Lie down. Don't worry about leaking.'

Marnie laid down on the bed. While she was easing herself into position, she had to move her hands from her breasts. I'd always thought milk kind of squirted out of boobs, but it was dripping from her nipples, like water from a tap. The sight and scent were intoxicating. I was already rock hard, but Marnie was too self conscious to have noticed.

I laid down next to her and brushed a hand away from a breast. Both her nipple and hand were wet with milk, and I held her wrist as I licked her palm clean, before lowering my mouth to her exposed tit. My tongue was just resting against her nipple, barely applying any suction, and the milk flowed freely.

'It comes out easily at the beginning,' she said.

I lifted my head up to look at her. 'It's fucking amazing. I know why Jazz doesn't want a bottle.'

'You suck differently to her. It feels different.'

'Bad?'

She shook her head, her cheeks stained pink. 'No. No, not bad. But there's a definite difference between how a child breastfeeds and what it is that you're doing.'

Marnie had been holding the breast I hadn't been attending to. I repeated what I did to the first boob; pulled her hand away, licked it clean, then attended to the nipple. It was both erotic and comforting to be nestled to a warm bosom, feeding from a woman. It was so much more natural than I'd thought it would be, more innate and instinctive, and it occurred to me that it was probably a lot less fucked up to drink a human woman's milk than a cow's milk.

The doubts and guilt began to slip away. I sucked from one tit, then the next, alternating between the two. She had a hand resting on the back of my head, stroking my hair. We both wanted this. The milk got thicker and began to taste a little different, and the hardness of her boobs yielded to softness. It wasn't just dripping out anymore, either, I had to squeeze her breast and suck hard. That's when I stopped feeding from her. I needed to leave enough for the baby.

I took off her shorts and underwear. I'd tasted one part of her, and now I wanted another. With her milk on my breath, I spread her pussy lips and tasted the wetness of her cunt. It was another kind of incredible.

The tang of her juices sluiced through the thickness of her milk, like I'd been eating ice-cream and had switched to tinned peaches or strawberries, something sweet and tart, but not rich. I held her thighs, burying my face between her legs, not letting her get away, even when she began to twitch and her muscles tightened.

The grip she had on my hair was no longer motherly or affectionate. I kept going, trapped in a hot, humid environment where breathing was a struggle but the rewards worthwhile because I knew what the end result would be.

Marnie came, and the way she held me, and the way she cried out, was so reminiscent of Claire that it shocked me. Both had the peculiar habit of twisting my head to the right, and the same, guttural moans.

I let her finish. I was frantic by this point, and I can barely remember getting a condom, but I must've got one, because I had one on when I pushed inside her.

'Fuck,' she whispered reverently. 'You're so good.'

I tried to make it last. I wanted it to last forever. But Mother Nature can be unkind, and she was a ruthless bitch that night. I was done in minutes.

Marnie stroked my back afterwards. She kissed my neck. She muttered something, but I didn't quite hear it. I asked her to repeat herself and she said it was nothing. It was only then that my brain made sense of the jumbled words she'd said, and I realised she'd said 'I love you'.

I was glad I'd missed it. I wasn't quite ready for that, not yet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following day passed without incident. We were getting tired, though. Not sleeping in our own beds and sticking to our usual rhythms was messing with us, and when Marnie fell asleep while putting Jasmine to bed, I was disappointed but not surprised.