Lexxy Baby Pt. 06

With a knowing snicker, Toni said, "Well...that answers that question."

Monique sucked her teeth loudly and huffed irritably. In an effort to sound aloof, she said, "Whatever! He can do what he wants. We're just friends."

"Right." Toni said with humorous sarcasm, noting Monique's rising annoyance. "You keep telling yourself that."

Monique had an urge to lash out at her friend for butting her nose into her business. She wanted to tell Toni to go fuck herself, to stop being so pushy all the fucking time. But she stopped herself because she realized that she wasn't even angry at her.

They both knew what she was really pissed about.

Monique let out a sigh, like she was exhaling this misplaced anger she was holding on to. With honesty now in her voice, she asked the question that'd been plaguing her since she left Alex at the gym yesterday.

"When did I start having feelings for him?"

Knowingly, Toni answered, "You've liked him for a while, sweetie. It was easy to see."

"What do you mean?"

Looking back over the history of their conversations where Alex started popping up, Toni said, "Well, I've never met this Lexxy guy..."

"Alex." Monique interrupted rudely.

"Fine. Fine." She relented, noting her friend's annoyance at anyone using her pet name. She continued, "I've never met Alex, but I know almost everything about him. Well...everything you know, at least. I also know that you feel a connection to him that you've never felt before. You're the same way with him that you are with me; yourself. No hiding behind your pretty face or that banging body you've got going on."

"You know all that?" Monique said skeptically.

"Yep. You talk about him all the time. 'Lexxy said something that was so funny' or 'This is me and Lexxy's new TV show'. And now, you over here getting all mad 'cuz your little friend found him someone else to play with."

Monique's mind traveled backwards over the past year, trying to find the moment that things started to turn around for MoLex. She searched helplessly but came up short.

With Trey, she knew the exact moment she wanted him. His smell, that smile, the way he walked...all of it exploded around her creating their connection. That "spark" was more like the big bang going off in her universe.

But it wasn't like that with Alex. There was no "spark". Fluttery butterflies didn't do somersaults in her tummy when he called her.

Things with him was more like sunlight in an already formed universe. She enjoyed him, needed him, and depended on him in a way that couldn't be replaced.

Nevertheless, she didn't get the "feels" for him. That unfettered lust was replaced with something more...substantial. It was subtle so she didn't recognize it for what it was, but in hindsight she realized that it was way more real than anything she had with Trey.

"You're right." Monique said with resignation. A sad sigh escaped her. "And now, he's probably cooking his new bitch bacon and eggs while watching Game of Thrones. He's not thinking about me."

Toni chuckled. "Girl, that boy ain't going nowhere! Right now, he's settling for second best. If you'd been honest with yourself and gave him the time of day, this girl wouldn't have stood a chance. All you have to do now is let him know how you feel, give him a piece of that chocolate thunder between your legs, and go collect your man."

"Toni!"

"What? Am I too X-rated for your little PG-13 ears, Pollyanna?"

"You're such a dick." Monique said, giggling at her friend.

"Well...you know what they say. You are what you suck."

"Um...That's eat."

"I like getting my pussy ate too."

This was why Monique loved this woman. How can anyone be down and upset around her? Like Alex, she was able to make any dark situation a little brighter with just the right joke, or just the right gesture. And between all the sexual humor and nasty talk, the advice she gave was real.

"I love you, girl." Monique said, genuine appreciation warming her heart.

"Ditto."

The conversation didn't last too much longer because a text came through Monique's phone. It was from Lexxy.

Happy B-day to the best trainer on the planet!

"I guess his little date is finally over." She thought bitterly, though it was mixed with elation that she wasn't forgotten.

After a short goodbye, she hung up with her friend. Then, she dialed Lexxy's number. It would have probably been wiser to wait until she was feeling less salty about their situation, but she didn't.

"Hey, birthday girl!" he greeted her cheerfully when he picked up.

"So, you finally remembered me?" she snapped.

"What? Of course, I remembered you!"

She harrumphed and said, "So why are you just calling me?"

"You know it's only, like, 8:30...right?" He replied with a snigger.

"Whatever!"

Alex had to shake his head about his overdramatic friend. Not even concerned with her attitude, he asked, "So, you have plans for today?"

