Life as a New Hire Ch. 45

"Our reward is pain and suffering. It is daughters and sisterhood. It is raising our young and taking comfort and giving comfort on the night before we take ourselves to the cliffs when our time comes. All our sisters who have passed before us are waiting to take us to our true home."

"No matter what else happens to us, we will never be alone again. In this life and the next, we are bound by more than blood and oaths. We are bound by a common destiny and a unifying goal. That goal is the Will of Ishara.

"And that is why you anger me so tonight. Not one of you has suggested I have not been true to Dot-Ishara, to Yakko-Ishara and to every Isharan who is and has ever been."

"A proper challenge is made when your House Head has betrayed your House and/or the Host."

"You challenge them AFTER you have set forth your grievances and your House Head has failed to successfully address them.

"Instead ... why are you any of you challenging me?" I glared my displeasure over them. "Don't answer that. Don't bother. We all know it is because I have a dick. Not one of you has challenged the legitimacy of my bloodline. Not one charge of treason has been leveled against me."

"By the Goddess!" I thundered. "Who here doesn't know what I do for the Host on a day to day basis? If you don't know, have you ever considered asking someone who might? Despite the disrespect you have shown me and the Goddess, have I ever challenged any of your selection for joining in a House I lead?"

"Of course not. I serve Ishara, as should you all. I have shown all of you absolute faith and honest solidarity. Tonight, you have let me, your sister, down. I desperately need your support, your comfort and your trust. To reward my efforts in doing a job I was unprepared for, yet couldn't deny, you have showered me with your hate. Good night."

I stalked off the mat, retrieving my dropped axes. I set the four weapons in their hooks on the wall then headed for the exit. Pamela had taught me you tend to your weapons before you tend to your life.

"Ishara," Madori called out. I kept walking. "Wakko Ishara," she called out again. I stopped, looked over my shoulder and gave her a blank face.

"I had not thought this through. I apologize," she lowered her head. Around her others nodded.

"I don't care," I glowered. "I don't want your words. I want deeds. I don't want your respect. It is not something I find any value in right now.

"I don't want your comfort. You have denied me solidarity when I so desperately need it. I trusted you all implicitly. You were the Chosen of Ishara, named by your sisters as worthy, who had never let me down before. Now? All of you need to work on regaining my trust. Until you do ... until you do, I will accept every challenge. And I promise you I will let your ghost explain to the Goddess and our Ancestors your treachery. Bye."

[A MOMENT WITH HANA]

{1:12 am, Thursday, Sept. 4th ~ 4 Days to go}

"Cáel?" Hana touched my chin, indicating she wanted eye contact.

"Yes?" I obliged. Her naked body lying next to mine was pleasurable and warm. The scent of our sexual coupling remained a happy reminder that we had shared our hunger and passion.

"Normally when we are together, I know I am the totality of your world. I have never felt your mind was elsewhere. Tonight ... I know you have been diligent and caring, yet I know a part of your mind is devoted to something besides our sex and your complete attention to my body and needs. Can I help?" she worried.

"Hmmm ... success has robbed me of many of my primal fears and forced me to think about my future beyond my next weekend, next planned vacation, or who I might meet at a club/bar/walking down the sidewalk," I worked through my cerebral confusions.

"When I started at Havenstone, I mostly feared for my life," I quickly put a finger to her lips. "I'll explain one day, but not tonight. But one morning shortly before we met, I was staring down my eminent demise, only to have my life turned a full 180. I suddenly had family, friends and an extended family to consider. I wanted none of that."

"You grew up, Cáel," she stroked my stubbly chin. "You are trying to grow up. I understand this will be a harder struggle than you can explain right now ... until our children become teenagers."

"That's mean," I joked. "I've actively and systemically resisted being a responsible adult since I discovered what being an adult entailed," I insisted.

"I accept that. I also accept when we are in a room together, your eyes always come back to me. I know you see the sensuality in other women, yet you have never betrayed me. I really, truly appreciate it. I do." She smiled. I smiled.

"That is not a license to cheat," she curtailed my constant subroutine of thought.

"Tell me what bothers you and I'll give you a big reward," she wiggled against my hip. Yay! I'm a simple guy.

"My 'department' tried to demote me a few hours ago. I got pissy and smacked them down for something that wasn't really their fault. I've picked up some bizarre knowledge that is difficult for sane people to accept."