"I don't know. You send your little play date home yet?"

Alex was a bit slow at times, but even he was picking up the vibes. With humored surprise, he asked, "Wait a minute...are you jealous?"

"Boy, please!" she denied, though it was a little too vehemently.

Confused, he asked, "Why are you so angry?"

"I'm not angry! I'm just disappointed that everyone else on the planet wished me a happy birthday before I got one from you! Hell, even Trey's lying ass did it!"

Remembering that name from their conversations, Alex's ears instantly perked up. "Trey? That's your ex, right? The one you were crying over in my car that first night?"

"Yep. The guy who broke my heart greeted me before you. What does that say about us?"

Hearing her compare him to her ex did something inside of Alex. Not only did he feel indignant and unfairly judged, but it also made him feel a bit jealous and insecure.

He sardonically answered, "I thought that me organizing some days off for you to rest was my birthday wishes to you. I didn't realize that I also had to wake up at the crack of dawn to get to you before your lowlife ex took another shot at you!"

"Well, maybe if you didn't stay up all night with that bitch, you would've been able to wake up earlier!"

"So, you are jealous!" he snapped back with an indignant snicker. "Well, let me tell you something, Mo. I'm not your boyfriend. You made that perfectly clear. You don't get to put 'boyfriend' restrictions on me while keeping me as a 'friend'. You don't wanna date me, but you expect to be the only woman in my life. Well, screw you! I'm not your lapdog who's gonna sit at home and wait for you!"

Cutting in, she said, "I have never treated you like a lapdog!"

"Well, that's what it feels like!"

The two went back to their corners to lick their wounds, preparing for the next round. They both got quiet for a moment; so quiet that Alex thought she hung up on him.

"Hello?"

"I'm still here, Alex." She answered.

As much as she wanted to feel like the victim in this situation, she couldn't deny the fact that he was right. She was being unfair to him.

With a sigh, she said, "I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. That's the last thing I wanted."

Having her acknowledge his feelings instead of coming back out swinging took the heat out of his anger. In a calmer voice, he said, "Thank you."

There was another pause in the conversation, like she was finding the words that were needed. After a few ticks, her voice was just above a whisper as she said, "You're important to me, Lexxy. I don't wanna be replaced in your life."

"No one is ever gonna replace you, Mo." He replied sincerely.

She had to admit, she felt a little better hearing that. She still didn't like the idea of him dating, but she felt better.

"And just so you know..." she said matter-of-factly, in her normal everyday tone. "I never said I didn't wanna date you."

"Yes, you did."

"No, I didn't. When did I say those exact words?"

Thinking back, he had to admit that he never heard those words. The only thing he remembered was a conversation about how sex shouldn't determine how important a relationship is.

Still, she'd clearly drawn a distinct line between friends and romance. She may have never said those words, but all her actions have said exactly that.

"So, what are you saying? You suddenly wanna date me?" he said with a touch of latent cynicism.

"I'm saying that you never asked me if I wanted to go out on a date. You just tried to kiss me when I wasn't ready for it."

"So, had I asked you, you would've said yes?"

With a touch of flirtation, she answered, "I guess you'll have to ask and see."

The line went quiet for a moment. Monique waited him out, letting him build the courage to finally ask her out.

"No." he finally said.

"What?"

"No. I'm not gonna ask you out."

There is a moment of pause that the brain takes when it is processing the difference between what actually happened and what it thought was going to happen. Monique, so sure she knew the outcome of this exchange, was thrown off guard.

Ummm...okay..." she said, not knowing quite what to say.

Humiliation burned in her belly. Sure, Monique had been lied to and cheated on by past boyfriends, but she'd never been shut down when she made it clear that she wanted a guy.

That humiliation turned into indignance. Why the fuck wouldn't he want to date her?

Finally finding her legs, she starkly asked, "And why not?"

"Because I don't know what this is. You've shown no interest in anything but friendship for an entire year. It's not a coincidence that you suddenly wanna date me when I meet another girl."

"It's not like that..."