"I told those ladies they had to re-earn my trust. I am wondering if I was too harsh on them," I mused.

"What does Buffy think?" she asked. That was a bit odd.

"She wants to toss a few of them into a 777's engine ... while it is running," I confessed.

"Go with her judgement, Cáel," she consoled me. "She scares me. She also loves you more than life itself. I'll deal with her possessiveness as we learn to time-share you." Time-share? What the fuck!

"No."

"Yes," she pouted. "I'm coming to accept you can't be monogamous. I would like you to keep me first in your life. Do you think you can do that?"

"I ..." I gave it some serious thought. I wouldn't have to totally forgo other romantic liaisons. This was probably the best deal I'd get outside divorce court. "Okay. I now have a goal to work for -- keeping you happy."

"I love you, Cáel. You don't have to respond. I want you to know how I feel. You deserve to know; and I want to be honest with my emotions concerning you," she sighed.

"Thank you. This means a lot to me -- your honesty," I exhale. She'd helped me burn off a good chunk of my anxiety.

"So," I stroked her hair. "You mentioned a reward, or two?" I was thinking about pressing her bodily against her huge glass window overlooking the city while I took her vigorously from behind. Then I could turn her around and warm up those cold nipples with my mouth and tongue.

"Yes," she purred, clearly delving into the depths of my passion. "Dad has agreed to take me down the aisle," she worked her way on top of me, "and I'm pregnant."

Had Hana not been on top of me and definitely in need, I would have gotten out of bed and repeatedly slammed my dick in a door.

[Me] 'Dude, not wearing a condom is not an invitation to paternity!'

[The Other Me] 'Suck it up, Upper Head. A dick's got to do what a dick's got to do.'

[M] 'Bitch!'

[TOM] 'Hehehehe ... happy Father's Day, Playboy.'

[M] 'Fuck you!'

[TOM] 'Speaking of which -- fucking is what I'm trying to do. Get with the Game Plan.'

"What is going on in your mind, Cáel?" Hana teased me.

"I'm having a conversation with my dick," I groused. "And losing."

"Let him play," she showered me with understanding and acceptance. "I'm safe now; let him play." Hana was straddling me with her pussy hovering over my cock. 'He' throbbed. "See, he's willing to make up and play nice."

No, he was not out to play nice. Not now and not ever. Dick!

[DISHONOR, REBIRTH AND THE SACRIFICES MADE FOR BOTH]

[AND THAT BIG TIME JUMP]

{7:03 am, Sunday, September 7th ~ 1 Day to go}

I had to remind myself Amazons came before the advent of the seven-day calendar and they determined their religious celebrations by stellar alignments, not by any specific date. Thus an early Sunday morning formal council session wasn't a common occurrence, but neither was it totally surprising.

Krasimira had requested a full meeting of the Amazon Council. House Ishara was marked by three oddities: my maleness, my personal appearance (Krasimira insisted for no given reason, i.e. standard operating procedure, and on the inclusion of the fourth member now wedged in around House Ishara's place at the table (Buffy, Daphne [Buffy still needed a translator], Juanita [as a member of the House Isharan House Guard] now included myself).

The first surprise for me, and most of the Council, was the replacement of Arwen by Desiree at House Epona's place. The shockwaves of Hayden's passing had most likely allowed Katrina to do some reshuffling in House Epona as well. The only person who was 'late' was Elsa, who still hadn't shown up as the meeting began. Her attendance was purely ceremonial anyway.

The Apprentices began the Prayer of the Ancestors. I did my part towards the end -- the First House Apprentices begin the song (Buffy did her best) and the House Heads of First Houses finish it. Since the Council still hadn't created a Regency Council, it fell to the Golden Mare to get down to business.

"Krasimira, you have requested this meeting," she stood and regarded the woman across the empty High Priestess' chair. Krasimira motioned for her guardian to go get 'something'. Apparently that 'something' was waiting right outside the door, because all the guardian had to do was open it and poke her head outside.

She held the door open for six individuals to file in. First was Elsa, who was looking more gorgeous, vigilant and lethal than normal. Behind her came another one of Krasimira' people holding a 20" diameter, shallow copper bowl by the handles. I could barely make out the glowing embers it contained.

Third, hobbling in with a cane, her face a mask of sorrow, pain and fatalism, was Kwenhamai aka Death Song. At her side, supporting her as best she could was Aya. Behind those two were two more of Krasimira's guardians. The place didn't explode because no one in the room except Katrina, me and (I assumed) Krasimira recognized Kwen by face.

Elsa took a warding position between St. Marie and Kwen, which drew a curious expression from the Golden Mare. Behind Elsa was Aya. Kwen was beside Aya and two guardians were in a warding position between Kwen and the rest of the Council. The bowl-holder (now bowl-less) stood behind Krasimira as did the guardian she had started with.

Kwen took a deep breath. She scanned the sea of curious faces, finally settling on mine. I tried not to cry and failed. I nodded to her and she did to me.

"Few of you here know me. I am Kwenhamai," she began her path and the tone of the room immediately turned ugly. Krasimira stood rapidly and smacked her palm on the table so loudly I knew it had to hurt. Her action made the outrage of the other 51 become stillborn.

"I am Dumalugal (Princess) Kwenhamai, niece of "Esharsanh" [Antiope] and daughter of "Hueksanhbizahhāi" [Penthesilea], of "Munuskappilāibihur" [Orithyia] descendent of "Kururiyahhssi" [Antianeira], first queen of the Amazon {the bracketed phrases are the Greek versions of the Amazons' names}. I am the oldest member of my House," she continued and I believe few caught the 'oldest' bit. Her recitation was her lineage, thus her right to rule.

The last plunge ...

"This is my duma (daughter) and Iwaruwa (heir), Aya of Kururiyahhssi ('she who rebels)." A pregnant pause seized the room.

'A life for a life'. That was what Pamela had told me -- her curse.

What if that had been aimed at me, not her? Maybe her burden was to see me through to this point. Think of Aya and know she deserves to grow up to be an Amazon, just like you. Give her the freedom to do so.'

Where there is Valor, there is Hope yet where there is Hope, there can be Valor too.

Greatness should be measured by the lives you save, not those you take. When the time ... Aya.

Pamela had given me life, I had given Kwenhamai her life on the battlefield and now she was giving Aya a life I could never provide for her ... greatness should be measured by the lives you save. That was not the Amazon way, yet it could be. I had no clue what to do, so I went with my instincts. At this juncture, we had all been rendered powerless ... by hatred and by our unforgiving nature.

"I see Aya of Kururiyahhssi," I declared as I slammed my palm down on the table. I was robbed of the added dramatic flair of standing up abruptly since I had to stand because I had promised to never sit in their presence. To add to the tragic play laid before us, I could barely see Aya. The table was high. All I could see was the top of her shoulders and her head.

"I see Aya of Kururiyahhssi," came from an unexpected direction. It was Kohar of Marda, standing, speaking and slamming her hand down on the table. Next, five seconds later, Fatima's successor echoed the proclamation. The voices cascaded together after that. The last House Head to add her affirmation was Katrina.

She was losing a breeding female of her house. I think the weight of the burden falling on those small shoulders was an even harder emotion for her to deal with. Once more, she sacrificed Aya for the good of all Amazons. There were only two people left -- St. Marie and Krasimira.

St. Marie walked over to the two Royals then touched Elsa on the upper arm. When Elsa stepped aside, the Golden Mare looked down at Aya and, with a slight bow of the head, "I see Aya of Kururiyahhssi."

"The birth of Aya of Kururiyahhssi shall be recorded in the Rolls of the Host," was Krasimira's spin on things. After all, neither hers nor the Golden Mare's vote mattered in this decision -- not legally.

St. Marie's vote was a symbolic representation of all members of the Security Detail who stood outside the House system. Kwen swayed slightly as she drew forth her small Amazon blade then extended a lock of her hair.

"No," Aya whispered desperately. Kwen shot her a grim smile.

"They are your people now," she replied softly. "With you, I have restored our bloodline's honor. Now I must meet my end, and my sins, alone." With that, she sheared off a length of hair, "I will take myself to the cliffs, without a lineage and nameless." She dropped her hair into the coals which popped and crackled as they devoured their offering. Three of us were crying -- me, Aya and Buffy.

Alone, Kwen shuffled painfully to the door. No one would help her.

"Kwenhamai," St. Marie proclaimed in a loud, clear voice. "You are forbidden to take yourself to the cliffs." Kwen turned toward us, her face ashen. She couldn't even die in the traditions of her people -- a final crushing blow.

"At this time we all must seek permission to take ourselves to the cliffs," St. Marie finished. "The Host is at war and we need every set of eyes, hands and feet. No one, full-blooded or Runner, may seek out our ancestors, or purposely end our lives. What reason do you give for seeking permission to end your existence?"