"Furthermore..." he interrupted because he wasn't done yet. "I'm kinda pissed off because I feel like you just tried to gaslight me. No, I never asked you out, but it wasn't because I wasn't interested. You knew I liked you, and yet you did nothing. Why? Because you were comfortable with what we had. You wanted us to stay just where we were. So, all this bullshit you're trying to feed me right now is really insulting."

At that point, her indignance turned into full blown anger. No one likes their mail read.

"You know what, Alex? Get over yourself! So you found yourself a little play date. Big deal. Now you think you're some sort of Mac?"

He huffed caustically. "Get over myself? That's rich coming from you."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

He wanted to let her have it, but he stopped himself and said, "Nothing."

"Oooohh noooo!" she said mockingly. "Don't stop now! You were on such a roll! Please, continue, Lexxy Baby! Tell me how I'm stuck on myself."

Her derisive tone was bad enough but hearing her use her pet name for him in that way cut him deep. Until now, it was always a term of endearment, even if she used it jokingly. Now, she was just being a bitch.

So, he struck back.

"No problem Mamma Mo! Miss "I'm the best damn trainer this side of the continent"! Let me tell you why you're sooooo upset! You're pissed off because you're the hot-bodied hottie, and I'm just the nerd who should feel lucky that you're showing him some attention. It shouldn't matter to me that you've kept me at arm's length for a year, watching movies while you're out banging one-night stands at clubs! No, I should come crawling to your lap when you whistle for me!"

There he went with that lapdog bullshit again! On top of that, he had the nerve to bring up that one-night stand she had with Craig!

Fuck him!

"Fuck you, Alex!"

Disdainfully, he sneered as he shot back, "That's the point. You never wanted to fuck me. You just don't want me fucking anyone else."

"Well, I'll tell you what; you can go FUCK YOURSELF!" She yelled back as she hung up in his ear. Then she flung her phone across the room before she realized she was doing it. It hit the wall before exploding into a broken, plastic mess.

"Goddammit!" she screamed out as she helplessly gazed at it on the floor.

She held her new phone in her hands a couple of hours later. It took a while for all her contacts to be downloaded from the cloud. When they did, she flipped through them until she found Alex's number.

Lying to herself, she pretended that she didn't scurry to the nearest phone store in anticipation of missing Alex's apology phone call or text. But now that she had it, there was no indication that he had tried to contact her. Her voicemail had no new messages, and there were no texts coming in.

Perhaps he did try to call her. Maybe. He could've even texted her and it just didn't come through.

But that probably didn't happen. More than likely, he kicked her to the curb. So, she did what she always did when she needed to vent. She called Toni.

"Hey girl!"

"GIRL, LET ME TELL YOU WHAT THIS MOTHER FUCKING CORNY ASS WHITE BOY SAID TO ME!"

***

A COUPLE OF HOURS EARLIER:

"That's real classy Mo!" Alex yelled into is phone. "Real classy! Well, you know what? FUCK YOU TOO!"

Monique didn't respond. No snappy comeback, no sarcastic retort. It was then that Alex realized she was no longer on the line.

"Hello? Hello?"

No, she was gone. She hung up on him.

Alex redialed her number, ready to let her have it some more. But his call went straight to voicemail.

This sent his anger level through the roof. Not only did she give him the dial tone, but she had the fucking nerve to block him? After all they'd been through, she threw him away, just like that?

He growled, tossed his phone on his pillow, and flopped back on his bed. Well fuck her. If that's how she wanted to be, so be it.

And yesterday was such a good day, too. He got to see Mo's thousand-watt smile when she received his gifts. Knowing that he had a big part in putting it there made his day. Apart from Greg, she was his best friend.

On top of that, he went out on a date with an attractive girl who was actually attracted to him. The entire evening, she hung onto his every word. Her eyes sparkled when she looked at him. Her smile was flirtatious. Her hand touched his when she made a joke.

The two of them talked well into the night. At the end of it, when he leaned in to kiss her, she accepted it hungrily. She opened her mouth, encouraging his tongue to enter. They made out at her doorstep for at least 5 minutes.

She wanted him to come inside. He could feel her wordless invitation.

But he declined. For some reason, it just didn't feel right.

He sighed. A feeling of regret swarmed him. This argument with Mo was a big one. He shouldn't have thrown her one-night stand in her face. He knew she was secretly ashamed of it, no matter how much she claimed the opposite.