"I would prefer an honorable death," she replied sadly.

"I have been told you fight well, your wounds are not permanently crippling and I see no indication that you have lost the spirit to fight. Your request is rejected. Go to Medical. I will inform Rayen Artio so she may allocate your abilities in a manner which provides maximum benefit for the Host. You do not belong in these chambers. Leave."

This time, one of the SD ladies went to her side and helped her leave. Since that worthy didn't immediately return, I hoped she took Kwen up to Medical. Inside, events continued to unfold. St. Marie was about a foot from Aya and the height difference was comical.

"Is there anything you need?" she looked down at Aya. It was clear to me both women (titan and pixie) were trying to catch up with unexpected events.

"What do you suggest?" Aya asked. "I would like it if you told me," she rapidly added.

"Perhaps I should assign you some bodyguards and tutors," St. Marie suggested. The rest of us were standing around uselessly. St. Marie was in charge and helping out Aya had been added to her long list of duties she needed to perform.

"Oh ... I would like two bodyguards chosen from two different First Houses, plus one House Amazon from each continent. To those, I would like to add an equal number of Runners."

"So, you have thought this out?" St. Marie shot me and Katrina an evil look.

"Oh no!" Aya shook her head. "I'm as much surprised about Kwenhamai's actions and departure as you are. I really wanted her to hang around for several more years -- at least a decade. Fortunately, my Atta has taught me all Amazons must think on their feet and take advantage of every opportunity and turn misfortune to an advantage."

"He has taught that to you?" St. Marie kept her voice steady.

"He did so accidently ~ through my observation of him and overhearing others discuss how he was being trained. Normally, Au ... Katrina of Epona sends him on assignments without telling him what he's supposed to do until he arrives at his destination." That was followed by a hush, then muted amusement among the onlookers.

"I will see to your bodyguard. Is there anything else?" St. Marie remained polite. As we were all about to discover, the Golden Mare had no 'Aya-experience'.

"Yes. From this day forth, I want all male babies turned over to the Royal House," she plowed on. This hush had a darker tone.

"You wish to add men to your House?" St. Marie was back to being upset.

"No," Aya shook her head. "They are men after all. I want them to be taught to be skilled servants and craftsmen. There are numerous non-martial jobs the Host does right now that diverts our efforts from warfare and bringing more daughters into the Host."

"But no warriors?" St. Marie clarified, not only for herself, but for the majority of the Council as well who suspected the perniciousness of me and Katrina.

"In the Royal House? Not now; most likely not for several generations. I love Cáel Ishara with all my heart -- he is my mamētu mešeda (boon companion). He is also a bit of a nut. I think it is best if we give males tasks that don't stress them that much."

Sighs of relief (Aya wasn't poisoned with extremist beliefs) circled the table, followed by nods of approval (Aya was one of them ~ a pure-blooded Amazon with their traditional upbringing) -- fools. Unseen by the rest, Katrina and I knew this was Mamitu! ~ the Amazon belief that training, experience and ability allowed you to achieve victory; no 'luck' required.

"I would like it if the New Directive is pursued with vigor. The grim reality is that virtually all our old male population has passed and, for the sake of genetic diversity, we need to rejuvenate our bloodlines with males strong in mind, body and spirit."

"Is there ... I hear the wisdom in your words, Dumalugal," St. Marie had reversed directions emotionally and was starting to take her princess very seriously. As Katrina and I knew, Aya was super-bright; an Amazon of Legend inside a tiny frame.

"I would like it if my bodyguard served the Royal House for ten years at which time they will return to their native House. Runners will resume being Runners unless they are adopted into a House."

"I would like it if the First Directive was pursued with greater vigor as well," she piped up. "If the rest of the Houses don't get their acts together, House of Ishara is going to pick up all the superlative ones. I don't think anyone in this room -- except Cáel, Buffy and Daphne -- wants to see a House Ishara with 1,000 sisters."

"A thousand Runners are still the equivalent of a thousand formers Runners with the name Ishara attached," Messina murmured. I wasn't sure if I would be able to stop Buffy ... mainly because I wanted to jump down Messina's throat first.

"May I address the Council, Golden Mare?" Aya maintained her illusion of subordination. This was a brilliant Aya actively assuring the Council that she had no intention of becoming Queen anytime soon.