However, what she didn't know was how much it actually hurt him. He never showed it. Hell, he even made jokes about it. But thinking about her fucking some random guy, yet at the same time not even have the slightest interest in him, was a secret aching that he hid in plain sight.

And now, she laid this shit on his lap; after all he went through to make himself okay with the status of their friendship. He chose to adopt her point of view and not focus on the fact that they weren't intimate. He just allowed their relationship to be what it was; to enjoy what they had.

But she had to go and switch it up. Worse still, she made it like he was the one who was confused.

He felt manipulated; like she was using semantics to turn this around on him. That's what that "I never said I didn't wanna date you" bullshit was; word games.

He expected that from the Summers of the world, but not from her. She was supposed to be different. They were Team MoLex, for fuck's sake!

What the hell did that even mean anymore?

Picking his phone back up, he decided to do the thing women say they wished more guys did. He dialed Cameron's number to tell her how much he enjoyed their date.

"Hey Alex!" she said when she picked up. There was no doubt that she was happy to hear from him. He could hear it in her voice.

"Hey." He said casually, playing it cool. "How are you?"

"I'm good. You?"

His conversation with Mo flashed in his mind, but he lied and said, "I'm okay."

"So, what's up?"

"I'm just calling to say what a good time I had last night. Thank you for going out with me."

On the other side of the phone, Cameron exhaled in awe as her heart fluttered. He thanked her for going out with him? What guys actually did that these days?

"Thank you for taking me." she said amidst her stuttering breaths. "I had fun, too."

"Cool." Alex said with a smile.

***

Monique held out hope that the following week, Alexander would be at his training session as scheduled. She watched the door when it was his time slot, looking for his notoriously punctual ass to walk in.

But, he was a no show at each appointment. The following week was the same. No call. No text.

Monique tried not to miss him. She tried to put him in the "out of sight, out of mind" compartment of her mind. If he didn't miss her enough to at least call, then fuck 'em.

But she was largely unsuccessful. Her feet dragged a little more than usual as she lethargically trained her clients. Her smile was empty; her laughter void.

During that time, she repeated their argument over and over inside her head. As much as she wanted to feel like the wronged party, she couldn't help seeing things from his side more clearly than she had before.

Parts of what he said to her were dead on. She did know how he felt about her. This knowledge didn't push her to do anything to make their relationship more romantic because she was comfortable with what they were. All her needs were fulfilled, and she didn't stop to think about what it was he needed.

He was her boyfriend without her having to be his girlfriend. And yes, her emerging feelings for him was conveniently timed.

Even the parts of his thinking that were way off base were ingrained with nuggets of truth. She never, not once, thought of him as her lapdog. Alex may have been insecure about his looks, but he was incredibly strong willed and self-assured where it counted. He was no one's flunky; least of all hers.

Still, she always thought of him as hers. He was her nerd; her Lexxy Baby. Good 'ole safe Lexxy; destined to always be there for her.

In the back of her mind, she figured they'd end up together; eventually. Like Toni said, that boy ain't going nowhere.

But they were both wrong, because now, he was gone.

***

When it rains, it pours. Why do all the men in life leave me?

That's what Monique was thinking that following Sunday as she looked up at the night sky from the roof of her childhood home.

For the first Family Sunday in...forever, Charles had offered to cook. He set up the grill in Momma's back yard, and was making steaks, baked potatoes, and corn on the cob.

That should have been the first indication that something was amiss. But Monique was too caught up in her problems to notice how anxious he was.

He broke the announcement as they were sitting down eating. His time ashore was up, and he had to either go back to the ship or be stationed overseas.

He'd just accepted a four-year tour of duty...in fucking Okinawa, Japan. He was leaving in two weeks.

The family pretended to be happy for him. There were hugs, kisses, and congratulations showered on him. This was what he always wanted; to get out of his hometown and travel the world. It was one of the reasons he joined the Navy.

Still, there was an undercurrent of sadness and loss.

Later that night, Monique was sitting in their favorite spot as kids. From the attic, there was a way to climb out on the roof of the house. It was a good spot to hide, but an even better spot to think. Funnily enough, the spot took on a new importance when they discovered the joys of marijuana as teenagers.